Said and done
by ICMezzo
Summary: Graduate students Edward and Jasper feel the connection, but is it enough to overcome their differences? EdwardxJasper slash, human/vampire love. RATED M.
1. Chapter 1: Questions and Answers

**Said and done**

**Chapter 1: Questions and answers**

_A/N: Bazillions of thanks to TwilightMundi for betaing this story for me. _

_The song for this chapter is Death Cab for Cutie's "No Sunlight." The link is on my profile page._

_Stephenie Meyer owns everything you recognize. Rated M for mature themes and eventual slash. As always, thanks for reading. _

* * *

"H-A-L-E. Voilá!" Jasper said laughing as he finished typing his last name on the title page of our paper, "The Golden Ratio in Debussy's _Reflets dans l'eau,_" by Edward Cullen and Jasper Hale. Finally complete.

I looked over at him, chuckling at his reaction.

"Seriously, this class is definitely the last music elective I'll ever take!" he swore. "That shit is hard!"

I laughed harder. I guess when you had limited time on your hands, having to complete a lengthy term paper was irritating.

I had all the time in the world. Plus, I hadn't gotten close to anyone outside of my family in a really long time, so spending a lot of time working on the project with Jasper had felt like a breath of fresh air—a breath of fresh air that scorched and scraped and tore at my throat, of course, but that goes without saying.

I thought about again asking Jasper why he'd taken an upper-level music theory course as his elective when he seemed to dislike it so heartily, but ultimately decided against it. Not that I wasn't still unclear on this point, but his response was always "I play" with no further details as to what exactly it was that he played. I had tried several times to find out more, with no success. Also, my questions always seemed to make him uncomfortable.

I hoped to avoid that today. I didn't want to tarnish his good mood, and I liked seeing him laugh. I suppose the fact that I could take delight in a human's happiness was a testament to the fact that my family's vegetarian lifestyle truly made us different from the rest of our kind.

So I settled instead for asking Jasper what he was going to do with all of his free time now that we had completed our project and classes and finals were winding down. Winter break was only a day or two away.

"Not much," he replied, leaning back in my desk chair. "I have to leave the dorms, but I'm not traveling or anything, so I'll be local. I'll probably house-sit for some friends while they're away over break. You?"

I genuinely liked Jasper. It felt odd to enjoy the presence of a human—it was much different than how I felt for my family members. I didn't usually find humans worth the trouble it was to be with them. There was too much restraint necessary, and too many secrets to keep. But Jasper was fascinating to me. I never knew what to expect from him. Plus, he seemed smart, funny, and genuine.

I certainly never forgot the difference between Jasper and I, but sometimes he made it seem irrelevant. Which is why the conversation progressed as it did.

"My parents live nearby, so I'll be spending the holiday with them," I replied. I watched my words so I could speak the truth, yet give nothing away. "I have quite a few siblings, but I am the only one who attended school nearby. So it can be pretty lively when everyone reconvenes at home after a semester apart."

"That actually sounds really nice." He sounded wistful.

"It is," I agreed. Sure, my family members sometimes annoyed each other, or fought and wanted to rip each other to shreds, but most of the time, we were glad to have each other and certainly we loved seeing each other after a lengthy time apart. Judging by Jasper's reaction, I realized his family must not be close and that seemed to bother him, perhaps because he felt lonely. My reflex to alleviate his pain caught me off guard.

"Perhaps you would like to join us one day during the break," I offered. I knew humans often asked each other to drink coffee or beer, or to eat dinner as a way to socialize, but a mealtime was not something I could offer. But if he was lonely, I could provide him with company, even if it was only the company of a vampire.

"That would be nice," he said simply.

I wondered why he didn't appear to be nervous around me. Most humans were, and the instinctual reaction was appropriate. Whether Jasper knew it or not, his life became a lot more dangerous the day our professor assigned me as his partner for our class project. I usually avoided classes requiring group work as much as possible; it was easier on the other students and my throat. Completion of this music theory class had been required for my major, however, had thus been unavoidable.

But Jasper had survived working with me. His heart still beat. The thought made venom pool in my mouth and my thirst suddenly multiplied.

Not killing Jasper? Now that shit is hard, I smirked, recalling his words.

He must have noticed my smirk and his face became puzzled. I quickly adopted a more sincere smile, and we discussed plans to connect during the break. I would see him during our final class this week, and then we decided he would visit my family's house the following weekend. Soon after, he put on his coat, and left for his own dorm room to study for a final exam.

I didn't want to imagine what my family members would have to say about the human visitor, this classmate who was becoming a friend. I imagined that some would be pleased. Alice and Esme worried I was alone too frequently, and would probably support this new friendship, odd as it was. Others, especially Rosalie, would have little use for Jasper. To be fair, I understood her reaction. Inviting Jasper into the house meant my family would have to pretend to be human in their own home, which was something we tended to avoid. Everyone appreciated having a place we didn't have to hide. So I could see that the visit would be a bit of an annoyance for them. I just hoped they wouldn't mind putting on the familiar human charade for a few hours as a favor to me.

And why again was this human worth making my family go through the trouble?

I'm not sure I'd had an answer to that.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

When I told my family members later that week about Jasper's upcoming visit, they reacted as expected. Some cheered, some grumbled, and others simply thought me odd. But it didn't matter what they thought, I decided. I had a friend. So what if that friend had a heartbeat?

On Saturday I heard Jasper arrive at my house long before he suspected, of course. I noticed that he hesitated at our front door for a long time before actually knocking. And then when I opened the door, his heart began beating erratically. I thought perhaps something about our house had given us away. Did our entryway scream "vampire"? No, I decided that everything seemed normal enough. And I did recall that his heartbeat had been irregular a few other times lately, which seemed odd considering we had only been working on our project in each case. It was probably nothing, I decided. Maybe even his instinct to fear me was finally kicking in. Nevertheless, I decided to have Carlisle inconspicuously listen to his heartbeat at some point during the visit to be sure there wasn't a medical problem Jasper would need to have checked out.

I invited him in, noticing his cheeks were pleasingly pink from the cold. We would have to spend more time outside, I decided. But first, it was time to introduce him to my parents.

"Mom, dad, this is Jasper. Jasper, this is my mom, Esme, and my dad, Carlisle."

Esme hugged Jasper, welcoming him to our house. Jasper said hello and blushed, color once again flooding his cheeks, to my delight.

"My sisters Rosalie and Alice are actually out holiday shopping today," I explained afterward, as I led him through the house. "But you might meet them later depending on when they get back. My brother Emmett is around somewhere though, so I'm sure we will see him at some point as well."

He nodded as we entered my room. He seemed interested in my books and music, so I let him peruse as I stood back and tried not to overanalyze his reactions.

Before he could comment, however, I heard my mother approach. "Edward?" she called loud enough for Jasper to hear as well.

"In here, mom," I replied, as though Esme didn't already know exactly where I was. She came into my room.

"Your dad and I were thinking today would be a good day to get our Christmas tree. Emmett isn't interested because he's busy working on Rosalie's Christmas gift while she's away. But I thought I'd ask if you two wanted to come along?" she asked.

I looked at Jasper. He was smiling. "That sounds great," he answered. "I needed a few things at Target, so I was thinking of going at some point this weekend anyway. You wouldn't mind if I picked up one or two things while we were there, right?"

Had he misheard? Was human hearing that bad? Well, whatever he wanted to do was fine with me. My parents certainly didn't need physical help with the tree. Esme could uproot one and bring it in one-handed.

"Sure, if you want to go to Target we can. My mom and dad can pick out the tree on their own."

It was his turn to look confused. "Oh, were you going to get your tree somewhere else? I didn't realize there were other options in the area. I'm happy to go wherever. I can go to Target some other time."

Esme giggled. "No, dear, no need to go to Target for a tree. We just go outside. Look out the window—plenty of Christmas trees in every direction. We just need to pick the perfect one and I thought you might want to help us choose."

"Oh! Of course. In southern Texas we couldn't just go outside and cut down the nearest tree, unless we wanted a Christmas cactus," he joked. "In any event, we never had a real tree growing up—just one of the plastic ones."

I smiled; his accent became heavier as he talked about his home state.

But Esme looked dismayed. "You've never had a real tree? Well, Jasper, that decides things. You are definitely helping us with the tree."

He laughed. "Happy to, ma'am!"

"Esme is fine, dear. But now that I think about it, perhaps you and Edward should just go yourselves," Esme continued on. "You don't really need our help, and I know it isn't fun hanging around with parents. Edward, just don't choose one too big to fit in the house, but otherwise, let Jasper pick the one. His first tree!"

As Esme flit away, I turned to Jasper. "Are you up for this?"

"Absolutely," he said, grinning.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

We bundled up to go outside. It had started to snow, and I wanted Jasper to be warm enough. I made sure to throw on a scarf and gloves as well, if only to keep up with pretenses.

It was actually a bit of relief to be outside with Jasper. His appealing scent was less concentrated thanks to the open space and light breeze. However, it was hard for me to ignore the color that again quickly reached his cheeks.

"Edward? Should we have brought a saw or something?" Jasper suddenly turned to me and asked after we'd already hiked a good distance into the woods.

"Oh! Right. Shoot. I guess we should head back for that. I'm sorry." My family members and I didn't need any tools to bring down a small tree, of course. But I could hardly snap a tree in half in front of Jasper. He was right. I needed a prop. We had to go back. I couldn't believe I'd made such a stupid mistake. I suppose it was because Jasper and his beating heart had distracted me so thoroughly. We were already quite far into the woods, and I felt bad for him having to walk all the way back. Too bad I couldn't just pick him up and run with him.

We trudged back to the house slowly. The snow had gotten a bit deeper, and it was slower going for Jasper as we walked on.

And then, about halfway back to the house, he stopped and turned to me again.

"Edward, the snow. It's… accumulating… on your head."

I looked at him instantly and noticed the snow that had landed in his blond curls had indeed melted and soaked his hair. Mine, of course, had not; I was as cold as the ice itself. I could have an inch and a half on top of my head at this point.

I could think of no remotely plausible explanation—at least not an explanation I was able to share with him. So I nodded. "Yes, I suppose it is."

He nodded as well, but didn't respond otherwise. I couldn't read his face. I wondered what on earth he could be thinking, how he could be rationalizing what he had seen.

I stopped and shook the snow free from my hair. No need to make this even weirder for him and have it continue to pile up, I thought. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed him watch me while I did so, his heart speeding up again. Carlisle would need to look into that, I decided.

But when he took his next step forward, he was still watching me. And while I heard his foot catch on an unseen rock beneath the snow, it was impossible for me to stop him from tripping while still maintaining a human façade. I would have needed to move far too quickly. I was stuck. I gritted my teeth and tried not to watch as sure enough, he went flying forward with his next step. He landed awkwardly on his arm before he slid on the icy ground into a nearby tree.

Knowing he landed face-down, I felt free to move as quickly as I was able to his side.

"Jasper!" I cried. "Are you okay?" Instantly, I knew he was not. I could smell the blood.

He groaned. "Yes. I feel like an idiot, and I'm kind of scraped up, but I'll be okay."

I helped lift him up, holding my breath. His scent made my head swim. I had to get him to Carlisle before the monster in me undermined my self-control.

"Come on. Let me get you to Carlisle." I scooped him up, ignoring his protests, and took off toward the house as quickly as I dared.

Carlisle met us at the front door. Doubtless, he smelled the problem long before we arrived. When I put Jasper down, Carlisle led him into his office to clean up his cuts and make sure he had no other injuries.

Esme quickly left the house, claiming she was going to quickly go pick a tree, knowing that Jasper and I wouldn't be bringing one back after all. I also knew she needed to put space between herself and Jasper's wounds.

I waited outside of the office, and listened as Carlisle verified Jasper wasn't seriously injured in any way, and then helped clean and bandage his scrapes and cuts.

Soon after, Jasper emerged, looking sheepish. "That was a lot of fuss for a few scrapes," he joked as we headed back to my room. I was immediately relieved that he seemed unbothered by his injuries.

"Well, my dad is a doctor, so we are lucky to be able to provide first-class care to our guests," I replied, turning to look at him.

"Uhm, I see you changed?" I continued. He was no longer wearing the grey sweater he'd had on when he arrived. Now, he just wore a t-shirt—that had "Guitarists do it with a strap on" emblazoned on the front.

He turned brighter red. "It was a joke," he explained. "Someone gave it to me, and I never thought anyone would see it. I just had it on under my sweater, but I had to take that off so your dad could fix up my elbow." He pointed to his bandaged arm.

"I see. Well, that answers my question anyway," I smirked.

"It does?" he looked really confused now. "Didn't you… already know?"

"No. You never wanted to talk about it. I'm not sure why though; there's nothing to be ashamed of. It's great you play the guitar," I explained.

"The… guitar…?" he asked.

"Yes. I always wanted to know what you played, but you always just changed the subject and never answered. So now I know," I smiled.

"I see. The guitar. Umm, Edward…" he hesitated. "The rest of what it the stupid shirt says… it doesn't bother you?"

I looked at him. "Well, I understand the innuendo, if that's what you mean." I'd been around too many years to claim ignorance to that. "Plus, you said it was a joke, so beyond that, I'm just happy to have solved the mystery of why you'd take a music theory class."

"So Edward, is it that you don't know that I'm gay, or you don't care that I'm gay?" he asked.

"You're gay?" I replied. I didn't care, but he'd never mentioned it.

"Well, I guess that answers that," he sighed. "Wait. Do you think a straight man would wear this shirt?"

"I suppose not. But whatever you are is fine with me. Really." Who was I to be judgmental? I wasn't even human.

"I guess I thought you'd care a bit more than you appear to." He looked a bit wistful. "I mean, I thought you knew, or at least you would be glad to find out. I thought maybe…you liked me. I mean, I'm pretty sure we like hanging out together, and you're always watching me with this look in your eyes that made me think you might want me—want to be with me," he stumbled through his words. "Was I wrong? Did I imagine it all?"

Bloodlust. He'd seen the hunger in my eyes, the desire for him I felt in my bones, the need to sink my teeth into his neck, to hear him call out my name as I did so.

Wait. Well, that was new.

But there it was. I wanted to hear my name roll off his red lips. Venom pooled in my mouth at the thought.

Why was that suddenly a part of my fantasy? Normally I thirsted only for blood, but with Jasper, it seemed, a simple drink would not be completely fulfilling. I wanted something else, something more, not just the blood. I looked at him, took him in.

I'd never considered anything such as what Jasper had just suggested. Sure, I liked being with him, even if we were just doing school work. And yes, I liked seeing color cross his face when he was feeling shy, and of course I appreciated hearing the careful rhythm of his heart. But it was impossible.

I'd never even felt any kind of real desire for another vampire. And I'd certainly never thought that way about a human. I would never let myself. But how could I explain that to the man before me, who was looking more and more embarrassed with each passing moment?

"Jasper, I can't like you like that." I hesitated. "I'm different. So even if… well, it would be impossible."

"You think I didn't know that?" he asked. "I don't know the details, of course. But I've known you are different for awhile. I just don't really care."

I heard a hiss from downstairs, reminding me to keep our secret.

"Jasper, I'm sorry. It really is impossible. Perhaps you should go. I'm so sorry you were hurt."

"Edward, first, it's just a few stupid scrapes. Definitely no big deal. Don't worry about it. Second, I want you to hear me when I say that what you are, whatever you are, it doesn't matter to me. And finally, when you recognize the fact that you might want to be with me the way I might want to be with you, I would like you to call me. Please, just consider it. Allow yourself that. Now, you're right. I probably should go. Please thank Esme for her hospitality and Carlisle for his help."

I nodded, then followed him down the stairs and out the front door, passing by the already decorated 12-ft Christmas tree now standing proudly in our living room. From years of experience, I knew it had taken Esme approximately four minutes to locate, cut down, and bring the tree into the house, and then another three to put it in the stand and decorate it.

As Jasper walked out the door, he turned back to me. "Edward, I hope to hear from you."

There was nothing to say to him, no false promises I could offer. So I just watched him leave, while my granite heart cracked a bit inside me.


	2. Chapter 2: Red or brown or blue

**Said and done**

**Chapter 2: Red or brown or blue**

_A/N: Raise your hand if you love writing Twilight fanfiction with the Olympics on in the background! _

_Sorry for the delay! I seriously had Internet, car, health, and computer problems, all in the last three weeks. But everything is back on track, and we're rolling. Look for more regular updates from now on. :)_

_Oh, and before I forget, voting for the FML Contest is open, and "Jasper and the No-Longer-Remotely-Private Parts" is in the first round of stories. So if you want to show your support for poor Jasper and all of the other great FML fics, visit www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net /~FMLcontest to cast your vote by Feb 24!_

_If you want to listen to my playlist as you read the various chapters in the story, you can always find the link on my profile page. The song for this chapter is Radiohead's "There, there."_

_Thanks to TwilightMundi for her hard work betaing each and every chapter. :)_

_Stephenie Meyer owns everything you recognize. _

_Song translations are at the end, along with links to recordings on the Web, if you are interested. _

_Rated M for mature themes and eventual slash. As always, thanks for reading. _

* * *

"I wish he'd stop. It's been three days."

"So obsessive... the same songs over and over..."

"Is all this because of the human?"

"He needs to hunt."

"Let him be. He'll work it out of his system."

I heard my family members' whispers, but I didn't feel like responding.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

I just kept playing. I'd already played through much of Debussy's work since I sat down at the piano three days ago. _Il pleure dans mon coeur,_ the song I currently played, fit my mood perfectly, not to mention the Forks weather, so I'd been playing it repetitively for the past few hours. I heard the vocal lines run through my mind as I poured myself into the music. My fingers flew over the keys as I reached last lines of the song, translating the French in my mind along the way.

There's no reason for this grief. Truly the worst pain is not knowing why, without love or hatred, my heart feels so much pain.

Yes. Those words felt exactly right. The song asked the right questions. But I was still without answers. There was absolutely no reason for me to be so affected by Jasper's departure.

A few hours and a hundred repetitions of the song later, I heard Esme approach. She placed her hands over mine and stilled them. She was stronger than me. I needed to hunt.

"Dear, how about a new one?" she asked.

I continued staring at the piano, unwilling to meet her eyes. "Debussy," I mumbled.

"Okay," she agreed. "Debussy."

She thought for a moment. "How about _Nuit d'étoiles?_"

I frowned. I wasn't interested in the song. It wasn't like Esme to rub my lack of romance in my face. Dreams of love under starry skies, no thanks. I shook my head. I searched my mind for other Debussy works that fit my mood. Something agitated or perhaps melancholy. After all, I had lost my friend. Had Debussy written any songs about that? I began to list his various works in my head, seeking something more appropriate.

But Esme was insistent.

"Edward, please. For me." She paused, then whispered in my ear, "Trust me."

I sighed and began the song she requested. Esme stayed by my side listening. She began humming the tune somewhere during the second verse, her melody becoming louder as the song progressed, as we both became lost in the magic of Debussy's music. Partway through the final verse, Esme began to sing quietly, her voice like tinkling bells and meant for my ears alone. I translated automatically as I played.

_Your eyes, blue like the sky, this rose, it is your breath, and these stars are your eyes..._

I closed my eyes as I finished the final chords and pictured the last set of blue eyes I'd seen. Blue-gray eyes that matched the Forks sky, and were perfectly complemented by rosy cheeks and lips that breathed air necessary to sustain a beating heart.

"Blue eyes can be lovely, Edward. Red or brown aren't necessarily the only options," Esme whispered.

"Esme, he didn't even want to be my friend," I heard my voice break as I spoke.

"No, he didn't, Edward," she agreed. "I believe you are correct; he didn't want to be your friend. He may have wanted something a bit different than that."

"Well, it doesn't even matter. We shouldn't be friends anyway. What would be the point? I shouldn't risk our identity any more than I have. I mean, you heard him. He already figured out we were different," I said.

"It didn't seem to bother him though, did it?" she asked.

"No," I admitted. "But that's irrelevant. I wouldn't have us—or him—in danger because I wanted a friend."

"Hmm. You're probably right. You shouldn't put him in danger if you only want a friend."

Esme began heading toward to the door. "I'm sorry for interrupting you," she said as she left the room.

I turned back to the piano and my fingers again reached for the keys.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Son."

I heard Carlisle call to me from his office as I passed by. I'd been wandering through the house directionless. There was little that seemed to draw my interest lately.

"Carlisle." I greeted him as I entered.

He looked up from his book. "You did well."

I nodded. I knew he was referring to the fact that I ignored my instincts and brought the bleeding Jasper to him instead of having a nice long drink in the woods after he fell.

"That was not any easy thing that you did out there the other day. It took very much control. I'm proud of you." Carlisle stopped before continuing. "But I have to admit that I'm curious. Were you not tempted by his blood?"

"Of course I was," I replied. "But I held my breath and hung on to the fact that I only needed to suppress my instincts long enough to bring him to you. As much as his blood..." I paused, recalling the mouthwatering aroma, while venom pooled in my mouth. "As much as I desired his blood, I also knew that I didn't want to hurt him further."

"It is unusual, I think, to consider the feelings of prey?" he asked.

I shrugged and frowned. My eyes roamed listlessly around the room while I waited for him to continue.

"Edward." He wanted me to look at him.

After a moment, I gave in and met his gaze.

"I understand that you are upset right now. But have you considered the strength and depth of your feelings are rather intense under the circumstances?" he asked. "Perhaps you may want to consider exactly why that might be."

I had no desire to analyze my feelings, only to be rid of them and return to life as it was before I'd met Jasper. I moved to the door. "May I go?"

"Of course. Again, I'm proud of you. Maybe you wouldn't have to be as dangerous to Jasper as you think."

I began to protest, but Carlisle continued. "Somehow I think he may actually be more of a threat to you. Change is unsettling for us."

I nodded curtly and left the room.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Edward, for god's sake, lighten up. He was a stupid human. Why does it even matter?" Rosalie practically attacked me one evening. She and Emmett were sitting next to each other, pouring over their car magazines while I sat nearby staring out the window. "I'm sooo sick of the moping! It's been almost a week!"

Emmett snickered. "I'd be pissed too if some college boy came on to me!"

I ignored them.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Hey, Edward! Catch!"

Instinctively I reached out and snagged the phone Alice hurled at my head.

"Try it. You'll like it!" Alice grinned at me.

I snorted.

"Seriously, what's the worst that could happen?" she asked.

I raised an eyebrow.

"Should I call him for you?" she giggled. "Oh Jasper, want to come over and talk music theory? Maybe then later we can make our flat staffs sharp?"

"Alice! That doesn't even make sense!"

"Sooooorry! Oh, I know! Maybe you two could practice fingering you instruments!"

"For god's sake, Alice!" I stormed out of the room.

"Fine," I heard her say as I walked away. "Stay home alone and work on your organ solo..."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

It might feel good to run, I decided. I needed to hunt anyway. It had been 11 days since I had last done so. I had feasted then, preparing for Jasper's visit.

"I'm going out," I called to my family as I left my house.

"Bye, Edward! Love you, dear!" I heard Esme's response before I shut the door behind me.

I ran, flying through the forest. Animals scattered as I passed. They knew to stay away from me. Apparently it took a visit to my house for Jasper to finally figure out that was the best move for him as well, I thought derisively.

But something nagged at me. Yes, Jasper had left suddenly, but I couldn't deny that I'd actually been the one who suggested he do so. I hadn't known how else to deal with what he was saying. He said he didn't care that I was different. But he didn't know the truth. He'd change his tune if he knew what I really was. I had little doubt of that.

"Ha! Let's see you accept this Jasper!" I said aloud before taking out a buck and draining it quickly.

I began running again. I pictured Jasper's face when I told him about my dietary habits. "You've just got to try some doe. It's warm, and pulsing. You'll love it," I thought as I snagged a deer that happened to be too near to my path.

After finishing the deer and disposing of it appropriately, I began running again, albeit less urgently than before. My mind drifted back to our final conversation. I replayed it again in my mind with perfect recall. There were other words Jasper said—words I didn't want to hear. Words I couldn't even consider because they were too dangerous. But that is exactly what he wanted me to do. He made it sound so simple. He just wanted me to consider the unfathomable. The impossible. The utterly impossible.

I wondered if maybe a compromise could be reached. After all, Jasper had made another request as well. He had said he hoped that I might call him. I was fairly certain I could do so without endangering him further. It was just a phone call, right? It was also possible that he wouldn't want to talk to me any longer anyway. It had been quite a few days, and I was aware that there was some human rule that dictated one was supposed to call three days after a date. Perhaps post-visit protocol was similar? It had been a good deal longer than that already. I frowned. It seemed I couldn't do anything right.

But suddenly, I couldn't get the idea of speaking to Jasper again out of my mind. Unconsciously, I changed course, and began running as fast as I was able, back towards home.

I stood motionless, staring at my cell phone. I had been doing so for hours now. But though I had made up my mind to call Jasper, I seemed unable to actually place the call.

Meanwhile, the rest of my family moved quickly throughout the house preparing for this evening's festivities. Alice had already left the day before. She was in Alaska with friends. She always claimed New Years Eve was more fun in Alaska because they get so little daylight this time of year. It meant her partying could last longer because of the additional hours available for nighttime festivities.

Rosalie and Emmett were staying a bit more local. They were currently packing a few items to take with them to Seattle. I didn't expect to see them again for another day or two.

And Esme and Carlisle were beginning to prepare to attend a party with his work colleagues at the hospital. I didn't envy them that. They had a long evening of human food and beverage consumption ahead of them. Nasty.

I would be alone for the evening. I wasn't too concerned. When you had an endless string of years available to you, it was no problem to spend one New Years Eve at home staring at a silent cell phone.

Thus, I stood there with my cell, considering my call. I would call, I had decided. But I wasn't sure exactly what I would say. He might not want to talk to me. And that, I reasoned, would probably be the best outcome for everyone involved. After all, I was unlikely to see him or need to speak to him otherwise. We both had only a single semester left to complete before finishing degrees, and with such different majors, we would hardly encounter each other in class again before graduation.

But for some absurd reason, I hoped for an alternate ending. What it might be, I was entirely unclear on. But I hoped there was some way that I could talk to Jasper again and hear his laugh and see his blush, but still protect him and be certain that everything would still turn out okay. I doubted such a possibility existed. Yet there I sat, phone in hand, willing to take the risk. For some reason, I lacked the strength to leave him be.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Because vampires don't slip, I had no excuse for my behavior when, long after everyone else had left the house, my thumb brushed the "send" button on the cell phone I'd been staring at for hours, effectively placing a call to Jasper.

Yet I was somehow still slightly surprised when I heard the phone ring after pressing the button, and even more shocked when, after the fourth ring, he answered.

"Edward?"

I searched for a proper response. "Yes."

There, that would do.

"Hi," he replied, pausing for a moment before he continued. "I'm glad you called."

I heard voices in the background. Lots of voices. It sounded like he was at a party. Shit! Of course he was at a party. It was New Year's Eve! I had to let him go back to his friends.

"I'm sorry. I must have dialed your number by accident. Haha. Wrong number. Heh..." I trailed off. I grimaced at how stupid I sounded. "Anyway, I'll let you go. Sorry to have bothered—"

He cut me off. "Wait. Don't go."

I didn't respond. But I didn't hang up either.

"Edward?" he asked.

"I...Jasper, I don't know if I can..." I willed Jasper to understand without further explanation.

Jasper, please understand, I thought. Understand that I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if we can be friends when you don't know who I really am and I can't say, and oh, by the way, I don't have a clue what, if anything, you want at this point either because I didn't call you for 12 days, 4 hours and 54 minutes and when I did call you, I interrupted your gathering with your friends, friends who you should be with instead of me, because you should never have to be exposed to the risks inherent in my world, even though I apparently have some insane desire to have you be part of my world, though exactly what part, I have no idea, because I thought it would be great to have you as a friend because I like you a lot, but for some reason, I don't think that's what you meant when you said that you hoped I liked you like you liked me, but you don't know that being friends is barely possible, much less anything else, so I've never thought of you in any other way, because it isn't an option to do so, not because I never wanted to, but because it isn't an option, sort of like how I never considered whether I might like the sky to be orange; it would be insane to consider my opinion in the matter because it isn't an option and my feelings about the sky wouldn't make a difference—not that I would change the color of the sky, because it is the color of your eyes and I guess I like your eyes. Oh, and your heart is nice too.

Where to begin?

"Hey, it's okay. There's only one way to find out, right?" he asked.

I found myself agreeing with him. "Uhhm, right. Okay."

"Okay." I could hear the smile in his voice. "I should go for now. My friends..."

"Of course. Enjoy your evening, Jasper."

"Thanks. I'll call you tomorrow. Maybe we can get coffee or something," he suggested.

Yeah, or something, I thought, while I bid him goodnight.

I closed the phone and stared at it. Only one way to find out.

* * *

_A/N: Oh, Edward. Full of vampire obsession plus teenager mood swings. Must be rough._

_Read on for rough translations (i.e., more poetic than word-for-word) to Debussy's songs included in this chapter. They are some of my favorites. _

_You can hear the songs on Youtube at (remove the spaces) _www . youtube . com/watch?v=Ku5X1xvlQ6o&NR=1_ and at _www . youtube . com/watch?v=GdpTNEDTsvY

_I've actually performed both pieces in my time. Maybe I'll upload recordings to Youtube if folks are interested in hearing my own interpretations of these beautiful songs. I'm not sure how into classical music you all are? But if Edward is, maybe you are too! :)_

_**Il pleure dans mon coeur **_

_Il pleure dans mon coeur comme il pleut sur la ville.  
__Quelle est cette langueur qui pénètre mon coeur?  
__O bruit doux de la pluie, par terre et sur les toits!  
__Pour un coeur qui s'ennuie, O le chant de la pluie!  
__Il pleure sans raison dans cecoeur qui s'écoeure.  
__Quoi! nulle trahison? Ce deuil est sans raison.  
__C'est bien la pire peine, de ne savoir pourquoi,  
__Sans amour et sans haine, mon coeur a tant de peine._

_**There is weeping in my heart**_

_There is weeping in my heart like the rain falling on the town.  
__What is this languor that pervades my heart?  
__Oh the patter of the rain on the ground and the roofs!  
__For a heart growing weary, Oh the song of the rain!  
__There is weeping without cause in this disheartened heart.  
__What! No betrayal? There's no reason for this grief.  
__Truly the worst pain is not knowing why,  
__Without love or hatred, my heart feels so much pain._

_**Nuit d'étoiles**_

_Nuit d'étoiles, sous tes voiles, sous ta brise et tes parfums,  
__Triste lyre qui soupire, je rêve aux amours défunts.  
__La sereine mélancolie vient éclore au fond de mon coeur,  
__Et j'entends l'âme de ma mie Tressaillir dans le bois rêveur.  
__Dans les ombres de la feuillée, Quand tout bas je soupire seul,  
__Tu reviens, pauvre âme éveillée, Toute blanche dans ton linceuil.  
__Je revois à notre fontaine tes regards bleus comme les cieux;  
__Cettes rose, c'est ton haleine, Et ces étoiles sont tes yeux._

_**Starry night**_

_Starry night, beneath your veils, beneath your breeze and your perfumes,  
__Sad lyre sighing, I dream of a love long past.  
__Serene melancholy comes to grow in my heart.  
__And I hear the soul of my love, quivering in the dreamlike wood.  
__In the shadows of the leaves, When, alone, I am sighing low,  
__You return, poor soul awaken'd, pure white in your shroud.  
__I watch at our fountain your eyes, blue like the sky,  
__This rose, it is your breath, and these stars are your eyes._


	3. Chapter 3: Party like it's 1899

**Said and done**

**Chapter 3: Party like it's 1899**

_A/N: Edward's ringtones are in the author's note at the end._

_Oh, and here's some totally unexpected yet very cool news: "Jasper and the No-Longer-Remotely-Private Parts" has been nominated for the Slash Award for Best Comedy. Thanks to all you awesome readers who nominated poor Jasper! You seriously rock! So... I guess now everyone has to go vote for him, and all of the other super-amazing nominees as well! You can do so at _theslashawards(dot)blogspot(dot)com._ Vote by March 21._

_This chapter's song is Pink Floyd's "Coming Back to Life." The link is on my profile page._

_Thanks to the a-friggin-mazing TwilightMundi for betaing this chapter._

_Stephenie Meyer owns everything you recognize. _

_Rated M for mature themes and eventual slash. _

_Happy reading!_

* * *

I set my cellphone down and stared out my window into the darkness.

Jasper's words ran through my head. The conversation hadn't been long; I didn't have very much to work with.

_There's only one way to find out.  
__There's only one way to find out.  
__Wait. Don't go.  
__There's only one way to find out.  
__I'm glad you called.  
__Wait. Don't go.  
__I'll call you tomorrow.  
__Maybe we can get coffee or something.  
__I'm glad you called.  
__Maybe we can get coffee or something.  
__Wait. Don't go.  
__There's only one way to find out.  
__Edward._

A sudden jolt of electricity coursed through my body as I remembered him saying my name.

_Edward._

Oh my god. There it is again. What the—

Suddenly, my cell began playing the tinny sounds of Esme's 1920s dance music ringtone.

Dammit. I cursed myself and my dramatic tendencies. I'd only been feeling the cell signal transmitting Esme's call to my phone, not some crazy electrical connection. Well, at least I hadn't dreamed it up completely, I consoled myself.

I sighed and answered the phone. "Hey, Esme."

"Happy New Year, Edward!" she greeted me.

"Oh! Happy New Year." I was surprised. I had been deep in thought and hadn't realized midnight already arrived. Esme's call signaled the beginning of a Cullen tradition: Everyone stopped what they were doing in the first minutes of each new year to reach out to each other.

I spoke to Esme and Carlisle for a bit before we hung up. I knew they also wanted to call my brother and sisters, and I knew my siblings would also be calling me soon as well.

As I knew I would, I felt another tingle run through my body a few moments later. A half second passed and my phone began playing _Little Brother_ by Grizzly Bear.

I answered. "Hey, Emmett, Happy New Year."

"Hey bro. You too!" Emmett sounded happy. He and Rosalie must have been having fun. I chatted with both of them until it became clear they wanted to return to their previous activities. I tried not to imagine exactly what those were.

After saying goodbye to Emmett and Rosalie, I waited for Alice's call. I glanced at the clock. 12:24 a.m. That was unusual. Alice should've called by now. Perhaps she was waiting until midnight in Alaska, which was an hour behind.

But just then I felt the electricity course through my body a third time. Alice. I didn't even wait for the phone to ring before answering her call.

"Hey, Al. Happy New Year. What took you so long? Are you partying like it's 1899?"

"Heyyy Edwaaard! It's Jasper."

Wait. Jasper? Oh! I wasn't prepared for this. Quickly, I regrouped. "Jasper. Hi. Sorry. I thought you were someone else."

"Ts'okay," he paused. "I just umm, I realized I didn't tell… I mean I wanted to… to tell you somethin'."

I waited for him to finish, but he was quiet.

"Jasper?"

"Yeah?" he replied.

"What was it that you wanted to tell me?" I was growing confused.

"Oh! Yeah! I wanted t'say Happy New Year!" he laughed.

Not that I minded, but it seemed to be a funny reason for him to place such a late-night phone call. After all, he had no idea I hadn't gone to sleep since 1918; was he not concerned that he might have woken me up? And given the uncertain nature of our relationship—I didn't know what else to call it—well, let's just say his call was completely unexpected.

"Jasper, are you okay?"

"Yep. I'm grrreat. Heh. I just forgot earlier to say that I wanted that, that I just wanted to say that to you."

I responded as soon as I was able to translate his words into a comprehensible sentence. "Oh. Well, thank you. You too, of course."

"Thanks. Edward, s'gonna be a real good year…Edward…" He trailed off.

"I hope so, Jasper. But, are you sure that you are okay? You don't sound like yourself. Do you need help?"

"NoNono. I'm good. Just enjoyin' another beer and talking to my Edwar—Wait! Who's Al?"

"Al? You mean Alice? She is my sister. You didn't meet her when you were here because she was out shopping. Why?"

"Oh, right. Alice. Great. That's a good name for a sister."

"Yes, I suppose it is a good name." Not that I didn't agree with his evaluation, but it seemed a strange topic of conversation.

"Edward salso good. Edward. Ed-ward. Ed, Eddie, Edward. Eeee-dwaaard." He started laughing again.

Was he making fun of my name? Jasper wasn't the most common name either. I opened my mouth to point that out, but he started talking again.

"Hehe. I'd probably like the name Jedebedezelleziah too if it was yours." He paused. "Well, Edward, I have to go." More laughter. "So I hafta go. But I just wanted to tell you something."

"Happy New Year, you mean?" I asked. "You already told me. Thank you for that. And again, same to you."

"No, no. Ahh, shit, Edward. I wish you were here so I could talk to you more. It's gonna be a good yearrr nowwwwWWhoa!"

I heard a splash and the phone went dead.

I tried to call back, but the phone went straight to voice mail. Okay. That was odd.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Thirty-seven minutes later my body tingled again, signaling yet another incoming phone call. This time I waited for the phone to ring and the caller ID to indicate my caller's identity before answering. This time it really was Alice.

"Hey Alice. Happy New Year," I sighed audibly.

"Oh my god, Edward. Have you still not called him? You've really got to just do it. But try not to sound so depressed when you do. Not everyone finds emo hot."

"No, Alice, I called him. It went well, I think?" I told her. I had thought it had gone well, or at least, the initial conversation had.

"Then why are you going all Eeyore on my ass?" she asked.

"Well, because he called me back."

"Again, I fail to see the problem," she said.

"Alice, it was odd. He called me a little while ago but he sounded strange—almost as though he was confused. And he seemed to think everything was really funny, but I wasn't exactly intending to be humorous." I tried to explain, but she cut me off.

"Let me guess. He was slurring his words a bit?" she laughed. "Edward, you were totally just drunk dialed!"

"Drunk dia...Oh."

"That's so funny," she giggled. "Humans."

"Yeah. Human." I sighed again.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

I spoke to Alice the following afternoon as she waited in the Alaska airport for her flight home.

"So tell me, Edward, what did your human confess during his call? There's nothing for us to do but analyze every word he said," she suggested.

"Why would we do that?" I asked. "He was drunk, and didn't make a lot of sense, to be honest."

"Yes, but drunk dialing, Edward, is a classic human technique for communicating. You see, they use alcohol as an excuse to be able to say things they otherwise wouldn't because they're too inhibited. They'll blame anything on alcohol given the opportunity. So... did he say anything good?"

"From what I can tell, he just called to wish me a happy new year since he'd forgotten to do so when I called him earlier," I replied. "Although..."

"Although what, Edward?" She sounded excited. Alice loved this kind of thing.

"Well, at one point I think he called me 'his Edward,' but he could have misspoken—he did that quite a bit. And at one point he kept repeating my name, which was really strange. And I think he was saying that he wished I was with him, but then he hung up on me suddenly."

"He hung up on you?" She sounded surprised.

"Well, he said he had to go, started laughing, and then suddenly I heard the sound of water and then nothing. I think he hung up on me. And I tried calling him back, but it just went straight to voice mail."

"Well, that's strange. I'm sure one of his friends just stole his phone or something."

"Maybe. But he also said he'd call me this morning but I haven't heard from him. I even called him again at one point, and again, it went to his voice mail," I explained.

"I bet he's just embarrassed after calling you last night. Don't worry, Edward. For once, just relax a little bit. I bet he'll get in contact with you."

"Right, well, it's probably best if he doesn't anyway," I sigh. "I mean, he was clearly with plenty of his friends last night, so he definitely doesn't need me in his life."

"Really, Edward? Are we back to this again?"

"I guess not. But I have to say, this is very frustrating. I wish I could read his mind."

She giggled. "Right? Like in all those vampire legends. And I want to be able to tell the future!"

The day wore into evening, and still no call from Jasper. I called him again once or twice, but he never answered the phone.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

By the time the sun rose again the following day, I decided to give up. He wasn't going to call. It was for the best anyway.

I decided to go for a long run.

I hit my stride a few miles from my house, and appreciated the brisk rhythm of my steps against the frozen earth. After a while, I let my mind wander to Jasper, though I expected I wouldn't have had much of a choice in the matter had I tried to prevent myself from doing so.

There was no question I was confused. I decided to make a list:

I was confused about why he would have hung up on me after saying he wished I was with him.

I was confused about why he hadn't called back as he had indicated he would.

I was confused about why he wouldn't answer my calls, if he was too embarrassed to call me himself.

I was confused about why he had even called me in the first place, although Alice seemed fairly confident that alcohol had played a significant role in his doing so.

And then of course I was confused about why exactly I even wanted him to call again, because why would a vampire want to sit in a cafe and drink coffee with a human? It was absurd!

But mostly, I was confused about my apparent inability to let him go and get him out of my head.

When I reached my favorite meadow deep in the forest, I had no more answers than when I had begun. But I was in one of my favorite places in Washington. I had always felt at peace there.

The clearing was a frozen, icy white wonderland, and a rare patch of sunlight made the landscape (and myself) glitter brightly. I lay down on the icy ground, and willed my pale skin to absorb a bit of the sun and warm my body a few degrees.

I closed my eyes, and concentrated on the sounds of the forest and the feel of the sun's rays. After a few minutes of trying to control my thoughts, I gave in, and let my imagination run wild.

It was not difficult to imagine Jasper in this place. I'd seen him bundled up against the cold the time he had visited. So in my mind, he lay down next to me, decked out in his bulky layers of clothing, mittens, scarves and such. Yes, he too would lay with his eyes closed, and his face unconsciously tilted toward the sun. I had a bit more trouble envisioning how the sun would look on his blond curls. I had never seen him in the sunlight before, simply because I could not be seen in it.

But thankfully, there were other details I could concentrate on more easily. For instance, it was all too simple to imagine the way his nose and cheeks would be so wonderfully pink from the cold. I could almost hear his heart beating. I imagined how he would try to suppress a smile when he peeked at me through the corner of his eye and realize he'd caught me doing the same.

I hummed in pleasure. Thinking of him made me feel happy, and content.

How had I never understood that a human could be so... lovely?

I quickly sat up. What had he done to me?

I wondered how many times the average vampire has thought to him or herself, "If only things were different..." It seemed I thought of little else lately. But to whom would I plead such a case? Who could change circumstances such as mine, or dare I think it, ours?

The sun had moved far across the sky while I'd been in the clearing, dreaming my impossible dreams, and I recognized it would be wise to head home. I hadn't mentioned that I was leaving, and I didn't want my absence to worry Esme or Carlisle.

I headed back through the forest, and arrived back at home when the sun was low in the sky. I noted the rare sunny day afforded Forks a stunning sunset. When I emerged from the woods behind my house, the sky was awash with brilliant color.

Apparently an orange sky was a possible option.

And if that was true, perhaps other impossibilities were, every once in a very long while, completely possible as well.

_

* * *

_

_A/N: Edward's ringtones:_

_Esme: The Vamp, performed by Joseph C. Smith's Orchestra, circa 1919. _www(dot)Besmark(dot)com/dan17116.m3u

_Emmett: Little Brother, by Grizzly Bear (6:00-6:20ish). _www((dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=6POCV842BFo

_Alice: Human, by The Killers (specifically, around 1:50-2:20). _www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=RIZdjT1472Y

_And, even though they aren't mentioned in the chapter, I thought you might want to know his ringtones for the rest of his family members._

_Rosalie: Screwed up and beautiful, by Better than Ezra. _www(dot)alternativeaddiction(dot)?id=981

_Carlisle: Coming back to life, Pink Floyd. _www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=GPvtUjTbV_A

_Oh, and Edward's default ring is Run, by Vampire Weekend (specifically around 0:42-0:59). _www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=qNcjAVuiu-o

_Edward's ringtone had been an excerpt from _Clair de lune,_ of course, but one day in high school it rang during class and Edward felt more self-conscious than normal when everyone stared at him. Really, his classmates were simply surprised because one of the perfect Cullen's had made a mistake and let his or her phone ring and then received a lecture from an equally-astonished teacher. But Edward thought the other students were judging him for his unconventional choice, and felt that a more contemporary ring would help him fly under the radar a bit more in the event that it should ever happen again. (It never did. In fact, Edward's gaffe is the only time in vampire history in which a member of the undead accidentally let his or her __cell phone ring in class. The only reason it even happened to Edward was because he was distracted by the unexpected scent of a werewolf that entered the classroom via a nearby open window. It also helps that very __few vampires ever attend high school.) _


	4. Chapter 4: Splish, splash

**Said and done**

**Chapter 4: Splish, splash, I was taking a... leak**

_A/N: Thanks to the wonderful beta TwilightMundi for correcting my many, many mistakes. _

_The song for this chapter is "Crystalised" by The XX. (There's a link to it on my profile.)_

_Stephenie Meyer owns everything you recognize. _

_Rated M for mature themes and eventual slash. _

_Happy reading!_

* * *

"Throw in some wood and we've got a deal."

I was haggling with Alice over the number of sheep she was willing to trade for my bricks during an intense game of "Settlers of Catan," which we played with my siblings a few days later, when Emmett suddenly looked up and started laughing.

"Oh, shut it, Emmett." I punched his arm. I assumed he was laughing at my use of the word "wood." His response was to laugh harder.

But suddenly, Rosalie cocked her ear. "Wait, is someone expecting company?"

I shook my head, listening. Sure enough, I could hear a car heading slowly in our direction.

"Interesting, I don't recognize the car," Alice commented. Rosalie nodded in agreement.

"Well, you wouldn't," Emmett replied. "But Edward should."

I glanced at him, and listened harder. I realized I had heard a similar car approach our driveway just over two weeks ago. I felt my eyes grow wide.

Alice looked at me with alarm. "Is everything okay? Do we need to leave?" It was very unusual for us to have unannounced visitors.

Emmett laughed again. "Only if you don't want to play 'human'."

"It's a human?" Rosalie whined.

She didn't have to wait long for an answer. As the car turned into our driveway the scent of human blood suddenly invaded our senses. A few seconds later, we heard the accompanying heartbeat.

"Oh Edward! It's him!" Alice cried, recognizing the scent Jasper had left behind from when he had visited. "What are you going to say?"

I just stared at her. I think my mouth even hung open a bit.

"Edward? Edward!" she shrieked at me as I remained stunned and motionless.

"Okay, everyone. Calm down. Edward, relax. Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, take the game upstairs. Carlisle will take Edward's place in the game." Esme entered the room, and took control. "Edward, you can greet your visitor, and I'll just be right here in the kitchen, in case you need anything."

Emmett nodded, and stood to head toward the stairs with Rosalie, who followed, grumbling about being inconvenienced.

We heard the car pull up next to our house.

My mind raced. I began panicking. Why was he here? What did he want? Why hadn't he just called? Had he figured out our secret? Was he mad at me? Should I pretend to be mad at him and send him away? Should I invite him in? What should I say? Should we just pretend to not be home? Should I send him away for his own good? What should I do?

My sister understood the look in my eyes. "I'll help you, Edward," Alice offered.

I looked at her. How on earth did she plan to help me?

"Do you trust me?" she asked.

I thought for a moment before nodding. I decided that at the very least, I trusted her more than I trusted myself at that moment.

"Okay," she said. "I'll tell you what to say. Just do what I tell you."

I hesitated again, but then slowly nodded.

Suddenly everyone sprung into motion. Esme darted up the stairs along with Emmett and Rosalie to continue the game with Carlisle. And Alice silently dashed into the next room, so she could advise me without being seen.

I remained motionless as footsteps approached, and our front doorbell rang. I seemed unable to move my own feet.

"Edward, if you don't get the door_ I_ _will!_" Alice threatened from the next room.

Okay, I knew that was not what I wanted. Willing myself to move forward, I took a deep breath. I gasped slightly as his familiar scent that had teased me during his approach now overwhelmed me. My throat burned. And I knew it was only going to become worse. I braced myself. I could do this. I'd done it before. I just wished I'd had time to prepare—

"Edward! Go!" Alice hissed from the doorway.

I forced myself to take a tentative step toward our front door. There, that wasn't so hard. I took another. Okay, not too bad. One more. Good, Edward, I encouraged myself. Keep going. One foot in front of the other. One more step. Just one more... I found it helpful to step to the rhythm of the heart beating on the front porch.

And suddenly, I was at the front door. I glanced back at Alice in panic, but found no sympathy in her eyes. I guess I was going to do this.

The doorbell rang again.

I took another scorching breath, swallowed, and slowly I reached for the door.

The first thing I noticed after opening it was that Jasper's scent was easier to tolerate when I was in his direct presence. It was as if his blood, instead of calling to the deepest part of me, leaving me thirsty and constantly yearning and unfulfilled, well, his scent merely enveloped me and took over and was, simply, everything.

The next thing I noticed was that Jasper had already started talking. No actually, not just talking. He was apologizing.

"Hi Edward, I'm so sorry. Did I ruin everything?" He looked sad but hopeful.

_Invite him in_, I heard Alice whisper. _Then talk_.

"Jasper, hi. Would you like to come in?" I offered.

He nodded and looked relieved. "Thanks. That would be great."

I ushered him, took his coat, and led the way into our living room. "Have a seat?"

He sat on the edge of Carlisle's favorite chair, and hesitantly began again. "Edward, I'm sorry."

"I'm actually not sure what it is you have to be sorry for," I replied. I swallowed in a vain attempt to ease the fire in my throat, and tried to focus on his words.

"For everything!" he responded. "For coming over unannounced. For not calling you the other day when I said that I would. For calling you so late when I was drunk the other night, and for everything I said when I was wasted that I don't remember now."

"Oh, well, it's okay that you came by today. And I was awake when you called that night, so that was fine. And while I was a little confused when you didn't call me the next day, and that you hung up abruptly in the first place, I don't—"

He cut me off. "I hung up on you? I was afraid of that. I didn't mean to." He looked upset. "I'm sorry. I... it was an accident. But you deserve better. I swear, I'm never drinking again."

"Jasper, it's really okay. And, I really, really don't." I replied. Deserved better, ha! His impression of me was so far off target that I didn't know where to begin. At least, I didn't know where to begin without using the word "vampire."

I looked up and found Jasper watching me and an awkwardness settled over the room.

Suddenly, Jasper stood. "Well, I guess I should be going. I just wanted to say that I was sorry for my behavior. I, uh, well, I'll see you around I guess."

"Oh. Sure. If you like. I'll just get your coat."

I was disappointed, but I couldn't blame him if he wanted to leave. So I stood as well. But apparently my response was not Alice-approved, because she hissed in reply. I heard her sharp command from the next room.

_Ask him to stay, you idiot!_

"Wait, Jasper. Are you sure you have to go? You're welcome to stay."

He paused and looked at me. "I wouldn't want to interrupt you."

"You're not. I was just playing a game with my siblings, but Carlisle—my father—took my place. So I'm not busy." I replied.

"Did you want go back to the game?" he asked. "I don't mind watching."

"Oh, no, that's okay." I thought it best to keep him far away from Emmett's sense of humor and Rosalie's annoyance at his presence. "We could play a different game though."

"Sure! What do you have?" he asked.

I led the way to a nearby closet where we stored our vast selection of board games.

"Wow. That's quite a collection!" He seemed impressed. "How about Battleship?"

I quickly agreed, and pulled the game off the shelf.

_Make sure he's comfortable. Offer him something to drink, _Alice suggested_. _

"Jasper, would you like something to drink?" I asked as we returned to the living room and unpacked the game.

"Uh, yes, please," he said.

I nodded. "What would you like? We have..." I paused. I had no idea what we had, if anything, in terms of human food in the kitchen. "Um... actually, let me just check what we have."

"That's okay. Just some water would be great." he replied.

Water. That was easy enough. Even I could manage that. Esme would be proud. "Sure. I'll be right back."

I went and filled up a mug with water for him, and returned to the room with it to find him sitting on one end of the couch with one of the Battleship game boards. I handed him the cup and picked up the other half of the game.

"Thanks!" he said.

"You're welcome," I replied as I watched him take a gulp of the water—and then promptly start choking, spitting out water in the process.

"Oh my god! What can I do? Are you okay? Do you need help? Let me get you a paper towel!" I rushed out of the room.

I returned a second later with paper towels, and started drying him off. Except I realized as I was patting his chest with the paper towel that he'd stopped coughing and was grinning at me.

I stopped what I was doing. "What?" I asked.

His grin widened. "I could take care of that. You don't need to dry me off."

"Oh." I frowned. Shit. If that bothered him, I was just glad that in my zeal I hadn't started with his pants instead of his shirt.

"Hey! Don't worry about it. Uh, can I have the paper towels so I can finish sopping up this water?"

I nodded. "Here you go."

He grinned again. "Thanks."

I stepped back and watched him finish drying off as best as he could.

"So, ummm, do you always drink really hot water?" he asked as he did so.

Translation: _Humans don't drink their water hot._

Several family members started chuckling and Alice reprimanded me as well. _Edward! What the hell were you thinking?_

Shit! I'd gotten him hot water because I thought he might still be cold from the outdoors, but apparently I'd made it too hot for him. But how was I supposed to know what was nice and hot and what was way too hot? Dammit! Or was he actually saying he preferred his water cold? I shuddered at the thought. I couldn't imagine drinking cold blood. Disgusting! I shuffled through the few faint human memories I had left. Had I ever drank cold beverages? I couldn't remember any. I thought I could vaguely recall drinking tea with my mother on one occasion, but that was hot as well. And Jasper had suggested coffee the other day, and I knew that was typically served hot... Perhaps I should go to one of the dining halls on campus sometime in the spring just to brush up on human eating habits.

I noticed Jasper was still smiling as he continued to look at me, waiting for my response.

I decided to answer as honestly as I was able. "No, actually I don't drink a lot of water. It prefer to drink other things." I paused. "I just thought that some hot water might warm you up after being outside, but now you're just all wet." I sighed. "Wait... was it too hot? Did you burn your throat?" Wouldn't that be fitting, that I would burn his throat.

"I'll be fine. It just caught be off guard, that's all."

I decided to get rid of the offensive mug of water and the paper towels as well. I was embarrassed by my mistake and hoped to get rid of the evidence as soon as possible. But as I was about to head out of the room to get rid of the items, Esme appeared in the doorway.

This wasn't part of the plan. She was supposed to be upstairs. But before I could worry too much, I caught her eye and she winked at me and whispered below her breath, "Leave everything to me." I mumbled my thanks. Clearly, I was out of my league.

"Hi dear! So nice to see you again!" She greeted Jasper.

"Hi Esme," he replied. "You too."

"Edward? Why don't I get everyone some snacks. Jasper, would you like something to drink? We have hot cocoa, tea, coffee, or, well, maybe you've had enough of the warm beverages for one day?" she laughed when I glared at her. "We also have some soda or juice?"

"Thanks so much Esme. I don't want you to go to any trouble."

"Oh, it's no trouble at all," she replied.

He looked at me. "I'll just have whatever Edward has."

Shit. Now what? I heard Alice giggle from the next room and Emmett's laughter from upstairs.

"Ummm, soda?" I told Esme, but as soon as I did so, I heard Carlisle sigh while my siblings laughed harder.

"I'll take care of it. Edward, why don't you go get Jasper some warm dry clothing he can borrow?"

I nodded and left the room before I could do any more damage.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Carlisle knocked on my door while I was in my bedroom decided what clothing to give to Jasper. "Can I give you some advice, son?" he asked. "Don't drink the soda. Trust me. Carbonation really doesn't agree with our systems."

"Thanks," I replied, grimacing. I picked up one of my favorite sweaters. If I liked it, maybe Jasper would like it too.

"You're doing fine," he said, patting my shoulder. I rolled my eyes and headed back downstairs.

I handed Jasper the sweater when I arrived back in the living room. I noticed that in my short absence, Esme had brought a bowl of pretzels into the room, as well as a few sodas. Jasper was kneeling in front of the fireplace, lighting a fire.

I cleared my throat to announce my presence in the room.

"Oh, hey, Edward. Esme asked me if I wanted to light a fire. Any excuse to play with matches, right?" he turned and grinned.

"Uh, right." Being highly flammable myself, I wasn't as excited about playing with matches as was. But if the warmth made him happy, I was all for a roaring fire. I approached and held out my sweater. "Will this be okay?"

He stood up and accepted it, thanking me, and pulled it over his head.

I nodded. "I'll be right back. I just want to help Esme."

I turned and headed toward the kitchen. Before I left the room though, I decided to ask Jasper if he needed anything else. But when I looked back at him, I noticed his eyes were closed. He had the sweater pulled up to his nose and he was breathing in deeply with a smile on his face.

I smiled. How ironic; he thought I smelled good.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

An hour later, we'd finished four games of Battleship, and I'd pretended to drink one Coke and eat three pretzels—the former having been emptied into a nearby vase and the latter ground into fine particles and now residing beneath a couch cushion. Esme had long since shooed Alice upstairs, giving us as much privacy as was possible with a house full of vampires. At one point, I'd even heard Rosalie and Emmett head out the second floor window to go hunting.

After the last game, I packed up the game and returned it to the closet. I joined Jasper on the couch, albeit sitting at the opposite end. The fire crackled nearby. And the heavy awkwardness that had been present earlier seemed to have vanished.

I'd forgotten how easy it could be to be with Jasper, provided I kept my all-consuming thirst in check. After all, we'd worked together all semester, and had a good time doing so. It seemed that only when we decided to get together outside of school that there was tension and uncertainty. Yet despite the rough start, it felt as though we'd made strides this afternoon in regaining the comfort we once had with each other.

Apparently I wasn't the only one who felt it.

"So, can I get your phone number?" Jasper asked.

I turned to him. "Don't you already have it?"

"I did, but I kind of broke my phone and had to get a new one. I lost your number in the process," he explained. "That's why I wasn't able to call you New Year's Day. The stores were closed for the holiday, so I had to wait to get a new one. I kept hoping you'd call again after I got the new phone, but you never did."

"So you came over," I said.

"Exactly," he replied. "I waited a few days for you to call, but you didn't. So I decided I had to come by to get in contact with you. We have all this free time over winter break and I didn't want to waste it. And, I really did want to apologize for calling you the other night. I was pretty drunk and I can only imagine how badly I probably embarrassed myself on the phone." I watched as color bloomed on his cheeks.

"Don't worry. You shouldn't feel embarrassed. You were very nice on the phone, if a bit confused at times. I was mostly concerned when you hung up so suddenly and then didn't answer the phone the next day. But knowing now that you broke it, everything makes more sense," I replied.

"Oh, I broke it alright. I dropped it in a very disgusting public bathroom. I'm almost thankful I was too drunk to remember it very clearly."

"You just dropped it? Well, I can probably fix it," I offered. Well, technically, I probably couldn't, but I'd bet Rosalie could. She was great at that kind of thing.

"Well, I didn't just drop it." He hesitated. "You have to remember I was very drunk. But as far as I can tell, my friends were ragging on me for being on the phone, so I went into the bathroom for some privacy, god knows why. And I guess I thought it would be quieter in a stall. And then, well, you know how it is when you've been drinking. When you have to go, you have to go."

I nodded because he seemed to expect me to know what he was talking about, when in truth, I had no idea. Luckily, he continued.

"So, yeah, suddenly I really had to, you know, pee, and I was already in the stall, so I think I tried to do both at once, and well, I dropped the phone into the toilet and... oh god, I can't believe I'm telling you this... I think I maybe even peed on it a bit."

His face was bright red and he looked positively mortified. But suddenly, Jasper's words during the phone call clicked into place in my head. I chuckled.

He looked at me questioningly.

"You were laughing, and you said, 'Well, Edward, I have to go, so I hafta to go.' " I explained, mimicking his drunken speech by slurring some of my words. "I didn't realize you meant that you had to go because you had to go to the bathroom. I thought you were just repeating yourself, because you did that a few times during the call. And if you dropped your phone into the toilet, that also explains why I heard a splash right before the phone went dead."

I was glad to have solved that mystery. Though now I was trying not to envision the scenario he had just described. He deserved more privacy than that. But Alice was right about one thing; humans did blame anything and everything on alcohol.

"You seem to remember a good deal more of the conversation than I do," he said quietly.

"It was New Year's Eve. You were drunk," I gently reminded him. But mostly, I'm just a vampire so I have perfect recall, I added to myself.

"I guess. So, despite the fact that I, um, peed while I was on the phone with you, can I get your number again?" he asked.

I nodded and rattled it off, so he could put it in his new phone.

"I'm going to assume that if you gave me your phone number, you won't object if I use it, right Edward? It will be okay with you if I call you?"

I nodded. "Yes." At this point, I felt I could handle a phone call—even an unplanned one.

"Good. I'll even try to be sober for the next one," he said.

"Jasper, really, it wasn't that bad." I tried to comfort him.

"Edward, I'm not saying that for your sake. I want to remember our calls."

"Oh." I didn't know what else to say. I ran my hand through my invariably messy hair.

He sighed. "Okay, well, I guess I really should be going now." He stood up.

"Alright. Well, thanks for coming by." I said, and headed toward the closet to get his coat.

"Thanks for inviting me in."

I went to hand him his coat, but he had his arms in the air and his head in his shirt as he tried to peel off the sweater I'd lent him. I got a brief glimpse of his abdomen as he did so. So different from my own, yet so very much the same. I decided I could contemplate the wonders of the human torso at a later point, and wondered if I should help Jasper peel off his extra layer of clothing. Static electricity was not being very kind to him, but I decided it was best if I didn't offer assistance. I could only imagine Emmett's comments if he found out I'd help Jasper undress even a little.

Selfishly, I wanted the sweater back so I could remember his scent, which was certain to be imbedded in the fabric by now. But I recalled that Esme would probably frown on that as inhospitable. So before he could get much further, I asked him if he just wanted to return the sweater next time he saw me.

He popped his head back through the neck of the sweater and looked grateful. "Thanks. That would be fantastic."

He took his coat and finished getting bundled up to face the winter weather.

We walked to the door. I turned to open it for him, when suddenly, Jasper hugged me. I took a deep breath, allowing his fiery scent to wash over me, as I felt him press against me. Even through the layers upon layers of clothing, I felt his pulse. And I was reminded of a time so very, very long ago when my own heart beat and blood coursed through my veins. It was as if his beating heart reactivated mine for the briefest of moments.

But as soon as it began, it was over, and Jasper had opened the front door, stepped outside, and waved goodbye. He drove away before I recognized what was happening.

And then I was once again cold, hard stone. Except now I knew what it felt like not to be.

_

* * *

_

_A/N: I firmly believe that RISK is the Best. Game. Ever. But I also feel strongly that Settlers of Catan is a close second. If you haven't ever played but you like strategy games, I highly recommend it. You'll be offering up three sheep for two bricks and some ore in no time. _

_I'm so excited to see how many of you fabulous readers have added alerts for this story and/or made it one of your favorites. I hope this means you're enjoying it! And extra thanks to all of those who have been leaving such kind reviews. Each and every one makes me as happy as Jasper snuggled up in an Edward-sweater. :)_


	5. Chapter 5: The pH of venom

**Said and done**

****

Chapter 5: The pH of venom

_A/N: Enjoy! _

_Stephenie Meyer owns everything you recognize. Rated M for mature themes and eventual slash. _

_Thanks for the fantastic reviews!_

_Thanks also to TwilightMundi for her betaing efforts on this and every other chapter._

_The song for this chapter is "Lasso" by Phoenix._

* * *

I stood motionless in the open doorway, staring at where Jasper's car had been parked in the driveway.

After a minute or two, Alice appeared at my back, and tucked herself against my body, weaseling her way underneath my arm, until she stood beside me with my arm wrapped around her.

After a pause she turned to look at me. "Carlisle has asked that we reconvene in a few minutes for a family meeting."

I sighed. "Am I in trouble?" I asked. After all, we couldn't have unexpected visitors just popping in any old time. Even if we could hear them coming from a mile away, the risk was too great.

"No," she said, clearly choosing her next words carefully. "You're not in trouble, but there are obviously some issues to discuss. It's really just a question of risk versus reward. Some of us naturally place more emphasis on the risk and others weigh the reward more heavily. But it will be okay once we talk."

I nodded though I was seriously unconvinced of her accuracy on the last point.

I followed Alice's gaze as she turned back toward the empty driveway again. Her eyes sought out the now empty parking space. Suddenly, she poked me in the ribs. "And, Edward, seriously. Next time we go back to high school, you really have to pay more attention while the kids eat lunch instead of constantly staring at the cracks in the ceiling."

"Alice, please…" I whined.

"No, you please. You're a vampire for god's sake. How you have so little clue about what goes on around you sometimes is absolutely amazing."

"I pay attention! Remember that one time in science class with the wolf? None of the rest of you noticed!" I contested hotly. Alice questioning my skills? That was so wrong.

"Right," she shot back, jabbing me again in my side. "You'll remember that, but you'll turn around and drink a soda the next minute. You are hopeless…"

I started to protest, but she interrupted. "Maybe Carlisle can come up with a fix for your head after the meeting," she said, grinning as she grabbed my arm and started tugging me in the direction of the dining room.

When we reached the customary meeting spot, Carlisle and Esme were already seated next to each other at the table. Rosalie and Emmett were not yet present, having been running around outside for the last hour or so. But I heard Emmett laughing as they approached the house so I knew they'd be joining us momentarily. It sounded like at least Emmett was in a good mood, but who was I kidding? He was usually in a good mood. He wasn't the one I was worried about.

I sat down and waited for the rest of my family.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

One hour and one shattered piece of furniture later, several decisions had been reached. For one thing, we had determined that it wasn't necessary to pick up and move immediately, even though a human had decided to simply drop by unannounced and could do so again at any time. Mostly this was because Jasper seemed to have no idea what we were. Plus, we all now knew the sound of his car and his scent, so we would have plenty of notice in the event that he came by again and we needed to either act human, or pretend not to be home.

We also decided I should keep Jasper's visits to a minimum while the entire family was home together so as not to inconvenience my family members. I began to protest this, until I recognized that I was putting a silly "infatuation" (Rosalie's word, not mine) ahead of my family. Plus, my siblings and I would only be gathered together for another two weeks before everyone returned to their various campuses.

I was also to discourage further unannounced visits as gracefully as possible.

And of course, I reaffirmed that I had no plan to let Jasper in on our identity.

In exchange, it was recognized that, at least for now, I could continue to see my friend when the opportunity arose. This was either inevitable, wonderful, a learning experience, an unnecessary risk, or fucking hilarious, depending on who you asked.

When it was all over, Carlisle asked to speak with me privately in his office. I quickly agreed, happy to put off additional conversations with my siblings.

Once we sitting together in his office with the door shut, he turned to me. "So, Edward. I thought you might have some questions for me."

"Questions?" I asked.

"Yes. Questions," he added, as if that somehow explained everything.

"Questions," I murmured, somewhat puzzled. "About what exactly?" I finally asked.

He looked at me for a moment before replying. "About Jasper." He hesitated, and looked slightly uncomfortable. "Anatomically. About how things work, perhaps."

I looked at him. "Anatomical questions about Jasper?" What questions did Carlisle think I would have about his—

"Oh!" I realized I certainly did have a question. "I do have one."

Carlisle nodded, looking almost relieved. "Go ahead."

"Well, I've noticed quite a few times that Jasper's heart has sounded really erratic. It speeds up sometimes for no good reason and I think it even skips a beat once in a while, and I just wondered if you noticed. Do you think that it is anything to be concerned about?" I asked. I had been worrying about this for days now.

But Carlisle just looked at me blankly.

"Is that not what you meant?" I asked, growing uncomfortable.

I swear I heard him sigh.

"No, that's fine, Edward. If that's what you want to know," he eventually replied.

I nodded, eager to hear that Jasper's condition wasn't something dangerous to him.

"Okay, well then, the answer is yes, I noticed his heartbeat was a bit irregular at times, but under the circumstances, that is certainly nothing to worry about. His heart sounds nice and strong."

"Oh, good." I was immediately relieved. "But then why...?"

"Well, there are many reasons. Fear can cause such a reaction, for example."

"I wondered if that was it. I suppose that's a good reaction for him to have when I'm around." I knew I should be pleased about this, though deep down I was definitely not. I wished he had no need to fear me, that I could cease to be the monster that warranted such a reaction.

"Well, Edward, I suspect it isn't fear in Jasper's case. I believe it is because he is attracted to you," Carlisle explained.

"Oh." It made sense. We were supposed to be attractive to our prey.

"So... speaking of attraction, was there anything else you wanted to discuss?" he asked as he leaned back in his chair.

"Nothing that I can think of," I replied. "Why?"

"Well, son, I can smell Jasper on you, so I thought perhaps a question might have... arisen... Perhaps there's something that ...came up... and you might want to know how things work."

I began to shake my head, unsure about what Carlisle was going on about when a thought stopped me. I decided to go for it. "Uh, well, I did sort of have one other question for you, but it's a bit embarrassing. I was wondering if... well, when you work closely with humans, does it affect you? I don't mean the temptation of their blood, exactly. But, well, when Jasper pressed against me earlier when he hugged me goodbye, I sort of felt the venom sort of flow through my body. It was almost like his heart caused it to pulse. I wondered if that happened to you as well..." I trailed off.

"Well, Edward, to be frank, Esme is the only one who causes my venom to... flow through my body, so to speak," he replied smiling gently. "And it isn't because her heart beats."

"Stop! Stop. That's not exactly what I meant," I grimaced. "I mean, when you work on your patients, when you touch them, can you sort of feel their heart beat in you? I know, that sounds crazy."

He looked thoughtful. "No, actually, I don't think I've experienced the reaction you seem to be describing. Are you sure it is his heart that caused your venom to flow, because with Esm—"

"Quite sure," I replied, eager to cut him off before he finished his sentence.

"Well, then, I think that this is something new, and I would love for you to let me know if you experience it again. I wonder... well, we'll just give this time. But please do tell me if happens in the future. I'm curious to hear more."

I agreed, disappointed to have no explanation for my experience. It was unusual to stump Carlisle.

"Alright, well, if you ever have any other questions, about anything, don't hesitate to ask. After all, I'm a doctor, not just your dad," he chuckled nervously before changing the subject. "Now, why don't you head downstairs? Rosalie is prepared to forgive you if you allow Emmett to show you what happens when you drink a Coke."

I stood, and headed to leave, but before I made it fully out the door, he stopped me.

"How recently have you hunted?" he asked, looking at my eyes, trying to gauge their color.

"A couple of days," I replied. "Why?"

He sighed. "Just do Esme a favor and take the experiment outside onto the porch, just in case."

I rolled my eyes and headed for the stairs. As I did so, I heard him murmur, "Kids" under his breath, before sighing again.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

I stood out front of our house the next day with my siblings. Emmett had agreed to wait until morning to conduct their experiment. "Better lighting," he'd said, which was puzzling, but I chose not to question him. Rosalie sat nearby on a large rock, attempting to appear bored. Emmett was running around in circles, far too excited for whatever was about to happen. Alice, meanwhile, was attempting to give me a science lesson.

"Okay, Edward, do you remember in science class when the teacher created a fake volcano that would bubble because of the vinegar?" she said.

I assume she meant her question to be rhetorical, but I couldn't resist replying. "No, I do not. I have repeated high school more than enough times, but the last time I took a third grade science class I was human, so, no, I don't remember."

"Ugh, whatever Edward. It's in the fourth grade curriculum here in Washington, but never mind. Just imagine a paper mache volcano."

"Fine. I'm picturing it."

"Okay. That's what is about to happen," she said, as if that explained everything. I heard Emmett giggling in the background.

"I'm going to blow a few bubbles? Forget it, this is dumb. I'm not doing it," I decided.

"No, Edward, you're not going to blow a few bubbles. If we wanted to see that, we'd make you chew gum. Do I have to explain everything?" She must have decided that she did, in fact, have to explain a bit more, so she quickly continued on. "Okay, take a fake volcano and put a tablespoon of baking soda in the center. Then, pour in some vinegar. What would happen?"

"It fizzes." I replied. _Duh._

"Right," she said. "That's what is about to happen."

I looked at her, frowning. I still wasn't sure what she was talking about. After all, she wasn't asking me to eat baking soda and wash it down with a swig of vinegar. And as far as I knew, those weren't ingredients in Coca-cola. I looked at Rosalie for help. She was staring at the ground, trying to suppress a smile.

"Whatever. Just give me the soda." I demanded. Emmett instantly appeared by my side and popped open the can he carried.

"Enjoy. It does a body good," he said as he handed it to me.

"Emmett, that's milk," I pointed out before downing the disgusting liquid.

"I know," he grinned. "I just like saying it."

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, well anyway, that was gross, but I don't see what the big dea—"

"Okay, now Edward, what is the pH of baking soda?" Alice interrupted.

"Sodium bicarbonate is 8.2," I answered confidently. Everyone knew that.

"And vinegar?" she asked.

"2.4," I replied. I noted that my stomach began to feel somewhat uncomfortable, but it was definitely no big deal.

"Exactly," Alice said. "How about the pH of that Coke you just drank?"

"2.5, if I remember correctly," I said, noting a certain pressure that seemed to be building in my abdomen.

"You do," Alice confirmed. "And then one more question." She paused dramatically. Emmett was practically shaking with glee. Rosalie's eyes were lit up and she'd gotten closer to the rest of us, watching intently.

"What is the pH of our venom?" Alice asked.

I burped loudly, feeling quite bloated, as if I had just drunk far too much blood. "Uh, about 8.3," I croaked as I suddenly understood.

"Bingo," said Alice.

I burped again, loudly, much to Emmett's delight. "Keep 'em coming, Eddie!" he grinned.

I started to tell him to shove off when I felt my body try to regurgitating the offensive drink.

I saw Emmett whip out a camera. Like he wouldn't remember this perfectly without needing to document it fully.

But no, I wasn't regurgitating. What the hell was happening to me? Oh, my god. Foam, freaking foamy coke-tasting bubbles started spewing out of my mouth. Fucking hell. I was overflowing. I bent over, trying not to gag as the foam poured out of my mouth.

I literally was covering the grass in front of me. I took a step back so I wouldn't be stepping in it. This was absolutely disgusting. I tried not to choke. More and more froth kept gushing out of me. I heard Rosalie actually clapping as she watched. Even Alice was cracking up, and she usually frowned on "gross." And then there was Emmett, snapping away on his camera. So that's why he needed light, I realized.

The hell with this. I decided I'd had enough. I shut my mouth and tried to hold it back.

"Oh, Edward, don't try. It'll just make it worse," advised Alice.

I glared at her and tried to wipe the drool off my mouth with my sleeve. I quickly realized that I wasn't going to be able to keep my mouth shut very long. Whatever. I at least didn't have to sit there spewing in front of them. I held my head high and started to walk away. I tried to maintain dignity, but I soon realized I had better hurry. I picked up my pace.

"What's the matter, Edward?" Rosalie taunted.

"Hey, man, come back!" Emmett called.

I started to run. With any luck I could make it around the corner of the house before I had to open my mouth again. Hurry, Edward. Hurry. Hurry or there's no way you're going to make it. I put my hand over my mouth to hold it closed.

"Edward, not in Esme's flowers, please!" I heard Carlisle call from inside the house.

Instinctively, I opened my mouth to call back that I wouldn't ruin the flowerbed. Unfortunately, that was exactly the wrong move, because I suddenly exploded when I relaxed my lips the slightest bit. Gas and bubbles and foamy liquid once again erupted from my mouth.

I gave in. I had no choice. I bent over and let it pour out of me onto the grass, pleading against science for it to all be over soon.

Emmett came up behind me and patted me on my back. "So, how do you like Coke, Edward?"

I glared at his big grin and decided this was war. Sure, Carlisle had said not to froth on the flowers, but he hadn't indicated I shouldn't spew all over my sibling. I looked at him, and narrowed my eyes. Yes, that was exactly what I should do.

Emmett must have seen the look in my eyes, because he instantly took off running toward the woods. I took off after him, chasing him for miles, tossing handfuls of fresh froth at him whenever I got close enough, until mercifully, the chemical reaction in my stomach eased approximately 15 miles from home.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Hours later, after showering twice and convincing Esme I didn't need to hose down the lawn because it was going to rain that afternoon, I stormed up to Carlisle's office. "Okay, Carlisle. Now I have questions."

He looked up. "Go ahead."

"Why did you let them do that to me? Shouldn't you have warned me? That was the most disgusting thing, and it was not exactly painless either you know," I demanded.

"Edward, are you worse for wear?" he asked.

"No," I replied. "But—"

"Has Rosalie forgiven you?" he interrupted.

"Yes," I admitted.

He looked at me pointedly.

"Fine. Then why did you ask me when I had last hunted?" I asked hotly.

"What's the pH of blood?" he countered calmly.

"What is this? Freaking science class?" I shot back.

He raised his eyebrow at me in response.

"Right. Sorry." I knew that I had no cause to be angry with Carlisle. "Anyway, it's just over 7," I said, answering his original question.

"Exactly," he nodded. "If you had hunted extremely recently or drunk a particularly large quantity, it would have served to mitigate the reaction slightly because the blood is more neutral than your venom. The chemical reaction would not have been as violent."

"Oh."

"Yes, Coke is the worst because it is so acidic. And of course, even if it were not, the carbonation is highly unpleasant and makes things that much worse."

I sighed. "Thanks."

"Anytime," he chuckled, as I left his office.

As I passed by the top of the steps on the way to my room, I overheard whispers coming from downstairs.

"Alright you guys, take it easy on Edward for a bit, okay? He's going through a lot." That was Esme. Of course I knew she was talking about me. She was always worrying about me.

"That's true," I heard Alice reply in a hushed voice as I continued to my room. "He clearly doesn't understand yet what's going on with Jasper, and we did make him drink that Coke. Plus, Carlisle tried to have the sex talk with him yesterday. I can only imagine how well that went."

"Well," Esme said, "Carlisle has felt it appropriate to have that conversation with each of you when it becomes time."

I slammed my door before I heard any more. That's what Carlisle had been going on about? For crying out loud! Did everyone think I was twelve?

_

* * *

_

_A/N: Do you want to know what happened "that one time in science class with the wolf"? Of course you do. _

_A few years back, Alice, Edward, Emmett, and Rosalie were sitting in a high school biology classroom, listening to a lecture on species indigenous to the Pacific Northwest. _

_Of course they weren't listening very closely. Rosalie was recalling the way the high school boys had admired her during gym after she'd changed into her bathing suit for swimming class earlier that day. Emmett was also thinking of the way Rosalie had looked in her bathing suit during gym class. Alice was ticked about having the same class later that afternoon, because of the way she'd smell like chlorine the rest of the day, thereby ruining her clothing that she probably wouldn't have worn again anyway. And Edward was as he usually spent biology class, staring at the cracks in the ceiling above the stuffed raccoon on the windowsill near the teacher's desk, smirking about the fact that the teacher had labeled it as an Eastern raccoon, while it was clearly an Upper Mississippi Valley raccoon._

_At a certain point the biology teacher decided to ask the students to describe various animals they'd seen that they believed to be local to the area. He began by calling on Alice, startling her slightly. After thinking for a half-second (an unusually lengthy amount of time for a vampire), she began describing an actual encounter she'd had with a beautiful female Cascade Mountain Wolf that she'd gotten close to while hiking (read: hunting) many years back. _

_Edward, recognizing that Alice was indeed describing a sub-species that had become extinct 40-some odd years ago, decided to intervene on the off-chance that the teacher's knowledge of North American wolves was more complete than his understanding of North American raccoons. (It was not.) _

_Forced to move quickly, Edward's plan was not particularly well-thought out. He simply chucked his eraser at the raccoon on the windowsill with the correct force and angle so that the former animal was sent crashing to the floor and sliding across the room until it stopped somewhere underneath the teacher's desk. At that point, Edward shrieked and jumped out of his seat and cried, "It's alive!" While the confused teacher turned to the normally silent Cullen, Emmett (not wanting to miss out on the fun, but not necessarily interested in shrieking and climbing onto his desk as Edward was), whipped his own eraser at the light switch by the door leaving the room in sudden darkness, at which point several girls in the class started shrieking along with Edward. Edward shot a near-silent thank you to his brother and passed a note to Alice explaining her mistake while the rest of the students freaked out in the darkened classroom._

_By the time the teacher turned the lights back on moments later, the vast majority of the class was in total chaos. Edward, however, was back in his seat, once again staring at the crack in the ceiling, counting down the seconds left before the end of the school day in an ancient Mayan dialect, with a look of abject boredom written across his features._


	6. Chapter 6: In situ

**Said and done**

**Chapter 6: **_**In situ**_

_A/N: Yay for chapters written at 35,000ft on cross-country flights. I wonder how many readers' homes I flew over?_

_Thanks to TwilightMundi for her careful edits. I heart her._

_Stephenie Meyer owns everything you recognize. Rated M for mature themes and eventual slash. _

_

* * *

_

_I slammed my door before I heard any more. That's what Carlisle had been going on about? For crying out loud! Did everyone think I was twelve?_

I stood fuming in my bedroom.

I'd show them. All of 'em. My family members thought I was all naive and innocent. Whatever. They could think what they wanted. I'd prove them wrong. They wanted to make fun of me for being cautious about Jasper? They thought they needed to teach me about the birds and the bees? Seriously? Do not even go there. I was a vampire. I'd been around. I mean, I hadn't been around but I'd lived long enough and had good ears. I knew what was up. Yeah. Whatever. I'd show them. Stupid Emmett with his stupid grin and know-it-all Rosalie acting all superior, and Alice thinking I needed help all the time and Esme telling everyone to take it easy on me like I was a child, and Carlisle going all parent on me? Seriously? Come on! Well, like I said, whatever. I'd show 'em.

And I knew just how to do it.

"Take that!" I thought as I hit "Send" on my phone.

"What was that, dear?" I heard Esme call from downstairs.

"Nothing!" I called back. Oops. I hadn't realized I'd said that last bit aloud.

I looked at my phone. The little arrow signal indicated it was sending my text message. To Jasper. Oh, shit... what had I just done? Had I just texted him to get back at my family? Oh no. I had. And just to prove a point. How stupid could I be? Crap. What was I going to do now? Oh, fu—

Suddenly my phone chirped. I looked at it.

_Hey 2u2_

Ha! Jasper texted back! Sweet! I quickly flew down the stairs and was met with the curious gazes of my family members when I dashed into the living room where they were gathered around a movie.

"You think I'm scared of him? Well, I showed you. I sent him..." I paused dramatically. "A text!" I displayed the screen proudly. "Check. It. Out. See? I texted him. And, watch this everyone." I paused again. "I'm about to do it again! And, no, Alice, I don't need any help!"

I quickly formulated a reply and typed it in as they stared at me. Then, with flourish, I hit "Send" another time.

I looked up at their stunned faces. "What? You don't believe me?" I asked them. "See? I don't need you all being all know-it-all, you know? I'm just fine. I don't need your help or your birds and bees or your superiority. I'm just fine, thanks. I'm all good. I'm so good that I'm great. I'm great!"

The words kept pouring out as I started to wonder why Jasper hadn't yet texted me back again. What was he waiting for? Didn't he like me? Did I say something wrong? Oh, shit, what should I do now? I frowned and looked at the phone. Come on, Jasper. My pride was at stake here! Why wasn't he replying? Oh no! What had I done?

I looked up, panicked. "Alice? Help me. Why isn't he texting me back?" I whined.

She raised an eyebrow. "I can't imagine why, Edward. Clearly, you're such a catch."

Just then, my phone chirped again. Oh, thank god. I turned back to the phone.

_I'm good, u?_

I quickly typed back, "I am quite well. Thank you for asking." But before I hit send, I decided to change the "for" to a "4." I wanted him to know how cool I was. Much better. I hit "Send" again.

I looked up at my family, grinning. I was texting with Jasper!

I was deciding to whom I'd show his latest text when Emmett spoke. "Dude, Edward, that's great that you can text. But seriously, you're blocking the TV. Can you please move? This is the best part."

I huffed and took a step to my right.

"Edward, dear, now you're blocking Rosalie," Esme said.

"Ugh, whatever. You're all just jealous!" I stomped back up stairs to my room to await Jasper's next message. I refused to let them bother me. Nothing could spoil my mood. I was texting with Jasper!

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

A few minutes later I calmly returned to the family room and sat beside Emmett. I tried to focus on the movie they were all watching. It was difficult. Not only had we watched _Lord of the Rings: Return of the King_ dozens of times, but I was admittedly a bit out of sorts from my conversation with Jasper. However, I tried to keep myself in check. I didn't want my family members to catch on to my anxiety. It wouldn't help me maintain the mature, collected persona I was trying to convey. I didn't want to give them any further ammunition. So I kept my mouth shut and my eyes on the screen as best as I was able.

So I was surprised when Alice paused the movie less than three minutes later and turned to me.

"Okay, spill. You're fidgeting more than a human. So let's hear it," she said. Esme nodded in agreement.

"Well, it's no big deal really." I tried to downplay the conversation. "We just texted for a few minutes, and..." I paused for effect, as well as to calm myself so that my voice would sound confident and steady when I said my next words. "And we're going to the movies tomorrow."

Alice squealed at a pitch I'm relatively certain was not within the range of human hearing before reaching over and giving me a hug.

"It's really no big deal," I told her, although for some reason I was having trouble suppressing a grin.

"We'll have to go shopping in the morning. You need something new to wear. We can take a quick trip to Port Angeles, I suppose. We don't really have time to go farther. Too bad. You need to look fantastic for your date!" Alice said excitedly.

I quickly stopped her. "No, Alice. First of all, this isn't a date. And second, my current clothing is fine."

She looked at me horrified, so I quickly tried to make amends. "You can help me pick out a shirt if you want," I offered.

Apparently this was not an acceptable alternative, because she continued to look dismayed. "We'll come back to the clothing issue. Don't think that conversation's over!" she threatened. "But why are you so certain it's not a date?"

"Because he said so," I answered confidently.

"What were his exact words?" her eyes narrowed as she demanded to know.

"Well, he asked what I was doing and I said I was about to watch a movie with you and he said that maybe he and I could watch a movie sometime. And I said okay, and he said how about tomorrow and I said okay."

"I don't exactly understand why you think that it isn't a date, Edward," Alice said.

"Well, I guess you had to be there. Trust me. I could tell. It's not a date." I explained.

"Exactly how much additional context could there be? It was a conversation entirely via text messages, right? I didn't hear you talking to him on the phone at any point," Alice pointed out.

I thought for a moment. Could she be right? Had I agreed to go on a date? I didn't want a date. I just wanted to see Jasper. What was so hard to understand about that? Wait, did Jasper think it was a date?

"$20 says he tries to hold your hand." Emmett chimed in, interrupting my thoughts.

"Don't break it when you do," Rosalie added.

I ignored them and headed back to my room. I needed to think about what Alice said. After all, what was a date anyway? What was the difference between Jasper and me going to the movies and a date? Would I need to act or dress differently? Did Jasper think it was a date? Did Jasper think I thought it was a date? Did he think I thought he thought it was a date? Would we need to discuss whether it was? What if it was? And why did my family members seem to think it was okay if it was?

There was just so much to consider. And I had less than 24 hours to do so before I was supposed to meet Jasper the next evening.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

We agreed to meet at the theater at 7 p.m.

Unfortunately, it was only 3 p.m. and I was already showered, dressed, and ready to go.

Luckily, vampires have the ability to stand completely still for very lengthy periods of time. So as not to wrinkle my Alice-approved clothing or cause my hair to revert further to its natural disarray, I put this natural talent to good use from 3:00–5:17 p.m., at which point I decided it was time to leave for the theater. I didn't want to be late.

Even at human speeds the distance between my house and the movie theater took no more than 53 minutes. This meant that I arrived even more quickly, and thus was parked and standing outside the theater by 5:57 p.m.

So I would have to wait for an hour. No big deal. Time was one thing of which I had plenty.

I grabbed my iPhone and started researching the movies playing at the theater. And then I looked at reviews—both critic and otherwise, of course. I viewed trailers and examined the directors' past works and then those of the actors and actresses staring in the films. There was nothing worse than bad acting. Then I listened to samples of the music score and viewed box office sales. And then, after I assigned each of these factors various weights, I multiplied them by the number of minutes in the movie plus points for international accolades and then divided that by the film's rating plus the number of errors in the film's plot.

Based on these calculations I determined that we should see… _The Last Song._

Wait. That couldn't be correct. I reviewed my math and quickly discovered I had forgotten to add the negative sign to the acting score for that one. My goodness, mathematical mistakes! I was more nervous than I thought about this whole evening. I shook my head, took a breath to calm myself down and began to redo the calculations in my head. According to my formula, Jasper and I should see... _Date Night._

Well, wouldn't Alice just love that.

In the end I just decided to just let Jasper choose. Whatever he wanted was fine with me—even if I had to listen to Miley for two solid hours. I shuddered at the thought.

I glanced at my watch. 6:04 p.m. Now what?

I looked around and watched people entering and exiting the theater. I didn't want to make any silly mistakes this evening, so I observed them carefully.

I then decided to rehearse what I would say to Jasper when he arrived.

Hello, I said under my breath.  
_Nope, too formal. I decided to try another._

Hi!  
_Hmm… That was okay, I suppose, but I knew I could do better._

Howdy, pardner.  
_Maybe, but he was from Texas. He'd probably realize my accent was phony._

Yo, wassup?  
_Yeah, right. I'd never pull that off._

Hey.  
_There, that was pretty good—_

"Hi to you too," some teenager giggled, interrupting my thoughts as she walked past me.

I glanced up in time to see the girl wink at me and giggle again before ducking into the theater with equally-underclothed girlfriends. I rolled my eyes.

I then spent a few minutes debating whether to offer to purchase popcorn for Jasper once we were inside. I wondered if it would bring more or less attention to the fact that I would not be partaking myself. I decided I'd have to play that one by ear depending on what Jasper smelled like. If his blood sugar seemed low, I'd offer. But then, if it seemed he'd eaten recently, it was probably best not to even bring it up.

I checked my watch again. 6:13 p.m. Hmm, maybe I shouldn't have arrived quite so early.

But just when I was debating whether or not to just go sit in the car and listen to some music, I heard a vehicle that sounded familiar. I listened harder. Yes, it was still quite far off, but the sound shot straight through me. Jasper!

I breathed in deeply, searching for his scent in the air. He was still too far away, but he wouldn't be for long. And what was he doing here so early anyway? There was a full 45 minutes to go before we were supposed to meet!

A minute later I could both hear and smell him as his vehicle approached the theater. And at 6:17 p.m. I watched him pull his car into the lot and park a few rows away from my Volvo.

After a few moments, he emerged from his car. Suddenly, the full force of his heady scent invaded my nostrils. Sweet mother of all things holy! I quickly recalled every reason why it was unwise for me to sit in close proximity to him in the darkness for the next few hours. I pinched my nose to block the scent. This was so wrong, this risk. I couldn't do this to him. A movie! I barked out a laugh. It seemed so innocent until I decided to indulge in a little snack of my own during the film. Even if he didn't know it, he shouldn't be here with me. It was wrong. I had to leave. Immediately.

I started walking as quickly as I dared around the corner of the theater in the opposite direction of Jasper. I'd leave my car and come back for it later, I decided. If I could just get out of the parking lot lights and around the side of the building, I'd be in the clear.

I had no such luck. He must have recognized my retreating form.

"Edward?" I heard him ask from across the parking lot, confusion evident in his voice.

I didn't stop. It was better this way.

"Edward?" Again, I heard Jasper call to me. I also heard his footsteps pick up their pace. He was running to catch up to me.

I moved faster.

He came to a stop a few steps later. He must have realized he couldn't outrun—

"Edward. Please." He spoke the words quietly this time. "Please."

The hurt evident in his voice stopped me dead in my tracks.

"Please," he said again.

I turned to look at him.

His eyes looked so disappointed. Oh, I hadn't meant to hurt him. I never wanted to hurt Jasper.

Oh, Jasper. I never meant to hurt you. I was trying to protect you. Please don't be sad. I willed him to understand.

He took a step towards me, cautiously. Then another. We were away from the crowds and out of the bright parking lot lights. I looked at the ground, debating whether to flee.

"Edward, please. Look at me," he said as he moved steadily closer.

I focused on the sound of his voice, letting it ground me to the pavement so I didn't bolt in the opposite direction. Keep talking, Jasper.

"Would you rather not see a movie?" he asked gently as he approached. "We can go somewhere else. I don't mind."

A slightly whiny, strangled sound I would later recall as horribly embarrassing emerged from my throat.

"Okay, let's do that then," he said, as though I hadn't just been completely incomprehensible. He was now standing mere feet from me.

He reached out his hand in my direction. The moonlight lit up the side of his face and neck, as well as his exposed and pulsing wrist.

And in that moment, I gave myself over to my long-suppressed instinct, ignoring his outstretched arm, and opting instead to launch myself at him. I saw his eyes widen in surprise as I threw myself into his arms and screwed my eyes shut and buried my face in his shoulder. After a half-second I felt him relax as he wrapped his arms around me in a hug. I didn't think, I just felt. I felt his heart beat between us, his arms pulling me close, and luxuriated in his breath washing over me, calming me.

After a minute, I felt him take a deep breath. "Are you ready to go see a movie now?" he asked quietly, his mouth brushing the side of my head.

I nodded into his shoulder.

"Okay, then. Let's go," he suggested, loosening his arms from me.

I stepped back, looked up at him, and nodded. "Okay."

"Okay," he said, smiling happily. And suddenly, he winked at me before grabbing my arm and leading me to the front of the movie theater to purchase our tickets.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Once seated inside the theater, the evening went decidedly more smoothly. In other words, at no point did I have an overwhelming urge to sprint from the theater in the direction of the most remote sections of Canada. And for the most part Jasper seemed to enjoy watching the movie, and I enjoyed watching him enjoy it. I also liked it when he rested his warm arm lightly against mine, and I smiled to myself when he elbowed me when he thought something was particularly funny. And it was nice when he just turned and grinned at me for seemingly no reason whatsoever.

He was so funny to be with and I liked that he was happy. Was that so wrong? No, I decided, as long as I behaved myself, it was not. There was nothing wrong with spending time with Jasper. The only thing wrong was that I was a vampire, but that could hardly be helped. I simply had to squash that part of my being to enjoy his company. It was well worth it, I decided.

Was it also possible that I'd spent the past 90 or so years in classrooms sitting in close proximity to humans in order to prepare for this very moment? It seemed unlikely that my existence was so predestined, yet sitting through high school and college so many times may not have been as pointless as I'd once thought, if it made my current friendship with Jasper a possibility.

Whether I had 14 repetitions of high school to thank for it or not, really the only tricky moment during the movie occurred approximately 2/3 of the way through when Jasper took off his jacket and offered it to me.

"Here," he had whispered. "You're freezing."

I thought about protesting. After all, his jacket was hardly going to fix that problem. But I quickly realized that I'd be happy to wear his jacket for awhile. It seemed a fair trade since he still had my favorite sweater, I reasoned. So I whispered a thank you, donned the extra layer, and found myself smiling through the remainder of the movie.

When it was over, I returned his jacket to him, and we walked side-by-side out to the parking lot.

My mind started racing as we hit the theater exit. Now what? Should I say goodbye? Or should I suggest something further for the evening? I didn't necessarily want to say goodbye just yet, and it wasn't like I needed to get to bed, but I wasn't sure how early Jasper typically went to sleep. But what could I suggest that he would enjoy?

I felt myself tense up as my brain shifted into overdrive as we approached our cars, trying to figure out what to do, or say, next. I wished I had researched some post-movie possibilities prior to the film. I started mentally sifting through lists of local business names for some ideas. However, I had only gotten through the letter F when Jasper spoke.

"So it's still pretty early," he commented.

"Mmmhmm," I replied as I started moving more quickly through the alphabet in search of an activity since it appeared Jasper wasn't quite ready to go home yet either.

"Yep. Definitely still early," he said. I nodded in response.

"Lots of time left in the evening," he commented again.

"Yes," I agreed. Almost done, just W–Z to finish...

"Well, I guess I had better be going," Jasper said suddenly.

I looked up. "Wait. Why?" I asked, disappointed.

"Well, because by the time you ask me if I want to hang out anymore tonight, it is going to be very late," Jasper said pointedly.

"Oh." I didn't have an excuse. I guess I wasn't fast enough. I really should have planned ahead better. Stupid, Edward, I chided myself.

"See, the thing is, Edward, I want to spend time with you, but I haven't the slightest idea most of the time if you would like that. You're sort of, no, actually, you're very hot and cold," he explained. "It's hard to make sense of sometimes."

I frowned and looked at the ground. I didn't mean to confuse him. But this was all so new to me. I wished I could just behave normally, but I wasn't sure how. I thought about how to justify my apparently erratic behavior.

"Argh! I wish sometimes you would just say what you're thinking!" he exclaimed.

I looked up. "You want to know what I'm thinking?" I asked.

"Yes, for once. Please!" he said with a sharp laugh.

"Okay, well, I'm thinking that I'm sorry I didn't think ahead far enough to plan something for us to do after the movie that you might enjoy. And I am thinking that I don't want you to think that I'm hot and cold. And also you should know that I pretty much want to hang out with you whenever possible, but that doesn't mean doing so is completely comfortable for me either..." I trailed off.

"Well, that's a good to know at least. After all, you practically ran from me when I arrived earlier. How was I supposed to know that meant you like spending time with me?" he smiled.

"I, uh, well... I don't know," I admitted.

"It's okay. We'll figure this out," he said. "Just please keep talking to me, okay?"

I nodded. "As much as I can," I agreed. After all, some things weren't mine to say. But I could try.

"Great, and for the record, I really don't care very much what we do, as long as I get to see you in the process." He blushed and continued, "And, uh, don't think that I didn't appreciate your hug earlier." He paused. "If I get a hug out of it, you can freak out anytime," he grinned.

I started to protest but he clamped his hand over my mouth and shook his head. Of course, it felt light as a feather to me, but I understood his intent. "Trust me, that is one memory I will treasure for a long, long time," he laughed. "Don't ruin it for me."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes at him though I could admit I must have been absolutely ridiculous looking.

After a moment he removed his hand.

"You know, for someone who just insisted I start talking, you were pretty quick to shut me up just then," I pointed out.

It was his turn to roll his eyes. "Okay, okay, enough out of you," he said sternly. "Now, go get in your car and follow me. We're going to this little diner a mile or so from here. And even if you won't eat in front of me, which I suspect will be the case, I plan on having at least once slice of their fantastic blueberry pie in front of you. So get moving!"

He gave me a mock shove in the direction of my car, and quickly got into his. I shook my head. He was too much. And also, just right.

_

* * *

__A/N: Glad everyone seems to like the story and my goofy author's notes. ;)_

_This chapter is inspired by "_Animal_" by Neon Trees. (And Neon Trees just happens to be playing with Mute Math and 30 Seconds to Mars tomorrow night in Boston. I'm wicked excited!)_

_Anyway, go listen to this song if you don't know it already, and go look up the lyrics as well. (I've included only an excerpt here.) (Link to the music is on my profile page.) _

_**Animal, by Neon Trees**_

_Here we go again, I kinda wanna be more then friends.  
__So take it easy on me, I'm afraid you're never satisfied.  
__No I won't sleep tonight_

_Oh oh, I want some more,  
__Oh oh, what are you waiting for?  
__Take a bite of my heart tonight._

_Here we are again, I feel the chemicals kicking in.  
__It's getting heavy and I want run and hide, I want to run and hide._

_Oh oh, here we go again,  
__Say goodbye to my heart tonight._


	7. Chapter 7: Tied up with a bow

**Said and done**

**Chapter 7: Tied up with a bow **

_A/N: Gah! I love your reviews! They made me grin and giggle and jump up and down in excitement. So thank you, thank you, thank you! _

_The song for this chapter is Coldplay's 'Til Kingdom Come: _www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=yo49REpQCwA_ or just click the link on my profile page._

_TwilightMundi = Best Beta Ever!_

_Stephenie Meyer owns everything you recognize. Rated M for mature themes and eventual slash. _

_Enjoy!_

* * *

I spent the short drive to Jasper's restaurant trying to remember whether I had liked blueberries when I was human. I recalled that my mother had loved strawberries. She had always said they were so good they made all the other fruit jealous. But blueberries? Well, I couldn't remember their flavor very well at all.

I sighed as I pulled into a parking spot in front of the small, rundown diner. It would be so much better if vampires could eat human food. Well, actually, it would be so much better if I were not a vampire. But if I had to be a vampire, I wished I could prefer berries to blood.

I got out of the car and slammed the door a little harder than I ought to have out of frustration. After quickly whispering an apology to my Volvo's driver's side door, I walked over to meet Jasper and head inside.

Jasper led us to a booth in the back corner. He didn't say anything as he glanced at his menu quickly, shutting it after only a few seconds. I pretended to continue to study the menu before me.

"I'm going to get a cup of coffee and a slice of pie. I recommend it, if you're interested," Jasper said.

I looked up and hesitated. "Well, I, um, I'm not really a big coffee-drinker," I explained before burying my head in my menu once again.

"I could check, maybe they have Coke and pretzels? You seemed to enjoy those the other day," he replied.

I got the sense he was teasing me. "Oh, no, that's okay, I'm not really thirsty."

Well, that was a lie if I'd ever told one, but go big or go home, right?

"Plus I'm allergic to wheat, so I can't have pretzels," I continued. "Also I'm diabetic, so no Coke for me."

More lies.

Clarification: More bad lies.

"I guess it is a good thing that your couch isn't allergic as well, considering all of the pretzels you stuffed under the cushion instead of eating them the other day," he commented. "And it's too bad Esme doesn't seem to know about your diabetes. I bet she would have brought you something sugar-free so you didn't have to pour the Coke into her nice vase."

I glanced at him and saw his grin. He was teasing me! I knew it. But more importantly, he had noticed more than I gave him credit for.

"I...I don't... I can't..." I frowned.

"Special diet?" he asked, straight-faced, though his eyes were twinkling.

"You could say that," I said. Thankfully his questioning then took a different turn.

"Is it a problem for you to sit here and watch me eat?" he asked.

"Oh, no, that's fine. It doesn't bother me at all," I replied as our waitress approached, took his order, and then left us alone again.

We discussed the movie for a minute, then moved on to cover the courses we'd be taking the following semester. As I suspected, we had no classes in common. I offered to switch my elective class—harpsichord performance—in favor of one of his history courses, but he insisted that I stick with my original choice.

"You just never know when having harpsichord skills will come in handy," he joked.

I pointed out that he was even less likely to ever need the skills he would learn in his elective class. He was, after all, unlikely to ever meet an ancient Sumerian who required his or her cuneiform translated. Even the Volturi didn't go back that far.

The waitress soon appeared with Jasper's pie, and seemed to want to hang around for awhile at our table. However, after shooting her a threatening look when Jasper wasn't paying attention, she disappeared quickly. Apparently I wasn't above flashing some teeth when it fit my needs.

After taking a sip of coffee, Jasper gave an exaggerated "ahhh" before describing his apparently intense relationship with the beverage. But when he took a bite of the pie a moment later, his eyes practically rolled back in his head as he quietly hummed his enjoyment.

My breath hitched in my throat watching his reaction to the simple pleasure.

Wow. I had perhaps underestimated how important Jasper's happiness was to me, if seeing him in such bliss affected me so strongly.

"So, it's good, huh?" I asked, smiling.

He grinned. "Heaven. It's heaven on a plate."

"I think that coffee, with which you claim to be in a serious relationship, has every right to be quite jealous. I think you might well be cheating on it with that pie," I commented.

"Nope," he smiled, spearing another bite on his fork. "At least, it's not pie that my coffee has to worry about."

"Oh? What do you like more than pie?" I wanted to see him eat it, whatever it was. I wanted to see that look on his face again.

He groaned. "Because I really don't want to see you bolt through that door, I'm going to change the subject instead of talking further about any potential relationships with desserts or otherwise."

He paused for a moment before changing the subject. "So what are you up to tomorrow?"

"I believe I'm going hiking with my brother. I'm not sure what else. You?" I replied.

"It's going to be kind of cold for a hike isn't it?" he commented.

And just then I noticed Jasper's mouth. "Oh, yeah, maybe. I...weather... check..." I trailed off, suddenly unable to form a coherent sentence.

All I could do was gaze, entranced by Jasper's lips, which were now dyed a deep blood red thanks to the blueberries he was eating. His red lips further brought out the color in his cheeks and I stared, enthralled. I groaned audibly before I could control my reaction.

"Yeah, that is a bummer," he said.

After a moment I realized he thought I was groaning because of a canceled hike. Well, that was as good an excuse as any.

I tried to look away, but then—oh god help me—he took another bite and a little of the juice from the berries escaped the corner of his mouth. I couldn't tear my eyes away from him. I swear, it was heaven and hell, ecstasy and agony, all in rolled up in a set of beautiful berry-stained red lips.

I clenched my hands at my sides, trying not to reach out and brush the juice from his mouth and taste it myself. Sure, I might not appreciate the flavor in a conventional sense, but somehow I suspected I'd never forget the taste of blueberries ever again.

Now it wasn't just his scent around which my world was revolving, it was his blood-red lips and rosy cheeks, his bright blue-gray eyes, and even his sunny blond curls. He was introducing new colors to my dark world.

I forced my eyes to close for a moment, trying to get a hold of myself. I opened them again just in time to see him reach his tongue to the side of his mouth, capturing the wayward berry juice, after which he grinned at me. "What's up, Edward?"

Mother of all things holy, every ounce of my existence focused unapologetically on the man's mouth. I knew somewhere in the back of my mind that Jasper had asked me a question, but somehow it seemed that responding was so far below his lips on my list of priorities that it was barely worth consideration.

After another few seconds of indulgence, I somehow forced my eyes to his. His eyes sparkled.

"I, uh, color, you, blueberries..." For god's sake, I couldn't even talk.

And when I thought it couldn't get any worse, I lost the last of my tenuous grip on coherency thanks to the fact that I now felt my body reacting in foreign ways to the man before me. I felt almost lightheaded, as if without my permission, my physical form was suddenly focusing its attention somewhere other than my brain.

And then I realized exactly where my body was focusing its energy. I glanced down at my lap. Oh my god.

What was it about this man, this human, that made me react in ways I hadn't experienced in more than 90 years?

"Edward?" he asked again.

"I, uh, bathroom," I said. I needed a moment. I'd just take a few minutes in the restroom to calm myself down and um, figure out a way to calm myself down.

"Really?" he asked, surprised. "I guess I just figured if you didn't, well, I didn't know, I mean, you've never needed to use the bathroom before..." he trailed off, looking embarrassed.

"Well, I, um, I just need it now. I'll be right back," I said, neither confirming or denying his statement.

I stood up quickly and moved to exit the booth. But before I could dash off, I recognized that Jasper was watching me with a strange look in his eyes. And then I realized exactly where Jasper's gaze focused. Shit. I grabbed a menu off the table and tried to casually hold it in front of my groin.

"Reading material," I muttered, before dashing off across the diner to the men's room.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

After discovering that I was able to return my body to its normal state by envisioning several of my elder music theory professors without clothing, I decided I was fit to return to Jasper.

I just couldn't look at his lips ever again, not if I was going to be unable to control myself after doing so. I sighed as I headed back to our booth. After all, I kind of liked his mouth.

Upon my return, I noticed that the waitress had cleared Jasper's pie plate and refilled his coffee.

"You okay?" he asked when I sat down again.

"Er, yes, thanks," I replied.

"I got more coffee, I hope you don't mind?" he said.

"No, that's fine." I was careful to keep my eyes on his. As long as he didn't get more pie, I would be okay. The memory of those berry-stained lips was sure to haunt me as it was.

And with that thought, my eyes unconsciously glanced back at his beautiful mouth for a fraction of a second. Apparently that's all it took.

"Son of a bitch," I muttered under my breath, as I once again felt my body's betrayal.

_Seriously, how did everyone deal with this?_

I closed my eyes and once again invoked images of disrobed professors to settle myself down.

It was going to be a long night.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

After Jasper consumed his fourth cup of coffee and was practically vibrating in his seat from the caffeine, he decided it was time for us to leave the diner. I followed him out to his car.

He paused and turned to me before opening his car door. "Thanks. I had a really great time."

I nodded. "Me too."

"Edward, can I ask you something?" he suddenly asked.

"Sure," I said cautiously, He could ask. Whether I could answer or not remained to be seen.

"I was just wondering, are you..."

_Don't say "vampire", don't say "vampire", I chanted internally._

"Gay?" he finished, as if he was asking something as simple as my name or address or date of birth... well, maybe not date of birth.

I opted for honesty. "I don't know," I responded.

"Hmm, well, you know I'm attracted to you. Are you attracted to me?" he replied.

I ignored his question for a moment and considered first his statement. It was true, I did know he was attracted to me. As Carlisle had pointed out, his heart tended towards irregularity in my presence. Plus, I was designed to be attractive to him. It made sense.

But as for my own feelings... I couldn't deny what had (repeatedly) happened to me back in the diner. But I just wasn't sure what it all meant.

"Jasper, I wish it was that easy," I sighed.

"Why can't it be?" he asked.

"You know this," I said, trying unsuccessfully to keep a whiny tone out of my voice. "I'm different."

"Different how?" he probed.

It was the logical question for him to ask, but I couldn't budge. There was my family to think of, not to mention the laws governing our world forbid much elaboration on my part.

I gave him what I could. He deserved to know. "I'm just different. You've noticed. My diet, for example."

"And you're always cold," he interrupted. "And your eyes change color."

"Yes, that too." God, this man was more observant than any human I'd ever met.

"Plus, you're really strong," he continued. "Hell, you picked me up like I was a feather and ran back to your house after I fell in the woods. And you're—"

I cut him off before he could continue. I was shocked and not a little embarrassed by how poorly I'd played the role of "human" in front of him.

"Right. And there are other things as well," I continued. "Well, one of those things is that I am designed to be attractive to hu—" I quickly stopped myself from saying "humans," thereby indicating that I was in fact not one of them. "To you," I finished. "So it's really not fair."

Poor Jasper didn't have a chance. He was human, and therefore susceptible. He had to know.

I waited for him to jump in his car, slam his door in my face, and drive off.

Instead, he stayed where he was and looked thoughtful.

"Your family members, they're like you?" he asked.

I grimaced and gave a slight nod.

More time passed.

"Edward, I think you misunderstand me," he finally said. "I'm attracted to you. I'm not attracted to you because of whatever you are. I mean, I'm not in the least interested in your family members, and apparently they're also, as you put it, 'designed to be attractive.' Seriously, Emmett? Carlisle? Alice? They do nothing for me. I mean, of course they're nice enough, and good looking—your family has some seriously great genes in that department—but I'm not attracted to any of them. I like you."

He blushed, but kept talking. "And also, I'm not attracted to you because you're different. I mean, you're cold and don't eat, and frankly, that's just weird. Although, I have to say, the ridiculously strong thing is kinda hot...and when your eyes get all dark..." he trailed off and a deep rumble emerged from his throat.

Oh my god, did he just growl at me? The sound, it was... Oh, for crying out loud. Here we go again. I felt the now-familiar sensation as my body responded once more. I adjusted my coat to provide a bit of additional coverage. This was getting ridiculous, not to mention more than a little uncomfortable. I was going to have to talk to Carlisle when I got home.

I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. Great. I had been holding out hope that I had some inexplicable thing for blueberry juice. No such luck. It was Jasper. It had to be Jasper. I knew it now.

It was him.

_It was him._

It was a beating heart and a good soul wrapped up in blond and blue-gray and laughter, tied with a freaking bow of perfect red lips.

No wonder I couldn't stay away. I hadn't had a prayer.

Yet as perfect as he seemed to me, what could I be to him? I was nothing but unnecessary danger in a cold, hard, soulless package. I had to make him see.

"Jasper, I don't know what to say. You make me feel things I've never felt before, but it doesn't even matter. It's irrelevant. I'm just not good for you. I wish I could be, I do. I mean, look at you, you deserve everything. And I don't even have a heart to give you," I choked. Damn it, Rosalie was going to give me hell for saying that, but he had to know. "I can never be good for you. So, you see, it just doesn't matter how I feel."

I turned and started walking back toward my car.

"Thank you," I heard him call from his own car.

I paused, and turned to him. "Thank you?"

"Yes, thank you. I asked you to tell me what you were thinking, and you did. I'm pretty sure that's the only way this can possibly work," he said.

"Oh," I replied.

"I have a favor to ask though," he continued. "Can I be the one to judge what is good for me?"

I wanted to tell him no, but even I heard how absurd that sounded.

"Jasper, if you knew, you would understand. I'm not good." It was my turn to growl, and for the second time in this evening, I flashed my sharp teeth in warning. A little fear would do him good.

But instead of appearing afraid, he slowly walked over to me. "Do it again," he commanded.

I complied, but he just walked closer still until he stopped in front of me. Why wasn't he getting the message? His calm was unnerving me.

He put his right hand over my silent heart. "Again," he whispered.

I did.

"I see," he said.

"Exactly," I replied, and took a step back, removing myself from his reach.

But he stepped forward and once again placed his hand on my heart. With his left, he took my hand in his.*

"No," he said. "You misunderstand. I see you. You're not bad. You say you're different, but I say you're special. And yes, you're scared, and honestly, so am I, but that's okay. We don't have to understand everything yet. God knows I have a lot of questions." He chuckled, and dropped my hand and brought his up to my face. He ran his thumb from by bottom lip down my chin and along my jaw before dropping both of his hands to his side, and taking a step back. "Yes," he said, quietly to himself. "You're worth it."

I was too stunned to disagree.

He started walking back to his car, but before getting inside he turned back to me.

"How about this? I'll be as good as I can be, and you be as good as you can be. Let's just start with that," he suggested. "Enjoy your hike tomorrow. Maybe you can call or text me sometime when you get back."

I nodded dumbly and watched him get in the car.

"Bye, Edward," he called as he shut his door.

"Bye Jasper," I whispered back as he drove off.

_

* * *

_

A/N: * Yes, Edward paid up, having lost the bet with Emmett regarding whether Jasper would attempt to hold his hand during their evening together. Rosalie also lost her wager with Emmett, having bet that Edward would break Jasper's hand in the process. Between his increased wealth and Rosalie's unexpectedly frisky mood, Emmett had a decidedly good evening.


	8. Chapter 8: Hungry

**Said and done**

**Chapter 8: Hungry**

_A/N: __The song for this chapter is the classic "Blueberry Hill" by Fats Domino. (Available at: _www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=bQQCPrwKzdo_ or just click the link in my profile.)_

_Thanks again to TwilightMundi for working her beta magic._

_Stephenie Meyer owns everything you recognize. Rated M for mature themes and eventual slash._

_As always, thanks for reading and reviewing._

* * *

_Blueberry cobbler  
__Blueberry shortcake  
__Blueberry turnovers_

I stopped at a 24-hour grocery store on the way home from the diner. I'd need certain ingredients and I wasn't sure what Esme already had in the house.

_Blueberry coffee cake  
__Blueberry crisp  
__Blueberry scones_

I started in the produce section, of course, where I loaded every one of the available packages of blueberries into my cart. I considered asking the manager if he or she had additional supplies because I wasn't certain that the 26 and a half pints I'd picked up would be enough. But I decided it would be sufficient to start; I could always send Alice out for more in the morning if need be.

_Blueberry muffins  
__Blueberry buckle  
__Blueberry pound cake_

And then I moved to the baking aisle, where I carefully selected 10 5-lb packs of sugar and flour, and just as many containers of baking soda, powder, vanilla, salt, and brown sugar.

_Blueberry pie  
__Blueberry cheesecake  
__Blueberry blintzes_

I'd run out of space in my cart by that point, so I had to stop at the front of the store for a second one along the way to the dairy section of the market. That's where I grabbed all of the butter, milk, and jumbo-sized eggs—nothing but the best for my Jasper—that the store had in stock. I just had to hope it was enough.

_Blueberry bread  
__Blueberry cookies  
__Blueberry tarts_

I quickly paid for my purchases, loaded up my car, and carefully drove the rest of the way home, trying to avoid all possible potholes and bumps in the road. I didn't want to jostle and bruise the blueberries.

_Blueberry crumble  
__Blueberry dumplings  
__Blueberry everything_

I drove quickly. All I could think about was the pleasure I had seen on Jasper's face. I wanted to see it again. If blueberries made the man happy, then blueberries I would provide.

_Blueberry Jasper  
__Blueberry lips  
__Blueberry tongue  
__Blueberry _Fuck!

I jerked the steering wheel. I'd nearly just driven off the road because I'd been so caught up in my imagination.

I vowed to focus, and sped up, trying to reach Forks as quickly as possible.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

I pulled into my driveway and immediately called everyone to join me while I unloaded my purchases.

"Okay, listen up. Rosalie, you're in charge of recipes. I want you to download every 5-star recipe involving blueberries you can find. The Food Network probably has some, or allrecipes or just Google it. But they had better be good! Emmett, you can man the oven. Carlisle, can you measure ingredients? Alice, will you take care of the toppings and decorative icing? Esme, you can mix the ingredients that Carlisle measures. And I'll supervise," I instructed. They had better not mess this up.

"What is going on?" Esme asked.

"Just bake, woman!" I commanded. I understood they were confused, but there was clearly no time to explain.

"Edward! Don't talk to Esme like that!" Carlisle reprimanded.

I sighed. "Sorry, Esme. Now, can we move people? Let's go, let's go! Move it, move it!"

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Nearly seven hours later, Carlisle called Operation Totally Baked to a halt. (I was not to be held responsible for the name; Emmett simply wouldn't participate without one.)

"Edward, that's enough. Any more is just unacceptably wasteful. Just look at this pile of food, and look at Alice!" he said.

I glanced at her. She was surrounded by piles of baked goods taller than she was. And despite the fact that I'd rarely in my existence seen her with a hair out of place, her enthusiasm had gotten the best of her. She was covered with flour, and had icing in her hair, mashed blueberries on her sleeve, butter on her forehead, a dirty spatula tucked behind her ear, and a streak of red food coloring on her cheek. (I'd slipped her that last item and suggested she use it liberally when the occasion called. When it came to Jasper's lips, the redder, the better, in my opinion.)

Still, Rosalie had found at least 13 additional recipes we hadn't yet tried, and I wasn't one to give up.

"Fine," I conceded. "You can stop. I'll finish by myself."

"No, you're finished too," Carlisle said firmly. "We're already going to be taking the vast majority of this down to the food pantry for distribution. Save your remaining recipes for another time."

I started to protest but he stood firm. Eventually I gave in, and we began cleaning up. This mission took little time, though it contributed a few clumps of soap bubbles to Alice's already unique look.

When we finished cleaning up the kitchen and ourselves, Carlisle called me to his office, as I suspected he would.

"Does he know?" Carlisle asked without preamble.

I shook my head no.

"Do you like him?" he questioned.

I nodded.

"Are you attracted to him?"

I hesitated. Yeah, after last night, I had, well, I had a _firm _answer to that one. I nodded.

"Does he like blueberries?" he asked next, smiling.

I grinned.

"Okay then, that's all I wanted to know, you can go," he said.

"That's it?" I asked. I was shocked. I'd expected the grilling of a century (or 90 years anyway). Was he suddenly uninterested? I was unexpectedly disappointed. I think I'd almost looked forward to talking to Carlisle about Jasper.

But no, Carlisle just confirmed that he had no further questions and that I could go.

I couldn't seem to get up from my chair.

"Is there something you wanted to talk about, Edward?" Carlisle asked straight-faced yet with a twinkle in his eye.

I debated for a moment. "No?"

"I'm here when you want to talk," he said.

I nodded and headed toward the door, but before I left, I turned back.

"I like him," I said.

"I know," he replied.

"My, um, my body likes him too," I tried to explain.

"I understand," Carlisle replied. "That's perfectly normal."

"Right, I know, but... how do I make my body not like him?" I asked.

He laughed. "Unfortunately, Edward, you probably can't. But you can control your reactions. If you are in public, thinking about unpleasant things is often an effective solution. For example, I often recall the Plague of the Immortal Children when I have a similar problem."

"I used naked music theory teachers," I said, suddenly feeling silly. Carlisle's choice seemed much more meaningful.

But Carlisle was quick with his praise. "That's perfect!" he replied.

I nodded. "What about Emmett? What does he use?" I asked eager for additional tips.

Carlisle hesitated and cleared his throat. "Well, he doesn't. He claims that there's only been four times when he's had that problem and Rosalie was unable or unwilling to put him to use. You've surely noticed they're never apart for very long."

"Oh." I tried not to think about that for very long.

"And, of course, you can solve the problem physically as well as mentally. If you have adequate time and privacy, physical release is often more effective."

I nodded. I knew what Carlisle was saying, of course, but frankly, I'd never been very interested in doing that before. But if it was effective, well, I suppose I'd have to consider it as an option.

"Good. Now, don't you have some desserts to deliver?" Carlisle asked.

I grinned, tucking away Carlisle's suggestion for a later time, and dashed downstairs to load the hundreds of blueberry treats into my car. Soon I was on my way to surprise Jasper at the home where he was staying for the winter break.

I was a vampire on a mission.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

When I arrived at Jasper's I brought everything out of the car and began carrying it up to the front porch. When I finished, I rang the doorbell and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

I rang the doorbell again.

Still, no Jasper.

Hmmm. I hadn't considered that he might not be home. How was I supposed to surprise him if he wasn't home to be surprised?

Well, now what?

I supposed I could have left the treats for him, but then I wouldn't get to see him enjoy them.

Luckily, it occurred to me that I could just wait for Jasper. I wasn't sure how long he'd be gone, but I certainly had the time. Emmett and I had planned to go hunting in the afternoon, but he said he'd go with Carlisle instead so I could take the desserts to Jasper. I'm not sure I would have gone with Emmett anyway though, seeing as he announced in front of Esme that the reason for my baking spree was a mighty case of blueberry balls. That was just uncalled for.

Well then, waiting it was. I made space amongst the baked goods and sat down on the front stoop to wait for Jasper's return.

Sometime mid-afternoon I got a bit bored. I'd been staring at the cracks in the sidewalks for hours, but the time seemed to stand still. Where was he?

I decided he was most likely having lunch with a friend. I hoped he wasn't eating too much though. I wanted him to be hungry when he got home. But what if it wasn't lunch with a friend? What if he was on a date?

I got up and started pacing back and forth on the front lawn, various small woodland creatures scattering at my every approach.

A date. I shuddered. _A date! _Suddenly I was quite certain I wanted to be the only one to date Jasper. He was mine, I growled.

I heard a bird squawk and fly off at the sound.

I glanced around, hoping I hadn't frightened any of the neighbors. I had to get a grip.

I went back and sat on the porch. I didn't want to get all worked up over nothing. After all, maybe he wasn't on a date, or even having lunch with a friend. Maybe he'd just gone for groceries or the bank or the post office for—I glanced at my watch—almost four hours.

I sighed and went back to watching the crack in the sidewalk elongate due to the grass growing up through from below.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

After another hour sitting on the porch literally watching the grass grow, there was still no Jasper.

I let my mind wander to our time together the previous night. I smiled happily, nestled in my cocoon of baked goods with my head resting lightly on a pound cake. I liked thinking of him.

I inhaled deeply, enjoying the fragrance surrounding me. Not the nearly 30 varieties of cookies, cakes, tarts, etc, that I'd brought with me, of course, but the unique fiery bouquet that was Jasper's blood. It clung heavily to the house where he was staying.

In fact, the aroma was particularly concentrated in one area, the second floor toward the rear of the house. I realized it must be the room where he slept. I had an immediate intense desire to see the room.

Hmmm...I wonder if...

No, I couldn't.

But... technically I could...

No, Edward, that would be wrong.

But... what good is being a vampire if you can't sneak into people's houses and check out their bedrooms and sniff their pillows once in awhile?

I debated this long and hard—for almost a full second and a half—before deciding that the house was secluded enough and that I was indeed desperate enough to do just that.

So I got up, dashed around to the back of the house, and silently slipped open a first-floor window I found unlocked. Then, I quickly vaulted myself through that window, and into what was apparently a bathroom.

I came to that conclusion rather quickly, based on the presence of a large bathtub, an ornate vanity, and the toilet into which I stepped during my landing. I glanced down at my left leg, which was now wet and dyed slightly blue thanks to the toilet bowl cleaner the owners must have used.

I shook my head in disgust. Way to look before you leap, Edward.

But thanks to the blow-drier I located in a drawer beneath the sink, I left the bathroom only slightly more damp than when I entered it, though my khakis were still significantly bluer than I would have preferred.

Despite the rough start to my breaking and entering career, Jasper's scent still called to me, so I proceeded to leave the bathroom and look for the stairs that would lead me closer to his bedroom. Upon finding them, I darted upstairs and stealthily made my way to the room that was Jasper's, humming the Mission Impossible theme song to myself as I did so.

And when I reached his room, and after taking a moment to appreciate Jasper's tidiness, I lay down on his bed and rested my head on his pillow, luxuriating in his scent. "Ugh...Jasper..." I moaned quietly. "You smell really good."

Breath after burning breath scorched my lungs, but the fire simply reinforced how vibrant and alive he was. It made my head spin.

I pictured what Jasper would look like sleeping in this space. I wonder if he slept on his side, or stomach? I wasn't sure why exactly, but it seemed to matter. I wondered if he would find it odd if I asked.

And then I wondered what he wore to sleep.

My body started to like Jasper at that thought.

It felt wrong though, to be in his space, like that without him.

But that just made me wonder if I would rather be like that with him.

And my body_ really _liked that thought.

After another few deep breaths, my guilt became overwhelming, and I stood up and straightened out the blankets on the bed, and scattered some dust lightly around where I had been, removing all trace of my presence.

With a sigh, I made my way out of the room, back down the stairs, out the bathroom window and into the backyard, shutting the window again behind me.

I began to head around to the front of the house to wait once more when I realized it might not be a great idea to do so. I mean, I didn't want to offend his neighbors with the problem in my pants.

But right as I was about to concentrate on what a quartet of nude string faculty members might look like, Carlisle's words rang loud and clear in my head. "Of course, you can solve the problem physically as well as mentally. If you have adequate time and privacy, physical release is often more effective," he had said.

Hmm... "effective" sounded good to me. And I mean, I had time. I'd been waiting for Jasper all day and that didn't look like it was about to change anytime soon. I wasn't sure exactly how much time this was going to take, but I figured it couldn't be too long or Carlisle would have told me.

Privacy was another matter. I wasn't going to go back in the house, and it wouldn't do to sit in my car. The driveway was far too exposed.

I looked around the backyard. Well, there were a few large evergreens that would provide a certain degree of privacy. In fact, there was one rather near the window to Jasper's bedroom.

Hmmm...I wonder if...

No, I couldn't.

But... technically I could...

No, Edward, that would be wrong.

But... what good is being a vampire if you can't look into people's bedrooms from nearby pine trees while alleviating a little pressure once in awhile?

I actually twitched at the thought.

And with that, I made a beeline for the large evergreen near Jasper's window.

I scaled it quickly and was soon perched on a large branch overlooking his bedroom.

Now what?

Well, I mean, just because I wasn't interested in doing this before, didn't mean I didn't know what to do. But damn, it felt kinda odd to imagine whipping myself out in a pine tree. But whatever, right? I'd give those pine cones a good show—Oh, and also that sparrow that just flew by. And where did that finch come from?

I unzipped my khakis.

_Okay, then, Edward. On you go._

I stood up enough on the branch to pull down my pants and boxer-briefs. I then carefully bent into a crouch and leaned back against the trunk of the tree, trying to ignore the woodpecker staring at me from the next branch.

I looked down.

Did I just, you know, grab hold? It seemed to make some sense. I mean, it was right there just waiting for attention.

But then, I wasn't exactly sure about hand placement either. Was the thumb supposed to go on the top or to the side or sort of down, like that? And, my god, what if that wasn't even the correct hand to use? Or was I supposed to somehow use both hands?

And, then there was the matter of pressure. Exactly how tightly was I supposed to grab on? And was one supposed to start at the top or the bottom? And speed. I couldn't forget about speed. And why did that robin keep staring at me?

I really wished I'd taken the time to ask Carlisle these things. There was just so much to consider!

I contemplated calling him on my cell, but then realized that I was crouching half-naked in some stranger's pine tree debating masturbation techniques in front of what had become a rather large gathering of interested birds, including one Canada goose and arguably, one loon (me). I just didn't think I could explain everything to Carlisle. I'm not sure this was exactly what he had in mind when he encouraged me to explore physical release earlier this morning.

Okay, stop procrastinating Edward, and just touch yourself, for god's sake!

Then I remembered that I should probably be thinking of Jasper when I did so. Maybe then it would feel a bit more meaningful.

I closed my eyes and pictured him laughing, and then I remembered how he'd looked when he licked his lips when eating pie, and then I recalled the look of his abdomen, which he'd accidentally displayed when trying to take off my sweater—_Hey wait a minute! He still had my sweater!_

No, no, no. Focus, Edward. You can get the sweater later. Just think of Jasper. Yes, Jasper. What Jasper smells like, how he blushes. Think of how he looked in the movie theater, and what it felt like to hug him. Think of how it sounds when he says your name.

"Edward." I heard him call my name, his voice vivid in my mind. I loved how he said my name, and how his lips looked when he did so.

"Edward!" I heard him call to me, louder now. Yes, just like that. It was perfect. I loved the intensity with which he spoke to me.

"Jasper," I moaned quietly, and without thinking I reached down and took hold of myself and—

"Edward? Where are you? I see your car! _EDWARD?_"

Holy shit! Jasper was home! I glared down at my lap. I missed his arrival, and it was all my stupid crotch's fault.

Quickly, I reached down to grab my pants and yank them back into place while balancing on my branch. Unfortunately, as I did so, my cell fell out of my pocket and clattered onto the icy ground below.

"Edward?" I looked down through the branches and saw him approach the base of the tree. He picked up my phone, then peered up.

"Edward? Are you in the tree?"

I decided to play it cool. "Hey Jasper!"

"Okay, let me rephrase my question," he said. "Why are you in the tree?"

"Oh, you know, just hanging out. I was waiting for you to come home." I kept my voice casual.

"So you were bored and decided to climb my tree?" he asked.

"Yes!" I exclaimed. That was better than any excuse I'd thought of.

"Right." He paused. "So did you want to come down?"

"Oh, yes, sure." I climbed down as quickly as I dared and in a few seconds I was standing before him. "Surprise!" I said happily.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"So, you're really an 'all or nothing' kind of guy, aren't you, Edward?" Jasper asked picking up a tray of blueberry muffins.

"Huh?" I asked. I paused halfway down the driveway and looked back at him on the porch. I wasn't sure what he was talking about.

"Never mind," he said, smiling. "I just can't believe you made all of this for me. Crazy..." he trailed off.

I shrugged and dropped another load of desserts into my trunk.

Jasper had convinced me that it would be good to take a drive to Port Angeles to drop off the extra baked goods at a food pantry. Though his eyes got large and he looked rather ravenous at times while we sorted through the desserts, he claimed he'd be unable to eat even a third of what I had brought. So I agreed that if he kept one of each type of pastry and kept a record of his favorites, I would consent to donate the rest.

After we finished packing everything up, Jasper dashed into the house for a moment before meeting me at the car.

"One fah tha roadthe," he said, before swallowing and grinning as he held up giant blueberry muffin, a large bite already missing from the side. I shook my head at him, and got into the car, trying not grin like an idiot.

Any attempt at maintaining a straight face was thwarted however, when Jasper got in the car and asked me to hold the previously undisclosed contents of his other hand (a sizable chunk of coffee cake) while he buckled his seatbelt.

I have to admit I panicked for a moment at the thought of Jasper getting crumbs all over my car, but I needn't have worried. He was like a vacuum. Not a crumb escaped his beautiful, red—naked cello teacher, naked trombone professor, naked opera history faculty, there we go, all better—red lips.

Though I was nervous my ever-observant friend would further question my presence in his tree, he did not. I did catch him glancing at my blue left foot and leg a few times, but each time he just shrugged his shoulders lazily and took another large bite of his muffin.

And so I drove to Port Angeles and back with Jasper, happy to be with the one who, despite my blue pants and awkward erections, cold skin and frozen heart, was, for some unknowable reason, also happy to be with me.

_

* * *

_

_A/N: Oh, and in case you were wondering, Jasper was at a dentist appointment while Edward was waiting impatiently (i.e., breaking and entering/trying to masturbate in an evergreen) for his return. _

_Actually, Jasper very nearly forgot the appointment entirely, having only been reminded of it the night before when Edward growled and bared his teeth at him. And no, Jasper was in no way interested in dating his dentist, which was Edward's follow-up question._

_Also, for the record, Jasper's dentist would have been very put out if he had learned exactly how much sugar Jasper devoured not an hour after leaving his office._


	9. Chapter 9: Easy, breezy, beautiful

**Said and done**

**Chapter 9: Easy, breezy, beautiful**

_A/N: According to my fabulous reviewers, this story should have a warning attached. Thus, do not read this story if you are at work, drinking any sort of beverage, have a full bladder, are reading on your laptop next to a sleeping spouse or near any number of sleeping children, or are generally in the presence of anyone who might question your laughter and sanity should you try to explain why Edward was in the tree doing you-know-what._

_To those readers who experienced choking, cranky spouses, confused coworkers, or may have peed a little, my deepest apologies. ;) _

_Thanks for the red ink, TwilightMundi! You rock._

_The song for this chapter is "Unintended" by Muse. (Available at: _www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=8cCrsWC1fpo _or just click the link in my profile.)_

_Stephenie Meyer owns everything you recognize. Rated M for mature themes and eventual slash. _

_Thanks for reading and reviewing!_

* * *

Jasper was quiet during the drive back to his house from Port Angeles. My guess was that he was getting tired; it was already early evening, and he'd had a busy day for a human.

I was content to let him rest. It seemed that in a very short time his needs became my highest priority.

He sighed and I looked over in time to catch his eyelids close slowly as he dozed off. The gentle smile that graced his lips while he rested was breathtaking.

But after a few minutes of silence, he opened his eyes and looked at me.

"I think we should do something cool before we have to go back to campus," he suggested.

He was right that our winter break was quickly approaching. We had only a few short days before we'd head back to school to begin our final semester in our degree programs. I understood that his time would become much more limited then. I quickly promised myself I wouldn't bother him too much so he could get his work done and finish at the top of his class. He was capable of so much in his world, and I didn't want to get in the way. His needs first, I pledged.

"Did you have anything specific in mind?" I asked.

"Maybe a hike? I think it is supposed to be nice later this week, and I know you couldn't go today because it was crappy out," he replied.

He was right, at the end of the week it was supposed to be unseasonably warm with clear, sunny skies, which meant that the weather was too good as far as I was concerned. I couldn't be outside with him in the bright sun.

"Actually, it may still be a little cold to be outside," I said, trying to dissuade him from the outdoor activity. "Can we walk around inside somewhere instead?"

His eyebrows were raised when he looked at me. "Too cold for _you?_"

I shrugged in response.

He thought for a moment. "Where do you think we should go?"

I had a sudden idea. "How about the mall? They just put in those distance-markers," I suggested. We could walk inside the mall away from the brilliant sunshine the national weather service promised. I mean, it wasn't exactly hiking, but there were a few skylights and escalators, and I think maybe even some potted plants. Perhaps those would suffice in a pinch?

"The mall?" he laughed. "Are you 90?"

I was fairly certain that, had my heart been beating, it would have chosen that moment to stop short.

"I, err, no, I mean..." I trailed off.

"Edward, I'm sorry, but I'm not really a fan of the mall, and I'm pretty sure the only ones who use those mile-markers are the senior citizens who like to walk around before the stores open to get exercise." He paused. "I think we can handle something a little more exciting than that, don't you? It really is going to be pretty nice and I could really use the fresh air."

I took a deep breath. His needs first, I'd promised myself. And he needed fresh air. I nodded slowly. "Okay, we'll go for a hike. How about Friday?"

He nodded happily.

I had no idea how I'd hide my skin, but I'd figure it out. I had to.

Soon after, he closed his eyes again and seemed to doze off once more.

I swear, that man would have been the death of me if Carlisle's venom hadn't already taken care of it long before.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

A bit later, I pulled up in front of Jasper's house. When I turned off the car, I looked over and Jasper was still fast asleep.

Hmm. Was I supposed to wake him, or should I just let him rest? After much thought, I decided it would be better to get him inside where he would be more comfortable.

I poked him gently on the arm. "Jasper," I whispered. "Time to wake up."

He groaned a bit and shifted slightly so he was facing me, but his eyes remained shut.

I tried again. "Jasper?"

"Mmmm, Edward," he mumbled, still not waking.

I frowned. Should I let him sleep? If he wasn't going to wake up, maybe I shouldn't try to force him.

I looked at his face with his long lashes framed by that mess of blond curls. And even now his plump red lips were curved into a half-smile. How could he be at such peace sitting not two feet from a vampire?

I longed to reach out and touch him.

He was sleeping, and it didn't look as if he was about to waken any time soon. Maybe I didn't have to resist?

It was then that I decided to take advantage of his unconsciousness. I mean, compared to what I'd already done today, what with the breaking and entering, trespassing, and indecent exposure/public nudity, this was nothing.

So I very carefully reached over to Jasper and held my hand a quarter inch from his cheek. I could feel the warmth pulsing beneath his skin and warming my own, even without making actual contact.

Soon I moved my hand back, nervous he would have been chilled having me so close, but he slept on.

_More._

I couldn't resist.

So I slowly moved my hand to him yet again, this time not stopping until the tip of my finger made the slightest contact with the tip of his nose. I hesitated there for half a second, warmth flooding through me, before pulling back yet again.

_More._

Jasper's breathing remained steady and I began to feel a bit bolder, so I gave in yet again. This time, I reached out and ever so lightly ran my thumb along his cheek and then down to his jaw. I must have maintained contact for a full four seconds before my thumb got a little too close to the larger veins in his neck, making me nervous enough to jerk back suddenly.

But even that wasn't enough.

_More. More and more. Forever, more._

I whimpered slightly, unsure whether I could trust myself to continue to touch this man in his most vulnerable state, yet unable to stop.

I blame my next move on the fact that my body was hyper aware of Jasper's heat and my brain seemed to have very little input. And frankly, I was enjoying it too much to think about plagues or naked professors or anything else potentially deflating.

So I slowly leaned over and gently placed my forehead against his own, and closed my eyes, breathing in his soft, even breaths, which still hinted at the blueberries he'd consumed earlier.

I sighed. Nothing compared to touching Jasper in terms of the restraint it required of me, but at the same time, it was unquestionably worth every single moment.

I remained still against him, relishing the stolen moments of closeness to the man who I'd come to treasure in the last few weeks.

And then I heard his breath catch in his throat. I opened my eyes to see his dazed blue-gray ones blinking back at me.

I'd been caught.

I threw open the car door and jumped out, shredding the seatbelt I hadn't bothered to unclasp in the process, and paced along the driver's side of my Volvo. He'd need a moment to wake up, and he had every right to be quite angry with me for invading his personal space while he'd been sleeping.

I heard his car door open and close a moment later. I turned to face him.

"I'm sorry. You looked so peaceful and warm and I just couldn't help it. But I shouldn't have touched you without permission, and I'm sorry. And you must have needed the sleep, so I'm sorry for rousing you." I rambled on, trying to explain.

He blushed immediately despite the cold night air. "Please don't apologize, ever, for that. And I liked waking up so close to you," he said. "Now come here and give me one of your really great hugs," he commanded, his words leaving puffs of white breath in the cold air.

I hesitated, still unsure that he wasn't just hiding his anger.

But he motioned me toward him. "Come here, handsome," he said.

I turned around to see who he was talking to, but found only his mailbox standing behind me. I looked back in confusion.

"You're absolutely ridiculous, you know that?"

I started to protest, but he just shook his head and walked over to me, and pulled me into another one of his perfect Jasper hugs.

And it was just that. At least until he shifted his hip and it brushed against me right _there._

I jumped backward again. "I'm sorry, I... just couldn't help it," I said for the second time in five minutes. He had to have felt me against his hip, and the last thing I'd meant to do was make him uncomfortable. But I just couldn't help myself around him.

I scolded myself. I had to be in better control; this was ridiculous, not to mention very probably unsafe.

He took a step toward me, but I just backed up further, putting more space between us as I fought for control of myself.

He took another step. "Jasper, please, I..." I whined.

"Edward, just stand still. I really need to show you something, but you have to stop moving," he said.

Jasper's needs first, Jasper's needs first. I braced myself and forced myself to hold my ground, allowing him to approach.

"Edward, hug me," he said. I nodded. I could hug him. I carefully wrapped my arms around him, keeping my distance from our arms down.

"Okay, now, don't move," he said, and I soon I felt him press himself against me. "I want you too."

Jasper wanted me. A little whimper crept from my throat.

"I know," he murmured. "I feel the same way."

"Jasper, I don't know, I shouldn't, we can't..." My mind and my body warred and my mouth was caught in between.

"Yet, here we are," he said calmly. "I think we're in this together."

I couldn't decide whether to bolt and never look back or wrap myself around him and never let go. The debate raged in my head, while my body delighted in this new closeness and heat.

Yet still, there it was in the back of my mind. _More. More. More._

And then I felt Jasper shiver.

I cursed myself for being so selfish. I'd trapped him in my frozen arms out in the cold January air. I quickly let him go.

He sighed. "I guess I do need to go inside. It's pretty cold." He grabbed my hand and I let him pull me to the front door.

In between shivers, he thanked me again for the desserts I'd made, and promised to call me the next day to plan our hike for the end of the week.

I nodded and moved to head back to my car, but before letting me go, he leaned in and pressed his forehead to mine—until he shivered yet again.

He pulled back and opened the door. "Thanks," he grinned. "I was jealous you got to do that earlier and I didn't. But now we're even."

He ducked inside and waved goodbye while muttering something about a "fucking Greek god" before shutting the door behind himself.

After I was certain he was safely inside, I dashed back to my car and sped off to Forks. I had a lot of planning to do if I was going to figure out how to pull off a hike in the sunshine in less than two days.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Alice dragged me through the makeup department at the local drugstore. I held the basket that carried all of our items, and she just kept tossing various little containers into it muttering things like, "Ivory, I wish!" and "Ha, soft beige! That'll be the day!"

I sighed. Alice's plan was hardly perfect, but it would have to do.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Maybe he's born with it, maybe it's Maybelline," Emmett sang under his breath.

I turned and glared at him, before Alice pushed my face back into position and held me still. "I told you not to move!" she reminded me.

I sighed and allowed her to apply yet another layer of "porcelain ivory" foundation, the whitest shade we could find, to my face as Emmett continued to giggle beside me.

Alice's theory was that if we caked on the foundation thickly enough, the sun wouldn't hit my skin and cause it to shimmer and sparkle, thereby allowing me to spend the day outside with Jasper.

I hoped she was right. I closed my eyes and let her work, trying to ignore Emmett.

Suddenly, I felt something flutter against my eyelids. I opened my eyes and found her grinning at me, mascara brush in hand.

"Hey! No way! I am NOT wearing makeup!" I told Alice. Foundation was one thing, but mascara? I don't think so.

"Settle down there, easy-breezy-beautiful," Emmett said, grinning.

"But Edward," Alice whined. "It will bring out your eyes!"

"No!" I had to put my foot down. This whole "wearing makeup" thing was a slippery slope.

"Awww, man. You sure? How 'bout some lipstick?" Emmett offered with a smirk. "I brought you Rosalie's favorite."

He held out a color that could only be described as cotton candy dipped in pepto-bismol.

I glared at him.

"You sure? I bet Jasper would love to see your lips this color. It's called—" He paused and pretended to look at the label on the lipstick, before looking back up with a huge grin. "Fairy kiss?"

And with that, I snagged the mascara brush from Alice and took off after my brother hoping to use it to decorate his face with a thick 70s-style mustache or a soul patch. I wasn't sure which.

"Edward! Don't! You'll ruin your makeup!" Alice shrieked.

But it was too late. I had already chased Emmett out the front door and into the woods in a futile attempt to reassert my masculinity.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

A little while later I picked up Jasper for our hike. Thanks to the gloves, winter coat, scarf and other layers I wore, my only exposed skin was on my face, and Alice had made sure that was covered by no fewer than six thick layers of makeup.

I drove us into the woods until I found the snow-covered path we would take to my meadow. I wanted to show it to Jasper, and this seemed like a wonderful opportunity.

We got out of the car, grabbed a few supplies, and were on our way.

We had hiked a mile into the woods when Jasper wondered aloud whether I'd gone to a tanning salon since I'd seen him last, but other than being several shades darker than my natural color, the makeup seemed to be working flawlessly. I had to give Alice credit. If Jasper just thought I had a bad spray tan, then I was in the clear.

Another mile or so down the path, Jasper unzipped his coat and loosened his scarf. I glanced over at him and noticed he was sweating a bit. Despite the snow covering the ground, it was warm for a winter day, and I could tell that Jasper was getting a bit overheated. I was stuck in my layers, however, if I wanted to keep my skin away from the sunlight. But I knew we didn't have too much further to go though, so after pausing for Jasper to drink a bit of water, we pressed on.

Not long afterward, we reached the clearing that was one of my favorite places in all of Washington.

Jasper seemed appropriately appreciative of the natural beauty.

"Wow," he said softly as he spun in a slow circle, taking in the icy winter wonderland. "This is... stunning."

I nodded. "I know." I agreed. "I love it here."

"How'd you find this place?" he asked, wiping is brow and taking off his hat and gloves as he stood in the warm sunshine.

"Oh, Alice and I ran across it one day," I said casually. That was literally what had happened, though I knew Jasper was unlikely to guess the truth behind my lighthearted response.

I then mimicked Jasper and unzipped my coat and loosened my scarf a slight bit, before pretending to wipe the imaginary sweat from my own forehead.

"It's so beautiful. Wow," he said again, looking around again before turning to me. "Yeah, I think this place must be magical."

I smiled. I loved this place on an average day. Now that Jasper was with me I could agree that it bordered on magical.

He motioned me over to sit with him on a fallen log at the edge of the meadow. I joined him happily.

We sat quietly, taking in the stillness of the meadow and listening to the occasional bird call that punctuated the rhythmic drip of the ice melting from the trees and dropping to the frozen ground below.

A couple minutes later I watched him reach into his pocket and dig around for a moment before he brought out a crumpled tissue. "It's clean, I promise," he said. "You can use it to wipe your forehead."

I assumed he was just trying to be nice, but being a vampire, I didn't sweat like a human, so I declined the Kleenex.

But he wasn't to be dissuaded. "Edward, when you wiped your head before, you removed some of that fake tanner or whatever it is you're wearing so you have a big section of your forehead that is all white, and I don't know if water dropped from melting ice on the trees onto your head or something, but it looks sort of all drippy and orange in places where you still have it on. Why don't you just wipe it all off? Besides, I kind of like you looking all pale. It just sort of fits."

There was little to do but wipe the caked foundation off my face, cursing my bad luck as I did so. I should have gone with the waterproof makeup, but it just hadn't come in the right shade. I realized now that that choice had probably been a mistake. And now the gig was up. _Well, we had a nice run, I told myself._

The sun was behind a stray cloud, so Jasper hadn't seen me sparkle yet, but he was about to.

"Much better," he said after I'd wiped my face. "There's my Edward."

And the sun chose that moment to come out from behind the clouds.

"Whoa," he said softly.

_Here I am, indeed, Jasper. How about them apples?_

He stared at me, as the sun hit my now-glittery skin, causing prisms of color to dance across the icy landscape.

"Edward, is it the meadow that is magical, or is it you?"

I looked down at the ground. "I'm hardly magical," I replied.

"Then what are you?" he asked.

I looked at him and shook my head. I couldn't say and he knew it.

"You're going to have to tell me eventually, you know," he said.

I shook my head again.

"Edward, I like you, but I feel like I don't know you. I don't know some of the most basic things about you. What are you worried about? I'm not going to tell anyone. And I've already told you that I don't care what you are. I just want to know you."

He paused and took a deep breath. He sounded frustrated. "I answer all of your questions, and trust me, you have asked some doozies. But you won't answer my most basic question about what you are. I mean, you want to know everything about me—from how I sleep to the name and address of my dentist, but you won't tell me anything. Can you see how it's not fair?"

I cringed. He was right, but I didn't see how that changed a thing. No matter how correct he was, I couldn't share our secret. "I'm sorry," I said. It was all I could offer.

"I don't want 'sorry'!" he said as he got up and walked away into the middle of the clearing.

"I know," I said.

"Well, I want to know," he said, turning to look at me.

"I can't tell you," I replied. "I just... can't."

"I know, but I need you to anyway," he said quietly, his eyes pleading. "What are you, Edward Cullen?"

I just shook my head as his words echoed in my head. His need conflicted with the rules that governed my existence.

He looked at me sadly before he turned away and started heading back toward the path we took to get here. He had finally had enough of me. And I could hardly blame him.

But apparently, neither could I let him go.

I felt the weight of our world lift off my shoulders the minute I made my decision.

I timed my whisper so it would leave my lips as his hiking boot crunched on the frozen ground. "Vampire," I said under my breath.

He paused mid-step. "What did you say?" he asked.

I shook my head. I said it once. I couldn't do it a second time.

He walked back to me. "Say it again," he said.

Again, I shook my head no.

"Edward, please. Say it again," he pressed.

I hesitated.

"Edward," he said, placing the pad of his thumb to my lips. "Please."

I stood frozen, before his touch melted my resistance. Jasper needed to know and I needed him to know. Rules be damned as I was. There would be no more secrets.

"Vampire," I breathed.

"I see," he said, removing his thumb.

I stood motionless, waiting for his response.

"Well, that explains your special diet," he said a minute later.

I nodded.

"Are you thirsty now?" he asked.

"Always," I whispered.

"Blood?" he asked.

I gave a slight nod and squeezed my eyes shut so I wouldn't have so see him run screaming from me. But I heard no footsteps, so I peeked at him out of the corner of one eye.

He was just looking at me, so I began to explain Cullen "vegetarianism" as he listened thoughtfully. But mid-story, he grabbed my arm and yanked as hard as he could on my arm. I let him pull me forward until we were in the shade of a pine tree at the edge of the clearing.

"Oh my god, Edward. The sunlight! I forgot you can't be out in sunlight! Is that why you were melting earlier? I just thought it was makeup or something on your forehead that was all drippy, but it was your actual face! You should have told me sooner! I had no idea! Oh god, oh god, oh god, I'm so sorry, I didn't know! I made you wipe off part of your face! Your beautiful face!" he said, nearly in tears.

After correcting him about that myth and verifying my face was still fully intact, I sat with him in the meadow as he peppered me with questions for the next hour and a half.

And I responded truthfully to each of them—except one.

It was just easier letting him believe vampires often spend their free time hanging out upside-down in trees like bats than explaining why I'd actually been in his evergreen a few days prior.

_

* * *

_

_A/N: The reason Edward's attempt to "reassert his masculinity" was unsuccessful was because even though Edward chased after Emmett with the mascara brush, Emmett returned to the house undecorated by any type of makeup. Edward, not so much._

_You see, while Edward was faster than Emmett, Emmett was stronger. So once Edward caught Emmett, Emmett just flipped Edward to the ground, snagged the mascara from his brother and with it wrote "I like bears" across Edward's foundation-caked forehead. Edward did not understand the joke, and actually thought Emmett had gone easy on him. He did wonder, however, why Emmett had chosen bears, his preference for mountain lions being well known in the Cullen household._

_And finally, on an unrelated note, I wanted to reprint the lyrics to Muse's "_Unintended_" here for those who aren't familiar with the beautiful ballad, but someone let me know that's a TOS violation, so I've removed them. But look them up, seriously. Sigh. I want Jasper for my life extended, too._


	10. Chapter 10: Helping a brother out

**Said and done**

**Chapter 10: Helping a brother out**

_A/N: Sorry for missing last week's update. I blame house guests. That said, I may be able to get an extra one out this week though to make up for it. We'll see._

_Thanks to the fabulous TwilightMundi for betaing this chapter. She totally rocks! _

_The song for this chapter is "Amber" by 311. (Available at: www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=7OJEPTFUeak or just click the link in my profile.) I probably should point out that the song really needs to go toward the end of the chapter. I think you'll be able to figure out when to hit play._

_Stephenie Meyer owns everything you recognize. Rated M for mature themes and eventual slash. _

_Thanks for your seriously sweet and oft hilarious reviews! I am so grateful for each and every one._

_Oh, and finally, I'm now on Twitter. I can't promise to be interesting, but I am there, so feel free to look me up. :) ( _http:/ twitter(dot)com/ icmezzo _)_

* * *

Jasper peppered me with questions while we sat in the meadow.

"_How did you become a vampire?"  
_"_Have you ever turned someone into a vampire?"  
_"_Does it hurt to be in the sunlight?"  
_"_How long have you been a vampire? ... Seriously? You're old!"  
_"_If you and your family are vegetarians, does that mean that there are others that… aren't?"  
"I kind of like garlic. Will that be a problem?"  
_"_Are your family members all vampires?"  
_"_Would _they _mind if I have garlic breath?" _

The questions kept coming after he got cold and we began to head back down the path to my car.

"_Do you like being a vampire?"  
_"_Are you like, really strong? Can you smash this rock for me?"  
_"_Can silver bullets hurt you? How about regular bullets? Grenades? Atomic weaponry?"  
_"_Do you have other normal—err, human—friends?"  
_"_Do you want to drink my blood?"  
_"_Do vampires go to the bathroom?"  
_"_Can you do that Michael Jackson _Thriller _dance? Oh, wait, never mind. Those are zombies. Wait, are they real too?" _

And during the drive home.

"_Do you ever watch vampire movies?"  
_"_Did you look the same when you were human?"  
_"_Does your hair grow?"  
_"_Can you swim?"  
_"_Can anyone become a vampire?"  
_"_How was the first vampire created?"  
_"_How many of you are there?"  
_"_You can't fly, can you? No? Don't laugh at me! I just thought that maybe since bats can fly… No, right, you said that."  
_"_I didn't see a coffin in your bedroom when I was there. Did you hide it? No? Then where do you sleep? Dude, that's weird. Wait, so you don't have a bed? Then where do you… eh, never mind." _

When I pulled up in front of his house, however, I decided it was my turn to ask a questions.

"Jasper, why are you so calm? Why aren't you scared of me? You should be," I asked before he could finish his latest question, which was whether capes came in different sizes or were "one size fits all."

He hesitated. "Well, I wasn't calm when I first found out. I mean, I freaked out pretty hard. Wouldn't you?"

I raised my eyebrow at him.

"Right, well, yeah. So I did when I first found out, but then I remembered that when you freaked out, we talked through it, so maybe I could do it too. And then when I was with you, I wasn't scared anymore," he explained.

I understood what he was saying. When I was scared I held onto him for dear life and he just hugged me and then took me to the movies. I wondered if I should hug him from my place in the driver's seat. But then the rest of his words sunk in.

"Wait. You said 'when you first found out,' but wasn't that just now?" I asked.

"Uh, yeah, no. I found out this morning, a few hours before we got together. I was going to call and cancel but then I figured you wouldn't hurt me, so… here we are."

"You found out this morning?" I asked, stunned.

He nodded.

"Then why did you keep asking me when you already knew?"

"Well, for one, I had to hear your side of the story, which I have to admit, is surprisingly similar to what I learned this morning. But most of all, if you couldn't trust me enough to tell me who you are, then it didn't matter; it wasn't going to work anyway," he replied.

"Just a second. You didn't _figure it out_ this morning, you _learned_ this morning?" I confirmed, sensing my body begin to tense in reaction to this new discovery.

"Yes," he whispered, looking down.

I looked at him. "Exactly how did you did you learn this?"

"Mmtesmt mmsge" he mumbled.

"Jasper?" I asked again, my voice strained. "How did you learn what I am?"

He sighed. "Text message."

_Text message? Who? What? Why? Who? Why? Who? And more importantly, who? And WHY? _

He dug around in his pocket and pulled out his phone. I tried to be patient while he slowly opened it, pulled up the message, and then showed it to me.

The message had just one word: _Vampire. _

"Yeah, I don't know who sent it. I don't know the telephone number, but I got it around 8:30 this morning. And I Googled 'vampire' but it didn't really coincide with what I knew of you, so I thought I'd better hear the truth from you."

I heard Jasper talking, but barely registered his words in the back of my mind.

Who had sent that text? There were only five possibilities. And only one was remotely likely. Alice.

She was so inexplicably excited about the presence of Jasper in my life, that she betrayed my trust and meddled in my affairs in a way that could have meant disaster to our entire family.

I took a moment to calm down and steady my voice before asking to see Jasper's phone. I had to see that Alice was the one who sent the text message.

He hesitated but eventually handed it to me. I clicked the button that would scroll down through the message and allow me to see the sender's phone number at the bottom. As I suspected I would, I recognized the number instantly. Except it wasn't Alice's.

_Emmett?_

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

I pulled my car into our driveway and was out of it before the engine had the chance to come to a complete stop.

"_Emmett!" _I bellowed.

"Shhh! For god's sake!" Emmett said, instantly at my side. "Be quiet or Rosalie will hear you!"

I was crouched to attack, but his words stopped me short.

"Wait. Rosalie doesn't know?" I asked.

"Uh, yeah, right, like she'd understand," he replied.

I stood up. "Understand _what? _What the hell were you thinking?"

"Dude! Relax, man! It's not like you were steppin' up to the plate. Someone needed to help you," he said.

"Help me what? You're insane!" I was furious. "How could you tell him?"

"Edward! Geez, I thought you'd thank me. I was trying to help you! Since you didn't have the balls, I decided to intervene. My god, you wore _makeup_ today. No brother of mine is going to wear Revlon if I have anything to say about it. So I texted him while Alice was applying that shit to your face," he explained. "And clearly he was fine with it because you were gone all day on your little date. I've seen the way he looks at you—he wasn't going to say anything. It's time, man, you gotta move forward, and I just gave you two a little push. So there, you're welcome."

"Emmett, you had no right to tell him," I growled.

"Well, you weren't gonna score until he knew, and you've been shut out for 90 fucking years. I was just trying to help a brother get laid!" he replied testily.

And at that moment we heard a screech followed closely thereafter by an impressive string of obscenities coming from the direction of Emmett and Rosalie's bedroom. She'd heard him.

"Shit." Emmett cursed. "I try to do you a favor and now I'm the one who is fucked."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Whether Jasper knew it or not, he was the cause of many Cullen family meetings, and the latest was no exception.

Fortunately for me, Emmett's revelation seemed to place him in the hot seat. Yet every time Rosalie glared at him, or we considered difficult decisions that would affect all of our lives, the guilt weighed heavily on my shoulders. After all, I'd revealed the unmentionable as well, and we would never have been in this mess to begin with had I never befriended Jasper. But each time I opened my mouth to try to take my portion of the blame, Emmett kicked me underneath the table.

After the fifth time, he discretely leaned over and breathed, "Don't worry, I got this one. She'll get over it."

Of course, he whispered it in Pig Latin, but who was I to complain? I shot him a grateful look and mouthed my thanks.

During the meeting it was decided that a sudden relocation on our part was no longer an answer. Even if Jasper swore never to tell our secret, we couldn't ensure that he would keep that promise. And if we disappeared suddenly, he might have even less incentive to keep silent. Rosalie made sure to remind us that even with the best intentions, Jasper might share a little too much unintentionally under the influence of alcohol considering we already knew that the beverage tended to embolden him.

There was also talk of "eliminating" the problem by a small yet vocal minority. I was glad that this option was dismissed rather abruptly.

My family eventually came to the conclusion that for the time being at least, the best we could do was carefully monitor the situation and let Jasper's actions guide our own. And because Jasper and I were due to return to campus within the next 48 hours, it would be up to me to ensure Jasper's silence once we got there. And I would do so through near-constant surveillance. All of my standard tasks, from homework to showers to hunting, would need to be done as he slept. The rest of the time, I was to be listening intently while remaining hidden in his shadow.

While I thought that this was a bit unnecessary, I found I was pleased to have the excuse to constantly keep watch over Jasper.

I was downright insulted, however, by the suggestion that I should undergo training from my siblings on how to effectively monitor the man who was already becoming the new center of my world. Unfortunately, my protests were overruled by Carlisle, who went on about how it wouldn't hurt me to learn a few things about subtlety.

I don't know what he was talking about.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

By the time our meeting was over, it was late afternoon and I was restless. I needed space and the opportunity to consider the surprising events of the day. So as soon as I was able, I took off for the hills.

Emmett caught up with me only a mile or so from our house. As we ran through the forest together, I thanked him again for taking more than his share of the blame for our family's predicament.

"Hey, man, no problem. I wanted to help, and I know you don't believe me, but that's why I sent the original text message," he said as he reached over and punched my shoulder. "Besides, now Rosie is pissed and I fucking love angry sex," he explained.

That was Emmett alright, ever the epitome of subtlety.

"You had to go there?" I asked

"I'm always there," he laughed as he dodged a large spruce. "I just hope you get to visit soon too."

I shook my head as he grinned and waved goodbye before turning and heading back toward home. For my part, I continued my journey, running toward the place that now called to me now more than ever.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

I soon arrived in my meadow for the second time in a matter of hours.

I sat on the ground and leaned against the fallen tree where Jasper had sat earlier that day. It was now sunset, but his scent was still embedded in the wood and wafted lightly in the air around me. I rested my cheek where he'd sat, and took a deep breath, enjoying his particular bouquet. I could almost feel the heat where he'd warmed the now lifeless tree as he sat and questioned me.

I replayed the reactions I'd seen on his expressive face. He'd been surprised at times, concerned at others, but never scared, and never filled with the hatred or disgust I deserved to see in his features.

Instead he sat in this place, matching the glorious scenery around us point for point with his own strength, beauty, and understanding beyond my wildest imagination. But while I'd sat with him today I had been so focused on answering his questions that I hadn't reveled in the vision before me. Now I reached back for the images I'd carefully cataloged.

I remembered his blue-gray eyes lit with wonder as they reflected the prisms of light bouncing off my cold body.

I saw him as he had sat on the log with the sunlight streaming through his blond curls, the amber waves perfectly framing his ruddy cheeks. What was it about him that was so golden, so full of unending light?

The setting sun cast its own warm light across the frozen land, yellow dancing and sparkling across cold, hard crystal blues. The effect was mesmerizing. Light reflected and multiplied while the ice remained unyeilding. Was the connection I felt with Jasper the same as the visual image before me? Did I merely crave an impossible thaw, or could I actually multiply his light, and somehow be good for him for as long as he crossed my path while personally remaining forever frozen in time?

I tilted my head to the sun and felt it warm my face as it sped to the horizon. I wanted to chase it, running west, as fast as I could, to stay within the reach of the golden rays. It was the closest approximation I had to actually touching Jasper.

Suddenly feeling the sun on my face seemed ridiculously insufficient. I burned with a sudden desire to feel it's golden warmth everywhere on my body.

I thought for a moment. Why not?

I stood up and glanced around. It was needless; my mind unconsciously monitored all life within a five mile radius, but the reaction was instinctual.

After verifying I was alone but for a few small rodents and one rabbit, I carefully reached to remove my jacket, which I folded and placed on the fallen tree behind me. Next, I slowly pulled my sweater and placed it neatly with my coat. I was rewarded when I felt the warm sun hit my now-exposed forearms. I decided to continue by removing my t-shirt, and soon I added it to the growing pile of discarded clothing.

I felt the rays of light now spread across my bare chest, all the sweeter for its infrequency. For ones such as myself, brazen exposure was a rarity indeed. I basked motionless in the golden warmth.

But still, it wasn't enough.

I decided to further bare myself to the light, wanting it to blanket me from head to toe. I removed my pants and shoes and placed them with the other clothing.

I hesitated. WWCD, I wondered. What would _Carlisle_ do? Should I remove my last article of clothing?

I decided that I could. Slowly, more slowly than even a human, I took off my boxers and placed them with the others.

And then I stood and faced the setting sun, watching the rays reflect off of the angles and planes of my body, scattering light in all directions.

I moved back to lean against a tree that Jasper must have brushed against, for his scent clung to its branches. Being mid-winter, there was no shade from this elm, but neither did I wish there to be.

I urged the sun to touch me, cover me with warmth and light.

I closed my eyes. The beauty of the sunset was no match for my Jasper, whose face was a thousand times more brilliant in my memory.

A slight breeze tickled across my naked form, cooling my skin where the sun dared to warm it the slightest degree. The wind's gentle caress woke my nerves, however, and in combination with the scent Jasper had left behind, and the images of him that I played behind my closed lids, I felt my body responding.

And I wanted to know.

So I slowly ran my hand down my chest, and refusing to think of anything but Jasper, continued moving it further down to my hip and then in to where I was most sensitive. I gasped slightly as I ran my palm gently, experimentally, along my length for the first time.

Instinct warred with my early-20th century sense of propriety.

But as it turns out, propriety be damned. Once is not enough. I did it again.

And again.

And again.

And a thousand times more.

Soon, I was stroking myself rhythmically as images of the human danced across my mind.

I experimented with angles, pressure, and speed as I replayed scenes of my time with Jasper. My hand moved languidly when I recalled seeing him in the firelight at my house while he wore my sweater. When I remembered how he'd licked the blueberry juice off his lips in the diner, however, my movements sped up. And then, when I'd put my head to his, smelling his breath and feeling his warmth while he dozed, well, the memory pulled at my heart as I uncovered the secret pleasure of a slight tug provided by my left hand in conjunction with the activity of the right.

I discovered one of my favorite images was that of Jasper's lips. I had known this previously, of course. But I soon learned that extended thoughts of his mouth in my vulnerable state caused me to moan aloud.

And I learned that with increasing speed, came a pressure that rose steadily in my abdomen, threatening to overflow, but held in check with a slower speed and a lighter touch.

But it was when I began to wonder whether Jasper had figured out this type of pleasure as well that the pressure boiled over.

And I came.

And my toes learned to curl. My hips, to thrust. My back to arch, and my muscles to clench in a rhythm older than the oldest.

And then it was over.

I opened my eyes after a moment. The sun had set and I realized I was in darkness. I realized I actually felt a bit silly. With no sun to warm me, being naked in a meadow, dripping venom, seemed foolish.

It could be argued that the act was completely necessary. Certainly it was not _un_pleasant. But as my orgasm drained me of some tension, it also left me emptier than before.

And I didn't want to be empty for Jasper.

I wouldn't do it again, I vowed. I would not focus on self-pleasure, but on his.

I threw on my clothing, and took off running toward a house that wasn't my own, knowing full well I'd be spending the remainder of the evening perched motionless in a large evergreen. Surveillance, it seemed, would come naturally. I yearned to see him.

I knew now that it was more fulfilling just to be in his presence than to try to make due with a substitute. Even a glimpse of Jasper was worth far more than memories mixed with the caress of sunlight on my skin.

The rest of the world could revolve around the sun, but nothing less than Jasper himself would be the center of my existence.

* * *

_A/N: I'm sad to report that Emmett didn't get any when he got home from running with Edward. _

_After all, Rosalie knows damn well that Emmett likes angry sex. And this wasn't exactly a "Fuck you, Emmett, you said you weren't thirsty then you drank half of my grizzly, you lazy ass" situation, for which the easy solution was that Emmett would make it up to Rosalie by satisfying her in many other ways for the next four to six hours or until she no longer cared about the bear, all the while proving he wasn't a lazy ass. _

_No, this was more of a "Fuck you, Emmett, you could have just destroyed my family, my security, and my chance to live forever with your stupid ass, because you wanted my brother to get laid" situation. _

_So when Emmett offered to make it (up) to Rosalie, she simply explained that if he brought his fucking cock anywhere the fuck near her, she'd fucking rip off his hairy-ass balls and shove them where the sun don't fucking shine, which could have technically been just about anywhere in Forks, but Emmett was quite sure the location she envisioned was within arm's reach, and so he decided to back the fuck off and try again later._


	11. Chapter 11: The spy who loved me

**Said and done**

**Chapter 11: The spy who loved me**

_A/N: Woot woot! Here is your bonus chapter for the week!_

_The song for this chapter is the theme song from "James Bond: Goldeneye." Hehe. :)  
__It is available at: www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=mOgFS6AYoVc or, as always, just click the link in my profile._

_Stephenie Meyer owns everything you recognize. Rated M for mature themes and eventual slash. _

_Thank you, thank you, thank you, TwilightMundi, for lending your fantastic beta skills to this story again and again._

_And to my readers, thank you so much for reading and favoriting and reviewing. Seriously. It means a lot! And I really am so glad these guys crack you all up as much as they do me! (Wait, did I just say "they do me"? Sigh. Don't I wish.)_

* * *

"Cullen. Edward Cullen," I practiced saying in my best Bond voice while Rosalie stole my baby's innocence.

She emerged from under my Volvo a few moments later.

"There, all set," Rosalie said as she wiped her hair off her face and slammed shut the hood.

"Ummm... was that really necessary?" I asked.

My siblings were taking my Jasper-surveillance training a bit more seriously than I'd hoped, and Rosalie had just finished the last of her "tweaks" to my poor car.

I wasn't sure how the new ejector seats, anti-aircraft missiles, a homing device, a self-destruct mechanism, and the ability to transform into a submarine were necessary for following Jasper around campus, but Rosalie hadn't asked my opinion in the matter.

"Edward, it's the best I could do with a Volvo. Now, I didn't give you a car phone, so just keep your cell on you at all times and you should be set. Too bad we're still a few years away from a reasonably-functional adaptive camouflage," she sighed.

"Yeah, too bad," I agreed, rolling my eyes. My break was over; it was time to return to Alice's room where she had already begun working on the next phase of my transformation into a first-class spy.

I left Rosalie admiring her work, and headed inside.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"My god! What is it with you and makeup?" Emmett asked as he entered Alice's room a little while later.

"It's her fault," I said, pointing at Alice.

"Dude. _Not okay._ How many times do I have to tell you?" he asked.

"Yeah, Alice, come on. The rest of this is enough already, don't you think?" I said, motioning around me at the piles of new wigs, false mustaches and beards. There were enough facial hair pieces on the floor for my beards to have beards. "I don't need to wear makeup again!"

"That's exactly right," Emmett agreed emphatically. "You do not._"_

"But Jasper will recognize you if you don't!" Alice whined.

I sighed for the 56th time that day. Alice had put herself in charge of my disguises, should I need them to be able to follow Jasper around unnoticed. Apparently she didn't trust my innate ability to run faster than humans could see.

And even more unfortunately, she felt the need to show me how to apply makeup to further conceal my identity, not believing my new hair pieces and new wardrobe items to be sufficient. And speaking of new wardrobe items, if I was going to have to dress differently, I was hoping she'd at least toss in a few Bond-esque suits or maybe shoe-phones. But no such luck. Judging by the clothing she'd chosen, she seemed to think I'd have more luck masquerading as various Village People.

Thankfully, Emmett seemed to disagree with Alice, as he yanked me from her grip and pulled me toward the front door to begin the next phase of my training.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

When I reached the front yard, Emmett greeted me with the spray from our water hose, which he'd turned up full blast and aimed directly at my face.

I glared at him, but before I could threaten bodily damage he had turned it off and put it back behind the house.

"Waterproof mascara, my ass," he muttered as I wiped the remains of Alice's work on the sleeve of the hideous orange flannel shirt she'd outfitted me in.

After I was fairly certain all traces of the offensive substances were removed from my skin, I looked up at him.

"Much better," he affirmed. "Now we can begin 'Operation Shaken, Not Stirred.' "

And with that, we proceeded to practice leaping small trees, sneaking up on forest creatures, scaling rocky cliffs one-handed, all before heading out to the ocean for some swimming, as Emmett claimed I needed work on my breast stroke.

After swimming, we returned home and Emmett handed me a scarf covered in a delightful pattern of Sesame Street characters. He then squatted next to a mountain of snowballs stored carefully behind a wall of ice and snow he must have built earlier. It was apparently my job to run through the woods and let him hurl snowballs at me while I was blindfolded. Apparently this would allow me to practice ducking behind trees, and running between bushes unseen while dodging rapid-fire ice chunks aimed at my head.

And finally, we ended with an intense game of tag, though I suspect it had little to do with my training and that Emmett just wanted us to take turns chasing each other.

And after all of that, I dismissed myself from my training session, waving off Carlisle who evidently wanted to talk, so that I could shower and head to Jasper's.

It was Jasper's last night in his house before heading back to campus, and damned if I wasn't going to be in his pine tree enjoying the view.

The remainder of my secret agent spy training would wait another day. Tonight was ours. Or, at least, it was mine, because technically Jasper wasn't aware of my presence.

When I arrived at his house, I quickly scaled the evergreen and perched on the branch where I had sat and, well, almost done other things as well just a few days prior. I shook my head in disapproval for the actions I'd nearly taken here in this very tree. Jasper hardly deserved for me to defile his property like that.

I vowed yet again to never give in to my baser instinct in such a way again. After all, I'd gone 90 years without touching myself in such a way, so I could surely go another 90. The problem was, of course, that I would live far longer than that, and well, it had crossed my mind that the experience wasn't all that unpleasant. But, well, I'd just have to cross that bridge in 2099 or so. Until then, it was hands off.

It was dusk and Jasper had turned on the light in his bedroom, so I had a clear view of his activities. Apparently he was packing his things to return to campus. I admired his resourcefulness and solid planning as he rolled his clothes and expertly packed them into his duffel bag. I watched as he put his jeans in, and then some shirts, and then a sweater or two, and then—Hey, wait! That was my sweater he had in his hands!

Except I must have actually said the "Hey!" part, because he glanced out the window in my direction. To avoid being seen, I quickly dropped down a limb or two where I was more concealed among the branches but still had a decent view of the bedroom. I settled into my new space in time to hear him mutter "some loud-ass squirrel" before he went back to work. I watched as he lifted the sweater gingerly and smelled it... and was he? Why yes, he was. He was smiling. Well, I really liked the sweater, so I wasn't surprised that he did too.

Soon, he continued, tossing in balled socks, a few undershirts and then finished by folding several pairs of boxers and adding them to the bag. I decided then that you could learn a lot about a man by his choice of underwear. I wondered what mine said about me? I crinkled my nose, deciding at that moment to begin doing more of my own clothes shopping so my boxer selection resembled a bit more of my own taste instead of Esme's.

I watched as Jasper zipped up his bag and added it to another he must have packed earlier in the day. He then pulled out his laptop and sat on his bed and began to boot up the machine. I had to climb up a branch or two and move a bit further to the right to get a good enough angle to be able to see the screen clearly. But eventually I found a spot and watched as Jasper logged in, using the password "RidemCwb0y."

And my family thought I needed spy training. Ha! Five minutes with him, and I already had his computer password.

I watched as he called up Firefox and opened Google. He typed "vam" into the search bar, and in response it called up a list of terms from which he selected "vampires." Evidently this was not the first time he Googled the word. And judging by the websites he called up, it was also not the first time he'd been reading content that was largely, if not completely, incorrect about our kind.

I began to wonder what other misleading information he was reading, when he returned to the Google homepage.

But before he entered another search term he disappeared from his room for a few minutes. I listened carefully as I heard him wander to another part of the house, then I heard the running water and smelled the mint that indicated he was brushing his teeth. And then a few minutes later he returned to his bedroom wearing pajama pants... and little else. I watched him pad barefoot and bare-chested across his room and place his worn clothes in a neat pile in the corner.

But I couldn't concentrate on his tidiness because I suddenly realized I was seeing the most beautiful torso I'd ever seen. Ridiculous quantities of long limbs, bare muscles, and nipples (nipples!) stared me in the face.

I drooled a bit of venom before I realized what was happening. Unfortunately, the bit that dropped onto Jasper's tree killed that small section of the branch instantly. I wondered if I should send him a check to pay for the damages.

I turned my full attention back to the scene in front of me, and saw that Jasper was now lying on top of his bed with his laptop on his lap and his head propped up against his headboard. I watched fascinated as he stretched his arms above his head and then brought his hands down to his laptop, wiggling them around before typing: "E

And then he hesitated. For nearly a full minute he sat there drumming his keys on the side of his computer with his eyes closed.

And this was fine with me, because I was able to stare at his chest, which rose and fell slowly, creating an ever-changing landscape on which my eyes could feast. And that flat stomach! I had never seen such delightful angles. I longed to run my hand over the taut musculature.

While lost in my inexcusably lustful imaginings, I felt the angle of my branch shift ever-so-slightly; apparently I'd deadened another area of the limb with more of my venomous drool. I realized my mouth was wide open, so I abruptly shut it and wiped off my chin, though I could not seem to stop the warmth that grew in my stomach.

Suddenly, he opened his eyes and finished typing: "Edward Cullen" before hitting the Enter key.

I knew he'd find nothing on me. There was some silly young adult book character that shared my name and who received so much pop culture attention that Jasper could browse for days before finding anything related to me personally.

Still, he Googled me. It felt... naughty.

The warmth in my stomach grew further and I recognized the now-familiar feeling of my venom rushing to my groin.

So I was hard. So what? That didn't mean I had to do anything about it. I _would_ keep my promise.

I continued to stare at Jasper as I tried to ignore my growing problem. But at one point he raked his fingers across his chest, and I began to realize exactly how uncomfortable my situation was becoming. Still, I was unable to take my eyes off him. As I watched his tongue poking out of his mouth as he concentrated on his search, I felt myself straining against my clothing.

I became concerned that if I didn't take preventative action I might have big problems. Granted, as a vampire I was incredibly strong, but did that mean my erection was too? I wondered if it could literally rip through my clothing from straining too hard against it. I wished I'd asked Carlisle about that. It's not like Google would have an answer for me either, or I could have looked it up on my iPhone.

Well, the one thing I did know was that I wasn't anxious to run all the way home with the crotch of my jeans in shreds, so I decided it was best not to risk it. I unzipped my pants and lowered my boxers slightly to give myself additional room. But of course I was very careful not to touch anything sensitive in the process. Even with this unfortunate turn of events, namely, my need to commit indecent exposure due to the presence of Jasper's tongue, I was still determined to uphold my vow.

Feeling a bit freer now, I continued to enjoy the personal show Jasper was providing for me.

I soon realized I was further out on the limb than I had previously dared, all in an unconscious effort to be nearer to him, but what can I say? He was magnetic; he just drew me to himself. I was going to enjoy my surveillance assignment, I was certain of it.

While I wanted to risk getting closer still, I was afraid to stand further out on the limb that I had already damaged with my venomous drool. I decided it would be better for the tree limb if I spread my weight a bit by laying down on the branch, and as a bonus, I figured that way I could get even closer to Jasper's window without having to worry about being seen.

This seemed like a good idea, so I quickly lay down on the branch.

I gasped as my erection pressed against the soft, spongy wfood of the evergreen. It felt divine.

But I forced myself to lay perfectly still, not wanting anything to rub against anything else and create that unbelievable friction my body was telling me was absolutely necessary.

_Mind over matter, Edward. Mind over matter. _

I glanced up at Jasper, who was still poring through the Google search results. From this angle I could now see how his golden hair was practically glowing as the lamplight shone through it. And his scent, oh, his scent! And then I had a new appreciation for the slope of his chest as it moved into his stomach and how the latter then flowed seamlessly into the harsher angle of the top of his hips. His hips, of course, were largely covered by his pajama pants as was his—I whimpered and bucked my hips uncontrollably against the tree limb—his crotch.

_Sweetmotherofallthingsholy,thatfeltgood,canIdoitagainplease?_

And apparently not only was I unable to control my own hips, but my mind was beyond my grasp as well, because after a single glance at Jasper's groin, I was able to determine he was naked beneath those thin pajama pants.

A quick glance at his pile of clothing confirmed he had removed a pair of boxers when he was in the bathroom. And then I realized that he must have been naked just a few feet from me while he changed.

And so what if my hips slid a bit along the branch a few times, causing me to whimper while I came to that conclusion? I realized my initial vow had probably been made in such haste that it ought to be reconsidered. I really should have added a clause that stated that all absolutely uncontrollable actions, even if potentially masturbatory in nature, were permissible under certain extreme conditions.

That settled, I tried to remain as still as I reasonably could while I watched Jasper. As it turns out, this was not terribly still at all. I had to bite back more than one moan as my eyes continued feasting on Jasper and the pressure in my abdomen mounted as my crotch delighted in a little wood on wood action.

After a just a few minutes more, Jasper seemed to give up on Googling me. He closed his browser abruptly and ran his fingers through his hair while looking decidedly frustrated while he waited for his computer to shut down. After it did, Jasper climbed under his covers and reached over to turn out the light.

I then discovered that seeing Jasper asleep was no less pleasurable than watching him while he was awake. I rather liked his unconscious shifts and the light sighs he emitted at odd intervals.

His eyes fluttered, my hips jerked uncontrollably.

He rolled onto his back, I pressed my thighs into the tree limb.

His hair fell in his eyes, I rubbed against soft wood.

He licked his lips, I thrust into the branch.

It went on this way for a while until he actually moaned softly in his sleep. The sound cut through me and trailed a hot blaze down into my now-painful erection. A final buck of my hips and I came, emptying my poison into the slight divot I'd created thrusting into the tree limb.

And that's when I heard the branch begin to crack under my weight, my poison incinerating the tree's cells, killing and weakening the already-damaged wood. Horrified, I scrambled back to the tree trunk before the branch could fully snap, which it did mere seconds later.

The cracking sound must have woken Jasper, who jolted upright and muttered something like "what is it with the fucking squirrels around here?" before yawning, laying down once again, and finally drifting off to sleep once more.

I stood motionless against the tree trunk, mortified with my actions. I'd done exactly what I'd sworn I would not do, not to mention the fact that I'd damaged someone else's property, and woke Jasper from his well-deserved sleep.

It wasn't until long after I was confident Jasper was again fast asleep, that I dared to move. I hurriedly pulled up my boxers, zipped my pants, jumped to the ground, and took off running toward home. I was quite sure I'd already far overstayed my welcome.

_

* * *

__A/N: Because you all seem to love my author's notes so much and even though I am sure he would prefer I didn't, I can't help but share with you exactly what Emmett did after he spent the day "training" Edward on the physical skills he thought his brother might need to monitor Jasper effectively through the most demeaning physical exercises he could dream up._

_After Edward left the house, Emmett visited Alice's room and under the pretense of being helpful, offered to carry all of Edward's new disguises (e.g., clothing, makeup, and hairpieces) to his brother's room for him. With eyebrow raised, Alice showed Emmett the pile, and he quickly picked up the items and left his sister's room, avoiding her disbelieving gaze. _

_It turns out Alice was right to be skeptical, because instead of taking the supplies to Edward's room, Emmett took them to his own. After closing the door to his room, Emmett locked it behind him, which was technically unnecessary because Rosalie still wasn't getting anywhere near him and his fucking cock and hairy-ass balls thanks to his indiscreet text message, and if she had wanted to, the lock on their door would have done absolutely no good anyway. _

_Regardless, Emmett locked the door and sifted through the pile of disguises until he pulled out the small makeup kit Alice had included for Edward. Emmett hesitated, undeniably curious about the cosmetics. After all, both his sisters and Esme wore the stuff, and now Edward did too, apparently. What exactly was the draw?_

_He decided to find out. He emulated the way Rosalie applied the stuff, mimicking the order she used and choosing colors complimentary to his skin tone. He started with a light coating of foundation before moving to powder, and eye liner. Then came the mascara, which he applied in multiple coats with his mouth opened wide, before curling his lashes carefully. Then he sucked in his cheeks while he applied the blush, and finally moved to the trio of taupe eye shadows. And last but not least, he chose a stunning crimson lip color that he applied liberally to pursed lips before blotting them twice on a tissue. And then he was finished, so he looked in the mirror, and studied the impressive effects the makeup had on his skin, softening his features and bringing out the gold flecks in his eyes._

_And then he realized that he was actually a man, so he quickly jumped out the window and ran around the side of the house to get the same garden hose he'd used on his brother so he could remove the evidence of his experimentation._

_But if there was anyone who could recognize the sounds of a mascara wand running through delicate lashes, or the delicious scrape of an eye liner pencil against an eyelid, it was Alice. So she simply met Emmett outside, turning on the hose full blast in preparation for his arrival. When he rounded the corner of the house, he was met first by the clicking of her digital camera, which snapped photos that she would later place in the Cullen family photo album next to those of Edward spewing Coke bubbles on their front lawn, and then by a stream of water similar in pressure and temperature to the one with which he had hit his brother a few hours prior._

_That was the point when Emmett recognized that payback truly was a bitch._


	12. Chapter 12: Roles and responsibilities

**Said and done**

**Chapter 12: Roles and responsibilities**

_A/N: Uh, yeah. Some James Bond references in the last chapter. So if something seemed really wacky, it may have been because it came from a Bond movie. Wait, what? The whole chapter was insane so how can you tell what was weird because it came from a classic movie and what was weird because ICMezzo is obviously smoking something she ought not?_

_Good point, and I have no idea. Guess you'll have to Google it._

_Also, sorry for the delay in posting. Been dealing with a wrist injury so typing is slow at best. However, I did post my Twi25 challenge drabbles last week. If you're interested in reading them, they're posted under my profile. Let me know which is your favorite!_

_The song for this chapter is "You Are the One" by Shiny Toy Guns. It is available at: _www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=3QUHVr7-Juk _or just click the link in my profile._

_Thanks, as always, to beta TwilightMundi for kicking grammatical ass. You rock!_

_Stephenie Meyer owns everything you recognize. Rated M for mature themes and slash. _

* * *

I had barely taken three steps onto the edge of our property when I heard Carlisle's voice.

"Please meet me in my office, Edward."

Shoot. I frowned and quickly made my way to Carlisle's office. I had hoped to have a bit of time to myself to think things over before seeing any of my family members.

It turns out I had a few more minutes to myself than I realized I would. When I arrived in Carlisle's doorway, he took one look at me and sent me to shower. I was to come back after I'd cleaned up.

It wasn't until Carlisle reacted to my appearance that I thought to look down. Not only had my shirt come untucked, but I was covered in dirt, my pants had splinters in them, my zipper was halfway down and I had more than one leaf stuck in my hair. No wonder he decided to give me a few minutes.

After returning myself to some semblance of order, I returned to Carlisle.

This time when he entered, he directed me to sit. I could tell he was being careful with his words. He spoke deliberately, and his face was strained.

"Did you touch him?" he finally asked.

"Me? Touch Jasper? Today? No," I replied, confused.

His face visibly relaxed at my response. "Oh, thank goodness," he said. "I was afraid..." Carlisle trailed off.

"Afraid of what?" I asked. "I can't read your mind you know."

He paused. "Afraid it was too late."

"Oh," I replied. Carlisle was right to be concerned. I mentally berated myself for not putting Jasper's safety first and leaving him alone entirely in the first place.

I coughed. "No, he's fine," I finally reaffirmed.

Carlisle nodded. "Then let's make sure he stays that way, shall we? I saw you've uh, made some progress physically this evening. But progress without guidance could be dangerous, don't you agree?"

I quickly agreed, though I looked at the floor, slightly embarrassed by the realization that Carlisle had likely guessed the earlier behavior in which I'd engaged, and then of course, I was completely mortified by the thought of what guidance my father might soon be sharing with me.

Carlisle cleared his throat. This couldn't be easy for him either. "Okay, well, do you have any questions?"

I debated for a moment. Should I man up and ask Carlisle everything I wanted to know? Or do I just let him talk? I decided it was time to act like an adult.

So I opened my mouth and... out it came.

"Yes, well, I was wondering, is it safe to hold Jasper's hand? To hug him? Those are okay, right? What about, uh, a kiss. Is that okay? What about, uh, other things? What's safe and what isn't? I mean, I don't know, but I kinda think he's attracted to me, and I should probably know if it ever comes up? And what about my venom? I mean, I just broke a tree, and I don't want to break Jasper."

I pictured some accidental drooling on my part and how it could cause damage to one of Jasper's limbs. I fretted for a moment before additional questions bubbled over. "And, yeah, I, uh, learned how to well, take care of myself, but, uh, I didn't really, I mean, I didn't feel, I don't want to feel that again but I want to feel that again. What's wrong with me? Most people like doing that, don't they? Don't get me wrong, it felt good, but it sort of felt rude...?"

I paused to assess Carlisle's reaction to my litany. He was sitting with his elbows on his desk and his face buried in his hands. Well, that wasn't promising. Still, there was so much more I wanted to know. I decided to continue.

"Well, I think Jasper might want to be my boyfriend. Does that make me gay? Are there other gay vampires? And are humans and vampires even allowed to have relationships? How is it okay? I mean, the Volturi, I don't want to get Jasper into trouble because I couldn't keep my pants zipped in his pine tree." I glanced at Carlisle who was now shaking slightly. Crap. I hadn't meant to tell him about the pine tree. Still, I was just getting started. Well, at least if I didn't have to look into his eyes perhaps I had a fighting chance of getting these questions out.

"And I mean, duh, of course I know how people have sex and how vampires, you know, have sex. But how do humans and vampires have sex? What about gay humans and vampires? I tried Googling it, but of course there was nothing useful." I shuddered remembering the links I'd uncovered. "Yeah, so can we even do that? Because everyone seems to think it is pretty nice, and you know, in case the occasion ever arose, I thought maybe it would be good to know what was possible... if anything... and if it is possible, maybe you have some tips? Is that weird to ask? I guess I could ask Emmett... "

Carlisle took a deep breath and looked up at me. It looked like he was trying very hard to keep a straight face, but there was laughter in his eyes. Well, fine, I thought, don't take me and my human seriously. Is this the sort of prejudice we're up against? I couldn't believe my father was laughing at me. This was serious! How else was I supposed to find out how to have sex?

But before I could get even more worked up, Carlisle started to talk. "Well, I—"

"Oh, and also, Jasper wanted to know how the first vampire was created. Do you happen to know?" I cut Carlisle off. I'd forgotten about that one.

"In order?" he asked me. I told him that was fine.

He paused for a split-second. "Do you mind if I pretend these are all theoretical questions only?"

I shrugged.

"Okay then. Here goes nothing," he said. "Yes, as long as you are careful, you should be fine. Same answer to the second question. Just... really be careful you don't squeeze too hard. You'll break ribs or cause any number of other injuries. But generally, yes, you should be safe hugging and holding hands. As for kissing, keep your lips closed and you have nothing to worry about. Well, of course, it would be best not to press too hard either. As for other things, your main concern must always be your venom, of course."

I nodded. I knew this. I was well aware that my venom incinerated living cells upon contact.

"Right. So as much as you need to be careful not to _break _Jasper, you also need to be exceedingly vigilant about your venom. There are a few things that can help in that department, however. But we'll get there. As for the fact that you learned how to take care of your uh, need, that's fantastic. In terms of what it felt like, if you thought it was unpleasant physically, then I suppose we can talk about that, but I'm fairly certain that's not what you meant. Judging by the state of your pants when you walked in the door, I assume you figured out the physical part out well enough. I think that perhaps the act just wasn't as fulfilling to you emotionally as it was physically. And that's okay. You may need to take care of those things separately. And of course there's nothing wrong with you, and doing _that _is not rude or immoral or anything else your parents may have told you 90 years ago. That's an outdated belief you need not subscribe to. That said, destroying someone's pine tree or other property is quite rude, but—"

"Well, I thought maybe I should send them a check to cover the damages?" I asked.

That stopped him for a moment. "Exactly_ how much _damage did you _do? _You know what? Never mind. I don't want to know. If it was that bad, perhaps just mail them some cash without a return address."

I nodded. That would work.

"Okay, now, where were we? I also think there is a strong possibility Jasper will want you to be his boyfriend at some point. And if you decide to do that, it doesn't mean anything more than you decide it does. It makes you, you. There are indeed other gay vampires, and they seem to be entirely happy. I'm not sure that I know of any that are vegetarians, but I could ask around if you like. As for humans and vampires having relationships, that's tricky, as I'm sure you can imagine. It is more common than I'd like that vampires have relations with humans, but the human rarely survives such encounters. I'm sure I don't need to go into detail?"

I shook my head. I knew the stories.

"I'm sure vampire law probably does not condone relationships with humans, seeing that it would mean our identity would most likely be compromised. So I am sure, technically, having a relationship with Jasper is probably not a good idea. However, Esme and I have discussed it and believe in you and your decisions and happiness. And we believe you'll make the right decisions and do the right thing and that somehow this will work out for you. I am sure that deep-down your siblings agree though their antics might indicate otherwise."

I frowned. Not that I didn't want to believe him, but he was putting altogether too much faith in me.

"As for the rest of your questions," Carlisle paused and cleared his throat. "Well... I guess..."

"God, Carlisle, just tell him about butt sex!" Emmett called from downstairs.

Then I heard someone smack Emmett with some sort of rolled magazine or newspaper.

"What? Do you have a problem with butt sex?" his voice boomed through the house.

A half-second later Alice hissed, "No, you ass, it's just that now they know we're listening!"

Carlisle rolled his eyes while I sighed. Must everything be a family affair?

"Oh Carlisle, how do vampires and humans have sex?" Emmett quoted me in a high-pitched voice.

"Very carefully!" Rosalie answered back before cracking up with the rest of my siblings. I think I even heard Esme snicker from the other end of the house. Good god.

Carlisle looked at me. "Do you want to finish this conversation outside?"

"Sure," I stood up to leave through Carlisle's window with him when the door to the office burst open and my brother burst into the room.

"No way. I'll take it from here," Emmett said, entering the office. "Don't worry. I got this Carlisle."

"Edward?" Carlisle asked.

"Uh, okay?" I agreed as Emmett pulled me out the window and across our lawn and deep into the woods, the full moon lighting our way.

I knew we'd be running for awhile. I knew from years of experience that Emmett was just better at communicating while doing so.

We ran in silence for a few minutes before Emmett finally started talking.

"Okay, you've got three things to consider if you wanna do the nasty with Jasper, and that's not even taking into account the fact that you are constantly gonna want to drink him. That's just a given. Anyway, the first is easy. Just don't break him, crush him, stab him, etc. But you know that. The next thing to consider is who's gonna top and who's gonna bottom."

He glanced over at me to verify I knew exactly what he meant by that. Apparently he was unconvinced, because he stopped short and crudely demonstrated. I watched him out of the corner of my eye while pretending to ignore his actions. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction, but I wasn't exactly in the situation to be turning down any information whatsoever either.

I found that his exaggerated ass-slapping was a nice touch as he illustrated the "top" role, but as for his "bottom" demo, well, I just wasn't sure humans could even bend like that.

After his little show he ran to catch up with me. "Okay, well, you have to think about it? I'm not even going to begin to tell you how that's going to work, or how you want to handle all that or what Jasper's prefers," he grimaced. "But let me just say that I have no idea how in the fucking world a human would be strong enough to top a vampire."

I picked my chin up off the ground. "Oh, well, I hadn't really thought, I mean, I don't know, I mean...really?"

"That's okay," he said as he punched my arm. "You can try anything you want, but I'm just sayin', that shit's tight."

I had no words.

Luckily, he seemed as eager as I was glad to leave the subject behind after that. I just wasn't sure I was ready for any of this after all. I mean, everyone always seemed to indicate that sex was so great, but, I could barely think about it and I certainly couldn't imagine Jasper considering such a thing.

Emmett must have read the doubt written across my features. "Trust me, Eddie-boy, he's thought about it."

I looked up. How could he know that? Emmett swatted me on the ass and took off even faster toward the east. "You're the only male who doesn't think about sex constantly. And if you're the way he swings, he's envisioned it many a time, bro."

And thinking about _that_ made me run directly into a large spruce, damaging my second tree in about four hours.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

My talk with Emmett was actually somewhat enlightening. After peeling me off the side of the tree, it was time to talk venom.

"Trojans are your best friend," Emmett had said. Before I could begin to consider why I ought to befriend several long-dead Greeks, he continued. "Durex, Lifestyles, whatever you can find." He stared down at my groin for a moment. I moved to cover myself but he had already looked away and was smirking. "You're a Large. You can buy 'em in bulk online." He then said he'd offer some of his to me but that they'd be too big, given that he was an extra large. Though we were apparently at the stage where it was okay to peruse each other's groins, I decided it was still impolite to question him further on the matter.

"Seriously, if you get venom on him it's gonna burn. Just don't. As long as you stay with synthetic products you'll be fine and the venom won't get through. But anything organic, including your boy's hand, mouth, anywhere," he paused and shuddered. "Anywhere that you get venom, he'll pay the price."

"How do you even _know_ this?" I asked incredulously.

"Rosalie told me. Apparently those Denali sisters seem to have a decent amount of fun with those rugged Alaskan men, and it's the same whether you're a dude or a chick. Venom is venom. And apparently, if you're human, it ain't good."

"Well, that's uh, great, Emmett... thanks," I said, thinking we were finished. Evidently, I was incorrect.

"I thought you wanted tips?" he asked.

"Uh, no, I think I'm good," I explained. I had had enough. If Jasper and I ever got to the point where I might need a tip, I knew I could call Emmett. But after all of the dangers and decisions now crowding my mind, I seriously doubted I'd need his advice anytime soon, if ever.

"Oh thank god. I was starting to wonder how long I could keep talking about this with a straight face," he grinned as we turned back to begin our journey back toward the house.

"Wait, Emmett? Actually, I did have just one more little question," I asked hesitantly. "I just wanted to know, can I kiss him? Because that's sort of all I really want to do right now, but Carlisle said it was okay with our mouths closed. I guess that means I should keep mine shut at all times, right? Because of the venom?"

I sighed. I'd never noticed before, but this whole being highly-venomous thing had the potential to be a real drag.

"It depends on whether your man likes his tonsils to tingle. From what the girls told Rosalie, as long as you swallow all the excess venom in your mouth, it shouldn't actually hurt a human when you kiss, but apparently it might feel pretty tingly, and he might be a bit swollen afterward, sort of like a mild allergic reaction."

I nodded. I wondered what Jasper would think of that. Because as long as it didn't permanently damage his lips or hurt too badly if I kiss them, I sort of wanted to do just that.

"Thanks Emmett, I owe you," I told him seriously.

"No prob. I just couldn't picture Carlisle trying to explain pitching and catching. But will you do me a favor? Plug your ears for a moment," he said.

I did, and started humming one of my favorite Debussy sonata motifs to help further block out any sound.

But even through my hands, I could hear Emmett's string of profanities ring out clearly through the night air.

_Pussy, breasts, nipples, cunt..._

In an apparent attempt to reassert his heterosexuality, he called out every term he could think of related to a woman's anatomy for all the world to hear.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

After returning home with Emmett, armed with all sorts of new information, it was time to pack my things and return to campus.

I departed the next morning following a tearful good bye from Esme, a hug and a good luck wish from Carlisle, a punch from Emmett, a sloppy, lipsticky smootch on the cheek from Alice and a "if that boy breathes a word and I have to move again I swear I will tear you limb from limb and set fire to your remains," from Rosalie, which probably sounds more vicious than it was. After all, her threat was pretty much standard operating procedure for vampires. Also, she patted me on the head while saying it.

My siblings would all be returning to their separate campuses within the next few days as well. I knew Alice was headed back on Wednesday and Rosalie and Emmett were leaving the following weekend. I wondered if Esme and Carlisle wouldn't enjoy the peace and quiet for awhile.

After getting back to my room, I unpacked my few toiletries and my clothing quickly. And then suddenly I was utterly bored. I suppose I could have gone and practiced the piano for a bit in the music school or perhaps played a computer game for awhile. But all I really wanted to do was see Jasper, of course.

I debated calling him and offering to help him unpack his things, but suddenly I worried he might read something into my call. What if he thought that it meant I wanted him to bottom? Not that I didn't, I wasn't sure what if anything I wanted, but what if he thought that was what I wanted? But then again, what if he thought I thought that was what _he_ wanted? Everything was suddenly so much more confusing. I really maybe just wanted to kiss Jasper a little bit, but suddenly everyone had to have a role and responsibilities and well, I just didn't know how to proceed at this point.

After debating whether placing and receiving a telephone call was an indication of sexual preferences for a few more minutes, I decided it was best to refrain for the time being, just in case.

While I booted up my laptop intending to purchase the books I'd need for my classes that semester, my own cell phone rang.

_Jasper._

Could I answer it? If I did, would he think that I wanted to be the bottom? Not that I didn't, I wasn't sure what if anything I wanted, but what if he thought that was what I wanted? But then again, what if he thought I thought that was what _he_ wanted?

During the second ring, I debated possibly letting the call go to voice mail and then calling him right back. Even I had trouble deciding what, if anything that could mean sexually.

But then, maybe Jasper would just think I wanted to both top _and _bottom. Oh dear. This was all far too confusing.

Ah, fuck it. I wanted to talk to Jasper.

"Hello?" I answered.

And then the most beautiful voice in the world asked me if I wanted to join him while he drank a beer.

I wasn't stupid. I knew that it meant I thought he thought I thought he thought I thought he thought I probably wanted to bottom, but I just didn't care. So I quickly agreed, and we settled on meeting a few hours later at a local pub.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

I couldn't stop grinning while I walked to meet Jasper at the pub later that day. I felt pretty good about things; after all, he had Googled me. Of course, I'd returned the favor, but he didn't know that. Also, it turns out that other than a posting that he was on his high school's honor roll and swim team nearly ten years prior, the Internet didn't have much to say on Jasper. I found that surprising. Had I been a reporter, I would have written so much about him. He was so... fascinating.

Also, I had been careful to select an outfit that I was fairly certain was not indicative of any sexual preferences. So all things considered, I was feeling confident about meeting Jasper.

When I arrived he was already seated with a beer in his hand. I quickly walked over, breathing deeply and letting his tantalizing aroma wash over me. It had been almost 24 hours since I'd last smelled him and it seemed far too long.

His face lit up when he saw me.

He was sunshine and warmth and soft gold curls.

If 24 hours was too long to go without smelling Jasper, it was way too long to go without seeing him. He sort of took my breath away, which was fine, because I suppose I didn't technically need it anyway.

I sat down with him and smiled when I saw he was drinking blueberry beer. Of course, Jasper immediately apologized for starting without me, but I assured him that it was fine. It wasn't like I'd be drinking anything.

We soon started talking about the start of our classes the next day, and how the end of our break had gone. He mentioned casually at one point that he thought he might sleep better back on campus, because the wildlife had been keeping him up recently. Considering it could have been nightmares of vampires that kept him awake, I counted myself fortunate that it was only my nocturnal activities in his pine tree that caused him any trouble sleeping. And I certainly was never going to do _that _again, I thought, recalling my vow.

All told, I found it rather amazing that he could just sit with me, without fear, and have a conversation. Of course, it wasn't a great location for him to be grilling me further about my identity, but I still hadn't fully come to grips with the fact that he simply wanted to spend time with me.

And I definitely did not read anything into his comment when he told me he liked my top.

A beer turned into three before it was time for Jasper to go.

Outside of the pub, he hugged me, as was becoming our customary goodbye. The hug was approximately 3.5 seconds longer than our previous one had been, however, so I felt like we were making a certain amount of progress. And I just loved the way he felt in my arms; his heartbeat always made me feel so alive.

When he left for his car he waved goodbye with a smile and a twinkle in his eyes, and I couldn't help but wonder what came next for Jasper and me. But for now, I simply called after him as he walked away. "I'll see you soon!"

For of course, I wouldn't be leaving him alone for very long.

_

* * *

_

A/N: Carlisle and Esme very much enjoyed their time alone after the "kids" all went back to school. Of course, for the first six hours, they cleaned and repaired all of their various property damaged by Edward, Rosalie, Alice and Emmett during the holidays. Then, after a leisurely hunting trip, the spent the next six hours simply standing and staring into each other's eyes. The next two and a half days were spent repeatedly making incredibly loud, fuckhot vampire love in every corner of the house and the kitchen twice, which makes perfect sense if you've ever seen Carlisle. I mean, I wouldn't kick him out of bed for drinking deer.


	13. Chapter 13: Sighs, sneezes, gasps, groan

**Said and done**

**Chapter 13: Sighs, sneezes, gasps, and groans**

_A/N: Do any of you own a boat? Just curious. Because now that it is summer, I would really like to make friends with someone who owns a boat. Particularly if it is docked in New England. Just saying._

_Also, yes, there is such a thing as blueberry beer. I guess I didn't realize it was regional. And, surprisingly, it isn't necessarily considered "girly." The novelty and deliciousness surpasses gender, I suppose._

_As always, thanks for reading, favoriting, alerting, reviewing, reccing, and all that other jazz you amazing readers do. Seriously, it makes me grin and want to hug you so hard. _

_The song for this chapter is "Help, I'm Alive" by Metric. It is available at: _www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=MVwOzd95YSk _or just click the link in my profile._

_As always, thanks to TwilightMundi for her excellent beta work and insight. I am ridiculously appreciative._

_Stephenie Meyer owns everything you recognize. Rated M for mature themes and slash. _

* * *

After saying goodbye to Jasper, I headed back to my room to change into some dark clothing. As soon as I had done so, I was again out the door, and on my way across campus. My destination was somewhere in the proximity of Jasper, but there was an important pit stop along the way—the resident director's office for graduate housing. For although I could have simply torn doors off hinges to gain access to Jasper's suite, I had decided that I had damaged enough property recently. Also, I was reluctant to climb through vents because they tended to be quite dirty.

When I reached the deserted housing office, I slipped in through an unlocked window, and quickly made my way to the closet containing the master keys. I found a few sets of keys labeled with the name of Jasper's building, so I pocketed one, and made my way back out the window and headed toward my Jasper.

I ducked into the shadows when I had gotten close enough to Jasper's building to both smell and hear him. Judging by the placement of the moon in the sky, it was approximately 8:01 p.m. Also, I could hear the introductory music to "Home Makeover: Extreme Edition" playing on a nearby television.

Jasper's room seemed fairly quiet. He must have been lying on his bed typing. I heard his mattress springs on occasion, as well as the sound of his fingers typing away on his laptop. Whatever it was that he was writing, I could tell he was struggling; I repeatedly heard the distinctive sound of a pinky hitting a backspace key.

I was happy to listen to Jasper from the shadows and smell his appealing scent from afar. But the thought of getting closer, perhaps close enough to watch him, became more and more enticing.

I glanced toward his window on the second floor. There _was _a tree nearby that I could have climbed, but his curtains were closed. So I supposed that option was out, and perhaps that was a good thing.

After another moment or two of thought, I decided that the only way to get closer was to actually go inside the building. Of course, I would have been given access through the front door by showing my campus ID to the security guard. However, I'd accidentally left my ID in the sexually-ambiguous pants I'd changed out of after meeting Jasper earlier in the evening.

Luckily though, I now possessed my own key, so I could simply use the building's back door. I thought for a minute about what Jasper would think of my using the rear entrance, but then decided that I'd better never tell him. It was far too easy to make assumptions based on that choice.

I darted to the back of the building and tried approximately three of the seven keys in my possession before I found the one that opened the creaking door for me. I cringed at the noise. It seemed impossibly loud to me, but I knew that unless a human was in my immediate proximity, I was probably safe.

Once inside I found myself in a very inglorious basement. I dodged the spider webs and avoided the stacks of cleaning supplies and random tools scattered about. I navigated my way to the stairs, and once I'd reached the top I reached for the door handle, hoping that there would be no lock preventing me from entering the public hallway on the other side. But before turned the knob I decided I had better listen for the presence of any humans that might happen to be on the other side of the door.

It was a good thing that I did, because unfortunately, the coast was not clear. Two students stood on the other side of the door chattering about the start of the classes the next day. In my impatience to get to closer to Jasper, I found myself rather frustrated at being forced to wait for them to finish this most mundane conversation.

And when two other students joined the first pair, I realized that luck was not on my side. At this point it would have been quicker to have just gone back to my room for my ID and used the front door.

But before I could decide whether this run of bad luck was enough to warrant completely calling off my Jasper-surveillance for the evening, I noticed that the humans had changed their topic of conversation to one I found a good deal more interesting.

They were discussing Jasper, or as they referred to him, "that guy in 24b." Except they apparently knew a different side of Jasper than I did.

"He's so hot," one of the girls giggled.

Okay, well, I knew that part. He was a scorching fire to me, of course.

"I hear he is unattached," said another girl. "At least, I never see anyone visit his room."

"Well, after last year, it's, like, no wonder. I'm surprised he's not, like, totally depressed," said the first.

_Wait, what? What happened last year?_

"I know, right? I'd have dropped out, I think," said a third girl.

"God, I'd be so depressed I'd want to kill myself," commented another.

_I gasped. For the love of god, what happened to Jasper?_

"I wonder where he went for Christmas?" asked the last girl.

I heard several sets of shoulder's shrug.

"Still though, he is totally hot," the first girl said again, and the others quickly agreed.

But I had enough by then. I couldn't listen to anything more. I was going crazy! What had happened to my Jasper?

I decided it was worth confusing a few undergrads to be free from my basement hideaway. After all, they were already at least a little confused; they thought Jasper was unattached.

I burst through the door and acted as though I was supposed to have been in the basement.

"Excuse me, ladies," I murmured as I walked past them, ignoring their gaping mouths, and brushing the cobwebs from my hair and the dust from my clothes. I'm sure they were wondering what I was doing behind the door marked "Staff only" but I wasn't sure I cared. Instead of directing one more ounce of my attention to the undergrads, I simply headed for the stairs that would lead to Jasper.

When I reached his floor, I gave a quick listen to see what his neighbors were up to. Their activities seemed relatively uninteresting. Two were clearly having sex, but most were either watching football, Skyping, or not home at all.

I crept over to the door to Jasper's suite. All was quiet within, but for his breathing and heartbeat and the like.

It calmed me to be near him. Whatever happened in the past, I would have to do my very best to make him happy going forward.

Desperate for a glimpse of Jasper, I bent over to see if I could peer under his door or through his keyhole. Unfortunately these quickly proved fruitless. However, at that moment, I heard Jasper get off his bed and walk through his suite in my direction. Having been inside his apartment when we had been working together on our project last semester I could clearly envision him passing his utilitarian couch and sparsely decorated walls.

He passed rather close by the door and I wondered if he was headed for his kitchenette when he suddenly took a deep breath and stopped short. His heart skipped a beat. And then he reached for the door handle.

Knowing the 2-inch door separating us was about to be swung wide open, I did what any proper spy would do. I bolted. In this case, I dashed down the hall and into the public men's bathroom that served many of the undergraduates living on the floor.

I ducked into one of the stalls and slammed the door behind me, nearly ripping the metal hinges from their frame in the process.

Just then, I heard someone enter and start to brush his teeth in a nearby sink. Another bang of the door signaled another person entering, and this one got into a shower. Before the teeth-brusher left, a third entered and I listened uncomfortably to the cacophony around me: Bristles against uneven enamel, urine not entirely finding its target in a urinal, and the sound of soap being lathered across normally hidden body parts.

I stayed put in my stall, hoping for a break in the action when I could slip back into the hallway and head back outside to my original hiding place, which I now determined was a far better observation spot. The bathroom was hopping, however, as the various males on Jasper's floor used it while preparing for bed, so I was a bit stuck.

I sighed.

"You okay, man?"

I was caught off-guard as one of the males inquired about my well-being from just outside my stall.

"Uh, yes, thanks," I replied. I flushed the toilet for good measure.

"Got it," he said. Except that when he walked into the hallway, I heard him whisper, "Dude, there's a guy who has been on the can in there for like 35 minutes."

"Nasty," the other voice replied.

I rolled my eyes. Humans were utterly ridiculous. I had only been in there for 24 minutes.

Finally, after about 20 more minutes, the bathroom was empty. I darted out of the stall and to the exit, thankful to be free from my awkward hiding space. Except that as I did so, I ran directly into Jasper as he was putting the key into his suite door. He carried a coffee and his room keys, both of which he nearly dropped when he saw me.

"Edward! What are you doing here?" he asked. But before I could answer, he asked another question, possibly more uncomfortable and certainly more incriminating that the first. "Wait, how long have you been here?"

I gulped. "42 minutes."

He nodded. "I thought I smelled you when I was leaving earlier."

It was my turn to drop open my mouth in shock. _He_ smelled _me?_

"Wanna come in?" he asked after a moment, once he'd successfully opened his door.

I nodded, and entered his space.

So I'd failed in my secret surveillance mission, but certainly there'd be so many more. I didn't even really need to let my family know, I decided. This one was really just practice anyway.

Jasper grabbed his coffee and sat down facing me on his couch.

"So, not that I'm not glad to see you again, but next time you might want to call first in case I'm not home," he said.

I hesitated. I'd known he was home, because I could smell him a mile away. But I wasn't sure if I should remind him of that. It didn't seem very polite to disagree. So eventually I just nodded.

He looked deep in thought for a minute before he eventually turned to me.

"I was trying to decide if I should be upset with you for just coming over unannounced, but I'm just not angry about it. I kind of like that you felt comfortable enough to just stop by. Can I stop by your room sometimes too?" he asked.

"Of course," I replied.

"Good," he grinned, handing me his coffee.

I raised my eyebrows, confused. Did he want me to _drink_ it?

He laughed at my response. "It's too hot. I was hoping you'd cool it down for me."

Ahh. That was something I could easily do to help. I wrapped my cool hand around the cup.

"Actually, I burned my hand a little bit too when I carried the coffee back here to my room," he said in a deep voice while examining my face. "Do you want to help my hand cool off too?"

"Umm, yes?" I guessed that was the right answer. At least I hoped it was.

"Good," he said, his voice very low indeed, and he pressed his hand into mine.

After a few minutes, he took his coffee back and took a long sip, smacking his perfect lips slightly afterward. His hand, however, he left in mine.

Meanwhile, I debated how to ask him about what I'd overheard in the hallway. I decided to start off easy.

I tried to sound nonchalant. "So, while I was, err, waiting for you, I overheard a few students chatting about you."

He looked over. "Yeah?"

I nodded. "They said you were unattached."

I paused and picked at a string on the couch. "So, um, are you?"

"I don't know, am I? I mean, I don't care what they think, but I sure care about your thoughts," he replied. "And, I don't know what else you want to call this," he said, as put his coffee down and motioned back and forth between us. "But I would say I am attached. Yes, if nothing else, I am certainly growing attached."

Suddenly holding his hand was no longer enough. If he was okay with attached, then I wanted to_ be attached_. I reached over and lightly pulled him closer, and turned him, so he sat right against me, hip to hip. And then I felt him lean against me.

Perfect, I hummed. "Yes. I, too, am attached," I agreed.

Jasper sighed.

Wait. Was that a happy sigh or a sad sigh? What if I'd been misinterpreting all of his sighs all this time. What if he was actually depressed like those girls downstairs had mentioned? And something finally clicked into place. The girl had said she'd be so depressed she'd want to kill herself if she was in Jasper's position. What if he was, and did? And what if Jasper only wanted to be with me because I was his weapon of choice?

It was immediately after I voiced these concerns that I found myself once again standing in the hallway outside of Jasper's rooms, except this time, instead of opening the door, he slammed it in my face.

**XXXXXXXXX**

I sat down outside of Jasper's door. I could pretty much stay there indefinitely. I didn't need bathroom breaks, and I wouldn't need to feed for at least 12 days. And who cares if I skipped classes? I had infinite time at my disposal. I'd just finish up next semester instead if it came to it. I'd simply wait outside of Jasper's room until he forgave me.

So I sat. And I waited. The few students that were still in the hallways at that late hour simply stepped around me, or over my outstretched legs. I just stared at the ceiling.

I heard Jasper sit down on the other side of the door, and felt his warmth where he leaned against it. After a few minutes, I heard him sigh, and I was pretty sure it was a sad one.

It broke my heart. I never meant to hurt Jasper, but I'd clearly offended him very badly. I turned and pressed my cheek to do the door, and whispered another apology just loudly enough for him to hear.

After about a half hour I heard him get up and move to his couch and turned on his television. He flipped through the channels for the next few minutes, never settling on a show, although he did pause a bit when the History channel came on. But apparently even that failed to hold his interest.

Another few minutes later and he spoke. "Edward, I know you're still there. Will you please go home?"

"No," I replied stubbornly.

"Fine," he sighed again. "Well then you might as well come in."

Before he had time to close his mouth, I had opened the door and stepped inside, and just in time to notice him rise to his feet and step toward the door.

His mouth dropped open. "How… did you… unlock?"

I gulped. "Err, key."

He held his hand out. "Give it."

I shook my head. "I, uh, what? I don't have a key. I was kidding. Haha." I chuckled weakly.

"Edward," he warned. "Give me the key."

The look in his eyes made me rather quickly decide to hand over the pilfered keys. He was serious.

I took the set of keys out of my pocket and placed them in his hand. He looked at them and blinked slowly.

"Okay, now please go out in the hallway again," he said.

I started to protest but he walked to the door and opened it for me and pointed to the hallway. I went. And without a word he shut the door behind me again.

I sat on the floor with a humph and returned to contemplating the patterns in the speckled carpeting.

At 1 a.m., he came and opened the door.

"Okay, get in here," he said. "I need some honest answers, okay?"

I nodded, staring at my feet, while he paced.

"Where'd you get the key? And why were you really here?" he asked.

"Mmmmreslife andmmm causemyfamilymademe," I mumbled.

"Why?" he asked.

I looked up. "They think you might tell someone about us, even if just by accident. So I'm supposed to keep an eye on you."

He sighed. "This is hard. Because of the sort of extraordinary circumstances here I can almost understand. Almost. But even so, it's just not okay with me. I need you to trust me."

"But I do!" I protested. "It's my family…"

"This is about you and me, Edward, not them. Look, I want to be with you most of the time anyway, so why don't you just call me and ask to come be with me, and then I'll say 'yes,' and then you can watch me all the time, and you won't have to use that master key of yours again. And, by the way, first thing tomorrow, you are taking it back to Res Life."

I agreed quickly.

"Now, tell me why you think I'm depressed and only want to be with you because I'm suicidal?" he asked after a moment.

"Well, because I'm a vampire," I replied. It made perfect sense. "You'd have to be suicidal to want to be with me."

He groaned. "I want to be with you because—at least most of the time—I think you're interesting and caring and honest and smart and hilarious, and we just click. Not to mention that you're the most handsome man I've ever seen. Not because I'm suicidal. I trust you won't hurt me. But why on earth would you think I am depressed? Have I ever acted depressed?"

"No, but the girls downstairs said…" I trailed off.

"You hear everything with those ears of yours, so I would expect that you should know by now not to trust everything people say. Those girls don't have a clue about me."

And with that, Jasper began telling me his story. How he'd grown up with his parents and older brother in Texas. How he'd been visiting his family at Christmas the previous year when tragedy had struck. How he'd been the one driving his family home from a holiday party when they'd been hit by another car. How his parents were killed instantly and how he'd been unable to save his brother from the wreckage in time and had later watched his brother succumb to his injuries in the hospital. And how it continues to shake him to his core, but how he's decided to live for them instead of not. And how my comment had offended him so greatly for that very reason, because he'd promised himself that he'd never submit to the depression that occasionally hovered around the edges threatening to slip through the cracks should he not be paying attention. And how when he was with me he sometimes forgot about his vow to live and instead just lived.

He was clearly better at keeping his vows that I was.

Eventually I'd gotten him to sit with me so I could hold him and comfort him as I cried dry tears for his pain. And I told him that my immortality virtually guaranteed he would never have to fear my departure and that I'd never leave unless he wanted me to, and that even if he did want me to go, I'd still be right outside his door waiting. And I kissed him lightly on his forehead after saying just that, with my lips tightly closed, of course.

And he looked at me with glassy eyes and a tear halfway down his cheek after I'd done so. So I kissed his tear off his cheek because I couldn't help myself. And I suppose he kissed my cheek right back and then my forehead and then my other cheek and held his face against mine for awhile, likely because he couldn't control himself either.

And then, he broke contact and stood quickly while yawning. It was 2:30 a.m., and classes started in the morning.

"I'm sorry, I'm exhausted, I hafta go to bed," he explained.

"Okay," I said. "I'll just wait outside in the hall until morning."

"What, are you afraid I'll shout 'Edward is a vampire!' in my sleep?" he asked.

"Of course not," I said. "But I promised I wouldn't leave you."

"Then don't," he said. "Stay here." He tossed me a pillow and blanket. "I know you don't sleep, so will the couch be alright? You can watch TV or a DVD."

I quickly agreed. That was fine with me. I didn't need a pillow, blanket, or television. Just listening to Jasper's heart could entertain me for hours on end. And when I had enough of that, I'd simply start focusing on his sweet even breathing.

And so he went to bed, and so I waited. And while I listened, I tried to remember the reasons why he said he liked me instead of contemplating whether he only preferred me because of my immortality, knowing I could never leave him because of a tragic car accident. Even I knew that was a question that could never be asked.

And later, when he was deep asleep, I may have sneaked in to watch him, but only for an hour, and always maintaining at least a few centimeters of distance between our bodies, except for that one point when my hair must have brushed his nose, because I barely had time to make it back to the couch before he started sneezing violently.

After that, I stayed glued to the couch like a good vampire, waiting for Jasper to wake. And I swear, I only touched myself once, but his sleepy moan was so perfect, I just couldn't help it.

By the time the sun rose the next morning, I had a plan. I wanted to take care of him, so the last thing I wanted to do was keep him up all night before his first day of classes. I didn't want him to be so tired that he was unable to concentrate.

The least I could do, I thought, was make sure he went off to his first class sufficiently fed and watered, or at least, in Jasper's case, coffee'd. I knew he'd be unable to focus and learn with low blood sugar and an empty stomach.

So, food and coffee it was. It sounded so simple. Execution was another matter, however.

I pulled out my iPhone and searched for coffee recipes. I wanted to do this right.

Luckily, the majority of the recipes agreed only two ingredients were necessary: Coffee grinds and hot water. Well, I could smell the coffee beans Jasper had stored in his kitchenette and water was never in low supply in rainy Washington, so that was perfect. I sneaked through his kitchen area and quickly located a French press. I then Googled its make and model to make sure I used it properly. One read through was sufficient for my mind to absorb and so I was quite confident I could make a cup of appropriate strength for Jasper once he arose.

Food, however, was going to be more of a challenge. A glance through Jasper's pantry proved he had little other than what appeared to be incredibly stale pretzels, a myriad of spices, and a half of a rotting fruit that even I had to study for a moment to determine that it was once a lemon. I suppose it made sense that he hadn't purchased food yet, having only returned to campus the day before, but the lack of ingredients was going to be a challenge in terms of my plan to feed Jasper.

While I was Googling whether it was possible to make pancakes out of ground up pretzels, I heard Jasper's alarm start to go off. I dashed back to the couch so he wouldn't know I'd been snooping in the kitchen. I wanted to surprise him with my plans for his breakfast.

After a minute, Jasper emerged from his bedroom, yawning and stretching. He met my eyes with a sleepy grin. "Hey," he greeted me.

"Hey," I said back, trying not to watch his abdomen as he unintentionally bared it to me while scratching his stomach beneath his t-shirt.

"You okay here for 15 minutes?" he asked. "I'm gonna shower."

"Of course!" I replied. "Take your time." And I meant it. I needed as much time as he'd give me.

As soon as he moved to the bathroom and turned on the vent, I ran to the kitchen and threw coffee beans in his grinder. Simultaneously, I placed a mug of water in his microwave. While that heated, I placed the fresh grounds into the French press. And then I waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. Finally, two minutes later, the water was hot and I poured it over top of the grounds.

Knowing I now had only four minutes until the coffee was finished, I darted out of the apartment and down to the nearest dining hall. I hoped I could talk the dining hall staff for a bit of sugar, some flour, a few eggs, and a couple of the other ingredients I would need to prepare Belgian waffles with blueberry topping for Jasper.

Though I rarely busted out all of the tools I had at my disposal, my limited time frame made me do just that.

To get through into the dining hall in the first place, I handed the cashier at the door a crisp $50. My entrance into the kitchen itself was a little harder, but nothing that a little eye batting and flattery couldn't take care of. But when I sneaked into the tremendous refrigerator, I found no blueberries. Unfortunately, it was while I was Googling a different sort of fruit topping I could use as a substitute, a cook found me standing in the dark walk-in freezer and proceeded to throw me out of the dining hall altogether. At least I managed to snag two blueberry muffins on as I let the livid cook drag me to the door. I thought I at least deserved those. After all, I'd paid $50 and practically cheated on Jasper to get them.

I dashed as quickly as humans thought possible back up to Jasper's room. I knew I was late, but only by a few minutes. Shit. I'd still have to start over with the coffee.

Except that when I got back to Jasper's room, I found I had an even bigger problem.

I was locked out.

And this time I didn't have a key. Dammit.

I knocked on the door. No answer. I could hear that Jasper was in his bathroom, and it sounded like the shower was turned off. Maybe he hadn't heard my knock. It sounded like maybe he was brushing his teeth. I waited for him to turn the sink off before knocking again.

"Jasper?" I called lightly with my face pressed to the door. "Jasper?"

Still no response from him.

"Jasper, it's me. I mean, it's Edward. Can you let me in?" I called again, louder.

Nothing. Since when did it take so long to floss? And I was getting desperate. His coffee was getting more and more ruined as I stood there, and who knows how fresh the muffins were to begin with.

I sighed, gathered a lungful of sweet Jasper air and finally bellowed, "JASPER, IT'S EDWARD. LET ME IN!" I paused. I didn't want anyone to think me impolite. "PLEASE?"

Suddenly, I heard Jasper throw open the bathroom door and dart to his front door, which he immediately pulled open for me. "Shhh! You're going to wake everyone up!" he said. "Not everyone has 8 a.m. classes and those that don't aren't going to be happy that you just did that. Now, get in here!"

"Well, if you'd give me my keys back, I wouldn't have had to do tha—" I stopped short as I recognized that it was indeed a very wet-haired and nearly naked Jasper that was standing before me.

I gulped and stared as a rivulet of water ran down his still-wet chest until it finally met the towel wrapped around his waist.

Just a towel.  
Just a towel.  
Just a small towel.

He was beautiful. And he was wearing just a small towel.

I darted in from the hallway and shut the door hard behind me. I didn't want anyone else in the world to see Jasper so exposed. And I didn't want to Jasper to see what he was doing to me either, so I quickly headed to the kitchen.

"Uh, I, uh, breakfast, er, muffins," I said. My voice cracked a bit, but other than that, I was pretty sure I pulled off a casual enough tone.

"Great, let me just..." he trailed off.

I could feel his eyes on my retreating form. "Uh, sure. No problem. Take your time. I won't go anywhere. I'm just gonna, yeah..."

"Right," he coughed, and head into his room to dress.

A few minutes later, he emerged, this time fully clothed, and met me in the kitchen just as I was pouring a new fresh mug of coffee into a mug I'd found in his cabinet.

"I was going to make waffles, but," I shrugged. "Well, I got muffins instead. Sorry they're a little squashed." I looked at the now sad-looking pastries. I guess I must have squeezed them a little by accident when a saw Jasper mostly naked.

"This is really great. Perfect, really. Thank you," he said, as he sat at his tiny table. I set the mug of coffee in front of him.

He reached for it, with a smile. "No one has made breakfast for me in a long, long time," he said shyly. "I can't believe you actua—"

As much as I wanted to hear what he had to say, I just had to cut him off when something very important occurred to me.

"Wait!" I cried before he could finish putting the mug to his lips. "It's hot!"

"Excellent," he replied, grinning.

Oh sure. Now he likes hot beverages.

I quickly cataloged this preference in the "What I know about Jasper" section of my brain. I was pleased it was growing daily. After all, I now knew many of Jasper's likes.

Hot coffee.  
Cold water.  
Blueberries.  
The guitar.  
World history.

And me.

_

* * *

_

A/N: That was the first night Jasper dreamed of Edward Cullen.

_Haha. Just kidding. Jasper had been dreaming about Edward since chapter 3. And I have to say, some of those dreams were kinda hot._


	14. Chapter 14: Encore

**Said and done**

**Chapter 14: Encore**

_A/N: You may want to hear the piece of music Edward and Jasper studied for their music theory class last semester at a certain point in the chapter. You can find it at http:/www (dot) youtube (dot) com/watch?v=XCkM2a4daZU _

_In addition, I posted a couple new one-shots in the last few days. Feel free to click the little "ICMezzo" button at the top of the page next to the slice of blueberry pie if you want to take a look. _

_The song for this chapter is "Crossfire" by Brandon Flowers. It is available at: _www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=AiRKo9kKBzc _or just click the link in my profile._

_Thanks to TwilightMundi for betaing this and every chapter. I'd be a hot mess without her. Thanks also to Yogagal and Bookjunkie1975 for their knowledge that made the final author's note possible._

_Stephenie Meyer owns everything you recognize. Rated M for mature themes and slash. _

* * *

"I want to hear you play," Jasper announced one afternoon several days later from where he lay spread out on his bed reading his textbook on early Mesopotamia.

"Why?" I looked up at him from where I sat at his desk working on my own homework—I was hastily writing out a trumpet part to accompany one of my harpsichord pieces.

I mean, it wasn't as though I was embarrassed to play in front of Jasper, but neither was I eager to take up our limited free time together staring at sheet music instead of at him.

"Because I want to. Please?" he asked.

It was silly to pretend I wouldn't give in to him. "Well, if you want to hear me, why don't I just put on a recording of mine while we study sometime?" I suggested. I could just run to the music school and make one some evening while Jasper slept.

"That's not what I mean and you know it," he replied.

"Fine," I conceded. "When?"

"How about Friday after class? I can just meet you in the music school. You have a practice room, right?" he asked.

"That time should work. But I'll meet you outside the school instead," I told him.

If Jasper wanted to hear me play, he wouldn't have to do so in a grungy, cramped little practice room on a subpar piano.

Nothing but the best for him. Ever.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"Have you never been in here before?" I asked Jasper late the next afternoon.

I glanced at him when I received no response. He was shaking his head slowly. I took a deep breath searching for the faded scent of him that might linger anywhere else in the auditorium. I couldn't find a trace of him. No wonder he was looking around with awe. The concert hall was rather impressive I suppose.

Overnight I had managed to get my hands on a key to the best recital hall the school had to offer. I also may have broken into the online reservation system and switched around a few things so I could book the space for a few hours. I didn't want anyone interrupting us.

I looked over at Jasper who was still staring out at row after row of seats in the darkened hall. The stage was empty but for the concert grand in the center and was lit by a few spotlights.

So I gave us a little mood lighting. No one could accuse me of not being thorough.

When I finally got Jasper's attention, I told him he could sit anywhere he liked, though I may have suggested he head approximately 2/3 of the way back into the seats where the acoustics were the best. And of course, I let him know that most people preferred to watch pianists from the side of the hall that provided the best view of the musician's hands. As I mentioned these things I unlocked the piano's keyboard and lifted the lid, and adjusted my bench a bit before sitting down.

But despite my recommendations, Jasper just sat himself down in the front row, leaned back, and propped his feet against the front ledge of the stage. I tried not to smile.

"What would you like me to play?" I asked once he was settled.

"Debussy. _Reflets dans l'eau, _of course," he answered without hesitation.

"Of course," I replied. We'd spent so much time studying it even a human would have memorized it. I glanced at the keyboard and readied myself except that I heard the telltale creak of an auditorium seat folding. I looked over at Jasper and sure enough he was now standing. Except before I could ask if he'd changed his mind and didn't want to hear me play after all, he raised his hands over his head while he grinned broadly.

It wasn't until he began swooping his arms though the air that I realized he was pretending to conduct me.

I laughed for a moment with him before eventually taking his cue.

I began to play.

My fingers found the correct keys at the correct times with little effort on the part of my mind, so instead I focused on the emotion behind the music, made so much more meaningful because it was Jasper's request to hear it. It meant something to him, so it meant something more to me. His presence gave new purpose to the swells and ebbs of the piece, the sounds and the empty space between them now filled with meaning. To say he inspired the playing would not do his influence justice; the notes on the page were suddenly about him, for him, and composed of him. Technical mastery was no longer the goal. How had I never known there was so so much more?

Just over halfway through the piece, Jasper left his seat and wandered onto the stage. He stopped at the far end of the piano, where he leaned in, presumably to watch the instrument sound. I found his placement ideal as I was able to watch him as I played. He studied the piano strings for a few seconds before he looked up and met my gaze.

With our eyes locked, I played the rest of the song to Jasper.

When I finished the final notes of the piece, I listened as the last sounds reverberated throughout the vacant auditorium. Jasper, for his part, was nearly as still as a vampire, and his eyes, unblinking, held mine.

Apparently it would be up to me to break the silence.

"It is customary to clap, you know," I joked, but he wasn't smiling, which bothered me a bit. "I mean, it wasn't perfect because I hadn't had the opportunity to prepare in advance." I had to admit that. But still, shouldn't he be at least saying 'good job' or something? But no, he just stood there silently.

"Well, common courtesy would indicate that at least a few light claps of appreciation might be appropriate," I huffed, as he started to walk around the side of the piano. "I mean, it isn't like you have to call for an encore or anything. Even a thank you would be sufficient if you felt uninspired to clap."

I looked down and babbled on, eager to fill the silence with my explanations of proper etiquette on the part of a listener to demonstrate his or her appreciation of classical music depending on his or her level of enthusiasm. As I did so, Jasper moved so he was standing right next to my piano bench.

"Edward?" he interrupted me, tilting my face to look at his. "Shut up, will you?"

"I... wha—?" I started to ask, but stopped when he shook his head and smiled gently.

And then, he bent down, and I turned my cheek to him, hopeful that he was about to reward my song with a peck on the cheek.

But I felt his hands urging me to turn back to face him. So, I relented, and looked at him again.

And I was just in time to see him lean in and place his lips lightly on mine.

And then he pulled away, and I was fairly certain he took my heart with him.

His eyes, however, were questioning. But as for me, for the first time I could remember, I had no questions—only absolute certainty about one very important thing.

We had to do _that_ again.

So I pulled Jasper carefully onto my lap, and with my arms around him, I swallowed several times and then with the spotlights and 1,000 empty seats staring at us, I kissed him properly.

And I did so no fewer than nine and one-half times, the half being when I kissed his jaw in my haste to have my lips on him while he gasped for air.

When his own lips were beginning to appear a bit swollen, whether from traces of my venom or the bruising that might occur when repeatedly mashing your face into a chunk of cold marble, I forced us to stop. I wouldn't want to give him cause to regret our activity.

"Come back to my room tonight?" Jasper asked breathlessly.

I looked at him, completely confused. "I've been at your place all week. Was tonight supposed to be different?" Yeah, my task of keeping an eye on Jasper had proved delightful.

"No, Edward," he sighed, and ran his hands through his hair. "I want you to come back to my _room_ tonight. Not the couch where you pretend to watch infomercials all night, or my kitchen which you snoop through to make sure I'm 'feeding sufficiently' as you put it. I want you to come back _to my room."_

"Oh. Sure." I said very seriously. He wanted me in his_ room. _

It's a good thing I was just as comfortable on the floor as any couch. Or maybe I could sit in his desk chair, or maybe, if I was very careful, on the corner of his bed. It wasn't the largest bed though, I had to admit. I wondered if he'd mind sharing. I decided to ask. "Would you mind it terribly if I joined you on the bed?"

Now it was his turn to look at me as though I was the crazy one. "I don't even want to know what you thought I meant before. Of course you can join me on the bed," he grinned. "I just want you with me while I sleep. I don't like to think of you sitting cold and alone on the couch."

"So you'd rather have me cold and in your bed?" I joked.

"Would you rather stay on the couch?" he teased. "Because that can be arranged."

"No! No. I'm good. The bed would be great!" I answered quickly. "Please! I want to go to bed with you!"

He wiggled his eyebrows. "I bet you do." And he kissed me again.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

After we regained some measure of composure, we left the music school, and I took Jasper for a quick dinner in the dining hall. I joined him there for most lunches and dinners now, but no breakfasts. The glares I still received from various kitchen staff members made me uncomfortable.

After dinner, it was a few hours of studying history in the library for Jasper and a few hours of studying Jasper for me.

And then finally, finally, we returned to Jasper's place. And as per his earlier request, instead of sitting at his desk or on his floor, or couch, or in his kitchen—which I still maintain was very unsatisfactorily stocked—I sat on the corner of his bed.

After a bathroom stop, Jasper came into his room and started sifting through his dresser drawers. Whatever he was after, it was taking too long. His system was clearly very inefficient. I jumped up, and quickly joined him, snagging the piles of soft fabrics from him and folding everything and arranging it for him by color, then by size, and finally alphabetically by brand.

Before Jasper could say, "But... my... pajamas?" I was finished and explaining the very simple organizational structure I'd just established for him.

"Uh, thanks," he said, staring at the drawer of now-folded pajama pants and largely faded t-shirts.

"Sure. Now it will take less time for you in the future," I explained.

"For someone who plans to live forever, you sure don't like to waste a moment, do you?" he asked.

"Oh, it's just time with you that I don't like to waste," I replied.

He just smiled and offered me some pajamas so I could be comfortable. I wasn't about to turn him down. I wanted to smell him on me, and besides, he _still_ had my sweater.

He handed me a pair of pajama pants and while he turned around to pick out a pair for himself I quickly changed, counting on the fact that I'd accomplish the task more quickly than his eyes could follow. Except that I didn't realize until I was standing there largely naked that he hadn't given me a shirt. I threw on his pajama pants and retrieved my worn button-down shirt from the floor, put it back on and started working on the buttons when Jasper noticed.

"You can leave it off, you know. It's just me. Unless you think you'll get cold?" he smiled.

I suppose he had a point. Besides, after I'd seen him in the towel the other morning, this was probably only fair. I had never been so glad for my perfect memory as I had been the day I'd seen Jasper dripping wet and barely covered. Now I could see him like that any time that I wanted. Such as right now. Yup, there he was. I sighed happily.

He gave me an odd look, but I ignored it and started to undress instead, doing so much more slowly than I'd previously disrobed, trying to focus on my shirt's never-ending buttons instead of the feel of Jasper's eyes on me.

When I finished, and folded my clothing and set it on his chair, I looked up at him as we stood there facing each other, both dressed only in pairs of Jasper's pajama pants, which hung low on our hips.

We simultaneously ran our hands through our own hair, and then laughed at our synchronicity. It broke the tension a bit.

Jasper climbed on his bed and sat against his headboard. He patted the space next to him, indicating I should join him.

He didn't have to tell me twice. I leaped over him and landed next to him, also backed up against his headboard. Perfect. I tilted my head so I could watch Jasper's face.

"You know why I wanted to write about the Golden Ratio in the first place?" he asked. I shook my head. He'd never said why he wanted to write on the topic. But even so, whatever he wanted was fine with me.

Jasper told me about how he'd studied the concept of the golden ratio when he'd been learning about architecture, some of which followed the theory, but that he'd actually appreciated it more when it occurred naturally.

"So when I first saw you in class at the beginning of the semester," Jasper explained, "I knew you were beautiful, that your face had that timeless classical look, but I couldn't figure out why it was so striking. It took me awhile to realize that your own face follows the divine proportion, giving you the look of perfection. And for the record, the rest of your family members' faces do as well—or at least those that I've met. It must be just another vampire thing."

Just another vampire thing. He said it so casually. I didn't know whether to be overjoyed or concerned.

"Jasper, I'm supposed to be scary to you, you know," I pointed out.

"Oh yeah, you're terrifying," he deadpanned.

"No, I mean it! See, look, I have fangs!" I opened my mouth and pointed at my teeth.

He pretended to shiver. "Well, your breath is pretty scary anyway."

I slammed my mouth shut, panicked.

He laughed and took my hand. "You're such a dork."

I frowned, but kept my mouth shut, afraid to open it to disagree.

"Edward, you're fine. I was kidding. Come on. Show me your fangs again."

I opened my mouth just enough to grimace.

"There, very frightening. I'm scared to death, okay?"

I nodded. As long as he understood that I was a terrifying monster.

We sat in silence for a few more minutes until Jasper yawned one too many times. "Time for bed, I think," he commented.

I agreed, eager to watch him sleep.

He started to climb under his blankets. "Did you want to be on top or...?" he asked.

I looked back in horror. Did we really have to decide right now? I wasn't at all prepared for that. I looked at the pajama pants Jasper had given me. They didn't seem to indicate a preference, nor did my hair or the way I was sitting on the bed, I was sure of it. How could I tell him that I just wasn't certain abou—

"Edward? Did you want to get under the covers or stay on top?" he asked, confused by my obvious hesitation.

"I...oh. Oh!" I cried, delighted by the sudden change of topic. "Beneath. With you," I said confidently.

I could make decisions about blankets. That was no problem at all. I could do blankets. I mean, I wouldn't _do _his blankets, not like I did with his tree, I mean. Especially not with him in the bed. But I could make a decision about them. That was easy enough. I already liked most kinds of blankets anyways. Except for purple ones. I frowned. I never cared much for purple blankets. But most others were quite nice. I especially liked flannel ones, and I hummed a bit thinking about how nice and soft they were. And then there were those ones that had the—

"Edward, do you ever stop thinking?" Jasper asked suddenly.

"Nope," I replied, but then realized that wasn't true. "Actually, yes. I find myself entirely unable to think when I'm kissing you."

"Then for god's sakes, kiss me, please."

So I did. More than once, too.

_

* * *

_

A/N: You know how when your friends try to tell you about their dreams (the kind they have at night, not like, their goals and ambitions) and you have to pretend to listen and care? So you nod a lot and say a few uh-huhs until you look up and notice your friend's mouth has stopped moving? And then you have to struggle to come up with some sort of response because your friend is expecting you to help them analyze every single detail?

_Come on, we've all done it. Don't judge._

_And then you know how you promised yourself you'd never force your friends to ever listen to the details of a dream ever again because you don't want to put them through that?_

_Well, that's the reason that, despite your pleading reviews, I refuse to subject you to the details of Jasper's dreams about Edward; friends just don't tell dreams to friends._

_*Ducks as readers throw hardcover copies of _Breaking Dawn_ (are there any other kind?) at head*_

_Okay, okay! I get it. You wanna know. Fine then. Have it your way. Here's the dream Jasper had the last night before returning to campus for his final semester of grad school (i.e., the night Jasper Googled "vampires," and "Edward Cullen," while the Edward engaged in some self-loving in Jasper's pine tree, also known as Chapter 11). And please, don't fault Jasper for his dream; he'd had a very long day. _

Jasper sat down in the sleek black car, closing the door behind him and breathing in the intoxicating scent of the leather seats. Meanwhile, Edward, dressed largely in black and with some sort of headgear containing large pointed ears, sat down in the driver's seat next to him. Edward shifted somewhat ungracefully (for a vampire) once he shut his own car door, presumably to avoid sitting on the dark cape he was suddenly wearing.

Jasper looked at Edward, and admired his rather bulging muscles and impressive chest from the passenger seat. And then he realized that Edward's sculpted torso now bore an emblem of a large black bat.

Huh, Jasper thought. So Edward is Batman.

Jasper decided that was not just awesome, but totally hot.

Just then Edward started the car, and Jasper felt the Batmobile come to life beneath him. Edward wove through the streets of Seattle, making their way to the outskirts of the city. Once they found the highway, they headed away from civilization and into the dark night.

After awhile, Edward offered to let Jasper drive. Being a warm-blooded male, Jasper eagerly agreed.

Without stopping, the two traded spots. Edward began coaching Jasper on how to start and drive the car, whispering such directions as, "Don't let go of the stick," and "You may need to pump it a few times," which Jasper found aroused him to no end despite the fact that when he looked down he noticed his jeans had turned into pantyhose, which he now wore beneath a small green Speedo.

It was then that Jasper noticed the tightness around his neck. He clutched his hand to his throat, trying to ascertain the cause when Edward offered to help him.

"Capes can be tricky if you're not accustomed to them," he said, as he adjusted the bright yellow cape Jasper found himself wearing.

Suddenly, the Batmobile stopped, which Jasper found to be convenient because he could then focus entirely on the feeling of Edward's hands partially undressing him, or at least, loosening his cape.

After the cape was off, without warning Edward turned to Jasper and kissed him passionately on the lips. Without hesitation, Jasper kissed him back thoroughly, to which Edward responded by placing his hand on Jasper's erection.

Jasper moaned as the masked man crushed his mouth into his own, while teasing him through his Speedo.

"Would you like to come in my Batcave?" Edward asked in a low sultry voice. Being a warm-blooded gay male, Jasper eagerly agreed. Would he ever!

They got out of the car, but before they went any further, Jasper noticed that pieces of their clothing started disappearing before his eyes. Edward lost his shirt first, and then his own tights followed immediately after Jasper's disappeared. Soon, Jasper wore little besides his green Speedo while Edward wore only his cape, headgear, and black underwear. And judging by the way it was beginning to shimmer, Jasper could tell that the latter wouldn't be present much longer either.

Suddenly, the last of Jasper's clothing disappeared, leaving him completely bare. He suddenly longed for his yellow cape to wrap himself in. It was hardly fair that Edward would get to see him first considering it was Jasper's dream. But Edward, for his part, seemed not to notice his own near-nudity. Instead, he simply picked up the now naked Jasper and sat him on the hood of the car.

He stood and looked hungrily down at Jasper through his mask.

"I want to suck your... cock," the caped, masked, gay, mostly-naked Batman-Dracula Edward said in a low voice and with an unforgivably bad accent.

Jasper lay back on the still-warm hood of the Batmobile and propped himself up on his elbows. He watch through hooded lids as Edward gripped his length and leaned down to take him in his mouth.

_Unfortunately, just as the tip of Edward's tongue reached out to touch the tip of Jasper, the sound of a large tree limb snapping outside of Jasper's window woke him up. And now you know why Jasper's response was to curse at the approximately 6ft, 165lb undead "squirrel" that broke the tree outside his window. I wouldn't have wanted to wake up either._


	15. Chapter 15: Past, present, future tents

**Said and done**

**Chapter 15: Past, present, and future tents**

_A/N: Welcome to all of my new readers! So glad to have you on board!_

_I put a few SaD FAQs on my profile page for those of you who are interested. _

_Also, I have to take just a moment to thank all the fabulous readers who nominated this story for The Vampies awards. There are some amazing stories that were nominated. I'm ridiculously honored to be along side of them. So, yeah, _Said and Done_ is up for The Golden Onion (Best Comedy), Down for the Count…Chocula, That Is (Best Fluff), The Rainbow Connection (Best Slash), and It's So Wrong, It Has to Be Right (Best Non-Canon Pairing). Gah! I can't even believe it. Anyway, go read the other stories you haven't already, and then vote for your favorites at http:/ /twificpics (dot) com/vampawards/_

_Though it seems so very inadequate, I want to thank the amazing TwilightMundi for her beta work on this story. Give her a high-five for me next time you see her. She seriously rocks._

_The song for this chapter is "Little Lion Man" by Mumford and Sons. It is available at: _www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=lLJf9qJHR3E _or just click the link in my profile._

_Stephenie Meyer owns everything you recognize. Rated M for mature themes and slash. _

* * *

My god! It just kept getting bigger and bigger.

Would it ever stop?

I watched with fascinated horror at Jasper's groin as he pitched a rather prominent tent in the sheet that covered him. And it was no pup-tent either.

I wondered if Jasper was dreaming of something that made his body react this way, or if this really did just happen some mornings like I read in Alice's _Cosmo. _I hoped Jasper would let me lay with him while he slept again in the future, so I could see if this was a regular occurrence.

I couldn't tear my eyes away. And then, of course, I felt my own body begin to respond in kind. I glanced between us. Great. Now there were two tents. We were a tacky sign away from calling ourselves a KOA campground.

And then I heard a fake cough from next to me. I hadn't noticed Jasper had woken up! I must admit, I panicked a bit, embarrassed that Jasper would see me in this condition. So I did the only thing I could think of. I shut my eyes and pretended to sleep.

"Edward?" he asked, and poked me in the arm. "Edward?"

I ignored him and emulated a soft snore.

"Edward," Jasper said again, less of a question this time. "I know you can't sleep."

Still, I kept up the ruse, refusing to open my eyes, and attempting to look as relaxed as possible.

"Edward, well then, if you're asleep, you won't mind if I do this," Jasper said.

And then he placed his soft, warm, pulsing hand on the portion of my chest uncovered by the blanket, and ran it slowly down my body and across my icy flat stomach.

It took every ounce of my willpower to keep my eyes closed, which is why I had none left to hold back the whimper that escaped my lips.

"And you wouldn't know if I did _this _either," he said after a moment, removing his hand from under the blankets.

His heart beat wildly and I tensed in anticipation, my nerves working overtime, wondering what he would do next. However, nothing could have prepared me for it because there is simply no way to explain to someone exactly how their entire world is about to shift on its axis before it happens. I guess it was safe to say that what Jasper did next quite simply rocked my world.

I heard him take a deep breath, and then with that same hot hand that had graced my naked torso, he wrapped his fingers around me _down there._

_Holy fucking god._ My eyes flew open, I sat up quickly in the bed and gasped. "Jasper!"

He released me, and started laughing so hard he couldn't breathe, rolling around in the bed, eyes watering in amusement.

I tried to glare at him, though my success was marginal. It's hard to be mad when the human you like touches your erection.

After he'd calmed down he looked at me. "Boy, if that was your reaction to my touching you through the blankets, I can't wait to see what you'll do when I really get a hold of you," he commented, grinning.

I growled in response and shoved him off the bed for his teasing.

He yelped as he fell, tangled in the blankets.

Of course I caught him before he hit the ground, at which point we both dissolved into fits of laughter on his bedroom floor.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

After I fed Jasper breakfast, we decided to get our homework out of the way so we could enjoy the rest of the weekend, which, I must say, was off to a fantastic start. I was seriously glad that even though Jasper's warm hand had been wrapped around me for less than five seconds, I'd have no problem recalling the feeling whenever the mood struck.

I decided to take our studying to the library so Jasper would have less to distract him. After finding a table on the rather deserted fourth floor where the school housed its dusty anthropology volumes, we spread out our books and got to work. I finished my reading within a few minutes, and my early music part-writing assignment not long after.

After accounting for the length of Jasper's reading assignments, the time it took him to read a page, the seconds used when he picked up a highlighter to highlight approximately three lines per page, plus the time wasted when he glanced up at me every four minutes, minus a few seconds per page for those with graphs or other images, I determined it would be between two hours and 18 minutes and two hours and 21 minutes until he finished—unless he got hungry first and we had to break for food, in which case all bets were off.

I hadn't accounted for the fact that Jasper wasn't really in the mood to study, however. He glanced up twice as often as I had anticipated, and frequently had to reread sections of his textbook two or three times. It was going to be a long study session, I could tell.

So I settled in to stare at the faux wood library table while replaying the night before in my mind. After Jasper had kissed me, he'd whispered goodnight and curled up in a little ball of golden curls and pajama pants and tucked himself into my side. I'd never forget the exquisite feeling of his even breaths against my skin, his heat warming my body, and the feel of his pulse against my side, so close to my own heart. He hadn't stayed that way all night, of course. Stillness was not a strong point for most humans. But I enjoyed examining him while he turned and twisted into various positions, each highlighting different aspects of his form. It was, hands down, the best night of my life.* I just hoped we could do it again soon. I smiled, remembering.

After approximately twenty minutes but only eight pages on his part, he caught my eye. "So, Edward," he paused and grinned. "Yesterday, was that your first kiss?"

"No," I said defensively. Esme had kissed me lots of times over the years.

He rolled his eyes. "Was that your first _real _kiss?"

I looked down. "Maybe."

"I thought so," he commented. "You vamp—I mean, you guys are fast learners."

I looked up at him, but he was already reading his book again, though he was chuckling a bit.

_Wait! What did he mean by that?_

I repeatedly opened my mouth to ask but shut it again each time. Should I interrupt him to ask? Did I want to know? Was I a bad kisser? What if he didn't want to kiss me again? How could he tell anyway? Wait, did this mean that... that this wasn't... wasn't his first kiss? Oh my god. What if he had... done _other _things too? What if he had... ? I growled under my breath at the images that raced through my brain.

He looked up at the sound, and patted my arm. "It was amazing kissing you. I didn't mean it wasn't," he said, misinterpreting my reaction. "I was just wondering if it was, you know, your first time. Seriously, I loved kissing you. Maybe when I get done learning about Gilgamesh we can try again? Practice makes perfect, you know."

I nodded, hearing him, but barely. I was still distracted by the new rather horrific possibilities I'd never before considered. What if, what if, what if? I excused myself and took a walk across the floor of the library so I could hide between the shelves and freak out a bit without him seeing.

I decided to call Emmett to discuss this from my hiding place by the books on Aztec mythology. Luckily he answered right away. I didn't even give him a chance to say hello. "Emmett, it's Edward. I don't know what to do. I think maybe Jasper has kissed someone before."

He paused for a moment before responding. "Yeah, so?"

So? Was he kidding? I asked him as much.

"Don't you think that maybe that's a good thing? Considering your... inexperience, maybe a little bit on Jasper's part isn't a bad thing?" he replied.

"You're insane!" I shot back. "Would you be okay with it if some guy had kissed Rosalie before you got together?"

I heard the words a second after I left my mouth and grimaced, remembering the tragedy that ended Rosalie's human life. I apologized immediately and profusely.

"It's okay," he said after a moment. "Just remember than human memories fade quickly. As long as he's with you now, that's what matters."

"I guess," I replied, unconvinced. "But what if he did other things too? What if he—" I started to ask before Emmett cut me off.

"Dear god, do not finish that sentence," Emmett begged. "Look, Rosalie and I were in the middle of having some fun and you are totally gonna make me lose my boner. Besides, you should talk to Jasper about this stuff, not me."

"I, uh, gross. Emmett! Why'd you even answer the phone?" I asked.

"Because I know you. If I didn't answer you'd just call me back repeatedly until I did," he said. "Now, can we hang up please? Unless you want to hear exactly what Rosalie is doing at the moment?"**

"No, we're good. Thanks! Talk to you later. Bye!" I said quickly and hung up the phone before he could get another word in.

I decided it was best to return to Jasper at that point before he started to worry.

Jasper had progressed a few more pages by the time I returned, but it was clearly still slow-going for him. I tried to distract him as little as possible, so I simply doodled images of this Steinway I was thinking of buying for my room on campus, while trying not to think about Jasper's probable past experiences.

A half hour later he looked up again and sighed. "It's not fair that you're already done with your work," he complained lightly.

"Yeah well, it's not fair that you're all warm and soft instead of an icy mess," I joked back.

"I'm _not_ soft," he disagreed.

"Sure," I teased. "You're as hard as an Ampire-Vay," I said, whispering the last word.

He smiled at my strategic use of Pig Latin before turning back to his work.

Another 23 minutes later he peered at me again.

"I like it when you wear my clothes," he told me, looking at the shirt he'd lent me that morning. "Have I told you lately that you are gorgeous?"

"You're crazy," I disagreed. "You're the handsome one."

"No, you are," he smiled.

"Uh, uh," I told him confidently, shaking my head. "Besides, I'm rubber and you're glue so what you say bounces off of me and sticks to you."

I'd been waiting several years to say that one, ever since Emmett used it on me back in 1989.

Jasper didn't seem impressed, however. He just smiled, rolled his eyes, and looked back down at his book. But I could tell it took him a few minutes to get back to his work. And it was more than three and a half hours later that he finally decided he'd had enough studying and could leave the library for the day.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

After feeding Jasper multiple slices of pizza and a small salad (at my insistence), we walked back to my room. I'd been staying at Jasper's so frequently that I'd neglected my own things. I needed to pick up my cell phone charger, some clean clothes, and a book of sheet music if I was going to be staying at Jasper's any longer.

As we walked, Jasper kept pretending to accidentally bump into me, which made me smile. I wanted to touch him constantly too.

"So when we get to my room can we kiss again?" I asked him, trying to be polite about things. I was eager, of course, but I didn't want to presume anything either. I figured it was better to ask first rather than just attack him when we got to my room.

He chuckled. "I've created a monster."

I raised an eyebrow. "Already a monster, remember? Don't make me show you my fangs again."

He just laughed harder, but I was not to be distracted, even if he did have the most beautiful laugh I'd ever heard.

"So can we?" I tried again.

"Definitely," he agreed after pretending to think about it for longer than I considered polite.

"Good," I smiled, suddenly very impatient to get back to my place.

"Can't you walk any faster?" I asked after a minute.

He just laughed and dragged his heels while I tugged on his coat to get him to speed up.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Jasper and I sat together in my room on the bed the school had supplied for me. I had often considered it a waste of space, but I was suddenly glad for the once superfluous furniture.

We began with a few tentative kisses, but it seemed Jasper couldn't keep his lips on mine. Instead, he repeatedly kissed my ear, my eye, my jaw, my cheeks, even my neck. I mean, it was definitely nice, but didn't he know that the lips were the most sensitive part of the body? So much for his experience. Maybe he was newer to this than I thought.

I smiled at the thought as he kissed just to the side of my mouth.

He pulled back, smiling. "What?"

"You're a virgin too!" I said happily.

He immediately sat back on his heels. "Wait, what?" he looked at me, concern evident in his eyes.

"You're a virgin?" I said again, suddenly far more unsure of my conclusion.

He climbed off the bed and sat in my desk chair a few feet away, frowning a bit. Uh oh, I thought. That was not a good sign.

I decided I had to fix this immediately.

"It's okay, I don't care, I mean, I care, but it's okay, either way, I mean, whether you are or aren't it doesn't matter, I just thought that maybe because of how you were, well, I just thought that maybe, I mean...because of how you kissed me." I was suddenly sure my attempt at an explanation was completely unhelpful.

"Because of how I _kissed_ you?" he asked.

But while he was talking something very important occurred to me. "God, I'm sorry, I just couldn't figure out why you wouldn't kiss me there and I thought that maybe you didn't know but, well, of course you wouldn't want to kiss me on the lips," I said, frowning as I pictured how swollen his lips had looked after we'd kissed the day before. "My venom. It hurts, doesn't it?"

I was incredibly sad at the thought of never kissing his lips again.

"Your venom? What? Edward, what in god's name is going through your head?" he asked.

I stared at the ground and haltingly explained, unwilling to meet his eyes. After I'd finished I looked up and saw him sitting there with his own eyes closed. "Jasper?" I said cautiously.

"Okay," he breathed a moment later, finally opening his eyes. "The reason I kissed you like that has nothing to do with my... experience... or your venom. And really, if you have questions, you know you can just ask me, right? You don't have to keep these things bottled up inside, spinning in that head of yours. Just ask, okay?"

I nodded, looking at the floor.

"Okay, look, I kind of feel like going for a run. I need to think a bit. And you probably need to go uh, get a drink? It's been awhile, hasn't it? Would you mind if we just did our own thing for a few hours and clear our heads? Will you come to my place later? We can talk about everything then," he said, standing up and putting on his coat.

I nodded again, eyes still on the ground, and frowned. He didn't want to be with me.

I was devastated as I heard him take a few steps toward the door, when he suddenly turned around and came back. He reached for me, and tilted my face up toward his, and pressed his lips firmly against mine. After he finished, he pulled back just enough to whisper into my ear. "I just need a few hours, okay? I'm not mad. And I really can't wait until you come over tonight. I'm going to show you what these lips can do."

I gulped and watched him quickly walk out the door, the dust swirling in the air behind him.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

I was troubled as I headed toward Jasper's later that evening, but I had to admit he may have been right. As much as I didn't want to be apart from him, I had needed to hunt. I felt slightly calmer after having gone for a long run and having drunk my fill of wildlife in a nearby state park.

When I knocked on his door, it took him less than a second to open it, and soon I stood before him, waiting for his cue. He motioned toward the couch, so I sat, but when he sat down, he did so on the far end.

I had kinda wanted to begin by kissing him a dozen or more times. But while I understood that one day his couch may be a great place for kissing, in our short time together it had already become our 'talking' place. And we did have some important things to discuss. So I sat back to listen.

"I missed you," he said simply.

I nodded as he continued. "Before you, hell, before this week, I was used to being alone _a lot_. This is a big change. A good change, but a big one. And I know you're supposed to keep an eye on me but maybe I need some space sometimes, I guess. I mean, we're together all the time, and it's a huge adjustment. So, there are some things I like to do that I want to make time for, like, running, and going to the gym and..."

I cut him off, excitedly bouncing on the sofa. "I can go to the gym with you! And I love running. Emmett and I do that a lot when we're home together."

"No, you don't understand. I need to run by myself. That's when I do my best thinking. I can't multitask like you can, so I need to set aside time for that," he explained.

"And..." he hesitated. "I want to pick out my own food. You don't have to feed me." He followed my doubtful gaze toward his empty pantry. "I know you don't think so, but I am totally capable of hunting and gathering for myself. And seriously, I know you're trying to keep me healthy, but I _liked_ salads until you started telling me I had to eat them at every meal."

He paused and reached out to me, and put his hand on my leg. "And listen, this is _really _important, okay? I _really_ don't like salad for breakfast. I'll try to eat them for you at other meals, but no more for breakfast. It's just wrong."

I nodded.

No salad at breakfast. Got it.  
Let Jasper choose his own meals. Got it.  
Jasper needs time alone. Got it, though I grimaced a bit at that one.

Relationships were complicated, I realized.

"What about you?" Jasper suddenly asked, pulling me back to the present. "Is there anything you need?"

I thought for a minute, before shaking my head. "I just need you."

He smiled a little. "Okay. Is there anything that you want then?"

That was easier. Everyone _wanted _things. "Yes. I would like it if you played your guitar for me. Also, I would like it if you would wear reading glasses when you study. I see you squinting and I don't want you to hurt your eyes."

He smiled. "I think I can handle that."

Hmm. Maybe this relationship thing wasn't so hard after all.

"Now, about the uh, whole, being a virgin thing. Do you want to talk about it? Maybe we should?"

Scratch that. Definitely hard.

I grimaced and nodded.

"Uh, you're going to have to take your hands off your ears if you want to talk about this," he pointed out.

Slowly I peeled them from my head and took a deep breath. "Okay. Tell me," I said.

"I don't have a lot of experience, but I do have some. I've always been safe, but despite how I kissed you earlier, I'm not a virgin," he paused, evidently still confused how I'd come to that conclusion. "And I'm sorry if that upsets you, but I was in a few relationships before, in college and everything, and sex was naturally a part of that."

He paused to scoot closer to me on the couch, and tilted my head toward him. "It doesn't make anything we have or do any less special, do you understand?"

"Okay," I said slowly. "As long as you promise not to think about it. Ever." I clarified. I'd just have to make him forget. Somehow.

"I swear," he confirmed. "Are we good?"

I just pulled him into the tightest hug I thought his human flesh could handle. I guess I drove him half-crazy, but for some reason, he was still willing to be my Jasper.

After a few minutes, I let him pry himself from my arms.

"I believe I made you a promise earlier?" he whispered.

"Uh, yeah you did!" I jumped up and pulled him with me toward his bedroom.

Within minutes Jasper was perched over top of me as I lay shirtless on the bed. I reached up to begin to peel his own shirt off, but I supposed I got a bit caught up in the moment, because before I realized it, I had half of his shirt in each of one my hands and only one sleeve was left on Jasper.

"Hey!" he exclaimed.

"Oops," I said, but then shrugged. Dangers of being a vampire and all. I tossed them to the side and pulled him down to kiss me on the lips.

"Hey! Wait. Nope, nope, nope," Jasper said, sitting up again, and pulling off the small remnant of his shirt. "I'm in charge."

I whined at him and tried to pull him back down, but he just put his hand over my face. I promptly licked it.

"Edward!" he exclaimed, trying not to laugh at me. "Stop!"

I put my tongue back in my mouth and looked up at him. "But you said..." I reached for him again.

"I know what I said," he grinned. "I'm going to show you what my lips can do. But that means you have to stop!"

I humphed a bit.

"Trust me. Now, here's what you have to do. I need you to stop thinking about what I'm doing, and just _feel. _I mean it. No thinking," he said sternly.

"Fine." I agreed, trying not to smile.

"Now, close your eyes," he said in a low voice, as he put his hands in mine and stretched them above my head.

I did so, and my other highly developed senses took over. I could feel his warmth close to my skin, the sound of his heart pounding above me, and his scent, always his scent, teasing me. But while I couldn't see him, I could feel his eyes on me. I shivered at the sensations.

And then he kissed me on the side of my forehead. And then again, by my ear. And down my jaw.

I tilted my head reflexively to catch his lips with mine, but he pulled back. "No, Edward. You wanted to know why I wasn't kissing you on the mouth. I'm showing you. Not that I don't love kissing your mouth, but trust me. There are other options."

I felt him release my hands. "Leave them," he instructed, and he pulled his hands teasingly along my arms as they lay on the bed above my head, and down onto my torso. He left one on my chest, while his other found space on the bed next to me for balance.

I could feel his warm body above mine, inches apart. I instinctively arched into him, seeking contact. He maintained distance, however, except for his lips, which down found the other side of my jaw, where he kissed me lightly.

"Jasper," I whispered, hearing the need in my voice.

"Shhh," he said, nuzzling his face into my neck. "Just feel."

And he kissed my neck, and I felt his hot tongue teasing my cold skin. He licked and sucked and kissed his way to the hollow of my throat, which he worshiped with his lips.

I moaned and felt myself growing hard.

I couldn't keep my hands from Jasper any longer. He let me wrap them around his waist as he still sat on my hips above me as he continued to place kisses along my collarbone, before working his way back up my neck.

He nibbled my ear.  
He kissed my eyelids.  
He licked and kissed my jaw.

Eventually, he kissed just to the side of my mouth and I couldn't help but seek out his lips again. But instead of finding them, he simply placed brushed his nose against mine. I sucked in the warm air, tasting his breath.

"Jasper," I pleaded again.

But again, he shushed me, and pressed his forehead against mine, and ran his hands over my face, before finally tracing my neglected lips with his thumb.

I felt him move his hands to the bed on either side of my head. He placed breathy kisses in a straight line from my forehead, to my nose, skipping my mouth, of course, but moving down my chin, and down my neck, and onto my chest.

Between kisses, he spoke. "Open your eyes," he said in a low voice. "Do you see? Do you see what kisses can do?"

"Yes, I see," I practically panted.

I watched him as he pressed his hips and his own hardness into mine. He looked at me and smiled. "Yeah, you see," he teased. "They don't have to be on the mouth, do they?"

I whimpered. "Jasper, please."

"Please what?" he asked, grinding into me.

I didn't answer. Instead, I pulled him down to me, and in the cage of my arms, flipped us over so that I was now on top of him.

Before he could protest, I pressed my lips hard against his.

"Both. Let's always do both," I growled when I paused to allow him to breathe.

He reached up to kiss me on the mouth again, his hands in my hair.

"Okay," he murmured as I kissed along his jawline. "Both."

"Both," I agreed, as he arched against me, and I pressed my mouth against the curve of his neck.

"Both," he panted beneath me, his tongue tracing my lips. "We've got... lots... of time... for both."

_Lots of time. We did have lots of time, didn't we? _

_But...would that be enough? _

_I kinda wanted...no, needed... forever._

* * *

_A/N: * Previously, the best nights of Edward's life had been, in order, the night he and Jasper went to the movies and for blueberry pie, the night Carlisle and Esme had welcomed him back after he'd left for several years to drink humans, and the night he discovered Velcro. (Don't ask.)_

_** At that moment, Rosalie had grease and oil streaked through her hair and on her face and was dressed in dirty overalls... and nothing else. She had just pretended to fix Emmett's jeep and was preparing to fuck him against the side of the vehicle. This was one of Rosalie's favorite role play scenes. Emmett enjoyed it well enough, of course, although if he was honest with himself, he'd admit that his own favorite scene to enact was one where Rosalie dressed in a red cape and pranced through the woods to visit her grandmother's house, which she apparently wasn't actually all that interested in visiting, because Emmett the big bad wolf always convinced her to come with him instead (often several times in a row)._


	16. Chapter 16: If at first you dont succeed

**Said and done**

**Chapter 16: If at first you don't succeed**

_A/N: Thanks for your wonderful reviews from last chapter. I sorta kinda squeak a little bit every time I get one. I love them. I'm sorry I'm not so great at replying to all of you. I try to catch at least a few of you each chapter, but I know that's not enough. I'll try to do better. But you? You who favorite and alert and review? I'm going to hug you and pet you and name you Tulip._

_Wait, what? _

_Oh, just keep reading. You'll see what I mean._

_The song for this chapter is Passion Pit's "Sleepyhead." It is available at: _www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=na1OdO30Yp8 _or just click the link in my profile._

_As always, many many thanks to TwilightMundi for betaing._

_Stephenie Meyer owns everything you recognize. Rated M for mature themes and slash. _

_Oh, and thanks to the fabulous ladies who recommended and reviewed _Said and Done_ on the TwiSlash Unveiled blog ( _http:/ twislash(dot)blogspot(dot)com/_ ) last week. That was wicked awesome!_

* * *

"Jasper! You can't lick me there!" I gasped as I felt his hot wet tongue slide slowly from my navel up toward my chest.

He paused halfway up my torso and tucked his tongue back into his mouth. "Oh, yes I can," he growled, before sticking his tongue out again and resuming his trek.

I'm not entirely certain whether it was his heat, his scent, the sight of this beautiful boy laying over me, the aforementioned tongue, or the growl, but I lost it for a split second.

Faster than appropriate for human interaction, I flipped him on his back and growled back before pressing my mouth to his neck. He trembled as I lay above him.

"Fuck," he whispered. "I love it when you lose control."

Those were words enough to stop me in my tracks. I rolled off him and lay face down on the bedspread.

"Edward, come on, turn over," he requested.

"No," I said into the bedspread. "I'm a dangerous monster."

"Come on, roll over," he urged again.

I shook my head.

He rubbed my back. "Come on, you can do it. You did so much better that time! I got almost all the way to your neck. Now turn over. Eighth time is the charm."

I whimpered.

"Okay, fine," he conceded and he climbed over me. "Let's try this instead."

I craned my neck to look at him just in time to see Jasper place his open mouth on my shoulder, leaving hot wet kisses along my back as he ventured to my neck and over to my other shoulder.

After a few more kisses, he finally stopped. I sighed in relief; we'd made out and I hadn't drunk him. Now if he would just get tired and go to sleep I could start to function normally again. And that's when Jasper lay down fully on top of me, resting his head on my shoulder, which wasn't exactly the sign of fatigue I'd meant.

And then I felt it, barely concealed through two layers of pajama pants. The normally soft Jasper was not so soft against my thigh. Then again, I wasn't so soft either, I acknowledged. I wondered if he would want to know he wasn't alone in his...predicament. I wouldn't want him to be embarrassed. I was starting to learn it was a very natural reaction to have when around a beautiful human that looked and smelled like Jasper.

But then he shamelessly ground his hips into me, so I guess he wasn't terribly concerned that I'd notice. And then he did it again. I kinda liked it. Yeah. Definitely. I definitely liked it.

The third time he pressed against me, I pressed back. I also accidentally moaned. Crap. I grabbed a pillow and placed it over my head.

He grabbed the pillow and I let him take it from me. "Again," he whispered, pressing against me and placing his forehead on my back between my shoulders. I could feel his hot breath dancing across my skin.

"Jasper," I breathed. What have you done to me?

"Hmmm?" he hummed, kissing my shoulder again.

Instantly, I flipped him again onto his back and held myself above him. "This," I whispered and pressed my lips to his.

And then, before I completely lost it, I flung myself off him, moving to the corner of his bed where I sat curled into a ball with my eyes closed, trying not to breath, until I got a hold of myself.

After groaning, Jasper rolled onto his stomach and hit his head against the bed a few times before getting up to take a shower.

I knew that he was a bit frustrated that our sessions usually ended up with me in the corner and him in the shower. What was I supposed to do? Join him?

I hummed and rocked back and forth trying to forget that very dangerous idea.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

When I arrived in my room after class the next afternoon, I was unsurprised to find Esme and Carlisle there taking measurements. I'd enlisted their help to assist in setting up a functional kitchen in my living space.

It had come with a small kitchenette like Jasper's but of course I'd never used it.

In fact, I regularly stored my favorite sheet music in the unplugged minifridge, and many of my clothes were stacked in nearby cabinets. However, when Jasper went to get ice from my freezer and discovered that was where I stored my socks, I could sense his displeasure. So I decided I needed to make some changes. Plus, if Jasper wanted some alone time, I could at least put the time to good use—by baking, of course. So Esme had graciously volunteered to get me set up.

So together we trooped with Esme to the nearest kitchen store, where Carlisle and I did our best to learn everything about items such as convection ovens and double-boilers and expensive mixers that were still slower than any vampire.

On the way back we made a quick stop at the grocery store for one and a half carts worth of baking supplies and then quickly returned to my rooms where Esme set everything up, organizing and plugging in all of the necessary appliances. After we'd gotten in her way enough times, Esme also put Carlisle and me to use, sentencing us to the bedroom where we were commanded to keep the dairy products cold by hugging them to our bodies while my newly-plugged in fridge cooled off inside.

I was a little concerned because there were so many new machines and I wondered briefly if I had enough space. Normally I would have just gotten rid of my bed, but I'd come to appreciate the piece of furniture, which now had Jasper's scent firmly embedded in it.

I suspect Carlisle also noticed this fact. When he walked by the bed at one point he took a deep breath and commented that he was glad things were going well for us.

I nodded enthusiastically in response and launched into a lengthy explanation about how he'd looked the day before when he had gotten home from the gym. It was a very happy memory indeed. Carlisle listened graciously—at least until I began to describe the interesting way the rain he'd walked home in combined with his sweat to cause his gym shorts to cling to him in fascinating ways, at which point Carlisle promptly turned from my bedroom and returned to the kitchen area to ask Esme to explain the different settings on my new bread machine once again.

I sighed, mulling over the image in my head. If Carlisle didn't want to hear about it, that was clearly his loss.

Once Esme and Carlisle had left, I headed to the music school practice rooms to prepare for my classes the next day. I had to get my work done before I had to be at Jasper's a few hours later. I never wanted to waste a moment with him. Never.

And I especially wanted to be waiting for him in case he was coming home from the gym again wearing the same shorts.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

As planned, I was waiting for Jasper when he got home that evening. He greeted me with a quick kiss followed by his usual question.

"How long have you been waiting?" he asked pointedly.

"Only 23 minutes this time!" I replied proudly.

He grinned and kissed me again before unlocking his door. "Good job. Now get in here." He tugged my arm and pulled me into his suite behind him.

I sat down and watched as he untied his sneakers and peeled them off. He wasn't wearing my favorite shorts, but the ones he had on weren't bad either. I knew his next step would be to shower, so settled in and flicked on the television while he got cleaned up. Admittedly, I kept the volume quite low so I could listen to him shower, but I decided that what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him. And besides, I did keep half an ear tuned to the Food Network, my new favorite station. I learned an awful lot in the past few days about baking on a budget and how to cook entire meals in less than an hour with fewer than five ingredients. However, there were at least six spices the network's chefs had mentioned so far that our local grocery store refused to carry despite my multiple attempts at begging and bribery. I made a mental note to order some Mahleb next time I was online.

I shut off the television when Jasper joined me on the couch a few minutes later.

"So... I was wondering... do you want to go running with me maybe?" he asked.

"But I thought you wanted to do that alone," I replied, confused.

"I thought I did too," he explained. "And I still do want to run alone sometimes, but I guess maybe we could run together sometimes too?"

I eagerly agreed. I was excited at the thought of seeing Jasper get all flushed and sweaty. I pictured how he'd look his muscles straining and then of course, all of his blood would pool in his cheeks and... yes, I definitely wanted to go running with Jasper.

"Saturday?" I asked.

He nodded in confirmation as he pulled out a textbook. "Do you mind? I have a quiz."

I shook my head. I had pledged long ago to never get in the way of Jasper's studies. "Do you want me to go?"

"No, stay. Definitely stay," he replied. "Unless you'll be bored?"

"Never," I breathed.

Even though his head was buried in his book, I saw the clear signs of a smile turning up the sides of his mouth.

So I grabbed a back issue of _Archeology Magazine_ that Jasper had tossed on a nearby table and started to pretend to read while I stared at him instead, though I made sure to glance down at the page whenever he looked over at me.

After an hour and a half, Jasper reached over and grabbed the magazine from me, at which point he informed me that I wasn't fooling him. Apparently I'd been so wrapped up in the look of his blond curls that I'd forgotten to turn the page of the magazine for more than 20 minutes.

I shrugged guiltily at him, but happily he didn't seem to mind too much. I could tell because he merely swatted me with the magazine instead of making me sit in the hallway.

And even more happily, Jasper's next move was to head to his bedroom and grab something from his dresser. When the pajama pants came flying through the open doorway toward my spot on the couch, I called my thanks to him and quickly changed out of my clothes and into the pants he'd tossed at me before he had time to come back into the living room. After that, he always went to his bathroom, and when he came out a few minutes later, that was my sign that it was time to head with him into his bedroom so we could kiss and then he could go to sleep.

It was a wonderful routine we had developed, I thought, as I trailed behind him into the bedroom.

And when I got there, I let my blond human push me onto the bed and climb on top of me.

Have I mentioned he was beautiful? And warm and soft and perfect.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer," he joked after noticing me staring at him.

Now that was just ridiculous. Had I taught him nothing about vampires? Of course we didn't need cameras thanks to our perfect recall. I began to explain this to him but he just rolled his eyes and cut me off when he pressed his perfect lips to mine.

After some serious kissing, he rolled off me. I didn't like this at all, so I just turned and rolled back over so I was atop him this time. But before I could start to kiss him, he stopped me.

"Wait, I kinda have an idea," he said.

"Me too," I growled and leaned in to kiss him again.

"Nonono, Edward stop!" he laughed at me. "For real."

I sat up. "What?" There was no time for idle chitchat. I had a Jasper to kiss.

"Well, I just thought that since you, uh, well, you freak out when I… uh... do things to you, maybe instead you should, maybe, do things to me?" he suggested. "Okay, that makes me sound really selfish, but I mean if you think it would help, I wouldn't be opposed to it."

I thought this over for a moment, while Jasper continued to babble in the background.

"Okay," I agreed. Perhaps he was right. If I was in control, it might be easier.

"Yeah?" he asked, smiling.

"Yeah," I agreed, reaching down to kiss him. This time he let me.

And then I kissed his jaw and his neck and then his lips again. And then I repeated that all over again. I felt his hands on my back, pulling me towards him. He wanted more.

So I decided to investigate. So I kissed along his shoulder. And then maybe I pressed my lips to the hollow of his throat. Jasper moaned a bit, and I felt the rumble reverberate through my body. I did it again. Same results. Interesting.

I licked the same spot. And he growled.

So I kinda growled back. And then I licked him again. He tasted...good. Not like, blood-good, a little salty maybe, but still, really good. Much better than, say, Emmett, who I'd accidentally-on-purpose licked once while we were wrestling. Emmett just tasted way too much like Rosalie... who I may have also accidentally licked when she tackled me once after I wiped tree sap on her face.

Jasper's hands pulled me towards him at that point reminding me of the beautiful man beneath me, so I decided to kiss down a bit on his chest, my siblings quickly forgotten. His hands came to my head as I did so, and one fisted my hair.

As I explored his chest, I realized that Jasper was brilliant. His idea was working perfectly.

I looked up at him to tell him that, but got a bit distracted when he moved his hands to my face and ran his finger across my lips. I gently took his finger into my mouth and sucked on it, while Jasper watched me with hooded eyes.

But when he took his finger from my mouth he shook his hand a bit. I was immediately concerned. Had I hurt him? Perhaps I crushed his finger or—

"Edward, it's fine, I promise. It just tingles. In fact..." he trailed off.

I raised an eyebrow.

"Well, I just had a thought," he explained.

Well, after his last stroke of brilliance I was not about to doubt him now. "Go ahead," I encouraged.

But instead of talking, he just took my hand in his and ran them together over his chest until he brought them to a slow stop over his nipple. "Here," he whispered.

"There?" I asked, slightly confused.

"Yeah... kiss me here," he said in a low voice.

Well, if that's what he wanted, I had no problem with that. I kissed him lightly on his right nipple.

A strange sound emerged from his throat. I kissed him again, my mouth open this time, and again, the same sound from Jasper, but louder this time.

I looked at him. "Did you just... purr?"

He just hissed and pushed my face down to his chest again. So I licked him this time in the same spot.

"Fuck!" he breathed.

"Good fuck?" I asked, uncertain.

"Fucking fantastic fuck. Again!" he commanded. "It's all tingly and oh, god, just do it again please?"

I smirked and ran my tongue across his apparently sensitive nipple once more before spending some time with the other one.

He liked the feeling of my venom. Oh my god, wait till I tell Emmett about tha—

"Edward, please. Focus," I looked down at Jasper who was squirming beneath me.

I nodded.

"Good, now... do it again please?" he asked with a glint in his eye.

_

* * *

_

A/N: You only love me for my author's notes. I'm convinced of it. :)

_Alright... here's your Velcro story. Enjoy. I hope it lives up to your expectations. (I'll just be nervously pacing in the corner if you need me.)_

_It was a pleasant day in early autumn of 1954 and the Cullens were enjoying their relatively peaceful existence. Emmett and Rosalie had just returned from Europe, where they'd seen, among other things, the World Cup hosted in Switzerland. _

_Like any good family members, they brought back gifts when they returned from their travels; Dior dresses for Alice and Chanel jewelry for Esme, and samples of a new polio vaccine for Carlisle. _

_And a gerbil for Edward._

_Edward, of course, was uninterested in his gerbil, and couldn't understand why his siblings brought it back for him. Did they not know him at all? He wasn't sure Rosalie liked him very much to begin with, and after this, well, he was crushed. I mean, what is a vampire going to do with a gerbil anyway? _

_But his sense of propriety meant he was hesitant to let his siblings know his true feelings about his gift. (His feelings being, by the way, something akin to "WTF?") _

_But every time Edward tried to bring it up, Emmett and Rosalie would say things like, "But she's so soft and cute, don't you just think she's so nice? She can keep you warm! And just listen to her little heartbeat!" or, "But Edward, we sneaked her through customs especially for you!" or even, "We thought you might appreciate having something to love," which sounds like a terribly low blow coming from his mated siblings. In actually it was not, because the whole gerbil thing was a complete joke and Edward's siblings were just toying with him by that point. After all, what is a vampire supposed to do with a gerbil?_

_Not realizing the whole thing was supposed to be funny, Edward resigned himself to caring for his new pet—a responsibility he took quite seriously. The gerbil, which Edward named "Tulip," was less than excited to be in the care of a vampire, and kept trying to escape. But Edward always found Tulip thanks to the sound of her tiny little heartbeat, and returned her to her shoebox filled with fresh shavings he made daily from a pine tree out back._

_Approximately one week after Emmett and Rosalie presented Edward with Tulip, they decided it was time to give in and tell Edward that the gerbil was a prank gift and give him his real present. However, when they went to find Edward, they located him sitting outside in the shade of a large tree, attempting to train Tulip to roll over, having given up trying to teach her to play __un__dead the day before. _

_After a few minutes of watching, Emmett and Rosalie were unable to continue to keep their laughter silent, so they ducked back into the house and decided to let the joke go on a little while longer; that shit being just way too funny to stop just yet._

_But after another few days of watching a tortured Edward try to make nice with an equally-tortured gerbil, Carlisle intervened. He pressured Emmett and Rosalie to give it up and come clean._

_So they found Edward where he sat beneath the same large tree, having decided it was his and Tulip's special spot. (He hadn't yet located his favorite meadow.) Tulip was sitting in the grass, happily trying to chew on Edward's finger, finding it a happy replacement for the toilet paper tubes she was accustomed to munching on—the Cullens not being big users of toilet tissue, they rarely had empty rolls for Edward's gerbil._

_Edward looked up when his siblings approached and greeted them, curious but not necessarily concerned by their guilty faces. _

_It was when they sat down on either side of him and Rosalie started patting him on the shoulder kindly that he began to get worried. _

"_Edward... I..." Emmett started to say, but couldn't seem to get out a whole lot more than that. He looked at Rosalie and shrugged helplessly._

"_Well, Edward, it's just that we... the whole... it was a... we thought that..." Rosalie tried to fill in where Emmett left off, but found that, not being accustomed to apologies, the words got stuck in her throat._

_Edward looked back and forth between them, wondering what the hell was wrong. He started to ask when Emmett tried again._

"_Edward, the gerbil, Tulip, she was... it was all a... Fuck, man, we're sorry," he finally said._

_Edward wrapped his hand reflexively around Tulip, who sighed quietly about being trapped in the cold steel claw of a bloodsucking monster for what seemed like the fourteenth time that day. (Had Edward been able to read Tulip's mind, he would have clarified that it was, in fact, only the thirteenth time, but all things considered, as gerbils go, Tulip was still far better than most at arithmetic.)_

"_Yeah, Edward, it was a joke. We thought it was really funny... I mean, what the hell is a vampire gonna do with a gerbil right? It wasn't your real gift, but you just ended up...well, we should have told you sooner."_

_Edward held up Tulip and took a long look at her. "She wasn't... my gift?"_

_Emmett and Rosalie solemnly shook their heads._

"_I don't have to take care of her anymore?" he asked again, seeking additional confirmation that he was officially relieved of his parenting duties._

_Again, his siblings shook their heads._

_At that point, Edward carefully placed Tulip on the ground, and she started to meander off, enjoying her sudden freedom._

"_I get a real gift?" he asked, excitement creeping into his voice._

_This time they nodded, and Emmett took a small bag from behind his back. It had a little bow on it. Edward liked his new gift already. After all, it came with a bow, and probably wouldn't require fresh pine shavings on a daily basis._

_He placed his hands out eagerly, reaching for his present. Emmett grinned and handed it over. _

_Edward slowly opened the bag, treasuring the possibilities it might hold. He reached in and pulled out... well, something entirely unrecognizable. It was a few dark squares of some sort of odd synthetic material that seemed to cling to each other with a surprising amount of force. _

_He turned it over in his hands, examining it closely. He barely heard Emmett speaking in the background. "It's new. It's not even available anywhere yet. They call it 'Velcro'..."_

_Emmett trailed off again at that point, wondering how exactly he and Rosalie had managed to get Edward not one, but two completely stupid gifts that Edward wouldn't like at all._

_However, Emmett didn't have to worry long because after another minute of studying the thousands of tiny little hooks, Edward looked up with a huge grin on his face. _

"_Thanks Emmett! This is awesome! Rosalie! Thanks! This is perfect!" he exclaimed, hugging his siblings tightly._

"_Well, we just thought you might like all the little hooks," Rosalie tried to explain, shrugging at Emmett._

"_412 in just that little inch!" Edward agreed, pointing at one of the corners of the material._

_Emmett nodded and reached into his pocket. "Here, actually, this Swiss guy made it in white too, so we brought you some of that color too."_

_Edward was quickly becoming overcome. He hugged his siblings again. "You guys _do_ know me! I love you so much!"_

_While Edward went back to his Velcro, which he had now started to unhook strand by strand, Emmett and Rosalie took a moment to recover; they no longer felt guilty and had actually became a little proud that they pleased their OCD sibling so thoroughly._

_After a moment, Rosalie decided to clear something else up as well. "Yeah, so we can go give that little rodent to some human if you want or just let it go. Whatever you want. You totally don't have to take care of it anymore."_

_Edward looked up, startled. Tulip! He'd forgotten about her. He cocked his head, and heard her little thrumming heartbeat off a few yards to the east._

_Rosalie watched, shocked, as Edward carefully set down his new prize and darted off to pick up Tulip. He carried her back to the others and sat down again on the ground, offering her his pinky finger to munch on._

_He stared into her dark little beady eyes for a moment before he looked at his brother and sister. "I can do both, I think..." Edward trailed off._

"_Edward, dude, you don't have to. We didn't really mean to make you take care of a rodent," Emmett said. "I mean, what the hell are you gonna do with a gerbil?"_

"_No, I think... I mean, I have time for both. I can undo these little hooks and watch her, I think," Edward's voice grew stronger as he thought this through. Yes, he could do this. Besides, she was kind of warm and soft. It was... nice. "I would like to keep her," he reaffirmed._

"_Well, okay, I mean, if you're sure." Emmett and Rosalie shrugged at each other and decided to give Edward some alone-time with his new gift and apparently his old one as well, so they got up and headed into the house. And while they never admitted it to each other, they were secretly pleased that their terribly geeky, ridiculously obsessive, and not-a-little anxious little brother wanted to care for and maybe even love the helpless little Tulip._

_After a bit, Edward put Tulip back in her box and wandered to his bedroom where he proceeded to hook and unhook the thousands of tiny little Velcro hooks one by one for several hours, before deciding to fashion a brand new little leash for his little friend Tulip... using his new Velcro, of course._

_And don't worry, once Edward stopped trying to train her to do tricks, Tulip, the first gerbil to ever make it onto U.S. soil, had a long and happy life with Edward, who despite initial fears, never once tried to drink her._


	17. Chapter 17: Ups and downs, ins and outs

**Said and done**

**Chapter 17: Ups and downs, ins and outs**

_A/N: Well, the intent of the last chapter was to get you good and frustrated. Instead, I guess I got you good and giggly. Oh well, at least you're good, right?_

_The song for this chapter is "Trippin down the freeway" by Weezer. It is available at: _www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=4OallS8SKI0 _or just click the link in my profile._

_Thanks to TwilightMundi for going above and beyond._

_Stephenie Meyer owns everything you recognize. Rated M for mature themes and slash. _

* * *

I watched the even rise and fall of Jasper's chest beneath the light blanket that covered him.

In... out... in... out...

I felt his breath swirl around me in warm waves.

In... out... in... out...

I took in his slightly moistened red lips.

The flutter of his eyelids.

In... out...

I felt myself stir beneath the blanket just from watching him. This was getting ridiculous. It was the fifth time now. And that was just since midnight.

I wondered if I should excuse myself and go take a cold shower—or a shower anyway; the temperature would be unlikely to affect me much one way or another. But it seemed to help Jasper calm down.

But who was I kidding? I'd never be able to convince myself to leave his side. I could barely do it when he was awake, much less when he was fast asleep and vulnerable.

I grounded myself in his body's careful rhythms. The beat of his heart—my favorite out of all his muscles regardless of how Jasper might tease otherwise.

In... out... in... out...

Night after night. I breathed in his scent, let the exquisite fire wash over me.

In... out...

How long could this go on? I gazed out Jasper's window at the outside world. It was easier to think at night with the world quieted a few precious decibels.

I looked back at Jasper, unable to tear my gaze away for very long.

He was certainly the sweetest torture, everything and yet not enough. Unsatisfied though perfectly happy. But what else could there ever be for us?

In... out...

In and out... forever?

In...

Out...

In...

Out...

Hmmm...

**XXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Edward, quit it. I know you're not that slow," Jasper whined at me, breathing heavily from the exertion of running. His cheeks were pink from the cold and exercise.

I'd been running behind Jasper so I could watch him from the back, but he was having none of it. This was the third time we'd gone running now and he never let me do it for more than two or three minutes.

Of course, he was immediately forgiven.

I grinned and instantly caught up to him. "Do you know that when you pout your lower lip sticks out a little bit and it makes me want to lick you up against that tree?" I asked.

He groaned a bit. "One day..."

"One day what?" I asked, watching his muscles flex and release in the perfect movement he called "running." I would have labeled it as more of a moderate walk, but I didn't want to insult his human abilities. "We could do it today if you're interested," I teased.

"No... one... day... " he paused, panting a bit as we "ran" up a small hill. "One day... more than licking!"

And with that, he must have found a bit of extra energy because suddenly he was running faster up the hill.

I glanced at him and tried to gauge exactly how badly I'd goofed up based on the level of tension in his jaw. Hmmm, not good. Not so bad though. Nothing that some blueberry crumble and an apology couldn't fix.

"Sorry Jasper," I offered.

He ran a few more steps before he responded. "Sorry for what?" he asked.

"Sorry that I frustrate you?" I replied, hoping that was enough.

His jaw relaxed a small amount, though I could tell the baked treat would definitely be necessary as well.

"I know. It's not your fault. I don't know. I just expected that it would be different..." he trailed off after finally speaking more than a few seconds. "I mean, I should be struggling to keep up with you as we... run... I shouldn't have to prod you just to keep up with me when you can obviously run so much faster."

"Oh! Jasper, no! I just do that because I like to watch you run. Your... um... butt. It's kinda hot, especially when you run," I explained.

"No, Edward... I mean, yes, it's good that you like my butt... but when you said you'd been around for so long I just expected, well, I don't know what I expected. I know you're new to everything. That's fine. I guess I just expected your first acknowledgment that I even have an ass to come a little sooner... like maybe in a bedroom. And definitely not during a fight."

"I... wait... what? A fight? I don't want to fight with you. Whatever you want is fine. Did you want me to say more about your butt, Jasper? I can do that! I've been holding back, I promise! It's kind of perfect. Rather globe-like really," I tried to explain.

"No Edward, no... that's not..." he stopped running and walked over to a nearby tree to lean against it. "I'm just frustrated, I guess. I'm sorry. It's my fault. I love being with you, I just can't help wanting more. We'll figure it out, I know. But not even just the sex stuff, I just always expected I'd be the one holding you back. You have the ability to do so much but you're just happy to be behind me—watching me or doing whatever I want."

But I'd already come to an instant stop. This was about more than running. I heard what he hadn't said. "I'm holding you back?" I took a step backward. "I'm holding you... back?" I whispered a second time, backing away further.

Oh, no. No, no, no. No, Jasper. I didn't want to hold you back. You deserve everything. I've always known I wasn't good enough. I wasn't even human.

I took another step away from him.

"No, Edward, that's not what I meant. I didn't mean that you're holding me back. I just meant that I... didn't know what to expect and I guess I just guessed wrong. I've never been in a relationship with a vampire, you know? And how could you know either? We're doing so good, I think, all things considered. I didn't mean that like it sounded, Edward. I'm not unhappy. I like you a lot. I'll wait until you're ready. I have no problem with that."

I took another step back. "I'm sorry, Jasper, I'm sorry," I breathed.

"No, Edward, no. Come here please." He stepped toward me.

I stepped back. I never should have... I wasn't thinking. Of course he wanted more. What he wanted, well, I couldn't do that. I couldn't even think about that. I mean, I'd imagined maybe a little bit of that once or twice. Or, okay, at least 23 since this morning, but there was no way... I should have known I wasn't enough. I'd been kidding myself, thinking he liked cold showers.

I took another step backwards.

"Edward no. We're not back to this again," he said firmly. "Come here."

I shook my head.

"Dammit Edward! I'm just a stupid guy. I say and do stupid things but it doesn't mean I don't like you. Fuck. Half the problem is I like you too much."

I just shook my head, and turned away. I guess I could go back and pack up my things. I bet Esme could return most of my new kitchen equipment to the store. And I'd just ship back my library books or something. It wouldn't take me long to pack. I'd just have to transfer and finish next year at another school. I heard Ithaca had a good music program. Maybe I'd go there. I wondered when their application deadline was.

"Edward, stop! Stop fucking thinking!" he yelled from behind me.

And then... then it was all my fault. I wasn't paying attention as I walked away. I was thinking of where I'd go, how I'd possibly be able to live without him, and I just didn't notice. And then it was too late. I heard as his foot slipped on a patch of ice as he ran to catch up to me. And I couldn't turn back and catch him in time.

He went flying out onto the street.

I turned in time to see him land, sprawled across the pavement. It was an image that I knew would never, could never, leave my mind. And I heard, heard as the rocky street tore through his clothes and tore into his skin.

"No!" I cried, before instinctively breathing in. And of course then I smelled it... the "it" that governed my existence and woke the monster within. The aroma heightened my already powerful senses.

"No!" I growled it this time, but this time I was addressing myself. Edward, No. I stopped breathing. No.

No. My mouth instantly filled with venom and I crouched instinctively.

No. I swallowed. Control. I had to get in control.

No. No. No.

No to the monster. Lock the monster away.

No. It wanted the blood that was all too fresh and far too close.

No.

But... now what? There was no Carlisle to turn to.

I had to do this.

No. I couldn't. The fire burned in my throat. I growled.

But, I had to. Yes. I'd been through medical school twice. I could do this.

I took a deep breath and let it burn and rage within me.

In and out. In and out. I straightened out of my crouch.

I could do this. I looked at Jasper who looked to be in shock.

I swallowed. Control.

And then I dashed to Jasper, who was already starting to get up but watching me warily.

"Where are you hurt?" I asked.

"Oh, I'm fine, Edward. Just a scraped knee and my hands are a little scratched up. No big deal. Are you okay though?"

I ignored his question. "You're bleeding. I can help. Do you need stitches?" I asked. I looked around, nothing but trees and woods surrounded us. We ran the relatively deserted stretch of road so I could be free to be myself. But now I simply wished we'd decided to run laps around the nearest hospital.

"No, I'm fine," he insisted, and leaned on me to get up.

"You're not fine! Stop saying you're fine!" I cried. "You're bleeding!"

"Edward, it happens. I'm sorry, but it happens and it'll happen again. I'm human remember?"

I helped him move toward a patch of drier ground and sat him down.

He raised his eyebrow.

"Just stay still," I told him. "Don't move, please." I was straining to stay in control and sudden movement on his part could mean disaster. I took off the jacket that I hadn't needed to begin with and tore it into strips. I carefully wrapped them around his knee and palms.

"This is really unnecessary," he said at one point.

"Be quiet or I'll wrap one of these around your mouth," I teased in a strained voice, proud of myself for being able to joke in the face of the blood still seeping out of Jasper's knee. I gulped at the thought, swallowing hard. Focus, Edward.

When he was covered in my makeshift bandages, I picked him up in my arms and started running as quickly as I dared back to the campus health center.

We would have gotten there a good deal faster had Jasper not fought and kicked and struggled the whole way. I had to assume he hit his head a little during the fall, because he normally liked to be in my arms.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

I paced back and forth while the blueberry crumble baked.

When I'd finally gotten Jasper back to his room, he kissed me lightly on the lips and said he'd see me tomorrow. I hadn't even been invited in.

I got his text on the way back to my apartment saying that everything was fine and that we'd talk tomorrow. But I wasn't convinced.

No, I definitely didn't like this. I know we needed to talk, but I didn't like the whole "waiting until tomorrow" thing much at all.

When I got home I immediately put the dessert into the oven, thinking I'd bring it to Jasper's with me in the morning. But quite frankly, I had little else to do and baking reminded me of Jasper. But now that it was in the oven, I again had more free time than I appreciated.

I decided to sit on my bed and wait while the crumble finished baking. The whole pacing thing wasn't calming me down. Perhaps Jasper's scent would help. I buried my head in my comforter and inhaled the sweet scent. Unfortunately, it only served to remind me of the events that occurred earlier that day.

Growling, I got back up and paced some more. I couldn't stop thinking about what Jasper had said to me. And the memory of his blood burned in my nose. I paced faster, and wrung my hands, decidedly unsettled. I picked up a pen off my desk and ground it into millions of tiny pieces. There. Now it felt as good as I did. Crushed.

I grabbed another one and did the same thing.

Shit.

Just then the timer started going off on the oven. I quickly shut it off and removed the dessert that I hoped would smell far better to Jasper than it did to me.

I sighed. Why was I thinking some sugar and blueberries was going to make Jasper want me? I was so stupid.

I set the dessert down on a cooling rack, turned off the oven, and then went and got my coat and keys. I was hurt and confused, not to mention all twisted up because of Jasper's blood.

And I was unwilling to wait until tomorrow to not be.

I marched out the door in the direction of Jasper's.

Well, technically, I marched outside before turning around and quickly returning to change into the most sexually unambiguous pants I could find. After all, Jasper said he wanted to know what I wanted.

And I marched out the door a second time. Except I may have returned one more time to grab the blueberry treat to take with me. It couldn't hurt.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

I pounded on Jasper's door. I knew he was in there, I could hear him breathing.

"Edward, not now," he called to the door.

"No. Open up." I wasn't taking "no" for an answer. I smelled his blood again but refused to give in to it. So what if I had to swallow every three seconds?

"Edward, seriously, tomorrow, okay? It's not a good time," he replied.

"If you don't open up, I'll just take the door of the hinges." I threatened in a whisper just loud enough for him to hear through the door.

"Fine. Just a second." He sighed and I heard him pull on a pair of jeans and a shirt.

"Don't say I didn't warn you..." he muttered as he opened the door.

I thrust the baked good at him. A fresh wave of his concentrated scent hit my nose. I gulped. "Here," I said curtly. "Now I'll go if you want."

He thought for a moment. "Can you put it on the table for me? It's too hot for me to take from you."

I nodded. It was straight out of the oven, and of course I hadn't used oven mitts. I set it down in the kitchen, noticing that he shut the door behind me. I guessed that was a good sign.

After doing so, I headed back into the living room where Jasper waited.

"Blueberry crumble," I said.

"Thanks," he replied.

I looked at him.

"Okay, I'll go." I walked to the door.

"It's up to you," he said.

I paused with my hand on the doorknob.

"I don't want you to be in pain," he said after a moment.

"Me?" I asked confused.

"Well, I was cleaning some gravel out of my hand and I saw what being so close to my blood did to you this morning," he explained.

"I'll just have to get used to it. As you said, you're human, it's going to happen," I replied.

"But, I need you to not overreact when it does. A scraped knee does not warrant a trip to the health center. That was embarrassing," he explained.

"And ineffective, apparently." I muttered. He was still cleaning out his wound, so clearly the nurse hadn't done a very good job. "Well, would you like me to help? I have better eyes." I wasn't bragging, it was just a fact.

After hesitating just a moment, he agreed. "That would be helpful. I'm having trouble with this one because I'm right-handed."

He handed me a pair of tweezers and a box of tissues and sat down on the couch and held out his hand. I crouched in front of him.

"Wait... before you start... I just wanted to say that we'll figure this out, you know. We just need to talk to each other. I need to speak up before something bothers me enough to yell at you about it, and you need to... well, you need to not run away when things get difficult," he said quietly.

"Jasper, I'm a vampire and you're a human," I pointed out.

"Exactly. That's why I know things will occasionally be difficult," he said.

"But what if they're impossible?" I asked.

"We'll just have to cross that bridge when we come to it. But let's not let the unknown break us up just yet. I'm not ready to give up," he said. "Unless you want to?"

"No, I just worry..." I replied.

"You always worry," he smiled. "Can you do me a favor and stop?"

"I can try," I said doubtfully.

"Also, I'm sorry if I implied you hold me back. That's not at all the way I meant it. But I apologize if that's the way it sounded. And also...I'm really glad you came over tonight, by the way. I need to know what you want instead of always having you do exactly what I want, or what you think I want," he added.

I nodded. We had a lot to work out. But for now, it was one step at a time. And that began with helping my beautiful but wounded man. I looked at his very red, raw palm. I gulped. Here goes nothing. I picked up the crude implements and went to work. I cringed every time he did as I dug around in his cuts to remove the foreign objects. I hated that I was causing him pain. Then again, every time I reopened a wound and gulped in response, I noticed that he responded in kind. I kept my eyes lowered from him so he wouldn't be worried by my darkened eyes.

After I finished his first hand, we decided I'd better check the other. The tension that had been present had by now fully dissipated, and the whole operation felt decidedly intimate. In reality, I knew it was foolhardy on both of our parts. I should hardly be so close to him while his blood was so exposed. But apparently I was getting good at ignoring what was smart.

I was as gentle as I could be while still being thorough. It was painful to be so close, but I knew my work would be less painful for him than if he tried again himself. He'd tripped because of me, so in a way, helping him felt like a way to apologize for walking away.

When I finished cleaning out his other palm, I put down the tweezers but I couldn't seem to let it go of his hand. After holding it carefully in mine for a minute, I bent my head down and kissed his wound lightly.

He gaped at me.

"I just had to... I wanted to kiss it all better?" I tried to explain. "Is that okay?" Esme used to do that when my siblings and I threw each other off cliffs or chucked boulders on each other. It helped forget the temporary pain.

He nodded, and I noticed his own eyes turned a darker gray. He held out his other hand.

I understood his request. I placed my lips on his other palm and gently kissed it.

"I think you should... check my knees," he said in a low voice.

I nodded.

He stood up and took off his jeans and sweater, before sitting back down again on the couch, this time clad only in a t-shirt and boxers. He had been wearing his "Guitarists do it with a strap-on" t-shirt beneath his sweater. I grinned when I saw it. He just shrugged lazily, unapologetic.

I went to work once again, first on one knee then the other, carefully removing each and every tiny stone from his cuts while Jasper watched me closely. And then when I was done, I looked up at him. He nodded his permission. So I gently kissed each knee.

I moved to clean up and get my damaged Jasper a few bandages but he put his hand on my shoulder, wanting me to stay. "Again?" he whispered.

I nodded. But this time I swallowed and ever-so-gently placed an open mouthed kiss on his less-wounded knee.

A shiver ran down his spine.

"I'm sorry," I pulled back and immediately apologized. "I didn't know... " How could I know what would feel good to him and what would irritate his wounds?

"Neither of us do, Edward. But we'll figure it out together, okay?" he said. "And besides, I didn't shiver because it was unpleasant."

"Oh," I responded, pleased. That was certainly good news. It hadn't been unpleasant for me either. There were no words to describe exactly how good he tasted.

I kissed each knee another time, and then each of his palms, and then, because he leaned down and because I couldn't help it, I kissed his perfect red lips.

"Are you... did you get hurt anywhere else?" I asked.

He showed me his scraped forearm.

"I see. I'll take care of it?" I offered.

He held out his arm to me. I carefully removed the small specks of earth and stone that flecked his broken skin. And when I was done, I slowly moved my lips up his arm, repeatedly pressing my mouth to him as gently as I could.

"Anywhere else?"

I saw his eyes flicker, and he nodded. He pulled up the leg of his boxers and motioned toward his thigh. His upper leg was already turning colors.

"You're bruised," I stated.

He nodded.

"Should I...?" I trailed off.

He nodded again and twisted so he could lay on the couch with his entire hip outstretched.

I took a breath, and ran my hand over his hip lightly. I could hear his breath catch in his throat in response. I tried my best not to hurt him further while I gently began to massage his leg where he had fallen. The small noises he made as I worked on him delighted me and soon my lips found his thigh as well, and I licked and lightly sucked my way across his injured flesh.

When I finally lifted my mouth from him, I couldn't help but try again. "Anywhere else?"

He nodded solemnly, and pressed his hand to his chest.

"Your chest?" I asked.

"No," he said quietly. "My heart."

"Your... heart? Can I help?" I whispered.

He pulled me to him for a deep kiss. When we broke he pressed our hands to his chest. "Don't run out on me, you hear me?"

I nodded and looked down. "I'm sorry... I just panicked."

"I know," he replied. "Just don't do it again."

"Okay," I agreed.

"Okay," he said, smiling. "That helps." And then he kissed me again.

After kissing him back, I stood up and pulled him with me into the bathroom, where he directed me toward his antiseptic cream and bandages. I lovingly placed them on his cuts.

"You like to take care of me?" he smiled softly at me when I finished.

"I love to take care of you," I corrected.

"Imagine how I feel then; I'm never able to take care of you because you never share what you want or need with me. You're always so focused on me. That's why I need you to try, okay?" he said softly. "Can you do that for me? Let me take care of you sometimes too?"

"But... I just need you," I said.

He sighed, but it was a happy one. "What am I gonna do with you?"

"Kiss me?" I said hopefully.

He did.

And then he pulled me to his bedroom, and lay town on his bed, patting the space next to him. I quickly slipped off my shoes and joined him on the bed.

He started kissing me, and eventually hitched his leg over mine. But soon I felt I had to interrupt. I wanted to be clear about something very important. "Umm, Jasper? I don't want you to have to shower tonight," I said.

"Oh," he said as he rolled apart from me on the bed. He faced the wall and I saw tension return to his neck and jaw.

Oh. Well that was not what I was expecting. Did he like cold showers after all? "I mean, if you want to take a shower you can..." I offered.

"Of course I don't want to, but doing that is better than not touching you at all. I just have to keep telling myself that we'll get somewhere eventually and that just means I may be frustrated in the process sometimes. A few extra showers never hurt anyone."

I suddenly understood what he thought I meant. Had he not seen my pants? I thought I was being perfectly clear but I guess I had to spell it out for him. "No, I meant that I don't want you to have to shower because you're frustrated, I want to, um, give you a happier ending. That's what I want. You wanted to know. So there, I told you," I said haughtily.

"A happy ending?" he snorted.

"Fine, Jasper, fine. I want to make you orgasm. Is that clear enough? I want to cause you to have an erection and then make it go away by some means other than freezing cold water."

"I love it when you talk dirty," he laughed.

"Fuck you," I replied and rolled over on the bed so I was facing away from him.

He pulled me back. "Stop teasing me and I'll stop teasing you," he said when I'd rolled back to face him again.

"I'm not teasing," I replied.

He eyed me warily.

"I'm not!" I repeated firmly.

"Then I take back my teasing. That was the hottest request I've ever gotten _not_ to shower," he grinned.

I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Don't you put that out there if you're not going to use it," Jasper warned.

I grinned and moved to kneel between his outstretched legs. I moved over him so I could kiss him lightly on the lips. But he didn't let go, and opened our kiss into one that was deep and passionate.

When Jasper broke for air, I took a second to remove his clothing. Literally. Within one second, I tore off every piece of his clothing and threw it to the floor. I'd replace them later if he needed new ones.

He gasped.

I was so worked up that it took me a half-second to realize why.

He was completely naked.

I stared down at the man below me. "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking, I didn't mean to...Too soon? I'm sorry, we weren't there yet, were we? That was very rude of me." The problem was, I was effectively apologizing to his penis. I couldn't take my eyes off it. I hoped Jasper understood that the apology applied to the rest of him as well.

"Fuck no... this is great!" Jasper grinned. I laughed at his enthusiasm.

"Well, it's okay anyways," I teased, trying my best to sound completely indifferent. However, I was still unable to peel my eyes away from his erection, which didn't exactly work in favor of my attempted nonchalance.

I just couldn't stop looking at him, the perfect beauty that had been previously hidden beneath layers of clothing. I knew I was staring, but I just didn't care.

After a bit I heard Jasper cough. Well, it didn't sound serious. He'd live. I just kept looking.

But then he coughed again. "Are you okay?" I finally asked, by brain slow to locate the words due to my intense concentration on Jasper's cock.

He snorted. "You know I'm more than a pretty penis, Edward. You haven't looked at my eyes in five minutes."

"No," I said, finally tearing my eyes off his groin and looking him in the eyes. "It was less than four minutes."

He raised an eyebrow.

"Fine," I sighed, and reached up to kiss him on the lips, taking one more quick glance at his penis before my lips reached their destination. After kissing him lips until I feared they'd bruise worse than his leg, I moved on to press others all over his face. He was beautiful.

He laughed and stopped me. "My turn!"

He reached up to my t-shirt and gave it a hard tug. Unfortunately its threads held firm and didn't tear at all. He tried a second time to rip it off me. That time I coughed, as the neck pulled against my throat.

He turned bright red. "I, uh... Wow. That was so much hotter in my head."

"Don't worry; t-shirts are tough. Shall I get it started for you?" I offered. I tore the top down and the bottom up, so that he had only about an inch and a half to tear.

He laughed, and this time he kissed me as he ripped through the remaining material and pulled the shirt off me.

"Jeans too?" I asked, knowing he'd never be able to tear them off me, and even with a scissors it would probably take at least 15 minutes. Besides, I kind of liked this pair.

He nodded, licking his lips.

I stood, pulled them off and threw them to the ground with the rest of our mangled clothing. But I had to clarify one thing before we did anything else. "Um, Jasper, I, uh, I have to leave my boxers on. Is that okay?"

"I can't see?" he asked, pouting a little bit.

"Well, technically you could _see,_ but you can't touch. I'm sorry. It would be dangerous." I was hard and if I leaked at all or, god forbid, came on him, we'd be spending the night in the ER instead of his bed.

He thought for a moment. "You'll explain later?" he asked finally.

"Yes," I acquiesced. He had a right to know.

"Deal," he said. "Show me."

I hadn't expected him to take me up on that. I hadn't been exactly offering. But I was sort of trapped.

"I...er..." I trailed off, hesitating.

"Oh for god's sake, Edward. Take off your boxers before I take them off for you," he said, exasperated.

"What? You gonna rip them off?" I teased.

He stood up, presumably to show me exactly how he was going to remove them, so I stopped him quickly. "Okay, okay, stay where you are. It is safer. I'll do it."

He nodded his approval and stared at me with eager eyes from his position by the bed.

I rolled my eyes and pulled down my boxers.

Suddenly I felt very exposed and vulnerable. It was a feeling to which I was quite unaccustomed as a vampire.

He gaped at me. I shifted uncomfortably and crossed my arms over my chest.

"Spin," he commanded after far too many seconds had passed.

_Was he kidding?_

"Spin," he said again. Apparently he was not.

So I completed the most self-conscious 360 degree turn of my long existence.

When I faced him again, I decided that turnabout was most definitely fair play. "Your turn," I commanded.

He laughed and danced in a little circle. I groaned. He was such a goof. How he could dance while sporting that erection was beyond me.

And when he faced me again, he took a step toward me.

"No Jasper, don't," I warned as I backed up against the far wall.

But I was learning that Jasper rarely did as I asked when he was determined. And sure enough, he slowly walked toward me.

"You can't touch me," I said again.

"Incorrect. I can't touch you _there_. But I can touch you _here,_" he said, reaching out to take my hand. "We've done that plenty of times.

"And of course, I can touch you _here,_" he said taking another step forward and running his hand up my arm until he touched my chest. "We've definitely done this before and we're both just fine.

"And here," he continued, moving his hand toward my shoulder. But as soon as he touched my shoulder, he jerked is hand away and stepped back. "Well, I guess I'd better not touch you there..."

"What?" I gasped. "Why?" What the hell? Emmett hadn't warned me about shoulder touching!

But of course, Jasper just started cackling. I rolled my eyes. "Fuck you, Jasper," I laughed.

He smiled back. "See? We're just fine. Of course I can touch you." He placed his hand back on my shoulder, and carefully ran is other along my jawline. "And I bet, if we're very careful, I can even kiss you," he whispered and awkwardly leaned in to kiss me.

I leaned toward him too, unable not to. I sighed when he pulled back.

"Again?" I asked.

He grinned in response, recognizing his own line. "Please."

I placed my hands around his hips so I could ensure we maintained adequate distance from our waists down. Meanwhile, he ran his fingers through my hair and pulled my mouth to meet his. I kissed him hungrily. I would never get over the feeling of his lips on mine. Even my perfect memory seemed to do the feeling great injustice.

And when I realized that we were not only kissing but doing so while completely naked, I nearly came undone. I moaned into his mouth at the recognition.

When he pulled back for air, I rested my head on his shoulder and stared down between us. So close but so far. But then again, so far so good?

"You know, I think... well, there's just one other thing I think we can do," he said in a low voice. "Trust me?"

I watched as he ran his hand down my chest and across my abdomen and then down further to my hip before I panicked. "Jasper, no! Stop!"

"Is it... venomous... your, um...?" he asked, but he didn't pull his hand away from me.

I nodded, inexplicably ashamed for him to know. My body would limit us in so many ways.

"So technically I could touch your skin_, _but just not your—" he started to ask before I stopped him. This was crazy talk. Playing with fire. "Jasper," I threatened. "Let's not find out, okay?"

But all he said was, "I'll be careful. Don't move." I forced myself to be as still as stone while he ever so slowly began to move his hand. I watched warily as he slid it down and then very slowly gripped around the base of my length.

"Oh my god," I breathed. Hand around my... Jasper's hand was around my... Jasper's hot palm was gripping my...Ohhhh. Oh my...

"Nice, isn't it?" he asked.

I felt his muscles shift to move and I instantly pulled his arm off me. "You can't get any closer. What you just did, that can't happen again. Ever." I groaned at the thought but it was far far too dangerous.

I pulled up my boxers and groaned at the feel of the harsh material where his soft hand had just been.

"We'll see," he replied.

"Mmmm," I replied noncommittally as I once again focused on the stunning creature standing before me. "You know you're so beautiful." It was true. I definitely wasn't saying it only to distract him.

"No," he corrected. "You're beautiful. You're perfect."

I just shook my head and led him back to his bed. He lay down on his back and once again I perched over him.

I began kissing him in earnest, and he responded with appropriate enthusiasm. Our tongues found each other as much as I dared. The last thing we needed was his mouth to swell up. But my hands, I was free to use those, and they roamed across his chest and body, while his own followed suit. Eventually I even began licking his chest and sucking gently on his nipples just like I learned he enjoyed.

But then when Jasper bucked a little beneath me, seeking additional contact, I knew the time had come to very, very carefully move my hands further down on his body than they had ever traveled before.

I stopped kissing him and gazed down at his perfect flesh and my eventual destination. I think he understood my hesitation, because he held remarkably still, but for his hand, which he ran through my hair when he whispered, "You can do this."

I gave myself a quick pep talk that for the first time included the phrases "don't pull too hard," "Jasper's perfect cock," and "not yours to keep," and then ever so slowly moved my hand down on his body toward his straining erection. I could feel his glorious heat as I got closer.

I held my breath and whispered a quick prayer that I wouldn't break him.

I then took my finger and ran it ever-so-lightly along the top of his length. Oh. Oh! He gasped in response, but I could barely focus on that. I had just touched Jasper's penis and he was still alive. In fact, he looked quite happy.

I smiled at this. "Can I do it again?"

"Please," he groaned.

So I did. And this time I did it with two fingers. He seemed to like that even more, and I, I was entranced by the feel of his hot skin and underlying hardness. I checked again. Excellent, everything was still attached and behaving as it should be.

"Edward, please, more. Put your hand around my cock."

I nodded and carefully picked him up in my hand. But before I could squeeze him too hard, I put him back down. I didn't want to hurt him.

"Again," he pleaded. "Longer."

Well, if that's what he wanted. I picked him up again and looked at him questioningly. "Is this okay?"

"Fuck yes," he said, squirming below me. "Now...just move your hand a bit."

"Move it?" I asked.

"I'll show you," he said, and placed his hand around mine. But before he placed it again on his penis, he moved our hands to his mouth and licked them generously. Then he took my hand and gently wrapped it again around him, and proceeded to guide it up and down his length.

I nodded in understanding. He wanted me to do to him just what I did to myself that one time. Well, those two times. Okay, fine, 37 times. Stupid vow.

He began breathing heavily as we stroked him together, speeding up at times, slower at others. I pinched his nipple with my other hand while our hands moved and he groaned.

He liked that. I could tell. And then he pulled away, but I decided I should leave mine where it was because he did seem to enjoy that so very much.

The sounds he made threatened to make me lose my tenuous control, but this was too important to mess up. Jasper would _not_ shower tonight. Besides, if I could resist his blood, surely I could resist his moaning. And hissing. And growling. And also that long string of expletives that resulted when I used my other hand to maybe touch his balls a little bit.

I continued to stroke him as he began to writhe beneath me, and instinct told me that he was not going to hold out much longer. I decided to urge him on. "Jasper, you have no idea how completely amazing you are. You're so beautiful beneath me. I can't believe how hot it is to hold you in my hand like this. We are seriously going to do this agai—"

And then he suddenly interrupted me. "Ugh, Edward, I'm coming," he said suddenly.

I watched in awe and congratulated him appropriately when he came all over my hand. His body tensed and released, his muscles flexing and arching and his eyes wild. I liked learning these new aspects of his body. Just watching him made my own erection strain against my boxers.

"Fuck," he moaned as he settled back into the bed looking all flushed and completely satisfied.

He handed me a box of tissues from his nightstand and I cleaned him up. As I did so, I decided that after all of the fluids Jasper lost today between running and sweating and bleeding and orgasming, I'd need to make sure he didn't get dehydrated. Also, I decided the next thing I baked for him had better be some sort of meat pie. He'd need protein. I wondered if Rachel Ray had any good recipes. But for now, water would have to do.

I got up and went to the bathroom to get him a glass of water. While I was there, I had an idea.

"Umm... do you mind if I take a quick shower? I uh, want to wash my hair..." I asked when I got back to Jasper's bedroom. I tried to sound casual about it but he glanced immediately at my tented shorts and chuckled while he pointed toward the clean towels.

"Unless you want me to help you?" he called after me.

"No, I'm good!" I squeaked out before quickly shutting and locking the bathroom door behind me.

_

* * *

_

A/N: Holy shit. Did Edward just get Jasper off? Geez... I better slow these guys down. It only took... 17 chapters. :)


	18. Chapter 18: JSPR WNTS DWRD

**Said and done**

**Chapter 18: JSPR WNTS DWRD**

_A/N: *waves hi* Did ya miss me? Yeah, I took a week off. Sorry about that. Anyway, I do hope you enjoy this next chapter. :)_

_In other news, there are oh so many contests and that sort of thing going on right now, which means there are so many great new stories being written in the fandom. In particular, I'll mention that Slash Backslash 2.0 is currently accepting entries, and I may have written a one-shot for it. If you want to read it, it's "Worth the Climb, or The one where things come out in the dark" and you can find it under my profile or, even better, on the SBS 2.0 community website, where you can read all of the amazing entries ( http:/ /www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/community/Slash_Backslash_2_0/68069/99/0/1/ ). Seriously, there are some amazing one-shots there. Go read! Well, go read after you finish reading and reviewing SaD anyway. :)_

_And then, tonight, after you finish reading all the SBS one-shots, go locate your sneakers and a blanket and go outside and look up. The Perseids are in town and there's nothing more beautiful than watching the meteors shoot through the sky. Puts things in perspective, I think. Plus, I hear you can wish on falling stars. Note: Wishing that SaD would update more often is not recommended. Also, this is primarily applies to readers in the northern hemisphere, I'm afraid, as I'm uncertain how well you can see the Perseids from the southern hemisphere. Also, stargazing is not suggested for those readers in locations where it is currently raining. ;) _

_Whew! Okay. Now, just a few last things: _

_1.)Many, many thanks to TwilightMundi for betaing this chapter. She's fantastic. js.  
__2.)The song for this chapter is "Heartbeat Song" by The Futureheads. It is available at: _www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=saYWZ837FeA _or just click the link in my profile.  
__3.)Stephenie Meyer owns everything you recognize. Rated M for mature themes and slash. _

_And, here we go... Enjoy!_

* * *

I looked up from my laptop at Jasper and informed him that unless he actually started studying, he'd never complete any of his assignments. He'd been looking at me more than his homework ever since he'd gotten to my place.

He huffed in response and looked back down at his textbook that sat on my desk.

But two minutes later he was watching me again. "Can I help you?" I smirked.

"Well, you're just sitting there in the sun all handsome looking, and making it impossible to concentrate on my Ugaritic," he explained.

I nodded. Ugaritic was one of the more uninteresting ancient Semitic languages and he was still learning the alphabet. Borrrrring! But he needed to study. I shifted where I was sitting on my bed so I was no longer in the pool of sunlight that came though my window. While I enjoyed the warmth on my skin, I didn't want to distract Jasper who, for some unknowable reason, liked seeing my skin in the natural light.

"Here, I have an idea," I said, tearing a sheet of paper from my notebook. I quickly drew dozens of the little wedges on the paper, phonetically spelling out a message to Jasper, and handed it to him, figuring he would learn the letters while translating my note.

"Gee thanks," he laughed, when I jumped up to hand him the paper, but he dutifully went to work.

After a few minutes he looked up. "KSS DWRD PLS?"

I nodded, smiling, and watching as he supplied the missing vowels and understanding dawned on him, at which point he set his textbook aside and came over to me.

"My pleasure," he whispered and kissed me deeply. I sighed and he hummed in pleasure. His lips absolutely belonged on mine. Too bad he had to breathe, I thought as we parted.

"Okay. Enough. Back to work," I told him sternly.

He grinned at me, but then returned to the desk, wiggling his hips as he did so, earning a groan from me.

I watched as he grabbed the piece of paper and went to work, apparently writing a response just for me. He was concentrating hard, and his tongue stuck out of the side of his mouth as he did so. I swallowed repeatedly at the sight.

After a few minutes, he came over to the bed and returned the folded piece of paper to me. I smiled, wondering what message he'd labored over. I watched him walk back to the desk and pretend to study, while instead watching me out of the corner of his eye.

I quickly opened the piece of paper and looked at the wedges. It wasn't perfect, but it was damn close.

JSPR WNTS DWRD RT FKNG NW

Ugaritic translation had suddenly become far more interesting.

I growled. Within a half second, I jumped off the bed, darted to the desk, tossed Jasper's book to the floor, picked him up off the desk chair, and dropped him carefully on the bed. The next half-second was spent tearing off our shirts, and climbing on top of him and placing my lips on his, where they remained nearly constantly for the next four minutes until he was literally gasping for air.

As he panted, I took the opportunity to explore his chest. I moved one arm beneath him so he arched up into me. I then gently ran my open mouth along his ribs and up until I stopped and teased one nipple with my tongue, while my other hand toyed with the other.

He was writhing beneath me, his hands alternately fisting my hair and pushing my head down onto his skin. Eventually, I pulled myself up and studied his face—his messy curls, his hooded eyes, his open mouth breathing heavily, I could see no signs of hesitancy, which made me inordinately happy because I was somewhat unwilling to stop myself.

I took a second to steady myself and then very gently ran my hand over his hard length through his jeans.

"Oh my fucking god," he whispered, and pulled me back down to kiss him again. But I resisted his pull and decided to use this as a learning opportunity. It was the least I could do having put an early stop to his studying. I'd make sure he never forgot at least one aspect of his Ugaritic studies.

"Oh my fucking Baal," I whispered.

He rolled his eyes at me but smiled despite himself.

I palmed him again and waited for his response.

He looked at me confused.

"Oh..." I prompted, tightening my hand around him very slightly.

"Oh god—I mean... Oh... Dagon?"

"Yes!" I whispered. I moved again over his cock, wondering if he understood my game.

"Unnngh, oh... fucking... Yarikh?"

I nodded and swallowed before leaning down to kiss him deeply while my hand continued to rub against his jeans.

When we parted lips, he gasped out, "Mother of Molech, Edward!"

I chuckled and removed my hand from him, instead settling my weight over him and pressing my own erection against his. Perfection. If there was nothing more for me after this existence, I think I'd be okay with it having experienced Jasper's heat rubbing against me. There was nothing that could possibly supersede this.

While I ground against him, Jasper ran his teeth along my neck and nipped at my shoulder.

"Jasper!" I called out in a strangled voice.

"You like that, huh?" he asked, chuckling.

He then bit along my neck and I hissed in response. Even if his teeth could never pierce my flesh, there was something about the act of biting that was incredibly hot.

I forced his head up to meet mine again, unwilling for our mouths to be apart as he arched below me. His tongue eagerly met mine, his slick soft wetness unbearably erotic as it tangled with the smooth, hardness that was mine.

I felt my control slipping as I felt him work himself against me. This was dangerous. I had to get a grip. I pulled my lips from Jasper's, closed my eyes and stopped breathing and froze my body above him, hoping to minimize the assault on my senses.

I remaining above Jasper, however, trying to maintain enough control so that I wouldn't have to pull away completely. I breathed out slowly, as Jasper continued to grind against me.

"Stay," he whispered. And I felt his lips placing brief chaste kisses all over my face.

Yes. I would stay for him. He needed this.

And to be honest, so did I.

"Okay," I breathed, loosening enough to meet Jasper's rocking hips this time as he pulled me down more tightly against him.

"Okay," I repeated, pressing my forehead against his and opening my eyes, so I could stare into his.

"Okay," I whispered, a final time, as I breathed in his blood and his breath and his sweat.

And we moved together and against each other, pressing and grinding as if to erase the layers between us.

The combination of his scent, his warmth, his friction, and the look of more than lust in his eyes, caused the warm tightening in my abdomen to swell and move over me like the incoming tide. Anticipating my now inevitable climax, I fought instinct and tightened the muscles necessary to ensure I would not thrust into him too hard. And then I let go, and allowed myself to be pulled under as wave after wave of my orgasm washed over me, racking my body.

"You're glorious," Jasper whispered some moments later.

I worked to focus my eyes on him, as he smiled lazily below me.

"Welcome back," he teased.

Right. Welcome back indeed. I wasn't sure where I'd gone, where he'd taken me or even how long I'd stayed, frankly. But I knew enough to hope we'd go again.

And then something occurred to me. I'd forgotten about Jasper, putting my own pleasure first. "Oh, shit! I'm sorry. I, Jasper, you... you didn't..."

"Cum? Well first of all, I most certainly _did. _But don't worry, you can watch next time. And second, from now on you can call me, "Master of the Ugaritic Pantheon and All Around Sex God."

"Like El," I teased, before placing a kiss on his nose and rolling off him to collapse next to him on the bed.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"In public?" I asked incredulously as Jasper and I walked to a local cafe for lunch. He had to be kidding me. He wanted to talk in a public place about sex. Did he not understand that everyone would hear? I told him as much but he just laughed and reminded me that humans didn't hear quite as well as I did.

"I think it would be a good neutral place to have the conversation," Jasper explained. I hesitated, still wondering if we could converse quietly enough. It was not the sort of conversation another human should overhear. But Jasper apparently took my silence as acquiescence.

"Great," he confirmed.

Though I suddenly had the feeling I'd agreed to something without intending to do so, I let it slide. We were almost at the cafe anyway.

Soon we were seated in a booth in the corner, Jasper with his large cup of French roast and a chicken salad sandwich, and I with a napkin I was slowly tearing to shreds. Jasper claimed _this _conversation required coffee. I watched him take a sip of his drink and hum his enjoyment as he swallowed. I could certainly understand how he would find pleasure in having deliciously hot liquid pour down his throat.

And there was the venom. I quickly swallowed a few times and tried to think about something else.

"Why do you always do that?" Jasper asked.

"Do what?" I wondered.

"Swallow. You're always swallowing," he explained.

"Oh, right. Well, uh, it's venom. I'm swallowing venom," I looked at the table and took my already mangled napkin and ground it into a pile of lint. I reached for another and began to assault it as well.

"Yeah. So, speaking of that, why don't you explain to me exactly what we're dealing with here. If you explain to me the specific dangers of being together physically, then I think we will be in the best position to decide _together_ what we can and cannot do."

I took a deep breath. "Well, there's everything you already know, of course. I'm strong enough to snap your neck or any _other_ part of your body if my control slips for even a second. I could squeeze you too hard and crush you. That kind of thing."

"Of course," he replied with a slight smile.

"And then there's my constant desire to drink you," I continued.

"Right. There is that," he said. "But what about the, um..." he trailed off.

"Venom," I spat out. "Well, vampires, we're highly poisonous. I've told you that before?"

He nodded.

"So I have to swallow constantly to kiss you, so I don't poison you with venom. That's why your lips and tongue sometimes get all swollen. It's from trace amounts of diluted venom that remains in my mouth. And pleasure, desire, want, all those things that I feel when I'm with you, they make the venom flow in my mouth more than normal. So you can imagine why I am constantly swallowing around you. You're perfect and gorgeous and you smell absolutely exquisite. It's a small wonder I don't actually end up drooling more often."

I paused and glanced up from the table at him. He was studying me intently, but he didn't look as upset as I expected. But then, I hadn't told him the worst part yet either.

"And, you see, it's not just in my mouth, the venom. Quite a fewof my bodily fluids are now venomous. Some extremely so," I explained.

"Like your..." Jasper trailed off.

I had to answer. He needed to know. "Yes. My..."

And then we both spoke at once.

"My seminal fluid," I finished, while Jasper whispered, "Your jizz."

I coughed. "Right, that," I replied. I quickly glanced around to make sure no one in the coffee shop had heard us. Luckily, there was no one close by.

I looked back at Jasper. He wasn't even blushing. But he did look thoughtful. Suspiciously so. So I was unsurprised with his next comment. "Well, that doesn't sound too bad. We can work around it. I'm sure there are plenty of things we can do."

"You have to understand, Jasper, that there probably _are_ things we could try, but we're really in uncharted territory here. This," I explained motioning back and forth between us, "It doesn't happen every day. Doubtless you've read of human and vampire sexual encounters, but those you've read are largely fictional. And I sincerely doubt you've encountered anything about homosexual encounters between vampires and humans. But even if you had, they'd almost have to be entirely fictional. Regardless of the type of encounter, the human partner rarely survives to write about it afterward. But I care about you too much. I will not hurt you."

"And I appreciate that. But I would also appreciate being able to touch you sexually. That's a part of adult relationships. So... you say there are things we could try. Want to fill me in on what that might be?" he asked.

"No," I replied. "I don't particularly want to give you ideas. As long as I keep my pants on, swallow every half-second, and constantly keep in mind your absolute fragility, I _think_ I can touch _you_ without accidentally killing you."

"Well, as great as that sounds, what if I want to touch you too?" he asked. "Wouldn't you like that?" he said in a low voice after licking his lips.

I swallowed 14 times in short succession. "Yes," I squeaked, my voice cracking. "But don't worry about my penis. I mean, my happiness. It is a small price to pay to be with you."

He humphed. "Well, you said humans rarely survive. That means that some do. How?"

"The vampire would have to somehow avoid not only not drinking, crushing, or otherwise breaking the human, but also the human couldn't come in contact with the venom because it would incinerate the human's flesh. And trust me, the burn is highly unpleasant. As I told you, I endured it for three days to become what I am today," I reminded him.

"Why is it okay if you wear boxers then, if it is so dangerous?" Jasper asked.

I shook my head in disbelief. Would he not be dissuaded? "It only burns living cells," I answered.

"So...just thinking out loud here... synthetics? Or maybe nonliving matter, like your cotton boxers, or say... latex?" he said, looking somewhat mischievous.

"Those would be fine barriers, yes," I confirmed.

"Great!" he said, looking far more excited than he had for the past few minutes. "We'd have used condoms anyway!"

"No, Jasper. What if there was a hole or what if one broke?" I reminded him.

"You'd know immediately," he countered. "Vampire, remember? You'd feel it." He grinned. "So we could just stop before there was any damage done."

"I...well... yes, I suppose I would know." I frowned.

"Perfect," he said. "Well, I'm done with my coffee. Are you ready to go?"

"I...wait...what? Oh, yes, I'm ready." I confirmed as Jasper rose and put on his coat.

Soon we were on our way out of the coffee shop, and I was quite sure that for the second time already that day, I'd been talked into something dangerous. Jasper was as clever as he was fragrant.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

While Jasper was in class the next day, I took the opportunity to run to the local CVS drugstore. I was almost completely out of shampoo and body wash. What can I say? I'd been showering a _lot_ lately now that Jasper was getting persistent in furthering our physical relationship.

I quickly found my usual selections, but then decided it wouldn't hurt to try new products. Especially those that Jasper used. I was quite sure CVS wouldn't sell "sweet red blood cell" scented body wash, but I wanted to smell like him as much as possible. So I ignored the glares of the salespeople hovering nearby and smelled all of the different containers until I located Jasper's various products.

And then, because there was at least another hour until Jasper got out of class, I decided to look through the store to see if there was anything I could maybe get Jasper as a gift. I wandered up and down the aisles. They had plenty of chocolate. Also, there was an intriguing sale on tube socks. But there had to be something better.

And then I saw it. The greeting card aisle... veritably bursting with reds and pinks and glitter and those grossly inaccurate portrayals of hearts that humans seemed to favor. It would have taken even a human less than a second to realize the cause. Valentine's Day.

And it was approaching quickly... I had only six days to decide on a card for Jasper. And there were so many to choose from. And that was only at this particular drug store. I'd never had cause to recognize the holiday before, but now the date meant something. And what if Jasper wanted more than one card. He certainly deserved more than one. But crap. What do you get the human you care about more than all others?

I decided to start looking at the cards in the hopes that I might stumble on the perfect message. Well, maybe not a perfect one—Hallmark was unlikely to print an "I like you enough not to drink you or let you touch my venomous penis again no matter how many times you try" card—but at least one that was acceptable.

Unfortunately, I realized almost immediately that all of the cards spoke of love. That was fine with me. I mean, I'd already pledged to care for him for the rest of my existence. Hell, I'd done that the first time I watched him lick his lips while eating blueberry pie. But of course I'd only voiced my commitment internally so as not to scare Jasper. Human males were supposed to be "commitmentphobic," according to Alice. And I didn't want to freak Jasper out. Perhaps if I found the right card, I mused.

I started going through the cards, reading them much more quickly than a human could have whenever the salespeople weren't watching. But I went through all of the cards twice, before determining that there wasn't a single one that had the message I wanted to convey to Jasper. I frowned, unsure of what to do. I decided I'd just have to check another store next time Jasper had class. Or perhaps I could order a card online and have it shipped overnight so I'd have it in time for the holiday. Well, it made sense for me to do a bit of research anyway before making a purchase. Perhaps Alice or Emmett or Rosalie would have some advice as to what I should get Jasper for our first Valentine's day together.

I started in the direction of the cash register but only made it a few aisles further until another section of the pharmacy caught my eye.

Condoms.  
Personal lubricants.  
Sexual enhancement aids.

I gulped and walked quickly past that section of the pharmacy and continued up to the cashier. No need to go down _that_ aisle. No sir. Except that... No. Absolutely not. I didn't need those items. They would just invite danger. I had to protect Jasper. But then... they called condoms protection for a reason, so maybe... But no. No. Edward. No. Absolutely not. Never.

Never, I growled.

But...

Maybe...

I shook my head and approached the cashier, unloading my purchases from my basket onto the counter.

"Did you find everything you wanted?" a perky little cashier girl asked.

Was she serious? Of course I hadn't. They hadn't exactly had a Valentine's Day card remotely appropriate for my boyfriend who may or may not be afraid of the word "love," and then of course I wanted condoms that would be certain not to tear even when I lost control during sex, but then, I didn't exactly have those in my basket either, now did I?

She looked at me with wide eyes. Well if she didn't want to know, why did she ask?

"Umm, did you want me to get my manager?" she squeaked.

"No. Just... forget it. It's not CVS' fault that I can't have sex," I sighed.

She turned bright red. "Uh... did you...do you have a CVS Extra Care card? Your, um... your shampoo is 10% off with the card?" she stammered.

I just shook my head and pulled out the exact change from my wallet and handed it to her, and picked up my bag of toiletries. I tried to smile at her and forced a thank you as I left. It wasn't her fault either.

"Thank you for shopping at CVS!" she called after me as I walked out the door.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Jasper and I were studying in my room the following night when I first caught a whiff of his approach.

"Shit, Jasper, time to go! Here, I'll walk you out," I said, thrusting his coat at him so he could put it on while I stuck his feet in his shoes and tied the laces. I threw his books in his backpack while he sat at my desk staring at me blankly.

"Jasper, put your coat on! And zip up! It's cold out!" I reminded him. He needed to go, but I didn't want him getting sick. But there wasn't time for me to do_ everything_ for him. We were losing precious seconds, and even at vampire speed, I wasn't sure it would be enough.

Still, Jasper didn't move, so I dashed back over to him and zipped him up and wrapped his scarf around him, praying I'd have enough time to get him out the door before—

"Dude!" Emmett bellowed, pounding on my door. "Open up."

Damn. I looked back and forth between the vibrating door and Jasper, who looked incredibly confused as he stood by my desk dressed in his winter coat and scarf and his shoes on the wrong feet. Ooops.

I walked over to Jasper and took off his coat and scarf and motioned that he could sit down again, praying Emmett wouldn't bust down the door before I could fix Jasper's sneakers and get over to unlock the door.

I sighed. This could be bad, I thought as I walked over to the door, which now seemed a very thin barrier indeed between Jasper and my brother who was spewing expletives out in the hallway.

I turned to Jasper, who was still gaping at me. "Jasper," I sighed. "Meet Emmett," I finished and threw open the door.

Emmett barreled in. "Yo, Jasper. What's up."

I watched as my brother glanced around. Other than one of Jasper's shoelaces, which I'd accidentally torn in my haste, everything looked normal to me. Apparently it looked okay to Emmett as well. "I didn't interrupt any man-loving, did I?" Emmett asked, narrowing his eyes.

I rolled my eyes. "We were studying."

"Sure you were. Studying each other's tonsils, I'll bet." he replied.

"Emmett," I growled.

"Oh, can it, Eddie. I brought you boys a little gift," he said, handing me the large box he carried.

I shook it, but couldn't determine what exactly was in side, although the box absolutely reeked of rubber.

Shit.

Rubber.

I suddenly knew _exactly _what was in that box.

I tried to force the box into Emmett's hand. "Uh, that's okay, Emmett, we're all set though."

"You are?" he asked in shock. "Did you figure out some other way to keep Jasper from being burnt alive by your man bits?"

I closed my eyes, unable to look at Jasper. "No, Emmett, we don't need them. Take them back."

"Dude, what am I gonna do with them? They're too small for me. You'll use 'em eventually. Best to buy condoms in bulk at the rate we vampires can go through 'em. No recovery time needed means more lovin'," he said, then looked at Jasper. "Am I right, or am I right?" he asked Jasper, winking at him.

I looked at Emmett in horror.

He looked back, confused. "What's wrong, Eddie?"

I sighed. "Nothing. Just... nothing. Never mind. Thank you for the thousands of condoms. I'll call you later, okay?" I pushed him toward the door.

"In a hurry to get rid of me?" he asked waggling his eyebrows.

"Yes. I'm in a hurry to get you out of here so I can use at least a hundred of those condoms before Jasper has class tomorrow. Now go, will you?" I replied.

"Okay! Okay! I'm going, I'm going! Keep your pants on until I'm a mile away, okay? I don't wanna hear that shit," he mumbled and allowed me to push him out the door.

Why, why did he have to be so loud? I said a quick prayer that none of my neighbors were listening.

"Okay, bye, Emmett. Thanks." I said, shutting the door.

"No problem. Enjoy! Bye, Jasper, nice to meet you!" Emmett called back through the closed door.

"Nice to meet you too," Jasper called back politely.

When I was sure Emmett had left the building, I slowly turned back to Jasper, cringing.

He was looking at me with his eyebrow raised.

"Huh," he said. "Interesting."

"Indeed," I replied. Fucking Emmett.

* * *

_A/N: Have I thanked you lately for your wonderful reviews recently? Thank you, thank you, thank you, and then multiply that times 3.4 quadrillion. And because I know full well why you really read my final A/Ns, I thought I'd fill you in on what Emmett and Rosalie were up to before Emmett visited Edward. Enjoy. ;)_

_Emmett and Rosalie were engaged in a heavy makeout session in the bedroom of their off-campus apartment near Oregon State University when, much to Emmett's absolute delight, Rosalie decided to rip off their clothing and treat Emmett to a little oral loving._

_Emmett sank back on their bed in complete bliss, though he managed to keep a hand on Rosalie's breast, one of Emmett's favorite parts of Rosalie—the other being her mind, of course—while she knelt beside him on the bed and took him in her mouth._

_Emmett paid little attention to the mechanics of what Rosalie was doing, simply enjoying her ministrations on his member. He did note that at one point she released him with a pop, only to sit up and tease him as she licked and sucked on her own finger. However, Emmett neglected to pay much attention to what she did with that finger afterward, because quite frankly, she put his dick back in her mouth, so he had better things on his mind._

_Which is why Emmett was entirely surprised when Rosalie pushed her slick finger into his asshole a short time later._

"_What the fuck!" he yelped as he shot off the bed and ran to the far side of the room with his hands behind him shielding his ass from Rosalie lest she attempt to do that again. _

_Truth be told, Rosalie had no real desire to repeat the action, but thought Emmett would enjoy it based on certain evidence she'd uncovered earlier that week._

"_What?" Rosalie tried to look innocent._

"_What in the fucking hell made you do that?" he gaped at her._

"_Oh come on. You know you wanted it," she said pouting a bit._

"_What the hell are you talking about?" Emmett demanded._

"_Emmett, it's okay. I saw your browsing history. But it's fine. Really. We'll figure it out. I can… do that again. Or maybe a toy?" she asked, trying to see what he might want from her besides her breasts—and mind, of course._

"_My browsing history? What in fuck's sake are you talking about?" Emmett was puzzled as he stood with his ass still pressed against the wall furthest from Rosalie._

_And then he remembered._

"_Best condoms for gay sex"  
_"_Male anal pleasure"  
_"_Gay sex tips"  
__And, simply because he was a bit curious and the link looked interesting, "Finding your prostate for dummies"_

_He sank to the floor. "Oh. Oh no. Rosalie. No. No no. No. Absolutely, no." he said. "I Googled those things for someone else." _

"_Right. You have a 'friend' who is curious," she said, complete with air quotes._

_Emmett sighed. "Fine, Rosalie, fine. You want to know? I was doing research for Edward. Your brother. When I go to visit him later, I'm taking him supplies so he can successfully fuck with his boyfriend. Happy?"_

_Rosalie narrowed her eyes at him, but eventually decided he was being (mostly) honest with her. She even had the wherewithal to look a tad chagrined._

"_Look, it's fine, Rose. Just... do me a favor and ask first before you do something like that next time, okay?" he shook his head, trying to forget the fact that her action had actually been a bit pleasurable, which may or may not have added to his freak out._

"_Fine," she agreed, before patting the bed next to her. "Come back to bed?"_

"_Yeah, no, that's okay. I think I'm gonna go for a run or something," Emmett replied, still a bit weirded out, as he got up from the floor to look for his pants._

"_Okay," she agreed lightly, while slipping a shirt over her own head._

_Emmett was half out the door when Rosalie called after him. "Oh, but Emmett? I forgot to ask. Did you ever end up finding your prostate? Cause if not, I did."_

_He slammed the door behind him, but it did little to drown out Rosalie's explosion of laughter that followed him down the stairs and out of their building._


	19. Chapter 19: Pulse points

**Said and done**

**Chapter 19: Pulse points**

_A/N: Okay, you all seriously need to check out the amazing banner that Vampireisthenewblack made for Said and Done. It is just... perfect. I can't even explain exactly how perfect it is. So you better go take a look. It's on my profile page, or go to: http:/i880(dot)photobucket(dot)com/albums/ac6/icmezzo/said_and_donebanner(dot)jpg _

_A few of you lovely folks on Twitter also added to a certain scene in this chapter. I wonder if you'll recognize your contributions? (PS Feel free to find me on Twitter! There's a link on my profile page or just search for ICMezzo.)_

_Many thanks to Bookjunkie1975 for pre-reading this chapter and, as always, TwilightMundi for betaing! Much love to you! muah!_

_And speaking of thanks, lots of love to all of you who read and voted for "Worth the Climb" in the SlashBackslash 2.0 contest. I'm seriously honored that it made it to the next round of voting. So if you haven't already, head on over to www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2110516/Slash_Backslash to read all of the really amazing stories and vote for your favorites. The final round of voting ends Aug 29. _

_In addition, if you're interested in reading something a bit different, I posted a one-shot, "Duette" for the Love for the Unloved contest. You can get to it via my profile if you want to give it a try._

_The song for this chapter is "Inside of You" by The Maine. It is available at: www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=N1RltuCpYoE&feature=av2n or just click the link in my profile._

_Stephenie Meyer owns everything you recognize. Rated M for mature themes and slash. _

_And finally, because I can't say it enough, thank you, dear reader, for your amazing support for this story. Now...go read, laugh, and love. ;)_

* * *

"I'm...just...saying...you...taste...really...really... good," I said between kisses, which I placed precisely over Jasper's various upper body pulse points.

He chuckled and I felt his stomach muscles clench beneath me as I began moving my tongue slowly up the side of his body.

"You taste good too, you know," he said, trying not to laugh. He swore he wasn't ticklish, but I read him well enough to tell that he was definitely lying in that regard.

I just rolled my eyes at his words and proceeded to run my lips across his bare chest, giving him the freedom to squirm beneath me, as I hovered over him on his bed.

Our shirts had long since been discarded and I decided it was time for Jasper's jeans to follow. I started to unbutton them but Jasper surprised me by putting his hands on mine as though to stop me.

I looked at him, puzzled. Normally he was all about removing our pants.

"Can I do it?" he asked.

"Uh, sure?" I replied, confused. I liked undressing Jasper, but if he wanted to do it, of course he could. I sat back on my heels so he could get up off the bed.

I watched, trying to be tolerant as he undid his zipper. God, humans were so slow sometimes. I growled, impatient.

"Well, I'd let you do it, but you always end up ripping my pants and I'm starting to run out," he explained.

I thought for a second, recalling the various times I'd disrobed him. I suppose he was right. There was that one time when I ripped the zipper entirely off his favorite jeans. Another time the right leg of his khakis just seemed to separate from the left one—I really had very little to do with it. And that other pair of jeans now had that huge hole in the crotch the size of my right hand. And there were those gym shorts that I really loved too. It was really pretty sad that they didn't survive the encounter I now fondly thought of as The Great Dry-hump of 2010.

I frowned. "Sorry, Jasper."

"Oh, it's fine. I just like this pair," he shrugged stepping out of his jeans. I nodded.

"What about your... um... underwear?" I asked, trying to sound casual when he didn't remove them himself. I mean, mine had to stay on of course for safety reasons, but Jasper's, his were just decorative.

He looked down. "You can remove those," he said, blushing a bit and climbing back up on his bed and lying back down. "They aren't my favorite so it doesn't matter if they don't survive intact."

I growled again and I didn't even try to hold back. Within a second his underwear was shredded into tiny confetti-like pieces and I tossed a handful into the air to rain down over us.

He looked at me like I was crazy, but I just shrugged. It seemed appropriate to celebrate Jasper's underwear a little.

But when I watched the pieces land on Jasper, covering a good 2.3% of his body, I realized how foolish I'd been. I needed to see _all_ of him. So I took a deep breath and blew it out across his skin, causing the cloth bits to go flying, and Jasper's body to tremble delightfully.

I moaned, watching his body's response.

He grinned and pulled me down to him, while craning his neck up. I swallowed and we met in a hungry kiss.

I had recognized recently that while I was always thirsty, it was actually a sort of hunger that I felt for Jasper. I was glad that I was becoming a connoisseur of my own desires, that I could separate the want I felt for Jasper and my want for a fresh drink of mountain lion. The call of his blood differed from the call of his person. I was glad I could now separate the two.

I ran my hands down over Jasper's chest until I reached his hips. I parted from his lips allowing him to breathe a bit while I surveyed the terrain of his body.

I looked back at Jasper's eyes and he nodded shyly, giving his permission for me to touch him where he wanted it most. As much as he told me I didn't need his explicit permission every time I wanted to do so, his safety was at stake and I needed it from him.

Once granted, however, I was eager to ghost my hand over him, testing my control. Once I judged that I could handle more, I carefully wrapped my hand around his length.

And then it was his turn to groan. I looked up at his face and delighted at the want in his eyes.

I moved my hand slightly around him and he moaned again. I swallowed hard at the sound.

I watched as I began to stroke him, wondering at the beauty that was his body in my hand. I wanted to get closer still though; holding him in my hand was more than I ever dreamed yet it also seemed to be insufficient. I wondered if maybe...

I licked my lips and looked up at him. "Um, Jasper? Can I... um... taste you... you know... there?" I asked hesitantly, suddenly unwilling to meet his eyes after my bold request. "I mean, you can say no, of course. In fact, you probably should—"

"Edward, stop," he said, laughing. "Trust me when I say that that would be fantastic. You promise to swallow, right?"

I looked up at him, shocked. And I'd thought_ I'd _been forward!

I thought about it for a moment. I wasn't sure that it was actually safe for me to swallow. What if the taste of his release made me lose control in an already precarious having-Jasper's-penis-in-my-mouth-type situation? But if this was a requisite of his, I'd have to find a way.

I was trying to envision a way to make this work for both of us when I noticed Jasper's eyes widen. "I was joking. I mean, of course you're going to swallow, right?" he asked. "No offense, but I don't really want your venom anywhere near my—"

Oh. _Oh!_ Understanding dawned on me. He wanted me to swallow _beforehand, _not when he... But...what if I did want to swallow then? I swallowed at the thought. Twice.

"Edward?" Jasper asked in a small voice.

"Of course I'll swallow," I reassured him, placing light kisses on his chest. "I was just a little confused. I didn't mean to worry you."

"Confused?" he asked.

I coughed. "Well, it wasn't exactly clear what you were asking me to swallow."

I watched as realized what I was saying. He chuckled. "Ahh. You don't have to do that."

I picked at the bedspread, suddenly quite nervous. "What if..."

"That," he said slowly, clearing his throat, "That is up to you. Just keep your venom and teeth away, and trust me, I'll thoroughly enjoy anything else you want to try, okay?"

I nodded, and kissed my way up to his lips, desperate for the connection. Soon, I was stroking him lightly while our mouths moved over each other.

"Umm, are you stalling?" Jasper asked a minute later as I was licking his neck.

"Maybe..." I admitted to his shoulder.

"Edwaaaard," he whined.

"Okay, okay, don't get your panties in a bunch," I told him, sliding down on his bed.

"Now that's hot," he rolled his eyes. "Thanks for that image."

"Oh, right. I never really thought about it before. Rosalie always says it and I guess I picked it up from her," I explained.

"And now I'm thinking about your sister's underwear. Even better. Hey! Wait a second! Are you stalling again?" he demanded.

I sighed. "You're so impatient."

"Will you just suck on my cock already?" he huffed.

I gulped and nodded, and moved down to his hips, close enough to feel the incredible heat of his body on my skin, when something very important occurred to me. What if I was too cold for him? What if the temperature of my mouth was terribly uncomfortable? Shit. Why hadn't I thought of that before? I might well be the equivalent of an oral sex cold shower. I racked my brain for a solution.

And then I realized the answer was right in front of me. Before Jasper had time to ask what I was doing, I sat up, grabbed his bedside table lamp and unscrewed the lampshade. I ran my hand over the now-exposed light bulb. It was a little dusty, but it would have to do. I stuck my tongue out and pressed as much of my mouth as possible against the burning hot bulb, praying I would absorb enough of it's heat to make things more pleasant for Jasper.

Jasper, for his part, was now sitting up on the bed with his mouth hanging open.

I shrugged. "I donth wan tho beh colth," I explained around the light bulb. I don't want to be cold for you, Jasper.

"You know what, I'm just going to go take a shower, because you're obviously not actually interested in—" he started to say while moving to get off the bed.

"No. I'm sorry. I really want to taste you now. Please?" I begged, putting the lamp back on the table.

"Do you promise?" he asked.

I nodded eagerly.

"Fine," he growled, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Get over here."

I quickly knelt on the ground in front of him and took him in my hand and swallowed multiple times just to be sure my mouth was as poison-free as possible.

I stuck my tongue out and then very, very carefully touched the tip of my tongue to Jasper's penis.

Oh, sweet mother of all grizzlies. I should have known he would taste like perfection. I swallowed again, and drew my tongue up along his entire length.

"Fuck," he breathed.

I grinned and did it again.

"It's just... I don't even... please..." he was mumbling.

Once I'd licked him a few more times, I decided that I would try to take him in my mouth. After all, things were going pretty smoothly and Jasper seemed to be enjoying himself. I slipped my mouth around his head and sucked a little bit.

Immediately Jasper's hands were in my hair, pushing me into him. Interesting.

I tried a second time, and took a bit more of him in my mouth this time.

He whimpered. I looked up and saw him watching me with hooded eyes. Excellent. We were in agreement then. This was pretty fucking fantastic.

I moved my mouth up and down a few times before pulling off him to swallow a few times. I grimaced. It was way too easy to forget I was a vampire with Jasper's penis in my mouth.

I alternated with the licking and the sucking and used my hand when I wasn't doing either of those and it wasn't long before Jasper was thanking God for vampires, and more specifically, for my tongue.

He felt the need to warn me when he was going to come, but of course that was highly unnecessary what with the increase in his heart rate, blood pressure and respiration.

And I did swallow. It turns out I was pretty good at it, according to Jasper. He said that lots of times it didn't always go well during someone's first try.

I guessed it was because I'd had so much practice.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

I checked my e-mail later that day and was pleased to see the e-mail I'd sent the day before was circulating around between my family members. It seemed there was some consensus regarding many of the things I should do for our first Valentine's Day together. Dinner, a card—but only one—they agreed, and a gift was appropriate. As to what the gift should be, opinions differed.

Esme thought I should write him a song. But that was her suggestion for everything. I composed one for her each and every holiday. I was certain there wasn't another on earth who had as many Labor Day concertos composed in his or her honor.

Carlisle suggested something related to what Jasper studied, such as giving him a 2,500-year-old Phoenician oil lamp. Apparently the Volturi had a few laying around that Carlisle was certain they wouldn't mind parting with.

Alice took the more traditional route, suggesting that a nice dinner was enough. But by traditional, she meant traditional for a vampire. She thought it would be best if I was the one who fed for a change. I think she was tired of me having all the attention and wanted more of it for herself. And to her the best way to eliminate all of the drama in my life was a little snack for me and a little change for Jasper.

Rosalie was not a lot of help either. I was pretty sure I was on her hit list for all of the time Emmett was spending lately researching gay sex on the Internet instead of Googling her.

And Emmett, he was certain all Jasper wanted were several large deposits made in his... well, not in his honor, let's just say that.

It was fairly safe to say that in terms of choosing a gift, I was on my own.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"Jasper, may I take you out to dinner on Friday?" I asked as we walked along the water one afternoon.

"Why?" he asked. "Edward, it's okay that we don't do that kind of thing. You don't eat, it's silly."

"Well, I want to. It is Valentine's Day and just because I'm a vampire doesn't mean you shouldn't be treated to a wonderful meal." I replied.

"Okay, I don't know how to say this nicely, but, honestly, I don't really like being in restaurants and being the only one eating. I feel stupid. I know you like to watch me eat, but I just feel dumb. The dining hall is fine because half of the people are studying and not eating anyway, and it's the same with coffee shops and that kind of thing. But to go to a really formal restaurant seems uncomfortable. I know that is stupid, but... I just can think of other things I'd rather do with you than eating," he explained.

"Oh, that's easy enough. I'll eat too, if you prefer. It won't be a problem," I said confidently. Sure, I'd have to do a little regurgitating later, but it would be well worth it.

"You can't eat," he scoffed.

"I most certainly can!" I replied.

"Fine," he said. "Eat this." He handed me the half-eaten apple he was munching on.

"Nope," I told him. "Not until Friday."

"Fine," he agreed, his eyes sparkling. "Friday."

**XXXXXXXXXX**

By Friday morning, I was mostly ready for my date with Jasper. My gift and card for him had arrived via overnight shipping the day before. I'd also placed reservations at six different restaurants, figuring I would let Jasper choose our destination. Frankly, I wasn't about to eat human food every day, even for him, so I wanted him to thoroughly enjoy himself while we were out. And thanks to Alice who sat with me on Skype for several hours while I tried on clothes, I was fairly certain I had reasonable clothing selected for each of our potential destinations. I hadn't been sure that having all of the different options was necessary, but when Alice reminded me that the inside of the Thai place was largely a dark shade of sepia and I had planned on wearing charcoal pants, I saw her point.

What I was not ready for, however, was Emmett's visit. He'd be stopping by in the next 15 minutes or so. At least this time he'd texted to ask before just coming by, and I made sure the timing coincided with one of Jasper's three-hour seminars.

I shook my head. My brother's last visit had gotten me in a good deal of trouble. Jasper was further convinced that condoms were the answer to our prayers thanks to Emmett's substantial latex donation. And that was just crazy. I could put a hole in one of those things just by looking at it funny.

I heard Emmett approach well before he reached my door, of course. Who else would be humming the theme song to Inspector Gadget?

"Hey Emmett," I greeted him when he entered.

"Hey," he replied but looked confused... and something else. Perhaps a little queasy? That was strange.

"Well, where's Jasper?" he asked.

"Class," I replied. _Thank god._

"Fine. I'll just wait," he said, shedding his coat and plopping himself down and turning on my television.

"Wait for what?" I asked, narrowing my eyes, flipping the television back off.

"For Jasper, who else? You think I'm going to teach you twice? Once will be bad enough," he replied calmly, but I swear he once again looked a little nauseous.

I pinched my nose, horribly afraid of the answer to my next question. "Teach us what exactly, Emmett?"

"How to do the deed. Bump uglies. What else?" he said, but this time his discomfort was plainly written on his features.

I decided at that moment that it was time to teach Emmett an anal lesson of his own, namely, how to butt out.

"You were going to teach Jasper and I how to ride the bologna pony? Wow, Emmett. That's great." I said innocently. "I really thought going up the down escalator would be too dangerous for us, but if you're here to show us..."

"Uh, yeah," he replied, frowning. "That's what I'm here for." He forced a chuckle.

"The ol' in out, huh? How exactly were you going to teach us? Will there be illustrations? Demonstrations, perhaps?" I asked wide-eyed. "I didn't think to ask you about this kind of thing. Who knew you were such an expert on putting meat in someone's seat."

"Well, I uh, if you...need...I guess..." he gulped.

"Great! I'm sure you have great tips on the ol' pickle tickle." I watched as Emmett started looking greener than a vampire had a right to. "Oh, and you'll definitely have to show us the best positions for fertilizing asphalt? I mean, I wasn't sure that was possible because of the venom, but if you think you can help..." I paused, and decided to push him even further. "I don't know, I hope you don't need to demonstrate anything yourself. I'd hate to put you through that, but then, you do seem to know so much about gay sex... Oh, and while we're at it, what do you know about rimming? And maybe you have some ideas about what Jasper might like in terms of his balls?"

"I, uh, yeah. I suppose... I know something," he shifted uncomfortably. "I guess I could..." he trailed off, getting up from my chair and heading over to the window, almost as though he was looking for an escape. I decided to go for the knockout punch.

I crept over to him and spoke softly in his hear. "I'm so glad you want to teach us the fine art of how to insert a hard, pulsing penis into the eager asshole of another hot gay man," I breathed.

"You know what? Maybe I should just go. Jasper isn't even here, so maybe another time?" he suggested, grabbing his coat and walking quickly to my door.

"He'll be back soon... why don't you wait? I'm sure Jasper will be excited to learn about doing the backdoor dance," I teased, moving to block the exit out to the hallway.

"I... uh... no... I can't... I mean... uh... I gotta go," his voice rising in panic.

Checkmate.

"Well, that's too bad. Maybe next time you can teach us all about marinating the chicken. And I could certainly use some tips on flanking the basement castanets," I replied. I was just making stuff up at this point.

"Fuck, Edward. I can't. I thought I could, but I can't. I gotta go touch Rosalie's breasts or something. I'm sorry, but you guys are on your own," he cried, shoving me aside and darting out the door.

And that was exactly what I wanted to hear.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

A few hours later I picked up Jasper in my car and drove us to the destination of his choosing, Il Bistro in Pike's Place Market.

I know that Jasper thought I wasn't paying nearly enough attention to the road during our drive, but I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. I was unaccustomed to his more formal dress, and there was something about seeing him in a tie that just made me want to undress him immediately.

Once at the restaurant, we were seated quickly and Jasper seemed happy with the relatively private table we'd been given.

"So how about if I order for both of us?" Jasper suggested after we'd received our menus and gotten settled.

"Sure," I grinned. "You'd know better than I would."

"You're seriously going to eat?" he asked again, giving me a skeptical look.

"I told you I would," I reminded him.

He hummed his approval and began perusing the menu. I looked at it as well, wondering what he would choose for me.

When the waiter reappeared, I listened in amazement as Jasper informed him of our selections. Even though the items he chose sounded anything but appetizing, the sound of the Italian rolling off his tongue was unexpectedly seductive.

For himself, he'd chosen salmon—because he fucking loved it, he told me afterward—and for me, he'd selected the Cioppino, hoping I would feel at home with the tomato broth. I didn't tell him that the tomato sauce was as bloodlike as the Cocoa Krispies he'd had for breakfast; it was the thought that counted.

True to my word, I choked down enough of my dish to be plausible while Jasper inhaled his and finished most of mine as well. He never seemed to quite get over watching me eat, however, which made me smile. When I read a book in his pitch black room at night while he slept, or moved at vampire speed while we puttered around his rooms, he didn't blink an eye. But me swallowing a bit of sea life? He couldn't get over it.

Despite the absolutely disgusting food, the meal really was pleasurable. I just focused on how Jasper looked with the candlelight dancing across his face and the color of his eyes and cheeks, accented by the blue-gray and maroon tie he wore, and of course, the look of his lips when he used his tongue to track down an errant droplet of his red wine.

Toward the end of the meal when I could tell that there was no one in the restaurant's men's room, I went to excuse myself for a moment to take care of the uncomfortable regurgitation that had to follow the equally-unfortunate act of consuming the food in the first place.

Jasper looked confused when I started to get up, which I suppose was to be expected because I didn't exactly explain this part of the process. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I smiled. He didn't need to know the details.

"Do you... uh, do you need to take the menu with you?" he asked after a second.

It was my turn to be puzzled. "A menu?"

"Well, I know you like watching me eat. Maybe... uh... you know... you need reading material?"

_Reading material. Reading material. Reading material._ I searched my brain for some context to this suggestion. And then I remembered. The diner.

_"I, uh, bathroom," I had told him, needing a moment to calm myself down and um, figure out a way to calm myself down. I stood up quickly and moved to exit the booth. But before I could dash off, I recognized that Jasper was watching me with a strange look in his eyes. And then I realized exactly where Jasper's gaze focused. Shit. I grabbed a menu off the table and tried to casually hold it in front of my groin._

_"Reading material," I muttered, before dashing off across the diner to the men's room._

The diner. The pie. His lips. My raging erection. I rolled my eyes. Apparently there was only one reason Jasper could think of that I'd need to go to the bathroom. I'd have to explain everything to him later but for now I darted off to the men's room to take care of business.

When I came back, I noticed that our place settings had been cleared and where my plate had been, a card now sat.

I grinned and fished my own card for Jasper out of my coat pocket and handed it to him. "Happy Valentine's Day," I said, excitedly.

He grinned. "You too," he said, before urging me to go first.

I quickly tore into the card hoping to determine exactly how Jasper felt about me by the message it contained. I was surprised, however, by the image on the front of the card. It was of two peanuts holding hands. I stared at it trying to decipher the meaning for a moment before giving up and opening it up.

"I'm nuts about you. Happy Valentine's Day! -Jasper" it read.

I looked at Jasper who was grinning from ear to ear. He was nuts about me, huh? I could deal with that, I thought. Especially because I saw what fell out of the card when I opened it—a key.

I picked it up and recognized the cut pattern of it immediately.

"It's a key to my place," he said.

I nodded. "I know. Thank you." It was wonderful. This was much better than breaking into the Res Life office to steal a key; it meant so much more this way.

"Plus, there are two more things I have for you, but I can't give them to you here," he explained. "For one thing, I need my guitar for one of them."

"Are you finally going to play for me?" I asked.

"Yes," he blushed. "I wrote something for you."

I suddenly understood exactly why Esme loved her concertos so much. I couldn't believe he'd written a song just for me. This was definitely the best Valentine's Day ever. I couldn't wait to hear it.

"Well, let's go then!" I urged him, throwing a bill that easily covered our dinner on the table and grabbing his hand to pull him up and get him home as quickly as possible so I could hear my song.

But Jasper yanked his arm back. "No way! I wanna open my card first," he laughed. "Plus, don't you want to know what the other thing is?"

I sat back down and tried not to sulk. "Fine. Tell me."

"Well, it's kind of silly and in my opinion, totally gross, but... well, when I was in class the other day I got a paper cut and..." he started.

I swallowed hard.

"And well... it bled a tiny bit and I wiped it on my t-shirt without thinking. And... I haven't washed the shirt yet because I thought that maybe you would want...you know what, never mind. That was the stupidest gift ever. And totally disgusting. I'm sorry. I'll get you something else," he finished.

I whimpered; he was giving me his blood. I was sure in that instant that I had the absolute best human boyfriend ever. I had no idea how I got so lucky to find someone so beautiful and perfect and understanding.

"There is nothing on this earth that is more precious to me than your blood. That is the most beautiful gift I could imagine ever receiving," I told him before reaching across the table to kiss him lightly. "Thank you."

"Really?" he asked doubtfully.

"I promise," I told him. "Now it is your turn. I couldn't bring most of your gifts with me, but can I tell you what I got you?"

He laughed at my excitement. "Sure."

"Okay, well, first, I enrolled you in a beer of the month club. It is supposed to be good? And then, next, I'm giving you my sweater. You know the one that you borrowed when you were at my house in January and you never gave it back and now you wear it all the time? Well, that's yours now to keep. And then I also had several blueberry bushes and a pine tree planted in your honor," I told him proudly. "There's a registry. You can name them if you want?"

"Wow, that's awesome. Those are all fantastic. But wait... why a pine tree?" he asked.

"Oh, because of that one I broke when I... you know what, never mind. You can forget about that one," I forced an awkward chuckle. "Now open your card," I suggested, eager to change the subject.

I watched as he slipped it out of the envelope. He grinned at the photo of a few beer steins on the front. But when he opened it, his face fell a little. "It's blank?" he asked.

I hated the look of disappointment in his eyes, so I stared at the tabletop while attempting an explanation. "It's just that none of the cards had the right words in them so I had to pick a blank one because I just couldn't give you a lacy pink anatomically-incorrect heart card or one with teddy bears—also anatomically incorrect by the way—saying silly preprinted messages because you're more important to me than that, and I suppose I should have written you a poem or even a dirty limerick or something on the inside but I couldn't think of anything that rhymes with 'you're the most important person in the world to me' and then I thought maybe a haiku would work but there are too many syllables in 'I am 93.8% certain that I am falling in love with you but I'm nervous to tell you in case it scares you off because I've heard humans are often afraid of commitment' and you have enough reasons to run away screaming as it is, so I don't want to add to another to that list, so that's why I gave you a blank card, but I'm sorry it disappointed you; I guess I should have looked harder for a better one."

I stopped talking because I noticed Jasper had stopped breathing. I looked up in alarm.

"Me too," he breathed.

"No, really, I liked your card. It was perfect. It was mine that was terrible, I'm sorry," I apologized again.

"No, Edward, I mean... I mean, I'm 93% sure I'm falling in love with you too," he said, staring at his hands.

"Really?" I asked, suddenly desperate for his confirmation.

He smiled and leaned over to kiss me. "I'm more than 99.2% sure," he replied.

I decided I liked our odds.

* * *

_A/N: I know you guys love the closing author's notes, but quite frankly, the Cullens weren't exactly available this week. Esme and Carlisle were spending their Valentine's Day out on Esme's Island and had their cell phones turned off. Alice was up in Alaska with the Denali coven, where she and the other girls engaged in serious mani-pedis followed by clubbing in Anchorage. Rosalie's breasts were enjoying the holiday immensely judging by the amount of attention Emmett paid them following his visit with Edward. And Emmett, well, he's doing alright despite the fact that he occasionally gets a far-off look in his eyes and murmurs things like "eager backdoor" or "pulsing bologna insertion."_


	20. Chapter 20: You hear beat, I hear Bach

**Said and done**

**Chapter 20: You hear my beat, I hear your Bach**

_A/N: As I was writing this chapter it occurred to me that it was taking place exactly 2 months to the day after Jasper and Edward submit their term paper in chapter one. I'm not sure about you, but it makes me slightly happy to see how far Edward has come during that time...especially considering that he spent the previous 90 years being completely asexual. I'm thinking he should write a book... like "From Sexless to Sucking: Blow—but don't drink—your human in 60 days or less" or something like that. (PS On second thought, the book would be a certain best-seller and then the Volturi would catch wind of it, and that could get everyone in trouble, so I guess he better not write it after all. Which is too bad, because an excerpt might have made for a funny A/N.)_

_Right. Anyway. So...thank you to all of you wonderful readers who nominated Said and Done for the Slash Awards! Said and Done is up for Best Comedy, Best Vampire, and Best Geekward/Geeksper. Now I'm pretty sure Edward would simply love your votes, but there are so many fantastic stories that were nominated, so be sure to go read them all at http:/ /theslashawards(dot)blogspot(dot)com and vote for your favorites._

_And thanks again for your support for Worth the Climb. I'm absolutely thrilled that it got an honorable mention in Slash Backslash 2.0._

_If you're looking for something new to read, check out the In the Closet contest entries (www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2424392/intheclosetcontest).There are some really good stories posted. I may have entered a story myself. :)_

_I can't think of enough ways to express my thanks to TwilightMundi for her help in turning this and every chapter into proper English. I love her._

_The song for this chapter is "If I Fell" by the Beatles, but I'm going to link you to the cover by from Across the Universe sung by Evan Rachel Wood because I simply love the slower, haunting cover. (Note: I would rarely recommend a cover, but this is such a different style and I think it fits the mood a bit better.) It is available at: www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=P5zcHGv2ZhE or just click the link in my profile._

_Stephenie Meyer owns everything you recognize. Rated M for mature themes and slash. _

* * *

As slowly as I was able but still faster than appropriate, I stood up, grabbed Jasper's hand and pulled him from the restaurant. I needed to kiss him in ways unacceptable for public viewing. As soon as we'd exited Il Bistro, I picked Jasper up in my arms and raced toward my Volvo.

Jasper, to my surprise, didn't seem to mind. Instead of getting angry that I'd picked him up, he was laughing. I suppose the wine he'd consumed at dinner had a good deal to do with this.

When we got to the car, I put him down, but instead of getting into his seat, he leaned against the car and yanked on my tie, pulling me to him. I growled and met his lips, desperate for him. As our mouths pressed together, my hands found the car behind him and I leaned in. Jasper groaned as I pressed him against the passenger side door, kissing him deeply.

I paused to swallow and allow Jasper to breath. I noticed that there were still a good number of people around the busy Seattle streets. I was thankful for the darkness, but it was definitely time to find a more private location.

I peeled Jasper off the side of the car and opened the door for him. I kissed him quickly than shoved him inside. "Home," I said firmly.

"Home," he breathed, a frantic look in his eyes. I was sure mine were dark and wild as well.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Even Jasper was in such a rush to get home that he didn't reprimanding me for weaving through traffic to reach campus more quickly.

Almost nine minutes later we finally, _finally_ reached his building and practically ran up the stairs to his apartment. I was eager to get Jasper undressed immediately. Knowing that Jasper was 99.2% confident he was 93% sure he was falling in love with me had gone to my head... and not the one on top of my neck, I smirked.

Jasper looked at me as I unlocked his front door with my new key. "Why are you smiling?" he asked.

"Because I was being internally funny," I replied.

He just shook his head at me before kissing me quickly on the cheek.

As soon as I'd pulled him inside with me, I started stripping Jasper's clothes off... until my eyes fell on his guitar in the corner. I hesitated, suddenly unsure of whether I wanted to experience my song or Jasper first. I looked back and forth a few times between the instrument and Jasper, who was now wearing only his gray underwear and his blue and maroon striped tie, which during the drive home I'd decided I might never allow him to remove.

Eventually I decided it had to be the song first. I wanted that memory in my head. Then I could replay the sweet music later when we gave in to our physical desires.

By the time I'd come to that conclusion, Jasper had noticed my pause and turned to follow my gaze toward his guitar.

"After," he growled, pulling at my own tie to get my attention back.

"No, now," I whined.

"I won't be able to concentrate if all I'm thinking about is you naked," Jasper explained.

"Well you might as well put that out of your head," I countered. "There's no way I'm getting naked. My underwear stays on. You know that."

"But it's Valentine's Day," he said. "I thought that you'd make an exception to your stupid rule. Besides, given that we said the love word, I thought maybe..."

"Oh my god, Jasper! Did you say you were falling in love with me to get into my pants?" I exclaimed.

"For fuck's sake, no. I just thought tonight would be special or something," he quickly replied.

"It was special already, and we can still have fun, but play for me first." I headed over to pick up the guitar to encourage him.

But much to my surprise, his reply was a firm "Nope."

"Here, Jasper. Play. Please? For me?" I pleaded while trying to make him take the instrument.

"Nope," he said again.

"Jasper, come on..." I begged.

"Nope." He hesitated, thinking. "I'm not playing until you promise you will get naked."

"Deal!" I exclaimed. I'd just undress then redress five seconds later.

Jasper narrowed his eyes. "Wait," he said. "You have to _stay_ completely naked between the hours of 10 p.m. and 2 a.m."

I glanced at the moon. It was 9:52 p.m.

How was I going to keep Jasper from touching me for a full four hours?

I narrowed my eyes back at him. "Will you play it twice?" I asked after a moment. He'd better make it worth it.

"Three times," he promised.

"Fine," I sighed, cursing my poisonous penis.

Jasper grinned and grabbed the guitar from me. "Great! Where do you want me?"

I thought for a second. "The couch," I replied. The acoustics were marginally better in the living room. I briefly debated taking him to the concert hall, but decided the improvement in sound quality was outweighed by my ability to watch him play 73% naked if we stayed in his apartment.

He sat down on one end of the couch facing inwards. But when I went to sit on the other end, he stopped me. "You have to keep up your end of the bargain, Edward. Now take off your clothes."

"But it's only 9:54," I protested. "I still have a few minutes."

"Oh, just get naked, will you? You want me to have to stop in the middle of the song?" he asked.

"No, I guess not," I replied, and started taking off my shirt slowly, trying to protect Jasper as long as possible.

He sighed and rolled he eyes at my choice to move at human speed. But soon enough, I was fully disrobed, and standing somewhat awkwardly next to my heap of clothing. I looked at Jasper, feeling vulnerable and helpless.

"Come here, my sexy vampire man," he commanded and patted the couch.

I took a deep breath and sat down, hoping he'd stay on his end of the furniture.

I watched and tried not to comment as Jasper tuned his guitar, even though the B string was a little flat.

After another minute of marginally successful tuning, Jasper began plucking out some fairly standard chord progressions in an upbeat fashion. And then he opened his mouth and began to sing.

It was the sweetest song I'd ever heard:

_I taste your flesh, you taste my skin.  
__You think you're fail, I think you're win.  
__I smell your pies, you smell my blood,  
__You're so fuckhot, and I'm such a stud._

_You may be cold but you've set my heart afire,  
__You are my one, my forever vampire._

_I watch your ass, you watch my lips,  
__You feel my pulse, I feel your hips.  
__You hear my beat, I hear your Bach,  
__I touch your soul, you touch my cock._

_You may be cold but you've set my heart afire,  
__You are my one, my love, my forever vampire._

_I feel you up, you suck my head.  
__I am alive, you are undead.  
__Despite my moods, despite your cum,  
__I am your future, you are my one._

_You may be cold but you've set my heart afire,  
__You are my one love, my forever, vampire._

_You may be cold but you've set my heart afire,  
__You are my one true love, forever, my vampire._

I stared in awe as Jasper finished the words of the refrain a final time. Never had a composition been more beautiful or music more stunning than the poetry that emerged from the deep pink of Jasper's lips and his out-of-tune guitar.

When the final chord finished reverberating through the room, I dared to speak. "Again," I whispered.

He chuckled. "Really?"

"Yes. Just keep singing," I breathed.

He launched into the song again, and I listened with delight as he sang of us and our love and our genitalia.

When he finished, he set down the guitar. "Did you like it?"

"More than anything," I replied.

"Good," he smiled. "Now, come here?" he asked, patting the space right next to him.

"But I'm naked," I reminded him.

"Exactly," Jasper replied, leaning over to me on the couch.

I had to pull away. "Jasper, no..." I pleaded.

"Edward, please," he begged. "We need this."

"And you know we can't." God I wanted to. Of course I wanted to. It took everything I had to _not _to touch him. It was Valentine's day and he'd just sung me the most romantic song ever. Did he think I was made of stone?

"Fine," he huffed, getting off the couch and wandering toward his bedroom, shedding his remaining clothing along the way. Just as he reached the doorway, however, he turned back with a cheeky grin and flung his underwear at me. "Are you coming?"

"Yes, please," I gulped, and quickly followed him into the bedroom. But when I tried to join him on the bed, he stopped me and pointed at his desk chair. I nodded, and sat down. It was probably best, but it was going to be a long four hours. I frowned, wondering how Jasper could possibly be happy. Sure, I was naked, but now we wouldn't have any physical contact on a night when I wanted it more than ever.

Jasper just gave me a lazy look, propped himself up against the headboard and did something... well, something that was... well, it was just cruel.

He touched himself.

I gulped and stared as the beautiful Jasper reached down and wrapped his perfect fingers around his swelling cock.

"Oh!" he said, obviously feigning surprise.

"Jasper...what...what are you doing?" I gulped and asked slowly.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" he smirked as he began moving his hand slowly up and down over his erection.

He moved his left hand up and over his chest and moaned a little.

"Jasper!" I cried, barely able to remain in my chair. He was killing me.

I was dying. Again.

"Yes, Edward?" he asked, licking his lips and watching me.

I stared at his hand as he stroked himself.

"You can't do that..." I begged, clamping my hands on the armrests. Jasper pleasuring himself was the hottest thing I'd ever seen. I needed him to stop immediately.

He moaned quietly. "Oh, but I can," he said in a low voice. "Besides, I think you like watching me jerk off," he pointed out.

Well of _course_ I _liked _it. I grimaced. I liked it almost enough to forgo my rule and join him on the bed regardless of my nudity. It would take only 1/42 of a second for me to make it from the chair to the bed and then it would be _me_ touching him. I would take him in my hand and feel his heat and stroke him just like he liked. Just the thought of it made me groan.

"What's the matter?" Jasper asked innocently.

I whimpered. "You're not playing fair," I pointed out, trying to keep my head as I continued to watch him.

"What do you mean? Did you... did you want to do it instead?" he asked. I noticed his cheeks were flushed as now well.

I growled. Every ounce of my self-discipline was focused on keeping my body in my chair instead of launching myself onto Jasper.

"It's really too bad you can't," he said, disappointment coloring his voice. "Unless..."

"Unless what?" I gasped.

"Well, maybe if you had a condom on..." he trailed off.

I thought it over. Would it be enough? Was it worth the risk? Surely we could at least get a little closer. But then something occurred to me. The condoms were all back in my apartment. I'd stashed Emmett's box at the bottom of my closet. I explained this to Jasper.

He paused for a split second. "Oh Edward," he smiled. "Come here." And then he reached into his nightstand and pulled out a little foil packet.

Could I do this? Jasper said we needed it. It certainly felt like I needed it.

I took a deep breath and let Jasper's scent wash over me. Okay. I stood up slowly and carefully put one foot in front of the other until I was standing by the bed.

He held out the little packet to me. "We can do this," he said firmly, pressing it into my hand.

I nodded and stepped back to tear it open. I felt my insides clench as I took it and carefully put it on. It was so thin. How could it ever be enough to protect Jasper?

I closed my eyes and tried not to panic.

It was too late to run. We were in too deep.

I opened my eyes. Jasper held my gaze and took my hand. "I trust you," he said.

I leaned in and pressed my lips on his.

"Okay," I said softly after a moment.

I watched as Jasper scooted down until he was lying down. Once settled, he tugged on my hand.

So I ever so carefully climbed onto the bed as well until I was hovering over Jasper. I paused to get my bearings as Jasper reached up to place open-mouthed kisses along my jaw.

As slowly as I could, I gently eased my body down until I was pressing part of my weight against Jasper.

I gasped as I felt the length of his flesh against my own, skin to skin but for the thinnest layer of latex.

"Jasper!" I gasped, overwhelmed.

"Oh thank god," he groaned. "Finally." He began placing dozens of kisses all across my face and neck while I grew accustomed to the new sensations.

I dropped my head to his shoulder and closed my eyes. Jasper. All I could think was his name. _Jasper._

He nibbled at my ear. _Jasper._

He ran his hands down my back and onto my ass. _Jasper._

I felt him arch his hips below me pressing up against me. _Oh, Jasper. Jasper! _

I moaned. "Seriously, why didn't we do this sooner?" I teased him. "You should have told me."

He smacked my ass in response. "Fuck!" he cried, pulling his hand back to examine it. "You're hard!"

I realized it must have stung. I kissed his palm apologetically. "Sorry..."

"I'll live," he said, and shook his hand a bit before placing it back against my lips.

"I bet I can make you forget," I said, trying to sound suggestive.

"What exactly did you have in mind?" he asked eagerly.

I just hummed in response and started to kiss and lick my way from his palm, down to his elbow, up to his shoulder and to the crook of his neck. I sucked gently on his flesh and proceeded down his chest and abdomen, feeling his ticklish flesh twitch and tremble beneath me. He fisted my hair as I dipped further down, teasing his belly button, and out to his hip. I trailed my tongue along the lines of his body as they led me further down and back in to hit the place I knew he craved me most.

If I was teasing him before, I may have tortured him next. I placed the tip of my tongue at the base of his cock and licking him lightly, savoring the flavor. I did it a few more time, just barely brushing against his flesh.

He hissed, making me smile. I licked him again, this time up all the way up to his head, before swirling my tongue around his tip.

"Fuck," he cried, his hands pressing my head down, encouraging me to do it again.

I complied and took him in my hand and stroked him a bit while I teased his head with my tongue. I'd never ever forget the image of Jasper taking himself in his own hand, of course, and I'd certainly treasure it. But this was much better than watching. I wondered if Jasper understood how possessive I'd become of his body.

I felt Jasper's eyes on me as I continued to stroke and lick him. I looked up and sure enough, he was staring at me, with his mouth hanging open and his pink tongue peaking out the side.

I paused to swallow and then held his gaze as I took him in fully in my mouth. He sucked in air as I began to move my mouth over him. "Oh my god," he breathed.

I pulled off him and smiled up at him. "How's your hand now?" I asked.

"What hand?" he laughed. "I've never had a hand in my life!"

"Excellent," I replied, going back to work.

"Fuck!" he cried as I dived back down onto him.

I used all that I'd learned about what Jasper preferred and soon had him panting. I felt his muscles straining below me and realized he was trying to hold his hips extremely still. I thought about this for a moment and decided his restraint was probably unnecessary.

"Um, you can...um... move," I explained. "If you want..."

He peered at me. "That would be safe?" he asked.

"I _think_ so. If I hold very still, I bet you could," I said. It wasn't as though he could hurt me.

"Well then... let's try something," he said. "Roll over onto your back."

I promptly did so. He handed me a few pillows to put under my head and after I was in position he knelt over my chest. It didn't take my 20/5 vision to see where this was going. I opened my mouth and reached up to take Jasper in my mouth, but he leaned back.

"You have to stay still," he said, smiling.

"Fine," I said. "I wont move a muscle." I was pretty good at that, after all. So I laid back down and swallowed before opening my mouth and sticking out my tongue a little.

I rolled my eyes but didn't move otherwise as I saw him trying not to laugh at my face. Didn't he realize I was trying to look all hot for him? Thankfully, he calmed down quickly once I glared up at him.

I watched as he placed one hand on the headboard just beyond above me, and took himself in his hand and guided his cock into my mouth. "Is this okay?" he asked once he was almost completely in my mouth.

I was just fine, but wasn't sure exactly how to convey that. I couldn't exactly talk with my mouth full. Eventually, I just decided on giving him the thumbs up sign, which in turn caused him to shake his head at me and inform me that it was lucky I was hot.

Eventually he began to move himself in my mouth, which I gathered he liked a good deal judging by the way his eyes became dark and frantic. I pressed my tongue up along his length him as he slid against me.

I moved my hands to his hips, needing the connection as opposed to control over his movements.

"Oh god!" he cried as he began to thrust more irregularly.

He placed his other hand on the headboard and leaned forward so he was rocking his hips, and most of his length was moving in and out of my mouth.

I swallowed around him a few times and his panting became regularly punctuated with the word "fuck".

Eventually he warned me that he was going to come and soon stilled. I felt him pulse and tasted him filling my mouth as I continued to swallow around him.

When he pulled out, I stroked him with my hand a few times until he sat back on my chest, exhausted. Eventually, he slid down further along my body so he had room to hunch over and take my lips in his.

It was sweet, but I had a bit of trouble paying attention, as he'd moved back far enough that the very tip of my sheathed cock brushed against his ass. I whimpered into his mouth.

"No showers tonight," he said firmly, clearly feeling it too. "I want to take care of you."

I thought back to the one time I'd felt Jasper's hot hand wrapped around me. I wanted that again. Badly. But we had to be careful about things.

I tried to think about what we could do that would put Jasper at minimal risk. I was so worked up though, that I wasn't thinking clearly. _Everything _seemed like a good idea by that point.

Jasper, however, had recovered and didn't seem to be interested in my opinion on the matter. He clearly had his own ideas because he'd already climbed off me and was sitting at my side.

"I trust you," he said. "Do you trust me?"

"I do," I replied carefully.

"Good. Then let me worry about my own safety for a few minutes and just enjoy this, okay?"

"Just... be careful," I pleaded.

"You know I will," he affirmed, reaching back over to his nightstand, which for the record, I would definitely be looking into the next time he was at class. It appeared to be the location of many of Jasper's mysteries.

He pulled out a small bottle. Ahh. Lubricant. I wondered what Jasper had planned, but I tried to relax and let him take over.

I watched as he squirted some into his hand and then very slowly moved it towards my cock.

"No holes, right?" he asked, confirming the condom was still in good condition.

"None," I confirmed.

"Great!" he said, reaching for me.

No no no no no no no no no no... it's too risky, don't do it! No no no no no no...

Oh.  
Oh!  
Yes!  
Oh my fuck, yes!

"Jasper! Don't you take your hand off my cock ever again!" I exclaimed.

He laughed. "Pretty nice, huh?" he asked rubbing up and down the base. I could feel the pulsing heat of his palm through the thin layer of latex.

And then he began stroking me, spreading the lube over the condom, and gripping me as he slid his hot fist up and down my length.

"Unnnnghh."

There were no words.

He leaned down to place his mouth on mine as he stroked me with his hand. I tasted his lips, and his tongue met mine in a slick caress.

When he pulled away, he sat up and went to work on me with determination in his eyes.

I wanted to tell him he was handling things quite perfectly; nothing was broken yet, and what he was doing felt all kinds of amazing, but then he twisted his wrist a little bit and I couldn't help but gasp. Jasper was clearly extraordinarily talented when it came to hand jobs.

He stroked me a bit more at this new angle and then sort of switched his hand upside down and moved his hand that way, and I was quickly tied up in knots by his ministrations.

When he removed his hand from me I barely held back my whimper. But then I realized he was just shifting a bit on the bed. He soon replaced his hand on me, again stroking over the condom, while he gently cupped my balls in his other hand. That was new. And fucking amazing! I said as much.

Between his hand on my penis and the other gently stroking my balls, the pleasure was quickly becoming overwhelming. I felt the warm burn in my abdomen grow stronger and I had to work hard to keep my hips on the bed while Jasper continued to move his hot hand up and down my cock. And then it was too much and I had to let go.

"Jasper! Get back! I'm going to come!" I cried out, not wanting it to end, but not being able to hold back any longer.

But instead of fleeing across the room, he just held his hand firmly around me as I jerked and came into the condom.

It was indescribable the things that Jasper made me feel.

Within seconds I realized that Jasper still had his hand on me. "Jasper, um, no offense, but, can you please remove your hand from my penis before someone gets hurt?" I asked, looking down at the now cum-filled condom.

He nodded and sat back on the bed.

"Thank you," I said, getting up off the bed. "And, um, _thank you."_

I allowed him to put his hands on my hips while I kissed him one more time before heading to the bathroom. After thoroughly cleaning up, Jasper allowed me to wear my boxers again, so I curled up next to him in bed to talk. And we did, for hours... about what we'd done and where we were going and how we felt about everything in between.

At one point, Jasper brought up anal sex. I had realized it was only a matter of time; Emmett had just planted way too many ideas in his head. Jasper made it clear that he thought we needed to try. And I, of course, explained that as much as I wanted to, the dangers were far too great. Too many things could go wrong. But he was persistent in wanting to talk through the details... including one topic that had plagued me for more than a month.

And he just threw the topic out there, completely casually, as if it were no big deal at all.

"Well,if we were going to try, which way would you prefer?" he asked.

"Honestly, I'm not sure there's much of an option," I replied, studying the bedspread. "I'm sorry to take that away from us, but... I'm not sure it would be possible for you to... top. My body is too strong, too inflexible." There is no way my body would yield to his. He was hard, but I was far harder.

"Let's pretend that weren't an issue. What would you want?" he asked.

"Jasper, that will _always_ be an issue," I pointed out.

"Maybe, maybe not," he disagreed.

I looked at him. What was he saying?

"Look, I'm just asking," he said. "What would you want?"

"I think that maybe if there were no obstacles, such as the fact that I'm as pliant as a slab of marble, I would want to try everything with you," I admitted.

"Good," he said. "Me too."

"Do you um... have a preference?" I asked. I'd analyzed his wardrobe, the way he combed his hair, how he drove stick-shift, and even how he drank his organic 1% milk straight from the carton and still, I hadn't been able to tell.

"I kind of like to switch once in awhile," he said after a moment. "But I guess generally I prefer to bottom actually."

I rolled this over in my brain for a minute before he interrupted my thoughts by running his hand over my stomach.

"By the way, I love your body," he said, winking at me. "There's something to be said for rock-hard abs and a tight ass."

I grabbed a pillow and held it over my head so he wouldn't see my goofy grin. I didn't believe him, but it was nice to hear anyway.

After a few seconds, he grabbed the pillow from me. "I want to try. I think we can do it."

"But—" I started to object, but he clamped his hand over my mouth.

"Let's try," he said again.

I started to shake my head no, but he moved his other hand to my chin to prevent me from doing so.

"Just think about it," he said before removing his hands and kissing me firmly on the mouth.

I nodded. Of course I would think about it. I'd been doing so ever since I first saw him in his gym shorts.

Afterward, while Jasper slept, I grabbed my laptop and drafted a document explicitly describing everything I felt. He had to know about what he was asking, how he was putting himself at risk, what could happen, and contingency plans should we ever actually try it. He had to know. After all, let's say I drooled on his arm a little bit by mistake. Provided I could get it off his flesh quickly enough and get him to the hospital, he might have a third-degree burn, but if we were lucky, he might even survive with his limb intact. But a slip during sex would not be so easily remedied. He had to understand this.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"So, I just need to read it and then what? I need to sign on the bottom line if I agree?" Jasper asked late the next afternoon, eying the document I handed him.

I nodded. Carlisle had reviewed it for thoroughness and checked it for accuracy based on his knowledge of medicine. Though we were generally loathe to have written proof that Jasper knew of the existence of vampires, Carlisle agreed that Jasper should know what he was asking for, and that I should know what to do in the event that anything ever went amiss. His signature would do little to ease my fears for his safety, of course, but it seemed appropriate that everything was thoroughly documented.

"You don't have to sign it, of course," I pointed out hopefully. Couldn't an existence rife with blowjobs be enough for him?

He ignored me and glanced at it again, quickly flipping through the 17 pages. "What if I have any edits?" he asked after a moment.

"We can discuss them, I suppose," I agreed grudgingly.

"Okay. I'll look it over after I finish translating that Ugaritic poetry I have for homework," he said, setting it down on a nearby table.

He walked into his bedroom and returned with his sneakers. "Want to head to the dining hall for dinner with me?"

I nodded, quickly stepped into my own shoes and followed after him. I glanced one more time at the document sitting on his table before shutting the door behind us. I tried not to worry about what his reaction would be as we walked to the dining hall.

* * *

_A/N: A number of you asked for details on the Great Dry-hump of 2010 referenced in the last chapter. I can certainly understand your request as Edward obviously recalls the encounter very fondly. Anyway, the story begins with a certain pair of gym shorts, or rather, lack thereof..._

"Dammit!" Jasper cursed, throwing various pieces of clothing around his room.

Edward looked up. "What do you need?" Jasper was always losing things, but for some reason, preferred to find them on his own as opposed to enlisting Edward's help. Edward secretly thought this very silly, as he would have been able to locate by scent alone just about any item on campus.

But an enthusiastic "Fuck it all!" was Jasper's only response, as he dumped his laundry hamper on the floor and pawed through the odorous contents. Luckily, being a standard male in his early 20s, Jasper was unbothered by the fragrance, while Edward, of course, found it nothing but delightful.

So Edward didn't offer his help again, figuring offering to help a second time would annoy Jasper, and besides, if Jasper was going to turn the bedroom into Edward's idea of heaven by scattering about items saturated with his scent, who was Edward to disagree?

Unfortunately, Jasper wasn't going to be finding the item, his favorite pair of gym shorts, in his apartment any time soon; Edward had 'borrowed' them to keep him company when he went to class, and as a result, they were sitting in Edward's bedroom in his school bag. So Jasper just got more and more frustrated and his face got redder and redder as he searched for his shorts, whereas Edward, seeing Jasper's pink cheeks and sensing his elevated heartbeat and blood pressure in combination with the heady scent of worn undershirts and filthy gym socks, just got more and more turned on.

It was a dangerous combination.

Eventually, Jasper stomped around to his dresser to locate the only other pair of clean shorts he had—a maroon pair that he didn't wear very often because they just didn't fit right, being a hair small on him. Edward thought about trying not to stare as Jasper shed his jeans and put on the gym shorts, but ended up dismissing the idea as a poor one almost immediately.

Jasper turned to Edward after changing and noticed that Edward was still sitting on the bed in his jeans and button-down shirt. "I thought we were going running? Aren't you ready yet?" Jasper huffed at Edward.

Edward, was strangely fascinated by Jasper's anger and more than a little horny. Nonetheless, Edward got up to change. But just as Edward had pulled off his shirt and jeans, he noticed Jasper was bending over in his slightly-too-tight gym shorts to tie his shoes.

The view in combination with the delicious scent of dirty laundry and Jasper's elevated vital signs pushed Edward over the edge.

Edward growled and crouched.

Jasper looked up at the sound. "What the—?"

But before he could finish, Edward had reached Jasper, scooped him up at the waist from behind and leaped onto the bed, landing on his back and pulling Jasper down on top of him. Edward growled again at the feeling of Jasper's heated flesh landing on top of his already excited groin, and arched his hips to grind against his ass.

Jasper yelped, and climbed off Edward. "What the hell?"

Edward was stunned. Jasper always wanted to play on the bed. It was a miracle he made it to class sometimes.

"I thought maybe you wanted to..." Edward trailed off, looking somewhat chagrined.

"Why would you think that? I want to go running. I thought we were going running," Jasper replied.

"We could go running later maybe?" Edward suggested.

"Why?" Jasper asked.

"Because your shorts are too tight and your cheeks are too red and your dirty laundry is all over the place," Edward explained.

Jasper looked at Edward as though he was crazy, and huffed out of the bedroom to find his sweatshirt and finish tying his sneakers in peace. "You know what? I'm in a pissy mood and I just need to blow off some steam. I'm going to go run alone, okay? Feel free to hang out if you want. I'll be back soon."

Edward stared after him in silence, a little stunned at just how quickly everything had unraveled. But if Jasper wanted space, Edward would give it to him. So the vampire took to Jasper's shower to take care of things himself. But he'd only been under the spray of water for a minute and a half when he decided that he was generally uninterested in his hand now that Jasper was an option.

So another two minutes later, Edward was dried, dressed, and out the door to track down Jasper. Forced to start off at human speed, he didn't catch Jasper until he was almost exactly one-mile into his run, which it turns out, was exactly the amount of time Jasper needed to unwind and begin to feel bad for taking his frustration out on his vampire boyfriend.

When Edward emerged from the woods at the side of the road where Jasper ran, Jasper approached him at a quick pace and with an apologetic face. "I'm sorry that I got mad at you," Jasper apologized.

"It's okay. I should have asked first before I picked you up and tried to grind against your ass," Edward admitted.

"That's what you were doing?" Jasper asked, shaking his head. "You can imagine why I was confused," he added, pointedly.

Edward could not, but didn't want to risk upsetting Jasper again, so he changed the subject. "Can I run with you?"

"I have a better idea. Why don't you kiss me and forgive me?" Jasper suggested.

Edward practically tackled Jasper in his effort to kiss him, which made Jasper chuckle. His laughter quickly turned into desire however, as Edward's kiss became increasingly hungry and he pulled Jasper up against him.

Jasper, who had already been slightly out of breath from his run, quickly became even more desperate for oxygen, and had to work hard to peel Edward from his lips. "Can't breathe...," he panted, when he finally managed to get Edward to move from his mouth to his neck.

Edward attempted to apologize to Jasper's lungs by kissing Jasper's chest through his shirt, and Jasper couldn't help but groan a bit when Edward's mouth brushed over his nipples.

The sound made Edward look at Jasper and smile. "Now can I grind against your ass?" he asked Jasper politely.

Jasper playfully swatted his butt. "No! Anyone could drive by at any time! We're in the middle of the road!"

"Oh, I'd know if someone was coming in plenty of time," Edward replied, sniffing. "There's no one around but a rabbit and a three field mice."

Jasper frowned. "We're only a mile from home? Can you just wait? We can head back now... It's too cold out here if we're not running."

"That's too long," Edward whined, taking off into the nearby woods. "It would take you seven minutes to run that!" he called back to Jasper.

Jasper crossed his arms and tried to be patient as he waited for Edward to reemerge from the woods. When he returned to the road, however, Edward looked confident. "Problem solved," he explained. "Come on!"

He grabbed Jasper's hand and tugged away from the road and into the trees.

It was then that Jasper heard the crackling sound. "Is that...?"

"Yes," Edward nodded. "I built you a fire."

Jasper groaned; he was learning that a horny vampire could be very resourceful indeed. Moreover, he was running out of excuses why they shouldn't get off in the woods. So when he reached the edge of the small fire, he was willing to overlook the cool air and icy ground, choosing instead to melt into Edward's arms.

Edward was willing to overlook Jasper's romantic tendencies and allowed him to snuggle against him for a few minutes before involving his eager crotch in the picture. But after three minutes, Edward had enough, and more than a little obviously, thrust his hips in Jasper's direction.

"Alright, alright," Jasper chuckled. "If you want grinding, grinding you shall have."

Jasper released Edward and walked over to a large nearby tree, wiggling his hips in Edward's direction as he did so. Edward trailed after him, swallowing hard. When Jasper got to the tree, he leaned against it, and stuck his ass out and shook it a bit at Edward. "Have at it," he said.

Edward needed no further invitation. He pressed up against Jasper, wrapping his arms under Jasper's shoulders and pressing his forearms up against the tree so Jasper could rest his head on them instead of the rough bark. And then Edward began his much-anticipated grind against Jasper's ass through his slightly-too-tight gym shorts. It didn't take long before Edward was grunting and groaning at the stimulation he rubbed against Jasper.

Eventually Jasper wanted additional attention paid to his own erection, so he ducked out from under Edward's arms and pointed at the ground near the fire. "Down," he told Edward.

Edward lay down immediately, not caring that his back would be covered in mud. After all, that's what showers were for. Or, at least, that was one thing that showers were for.

Jasper quickly laid down on top of him and they grinded against each other in all the right places, panting and clutching and sucking and feeding off each other's hunger while the fire sent delectable waves of heat in their direction. Edward, who had been quite worked up ever since Jasper had opened the laundry hamper nearly an hour prior, was unable to hold back for very long and soon came in his track pants from humping Jasper's thigh. But ever the gentleman, Edward eagerly urged on and generally did his best to stimulate his human as Jasper worked himself on Edward. Soon it was too much for Jasper, who came hard while the rabbit and field mice looked on.

Had Edward and Jasper gotten up at that point and headed home, this author's note would have had a happier ending and all shorts would have remained intact, if slightly cum-filled. But it was not to be.

Instead of leaving, they stayed to enjoy their blissful state collapsed on the frozen earth. Thus, when the fire spit several large sparks in their direction a few minutes later, the embers landed directly on the back of Jasper's gym shorts, causing the material to smoke and smolder a bit. Edward's head was so hazy, it even took him a full second and a half to register the smell of the fabric burning. When he did, he panicked, being highly flammable himself. He quickly rolled Jasper off him, and tore off Jasper's now sweaty, too-tight, slightly burning shorts that were more than a little damp from cum, and threw the shredded material into a nearby snowbank.

In retrospect, Jasper understood Edward's reaction, but at the time he was less than pleased. After all, he was lying on the muddy ground in a forest wearing nothing from the waist down except socks, sneakers and cold, wet, muddy, sticky underwear. This was especially unfortunate as Jasper was now unable to jog back to campus, his maroon shorts now in too many pieces to be in any way wearable.

It was quickly decided that Edward should run back for another pair of shorts and Jasper would just have to wait by the fire for the four minutes it would take Edward to make the trip. Jasper was not exactly happy with the plan, but could think of no other, so he allowed Edward to toss another small piece of wood on the fire, and resigned himself to wait by it in his wet underwear for Edward's return.

Edward, for his part, decided to run to his own apartment instead of Jasper's because it was closer and would shave a full 14 seconds off the time it would take him to run the errand. Besides, he had Jasper's favorite shorts in his backpack anyway, so he figured Jasper would be happy with Edward's choice.

As you might suspect, when Edward came back waving Jasper's favorite blue-gray shorts (whose disappearance had been the cause of Jasper's bad mood in the first place), Jasper just gaped at him. "_You_ had them?" Jasper asked incredulously.

"Yes, I borrowed them for sight-singing class," Edward explained, noting Jasper's cheeks had become delightfully ruddy from the cold in his absence. "I hope that was okay."

"It's a good thing I like you, Edward," Jasper said, rolling his eyes.

Edward nodded; he was lucky indeed. He just wondered if he was lucky enough to be able to dry hump the gorgeous Jasper another time before they had to return to campus.

_Note: Edward was not so lucky. But you probably already knew that. After all, he otherwise would have referred to the experience instead as "The Great Dry-hump__**s**__ of 2010." _


	21. Chapter 21: A first time for everything

**Said and done**

**Chapter 21: A first time for everything**

_A/N: Hello dear readers! I apologize for the delay. Business trip, broken laptop, and all kinds of things conspired to keep me away for a few weeks. But barring further disaster, we're back on track and updates should be coming regularly again. Thank you for your concern, but I promise I won't desert this fic!_

_Let's see, other news... I posted my one-shot from the In the Closet contest. If you are interested in some Jasper/Edward angst, it is posted under my profile. Also, Said and Done won Best Comedy in the Slash Awards! Thank you all so very very very much for reading and voting. Sloppy kisses for each of you! In addition, my Kate/Garrett one-shot, Duette, won Judges Pick in the Love for the Unloved contest. Exciting stuff!_

_The song for this chapter is "Impossible" by Anberlin. It is available at: www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=bjE_2fFMnG0&ob=av2e or just click the link in my profile._

_Thanks ever so much to Theladyingrey42 for prereading and to TwilightMundi for betaing. Giant hugs to you both._

_Stephenie Meyer owns everything you recognize. Rated M for mature themes and slash._

_Because it has been awhile, I'm going to post just a bit from the last chapter to get us rolling again..._

_

* * *

_

_I nodded. Carlisle had reviewed it for thoroughness and checked it for accuracy based on his knowledge of medicine. Though we were generally loathe to have written proof that Jasper knew of the existence of vampires, Carlisle agreed that Jasper should know what he was asking for, and that I should know what to do in the event that anything ever went amiss. His signature would do little to ease my fears for his safety, of course, but it seemed appropriate that everything was thoroughly documented._

_"You don't have to sign it, of course," I pointed out hopefully. Couldn't an existence rife with blowjobs be enough for him?_

_He ignored me and glanced at it again, quickly flipping through the 17 pages. "What if I have any edits?" he asked after a moment._

_"We can discuss them, I suppose," I agreed grudgingly._

_"Okay. I'll look it over after I finish translating that Ugaritic poetry I have for homework," he said, setting it down on a nearby table. He walked into his bedroom and returned with his sneakers. "Want to head to the dining hall for dinner with me?"_

_I nodded, quickly stepped into my own shoes and followed after him. I glanced one more time at the document sitting on his table before shutting the door behind us. I tried not to worry about what his reaction would be as we walked to the dining hall._

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"Edward, you have to stop." Jasper looked at me pointedly from his textbook.

I humphed at him. How was I supposed to sit still while he did his homework when our entire future was on the line?

"Look, I told you, I'm not going over your contract until I finish my work. And you dancing around and poking me and all that isn't helping me finish any faster," he explained. "Go find something to do."

"Oh, I have something to do," I said confidently. "You!"

He rolled his eyes at me as I snickered.

"I could do your homework for you?" I offered.

"No, I have to learn this," he replied.

"Alright, alright," I told him from where I was pacing. "Why don't I go down to the practice rooms for an hour?"

"Make it two," he sighed flipping through his notebook. "This stuff is hard."

I frowned. Two? That was far too many... well, if that's what he needed, I guess I could finish the rest of my 20th century music theory homework for the semester. I'd need to do it eventually...

"Alright," I agreed, slipping on my coat. I lightly kissed Jasper's perfect red lips and buried my face in his curls momentarily so that I could take a deep breath before bidding him goodbye.

I then headed off to the practice rooms buoyed by his scent and the feel of his sweet mouth upon my own.

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

One hour and 59 minutes later I knocked on Jasper's door.

"Come in," he called.

I dug out my key and let myself inside. I quickly found Jasper lounging on his bed with the contract open in front of him. I recognized the language at the top of the page. Page 14. He was almost finished. I gulped.

Would he sign or would he instead send me away? Would he at least finally take seriously the dangers inherent in our relationship?

"I just need a few more minutes," he said quietly.

I watched his face for any sign of his thoughts, but was unable to read his features. After a minute I gave up. "Well, I'm just going to take a shower while you finish," I replied. It was still early evening, but it would be one thing I wouldn't have to do later.

Jasper just nodded in response, so I headed for the bathroom.

There was something about hot water on my skin that was always extremely pleasant. It wasn't the pressure of the water, of course, which was far too light to do more than tickle, but the pervasive warmth always seemed to melt my frozen core a few degrees. I always felt closer to human standing in the steaming water.

I sighed into the spray from the shower head.

I reached for Jasper's shampoo and began to lather up when I heard the bathroom door click open. Jasper's scent moved through the heavy air.

"Hey," he said from the other side of the shower curtain.

"Hi," I said cautiously, quickly rinsing the suds from my hair. I couldn't tell by the tone of Jasper's greeting whether I should forgo using conditioner or not. It didn't sound like he wanted me to get out of his apartment and never come back, but I couldn't totally be sure.

"Can I come in?" Jasper asked after a moment.

"What?" I squeaked.

"You heard me," he replied. I heard him take a step closer to the shower and then his hand reached around the curtain.

Sitting in the palm of his hand was one still-wrapped condom.

I thought for a moment and then took it from him.

"Excellent!" he exclaimed when I took it from him. I couldn't help but laugh at his enthusiasm; that he wanted to shower with me was a fairly good indicator that he wasn't mad or completely freaked out after reading the contract.

I listened as he disrobed, chuckling when I heard him trip over his pants in the small space in his effort to join me as quickly as possible.

While he took care of undressing, I tore open the condom and put it on, all the while offering up prayers to Zeus, Hera, Aphrodite and others in the Greek pantheon that my Trojan would hold up as we horsed around.

I moved to the corner of the shower so Jasper could climb in beside me and have space under the spray of water. I watched as the water soaked his hair and ran down his body.

I swallowed. Jasper was wet. Hard and wet.

Hard and wet and beautiful...

He was literally dripping sex.

I was marginally successful at holding back a growl.

"So, I read it," he said after he wiped the water out of his eyes. "I can see why you'd want me to understand the risks of what we'd be doing. That said...well... I'm yours, Edward. Forever. Unlike you, I don't know what my forever will be yet. But whatever time I have, I want it with you. I'd say your little contract is right in line with that."

Hard, wet, beautiful, and mine. Forever. Well, maybe. That depended on his answer to the question on p.15.

But it was enough for now. I couldn't hold back. I shoved off the shower wall and kissed him harder than I'd ever dared to before. And I was happier than I ever thought I could be.

Until he pushed me away, that is.

"But..." he said, looking at my sternly. "I have an addendum."

"An addendum?" I asked. What else needed to be said? I'd been pretty thorough.

"Yes. I have a few things that I need you to agree to as well, if you want me to sign on the bottom line," he explained.

"Anything," I swore.

"Not so fast," he said. "I want you to take this seriously. You're going hunting tomorrow after class, right?"

I nodded.

"Okay," he continued. "I'll write it up tomorrow while you're in class and I'll slip it under your door. You can read it after class, and think about it while you go hunting. Afterward, why don't you bring it back here and we can talk about everything? And... sign... I guess. And of course, I'll answer your question on page 15 and initial next to my response, per your request."

"Okay," I replied, biting back my smile so that Jasper would know I was taking him seriously. "Can I kiss you again now?"

"You can do more than that," he said, pulling me to him and pressing himself against me.

I ground against his hip and grabbed his ass. "You're the best human ever," I told him.

"And you're my favorite vampire. Now, can we please take advantage of the fact that you don't need oxygen? Kneel down in the spray, will you? I need your mouth," he replied.

I smirked and instantly knelt, more than happy to oblige. I took him in my hand and rubbed along his length once or twice before opening my mouth to taste him.

"Hey! Wait!" he yelped.

Alarmed, I sat back on my heels. "What's the matter?"

"You, uh, you swallowed first, right?" he asked.

"Of course," I replied, taking him again in hand, and smiling at him reassuringly.

He nodded and pulled me back toward him. I swallowed again for him to see before licking along the underside of his cock and eventually taking all of him in my mouth.

I bobbed up and down on his length while I listened to his moans echoing off the shower walls. While I used my left hand to grip him, I slid my other hand up his chest so it rested above his heart. That muscle turned me on as much as the one on which I sucked.

He released one of his hands from my head to press my hand to his chest, whimpering when I swallowed deeply around him.

I let him slip from my mouth so that I could lick and suck lightly on his balls while I stroked him.

"Edward," he panted. "Oh my god!"

"Yesss," asked slyly looking up.

"Where did you learn to do that?" he paused, distracted when I licked his head. "You've never done that before."

I shrugged. "Google. Plus... it makes sense..." I trailed off. "Did you not like it?"

"No! It's fucking fantastic. You can definitely do that. I just was curious because... wait, what do you mean that it 'makes sense'?" he asked.

"Well... I...Ikindalikeit...you know...wheni'mtouchingmyself," I replied quickly, looking at the shower floor where he stood.

He laughed, and lifted my chin so I was looking at him. "That's hot. And I by the way, I kinda like it too. So feel free. Anytime."

I gave him another lick, dragging my tongue along him, and slurped at his tip.

Eventually he stepped back a bit and pulled me to my feet. He kissed me, our tongues slick with water from the shower.

I felt him reach between our bodies. "Still good?" he whispered.

The condom. "Yes. Still good," I affirmed, my head falling so I pressed my forehead to his shoulder, so I could watch as he wrapped his hand around me.

He grasped my erection and slid his hand along it. "You're amazing," I said in awe as I felt his hot palm on me through the thin latex.

I watched as he stroked me, punctuating his movements with kisses to the top of my head as I nuzzled him.

I reached out and gripped his length and began moving in the rhythm he'd established, though I faltered momentarily when he nipped at my earlobe.

Jasper picked up his pace on me as he neared his own orgasm. I nipped ever so gently at his neck and I felt his body tense next to me. He released my cock and steadied himself on me.

"Come for me?" I asked him quietly as I stroked him.

"Fuck, yes," he cried, groaning and coming seconds later, jerking his hips. I stroked him slowly as he came down from his orgasm. He kissed lazily me as his cum ran down my chest in the shower spray.

He soon reached for my erection once again, but this time reached his other hand to cup my balls as he did so. I looked at him in alarm.

"Oh, relax," he grinned. "It's no more dangerous than anything else. Besides, now I know you like it," he added, tugging a bit.

"I...oh!" I panted, seeing stars. "I…fuck...yeah, I do!"

I couldn't hold back my moans as he worked his hands on me.

When I could hold out no longer, I gave in to the tightening in my abdomen and came, filling the condom with my poison.

I collapsed backward against the shower wall.

"Fuck..." I panted. "Your hands..."

He grinned and picked up the body wash to start washing himself off. "I think the thousands of dollars I pay to this school is worth it just for the endless supply of hot water," he commented.

I nodded, still not trusting fully coherent sentences to emerge from my mouth.

"Want me to wash you?" he asked as he finished.

"Better not," I frowned at my dangerously filled condom, longing for the impossibility of nonpoisonous ejaculate.

"Okay," he said, kissing me lightly and stepping out of the shower.

I watched his back as he stepped out of the shower, his skin flushed from the exertion and steaming water. Droplets of water ran down his back and over his ass. I gulped and glanced down at my cock, which was now eager for round two.

The image of Jasper's pink flesh burned into my brain, I reached for the body wash, and hoped Jasper wouldn't notice if I spent a few additional minutes in his shower.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

I ran through the miles of wilderness in search of my supper, not to mention a bit of clarity.

I found the former far easier. The elk soothed my thirst to a degree, but only served to bring my other thoughts into sharper focus.

Namely Jasper's suggested addition to our contract. It made my head spin, my thoughts swirl to imagine.

Jasper didn't want to leave things up to chance. What was I supposed to do with this information?

I paused from my pursuit of my next course—a white-tailed deer that was definitely in the wrong place at the wrong time—to kick a large rock in frustration. I enjoyed the sound of the stone shattering into hundreds of pieces and flying into the air around me until I heard them rain down to the ground, reminding me of the sounds of the shower Jasper had taken with me the night before.

Everything reminded me of Jasper. Wild berries longed to be on his lips. The sky mimicked the gray of his eyes. The water droplet threatening to fall from the melting icicle was his engorged member leaking during...

I looked around me. The winter was clearly waking from its long nap. It was time for rebirth in the forest. Spring was around the corner.

If I signed on the bottom line, I was virtually ensuring he'd have no more than a few springs left. But change for Jasper would mean permanent death instead of bursting into life.

The thought froze my heart the way few things could.

Could purposefully I freeze his?

I shook my head clear of my thoughts and located the scent of my deer in the air. I took off running toward it. I drank the buck and several other small animals, the activity keeping my mind subdued in favor of pure instinct.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Hours later, I was seated at Jasper's kitchen table, the document that would alter our lives spread open in front of me.

"Did you have any questions?" I asked as Jasper grabbed a pen and sat down with me.

"Not really. You were very thorough," he pointed out.

"What about section 4(d)? Did you understand that part?" It was a survey of several centuries of human/vampire coitus, as researched by Carlisle. He'd uncovered no lasting homosexual relationships other than one pair that had existed in third century Roman Empire. But Carlisle even had his doubts about this, knowing that the only types of condoms in use at the time were in the form of goat bladders, which would have been woefully inadequate in terms of the protection they offered.

But Jasper just shrugged. "There's a first time for everything."

"Well then, what about paragraph 27(c), part 1(f)?" I asked, flipping to page 13. That was the section that fully outlined the properties of vampire venom on human flesh.

"It's fine," he answered.

"Subsection h?" I asked doubtfully.

"That was perfectly clear," he replied, involuntarily shivering.

"What about—" I started to ask.

"Edward, I get it," he interrupted me.

I cleared my throat. "Well then, I guess that brings us to page 15." I flipped to that page. Clause 39, section A(3)(g)(2)(iv), required an answer from Jasper. The paragraph documented Jasper's preferred outcome should there ever be an accident in which he ended up poisoned by my venom in a way that was irreparable. In other words, if he wouldn't survive, would he rather die or become a vampire?

"So, I just circle one?" he asked, looking at the page.

"And initial next to it please," I confirmed.

I held my breath and stared at the page as he tapped the pen on the table a few times.

The words seemed to jump off the page, their importance giving them such weight that I could focus on nothing else.

Change or Die. Circle A or B.

My god.

Was there really no C?

How could there be no C?

Oh my god.

How had Jasper's life been reduced to this?

How had I let it get this far?

_What was I doing?_

I looked up and met Jasper's eyes, horrified.

When he registered the look on my face, he dropped the pen and put his hands on mine where I gripped the table tightly.

"Stay with me, Edward," he said slowly. "I need you to stay strong. I need to know you're with me as I make this choice. And I _do_ need to make this choice."

"You don't! You don't! I won't let you. I'm sorry. I can go. I'll leave now. Or... I'll stay and we'll just have very careful handjobs for the rest of your life. There are other options," I cried.

"I don't want careful handjobs for the rest of _my_ life. I want mindblowing sex with you for the rest of _our _lives," he replied.

I watched him pick up the pen. "And..." he continued, "I want our lives to last a really, really long time."

He put the pen to the page but before he could circle the word "Change" I grabbed his wrist to stop him. "No! Wait! What about page 9, part 14(m)?"

He raised his eyebrow at me as though I was speaking Ugaritic, which he still hadn't properly learned thanks to the amount of time he spent in or trying to get in my pants.

I sighed and pulled back my hand. "The section that explains all the disadvantages of being a vampire."

"I think there are more drawbacks to _not _being with my vampire," he said, moving his pen to the page again.

"Wait!" I cried again, snagging the pen from him. "Are you drunk? Because if you're drunk, this whole thing is going to be invalid."

He raised an eyebrow. "I'm not drunk and you know it. You can smell the alcohol when I take cough medicine, for god's sake."

"Well you shouldn't take it just to fall asleep," I explained.

He rolled his eyes. "If it meant you could sleep, would _you _take it?"

"That's different," I said.

He just held his hand out for the pen in response.

"Fine," I acknowledged.

"Thank you," he said after I gave it to him. He stood up and came over to sit in my lap. "Now hold me while I answer this."

"Okay," I breathed and wrapped my arms around him when he sat. He kissed me.

"I love you," I whispered and closed my eyes and buried my face in his back so I didn't have to watch.

"I love you more than life," he whispered as I heard the scratch of the pen on paper.

When he finished, I swallowed and I peeked at the page.

Change.

He'd circled "Change".

I stared in shock, the enormity of his choice overwhelming my heart.

Change over death. Me over death.

I started kissing him and couldn't stop. His mouth, up and down his back and shoulders. His neck. His hands. His eyes. His heart.

Change.

Far too soon he turned to me and handed me the pen. He pulled out the single loose page he'd torn from one of his binders. It was his contribution to our agreement. "Your turn."

Jasper's demand was simple at first glance. There was only one sentence handwritten on the page:

_If, at the age of 30, Jasper Whitlock Hale is still a.) human and b.) married to, domestic partners with, or otherwise in an exclusive romantic relationship with Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, Jasper may choose to become a vampire with Edward's assistance._

He looked at me. "I just think that if we are lucky enough to still be healthy and completely in love at that time, that we should address whether it makes sense for me to become...well...permanent... on purpose, as opposed to by accident."

"I see," I replied. It sounded so easy. But while it was one thing to choose change over death, it was quite another to choose it over life.

"I don't want to end your life," I told him. It was as simple as that.

He turned to face me. "You wouldn't be. You'd just be changing it a bit. Besides, I'm not saying it is a definite that I'll want to change, but I'd like to have the option. I think we'll know by then what we want to do with our forever. Besides, this way we have plenty of time to decide...that's six years away," he said.

"Five years, two hundred and 12 days, and 17 minutes. A drop in the bucket," I muttered.

He looked at me patiently while I pouted.

"Do you not _want_ me to be a vampire?" he asked eventually.

I started to laugh when he stopped me.

"It's a legitimate question. It's quite a commitment for you. You'd have me around forever. Maybe you don't want that," he said thoughtfully.

"Jasper, I want you with me. I always will. It is my secret hope that one day you'll be...like me. I mean, not as in you'll have a preference for Volvos and Velcro and will finally learned Ugaritic and be able to tell when your guitar strings are flat. But that you'll, you know, give up blueberries for wild game and be willing to trade your pulse for permanence." I sucked in air. "That you'll be a vampire. Like me. There. Now you know what I long for. But at the same time, you have to understand that I abhor the thought of turning you, knowing you're giving up your life for me. I'm not worth it. I can't even play the piano well anymore. Ask my professor."

"Look," he said, cupping my chin. "Can we agree to talk about it again in a few years if it is still an issue? That's really all I'm asking."

"Okay," I finally agreed. "We can talk."

"Good, now sign." He nudged the pen toward me.

"Verbal agreements are binding in the state of Washington," I told him.

"Edward, just sign, okay?" he said, hugging me tightly.

I breathed in deeply, inhaling the scent of the man who wanted to be mine forever.

And I signed.

And after that it was easy. We both quickly added our signatures and the date to the end of the main contract. I offered to make Jasper a photocopy, but he claimed it was unnecessary.

In fact, as soon as we signed Jasper started grinding his ass into my lap. Apparently legalese made him horny.

Unfortunately, I had to still his hips with my hands. "Jasper, now isn't exactly a good time," I said, glancing over at his coat closet.

"Why?" he asked, trying again to wiggle despite my grip. "Come on! I signed, now let's have sex!"

"Uh, Jasper, I have to...prepare," I fished for an excuse as he licked and nipped at my neck, having temporarily given up on grinding.

"I've got condoms and lube, what else do we need?" he asked. "Now, let's go." He stood up and attempted to pull me after him.

"I don't think that's such a good idea right now..." I trailed off, as he headed toward his bedroom.

"It's the best idea I've ever had. Now, I'm going to be completely naked in approximately 30 seconds and I want you with me." He paused to peek back around his door frame so he was looking at me. "And about five minutes after that, I want your fingers, if not your impossibly hard cock, buried in my ass."

And that's when Emmett snorted from his nearby hiding place in Jasper's coat closet.

Fuck.

Jasper went immediately to the closet and threw it open. My brother came out of the closet looking a bit sheepish. "Sorry, Edward."

Jasper glared at me. "You _knew_ he was in there?"

I shrugged. "We needed a witness to make the contract legal," I explained, "And we couldn't exactly take it to a notary."

**XXXXXXXXXX**

I looked up, startled, when my piano professor stopped me during my lesson. I had been playing Mily Balakirev's_ Islamey_.

"Do you realize you just missed a note?" he asked me, looking stunned.

"I did?" I asked. I thought for a moment. "Actually, I think you're correct. I missed the C sharp in the penultimate arpeggio, didn't I?"

"You did," my professor confirmed. "You've never missed a note before. Not in... well, all the years you've been playing for me. Are you feeling okay, Edward?"

"I'm fine," I replied. "Just...distracted, I guess."

I _was_ distracted. Jasper had agreed to wait a few days so that I could prepare to enact our agreed upon coupling. But with my head racing with possible outcomes, scenarios, and sensations, I found it difficult to give adequate attention to the piano music I was playing.

"Well then. Again, shall we?" he suggested.

I nodded and picked up a few measures prior to where he had stopped me. This time I tried to block the thoughts of Jasper laying on my bed, completely naked and eagerly awaiting my rock-hard erect—

"Edward? Edward?"

After a moment I registered that my professor was calling for my attention once again.

"Yes?" I sighed.

"You missed the F," he replied.

Dammit. I frowned and began again.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

I stood outside of Jasper's door and knocked. It was time.

"Come in," he called.

It was a fitting greeting, considering the activity on which we were about to embark.

I let myself in the door, but suddenly I wasn't sure whether I should take off my coat. What if Jasper wanted to do that part? It wasn't my best coat; it didn't do much for my figure, and the shade of gray brought out my general pallor, so perhaps it was best that I remove it before Jasper saw me. But then, I'd learned there was something very sensual about unzipping clothing, so perhaps it was best to leave my jacket on after all. Suddenly, I wished I'd worn my other coat; the zipper was far smoother, plus the cut was flattering to my ass. Then again, it was leather, and didn't want to mislead Jasper into thinking I wanted to bottom after all.

"Edward?" Jasper interrupted my thoughts just when I was deciding to run back to my apartment to change.

"Yes?" I stepped into his bedroom, suddenly nervous.

"Whatcha doin'?" he asked, patting the bed beside him where he sat with his laptop.

"Well, I was just thinking that I should have worn my other coat today," I explained, standing somewhat awkwardly in the doorway, with my coat half off.

He looked confused. "You were _cold?"_

"Not exactly," I replied, eager to change the subject.

But I wasn't quite sure where to turn our conversation. How did one politely say, "Now that we've finally agreed to risk your life by having you impale yourself on my cock, could we get started already because I've already jerked off three times today imagining it and if you keep sitting there on the bed much longer in those shorts, I'm going to need to make it four"?

"So..." Jasper said, breaking the silence.

"So..." I trailed off, sticking my hands in my pocket.

"Did you eat?" I asked, suddenly inexplicably eager to delay our union. Perhaps Jasper would want to head to the dining hall first.

"I already did," he said. "Salad. I thought you'd like that."

I nodded into the silence. "Yes. Good. Healthy," I finally replied awkwardly.

"You?" he asked eventually.

I nodded. "A few days ago..."

"Good," he replied, picking at the bedspread.

"Yeah. It was pretty good. I had elk," I elaborated.

"Great!" Jasper replied a little too enthusiastically.

I studied the speckled pattern on the thin industrial carpeting on the floor for a few moments. I wondered idly what sort of donation it would take to get the university to redo Jasper's flooring with something a little more plush. A nice dense velvet would be good, perhaps in blue. No, gray. No, blue-gray. No, blue. Definitely blue. Or gray.

And then we both spoke at once, interrupting each other with virtually the same words. "You know, we don't have to—"

I paused. "This is stupid. I love you," I told him honestly.

"And I love you," he replied, staring at me.

"Then fuck the carpet!" I cried, tearing off my clothing. I had far more important things to consider. Like Jasper naked.

"Wait. What?" he started to ask as I leaped onto the bed.

"Nothing. It's just that your feet deserve something a little softer, don't you think?" I replied. "But don't worry about it. I'll take care of it."

There was no time to explain further as I ripped and shredded his clothing in my haste to disrobe him.

And then he was nude and oh so close as I knelt beside him, and I was unable not to stare. I licked my lips. Jasper. Naked Jasper. Hot Jasper. _My_ Jasper. I growled.

He reached into his nightstand. "Better put this on?" he said, handing me a condom.

Right. Of course. Best not to sit beside Jasper with an erection that could leak at any moment. "Traitor penis," I grumbled.

"Huh?" Jasper asked.

I just shook my head and put on the condom. Once I had done so, I lay down beside him, the length of my body pressed to his while I placed open mouthed kisses along his jaw line and down his neck, paying extra attention to the spot behind his ear, which I knew he loved. I listened as he sharply sucked in air when I reached the base of his neck, only the thinnest flesh separating my teeth from his life vein. Yet it would be far from the most dangerous activity we would engage in this night.

I felt Jasper twist beside me seeking friction. I ground back, moaning at the sensation of his erection against my own. And when my lips found his, we kissed through matching smiles.

When my desire for Jasper's cock became too great, I slipped from our tangled limbs, so that I could move down his body and take him in my mouth.

I wrapped my arms around his thighs, spreading him out beautifully before me, and took the entirety of him into my mouth.

"Yessss," Jasper hissed as I sucked my way up and down his cock. There was something to be said for never needing to breathe.

I paused to lick from his balls up to his tip, tasting him on my tongue, and swirling my tongue around before taking him again deeply into my mouth. Jasper's sounds of pleasure were music to my ears.

When he propped himself up on his elbows and craned his neck to watch me, I tossed him a pillow. It was too early in the evening for him to be straining a muscle.

I took him in hand so I could lick along his hip bones, to worship my way from his navel to the base of his cock, to taste the skin along his inner thighs and enjoy the weight of his flesh on my tongue. Every inch of Jasper was delicious.

Eventually I returned my mouth to his cock, kissing and licking along his shaft until I took him deeply once again, swallowing around him. Jasper was panting. He'd given up on watching me, and was alternately moaning and whispering my name, while he gripped the bedspread with white knuckles.

When I felt Jasper's hands on my shoulder, I looked up, meeting his gaze. He bit his lip and held out the bottle of lube. I nodded and took it. It was time.

Offering up a quick thank you to whoever had invented the Internet—and for the step-by-step instructions I'd found via Google once I figure out how to turn off the Safe Search option Carlisle or Esme must have activated on my laptop—I took a deep breath and applied some of the slippery substance to my finger.

Here goes everything, I thought, as I gently touched my finger to Jasper's flesh. I massaged the area a bit, adding a bit more pressure when a few unintelligible syllables came from Jasper's mouth. I took them as a good sign, added a bit more of the lube, and this time, pressed the tip of my finger carefully into him.

I listened, and was rewarded by further encouragement from Jasper. I took my time, learning his body's reactions, and eventually adding an additional digit. I was careful, and I could tell Jasper enjoyed my efforts. In fact, he seemed to like it so very much as I moved my fingers in him, that I was a bit surprised when he eventually called for my attention.

I paused and sat up, wondering what I'd done wrong.

"If you don't put your cock in me right now, you're going to sleep on the sofa for a month," he threatened.

I started to correct him, but he cut me off.

"I know, I know, you don't sleep..." he said. "But seriously. I need you. Like now. Please," he pleaded.

I took a deep breath to take the edge of my nerves, which had suddenly returned full force. "Okay, Jasper. Promise you'll say something if I hurt you?"

He nodded and pulled me toward him. He kissed me. "Please, Edward. Let's show vampires everywhere how it's done," he joked, slapping my ass lightly. "Let it be recorded in the annals of vampiric history that on this day, in 2010, one Edward Cullen fuck—" he proclaimed.

"Jasper, I'm nervous" I interrupted.

"I know," his voice soft and sweet again. He kissed me lightly. "How about this...roll over. I'll take over for now, okay?"

I nodded and laid down on my back.

He climbed on top of me, kneeling, and my hands instinctively went to his ass, while he positioned himself. I felt him reach his hand around the base of my cock. Fuck. If his hand felt that good I wondered what his ass was going to feel like.

"Now, Edward...Don't move," he said sternly.

I gulped.

And then it was heat and pressure like I hadn't known. I was on fire and my body begged for me to thrust up for more. But the look in Jasper's eyes kept me as still as stone.

I watched him carefully, and prepared to pull back away from him.

But then he flexed and his flesh surrounded me a bit further. I swear I didn't move, but still, he gasped a bit.

Then more, I felt him enveloping me, his body surrendering to my hardness as he pressed down so very, very slowly, until he came to rest on my hips, his muscles working to relax around me. And I felt Every. Little. Thing.

And oh, my god, it was hot and perfect and why again had I waited so long for this?

I looked to Jasper to confirm he felt the same when I saw the bit water welling up in Jasper's eye. I reached up to his face, and collected the tear on my thumb. "Oh, oh my god! Are you...? Do you need to...?"

I tried not to panic. This was terrible. I hadn't meant to make Jasper cry. I'd never made him cry before. Well except for that one time at the supermarket with the banana, but that didn't count.

"No, no, Edward, I'll be fine. Better than fine," he replied, grasping my hand. "I just need a second."

I wondered how much time he needed. I'd been waiting for this for more than 90 years. Well, technically, I guess I'd only been waiting for this for three and a half months, but it _felt_ like at least a centur—Ooooh!

Jasper shifted slightly. It was... well, I didn't have time to figure it out exactly what it was because he moved again. And then a little more.

Mother of all things hot and pulsing, that felt good.

After a moment, he leaned down and placed his mouth on mine and I was quite certain that everything that had ever been wrong in the world was now right.

"We were meant for this, you know," he said as he sat up again. My hands went to his hips, and he slowly began to move and flex rhythmically over me. I wanted to watch him but the sensation of his hot flesh around mine was almost too much. I closed my eyes so I could concentrate on not moving.

As Jasper's body adapted, I felt him pick up his pace, and flexing and arching above me.

"Umm, Edward?" he asked, slowing to catch his breath. "You can move, you know. I trust you."

"I'm not sure that's a good idea..." I replied. If I even let go the smallest bit, I might never get back in control.

"I may have made this too easy for you," he said, thinking for a moment.

"I sincerely doubt that," I told him.

"No, I definitely have," he said, climbing off of me.

I couldn't hold back my whimper when I felt the distinct absence of his heat around me.

I watched as Jasper lay down on his back and bent his knees, urging me to kneel between them.

I did so, and then got into position, moving toward him slowly. Very slowly. Very, very slowly.

Verrrrrry slowly.

"Edward?" he asked.

"Yes?" I replied.

"Any time now," he looked amused.

"Yes, but, I can't, I wanna, I don't, I think, I mean... maybe, I... oh fuck. Help me. I don't want to hurt you," I cried. All I wanted to do was reinsert myself into Jasper, but now that I was thinking clearly, all of the what-ifs came flooding back and I couldn't do it.

"Edward, I _need _you to do this," he replied in a measured voice.

"Well, I just think that..." I trailed off.

"Look, I want you to fuck me and you want you to fuck me, so I really think that you should just go ahead and—Fuck!"

"Alright!" I growled, entering his body again. Geez, I didn't want to fight with him.

"Thank you," he sighed. "Now, it's all you. And make it good," he added, with a grin and a wink.

"Right," I said, determined to turn his smirk into a moan.

It didn't take much.

I flexed my hips a few times and grew more confident. Soon it was my turn to smirk. It was my first time and I already knew what he liked and what made him pant and exactly which angle to use to cause him to cry out. For example...

"Fuck!" he hissed.

Yes. There was the spot. I grinned.

And again...

"Fuck, Edward!" he cried. "Soooo good."

Turns out I was pretty good at this. A natural. Gifted. Perhaps even a sex prodigy. By our second or third time, I'd be a complete expert, I could tell. Other vampires would look to me for advice. I'd be a sex god. They might even bring me gifts and burn incense and bow down—

"Oh, shit!" I cried out, when Jasper clenched around me. Hmm. I guess he knew what he was doing as well.

I wasn't about to complain.

When he reached down and picked up his cock and began stroking himself, I picked up my tempo, ostensibly for Jasper's sake, though I didn't exactly mind it myself. God, he felt amazing. Tight and hot and perfect. The only reason I was able to pull out at all was because I knew I could go right back in.

He was so beautiful, flushed and open before me, and touching himself. Touching himself! That would never get old. Yes, there he was giving himself to me despite all the odds. Jasper had chosen me. I was the luckiest vampire in the world. I leaned over him, cradling him as I rolled my hips, bring us both pleasure I'd never known.

Jasper's moans picked up and I felt his body preparing to reach its climax. I held his gaze as I reached between us and stroked him until he gave in, shuddering and clenching and falling apart below me. I stilled and held him tightly in my arms, only barely holding off my own orgasm, while I gave him time to put himself back together.

Soon, Jasper opened his eyes and saw the strain of holding back on my face. "It's okay. You'd know if it wasn't, right?" he asked.

I nodded. Our protection was still in perfect shape.

"Then come, Edward. It's safe," he whispered, and kissed me with his berry red lips.

Still in him, wrapped in his arms, trusting in no more than a thin bit of latex, I handed Jasper's safety to fate, and came while buried deep within him.

And then it was over, and it was the most amazing feeling I'd ever known.

I looked at Jasper who appeared to be passed out in the bed.

"Jasper, my god! Are you okay?" I asked. Had I accidentally fucked him to death?

He lazily raised an eyebrow at me. "I'm just fine," he slurred.

I wanted to roll my eyes at him, but how could I? It didn't feel right to mock him when I was still _in_ him.

Shit! I was still in him! I pulled out, groaning at the separation and quickly headed to the bathroom to rid myself of the condom and erase all traces of my poison before donning a pair of shorts and slipping back into bed with Jasper.

He pulled me to my side so I was facing him and grabbed my hand and placed it where his heart was still pounding. He rested his other palm on my chest above my own silent heart. As we lay together quietly, I felt Jasper's pulse through his hand, urging the muscle to remember what it was like to flex and beat. I relished his steady pulse and was perfectly content to let Jasper's heart beat for mine.

I bit my lip. He was gorgeous.

I wondered how long he'd want to wait before we did it again.

* * *

_A/N: Thanks so much for reading and favoriting and alerting and reviewing. It's hard to express exactly how much it means! Xoxoxo_

_I hope it lived up to your expectations, and I promise I won't make you wait as long for the next chapter._


	22. Chapter 22: Dip and plunge

**Said and done**

**Chapter 22: Dip and plunge**

_A/N: Thank you so much for all of the kind reviews last chapter. It was a special time for these boys and I'm so glad you are reading along and could share it with them._

_Bazillions of thank yous to the Theladyingrey42 for prereading this chapter and to TwilightMundi for betaing. *Squishes*_

_The song for this chapter is "Lights out" by Santigold. It is available at: www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=CVIedQ88rxY or just click the link in my profile._

_Stephenie Meyer owns everything you recognize. Rated M for mature themes and slash._

_

* * *

_

"Fuuuuuuuuuck!" Jasper cursed as he came all over the bed.

I slowed my thrusting as he did so, and enjoyed the sensation of his body tensing around mine. I was also loving this new doggy-style position Jasper had suggested we try. Technically, it actually more closely resembled the mating of the Asian snow leopard, but I didn't tell Jasper. He was beyond hot from this angle and if he was content, I wasn't about to muck it up by insisting on accurate zoology.

I stroked his cock once or twice, causing his body to tremble with aftershocks.

When I saw his arms threatening to give out below him, I reached around him and pulled him back up tight against my own chest. He turned to kiss me, and I teased his lips and tongue with my own. And then I grasped him carefully around his abdomen so I could fuck him at vampire-speed without giving him whiplash. It took 43 seconds for me to come.

I was getting better indeed.

After I took care of the necessary venom cleanup, I returned to the bed to curl up with Jasper.

He turned to me with a sly grin. "I think I need a cigarette."

I pointed to my chest. "Um, highly flammable. Besides, I'm ready to go again when you are," I told him, waggling my eyebrows.

Jasper groaned. "Edward, I can't. I've got to get to class. I can't skip any more."

"You can though! You haven't missed this one yet," I insisted.

He closed his eyes for a moment before slowly opening them slowly. "You know what? You're right. I could. But I don't want to. I want to go to class."

"You like class better than sex?" I pouted.

"Of course not," he said, patting my knee. "But we've already done it three times and it's not even noon!"

"That's not so many times," I said. I mean, I'd overheard Emmett and Rosalie have sex three times in the span of 41 minutes before. Not that I'd counted. Or listened.

"It is considering last night's marathon," Jasper pointed out.

"Ugh, fine," I said, frowned. I sighed as he got up from the bed to get ready from class. Now what was I going to do? What had I done with my free time before Jasper? Whatever it was, I doubted it was very interesting. All of my previous activities paled in comparison to being naked with Jasper.

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Yesssss," I hissed as Jasper wrapped his hand around my cock and stroked it. I grasped the comforter beneath me as he worked on my sheathed erection.

"Jasper," I moaned his name as he picked up his pace. He always knew exactly what I—

"Oh!" I yelped. That was new. "Uh, Jasper?"

He looked up from between my legs and grinned. "Yes?"

"You shouldn't uh, put your finger, um, right _there_. It might be dangerous," I said quickly.

He laughed. "You say that about everything new that we try. Why would this be any more dangerous than touching you anywhere else?"

I thought for a moment. "Well, I suppose you might be right."

"I'm always right," he said, a smirk on his face. "Now, turn over, because there's something _else_ I can put right _there_."

There was just no way that I could bottom for him, and I wasted no time in reminding him of this. "Jasper, come on, we've been over this a hundred times. You're not strong enough. My body is too inflexib—"

"That's actually not what I meant," he told me. "Now roll over."

Wondering what he had in mind, I did as he asked and waited.

"Actually, get on your knees, okay?" he said after a moment.

I frowned. "Jasper, you won't be able to—"

"Trust me, Edward," was all he said.

I huffed and raised my ass so it was practically level with his face. It was hard not to feel unusually exposed in this rather vulnerable positioning.

And that's when I felt Jasper's tongue on my right cheek. I shivered a bit at the sensation. Okay, well, that was kinda nice, I thought, as he moved to the other side and nipped at the other cheek.

"I love your ass, Edward. You should know that," he said slapping my butt.

"Thanks, Jasper!" It wasn't my favorite body part, so I appreciated his kind words.

He chuckled. "No problem," he replied, slapping my other cheek.

And then he pressed his finger to me again.

It was fascinating, really. I tried not to squirm.

And then he started sort of...massaging...me a bit.

And holy fuck, it was nothing like I'd ever felt before. Not like John Cage's 4'33", which I'd had the displeasure of experiencing once during a student recital a few years back, but like the first time Jasper kissed me. In other words, I hoped to become intimately acquainted with Jasper in this way, in every possible manifestation of the act, repeatedly, until the end of time.

And then something slick, and hot, and wet took a light pass at me.

I gasped. Holy fuck. Jasper put his _tongue _right _there. _

"Jasper?" I squeaked.

"Shaddup, I'm busy," he told me, giving me another slap on my ass.

I soon felt his tongue blaze a wet trail up from my balls to _that place. _And then...then...then he... well, he stayed there. Circling a bit, and well, dipping, even. He _dipped_. Dear god, Jasper was _dipping. _Dipping, and circling and licking and pressing and holy fuck, he was doing it all _right there._

Fuck, he must really love me, I realized, to... well, _plunge _and _swirl_...like that.

He then proceeded to press his thumb against the flesh right behind my balls as he continued to plunge, and dip, circle and... oh yes... fuck... swirl.

I closed my eyes to concentrate on the sensations, the exquisite sensations, brand new and intense and perfect, as they washed over me.

And then, while thumbing, and licking, and plunging, Jasper reached around with his other hand and wrapped his hand around my cock. Quite the multi-tasker, my Jasper.

Once, twice, three times he stroked me and I couldn't help it. I howled, and my hips were jerking and I was coming hard, caught off-guard by the orgasm that ripped through me.

"Whoa," I finally whispered.

"Ha! Ya like that?" Jasper asked, smacking my ass.

"Thank you sir, may I have another?" I replied. Emmett was always saying that, and it seemed appropriate.

Jasper laughed so hard he fell off the bed.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

I was lighting the last of the 28 candles I recently purchased and scattered around my bedroom when Jasper got back from his last class. He came in and took in the candles along with the Spanish guitar music playing in the background and the new luxury sheets I'd put on the bed.

He glanced at me, darkening eyes meeting pitch black ones.

"Playing with fire, Edward?" he growled.

"I was very carefu—" I started to say, but he cut me off.

"Shh," he admonished me. "That's hot."

"Oh yeah?" I asked, mentally high-fiving the "Spicy Night" scented candles I'd ordered online. Frankly, I didn't see what was so great about the scent, but Jasper seemed to dig it. That was what mattered. Besides, until Yankee Candle decided to market a "Fresh Plasma" scent, I'd remain largely uninterested.

I hummed in enjoyment thinking of it, the smell perfectly vivid in my mind. In fact, I could almost taste the red blood cells in my mouth. I gulped and tried to dismiss the thought and turn my attention back to Jasper.

Jasper. Must think of Jasper. Forget the blood. Jasper.

I opened my eyes and looked at him. He was standing in the doorway to my bedroom eying my bare chest and biting his lip.

And that lip was bleeding slightly.

I growled. Fuck.

He released his lip and the scent washed over the room.

"You're so fucking sexy," he breathed.

"You're bleeding," I replied, swallowing repeatedly.

"Just for you," he whispered. I wasn't the only one playing with fire.

"Fuck," I growled. "Jasper..."

He bit his lip again and deepened his wound. "That's the idea," he said. "Fuck me, Edward."

I tackled him without another thought.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"Can I do this?" I asked, moving my tongue across Jasper's tender flesh as he lay naked before me.

"I don't know, can you?" Jasper muttered.

I looked up. "I don't have to. Do you not like that? I just thought maybe..."

Jasper sighed. "No, it feels great. Everything has felt great. It's just that you've been teasing me for hours straight and if you don't let me come soon, I'm going to tear my hair out."

"But how else will we know what you like and don't like? I need time to figure it out." I reminded him, eager to keep exploring his body and to learn its intimate secrets. "Now, how about this?" I ever-so-lightly ran my teeth across him.

Jasper shivered. "Seriously, if you don't suck me off in the next 10 seconds, I'm going to go take care of things myself in the shower. I can't take it any more. I'm starting to think my penis will never be the same."

"You'll be fine," I told him. I was sure of it. Those commercials always warned against having an erection for more than four hours, and we'd only been going three and a half. "In fact, we still have 30 minutes left."

"No, you have 10 seconds. Not even that. You're down to seven," he warned. "Six... five..."

"God, Jasper, if you wanted me to give you a blow job you should've just asked," I said.

He glared at me. "Three... two..."

"Alright!" I yelped, and took him in my mouth. We'd just have to experiment more another time, which was completely fine with me.

**XXXXXXXXX**

I held Jasper's penis in my hand and watched it harden beneath my gaze. Veins pulsing, flesh swelling. I gulped. It was enough to cause a vampire to lose his mind.

God, his cock was so beautiful. I was tempted to write vast quantities of poetry in its honor. Perhaps some nice sonnets. Oh, or a few odes. "Ode to the Rise of Jasper," maybe. Or perhaps "Ode to the Penis that didn't care I wasn't human". And definitely "Ode to that one Vein." I sighed. That one was my favorite. I gazed at it unabashedly.

When I heard Jasper turn the page in his textbook, I looked up in time to see him glance at me.

"You know, I'm not a science project," he said after a moment.

"Certainly not," I agreed. I couldn't imagine 7th grade biology students studying the likes of Jasper's length, perfect specimen though it was.

He sighed. "I'm actually trying to study," he pointed out.

"Oh, that's okay, I don't mind," I told him. I didn't need his attention to bask in his beauty.

"Well, it's distracting," he said, pulling my hand off him and tucking himself back into his shorts.

I frowned. "But..."

He rolled his eyes. "Edward, later, okay?" he asked, before giving me a peck on the lips.

"Fine," I agreed, picking up a book and pretending to read.

After a few minutes, when I was certain he was engrossed in his textbook, I slowly reached for his shorts, hoping to expose him to my gaze once again without his notice.

Unfortunately, I wasn't halfway to his hemline when he swatted me away.

"Fine," I huffed, getting up and going to find my laptop. "Another time then."

"Sounds good," he replied, pausing for a moment before telling me he loved me.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I said, booting up my laptop as I planned the first line of my "Sonnet 69: On his glorious erection."

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"You know what I think we should try?" I asked Jasper.

Jasper looked up from his laptop, where he was working on his paper on Babylonian political propaganda. It was due the next day but it was only Sunday morning and surely we could have sex once or twice and he'd still have plenty of time to finish.

"I think we should do it standing up. I could hold you around my waist. Maybe we could use that wall over there for support. Here, let me show you." I moved to pick up Jasper and show him what I envisioned, but he stopped me.

"No, no, that's not necessary. I know what you mean," he said.

"Great! So, can we?" I asked.

"Uh, not right now," he replied.

"Please? I'll write your paper for you?" I offered.

Jasper looked at me. "Edward, listen. I'm serious now. No. I can't have sex you anymore. I'm really sore and I have homework."

No more sex? Impossible! "But Jasper—"

He shook his head. "I'm only human, Edward."

Well, how could I argue with that? I frowned.

"How about visiting your family for awhile? Aren't some of them home on spring break this week anyway?" he asked.

It was true. Alice's spring break began this week, whereas ours was still a few weeks away. Actually, it wasn't such a bad idea. I hadn't seen many of them in some time. I wondered if Emmett and Rosalie could also drive home for the day. I'd have to give them a call.

"Okay," I agreed. "But will you still have time to write your paper?"

He looked confused. "I have all day."

"I thought you wanted to visit Forks?" Geez, Jasper, make up your mind.

"No, I meant y_ou_. Why don't _you_ visit your family?" he said, getting off the bed and coming over to me. He wrapped his arms around my waist. "I'll stay here. I need time to work and you haven't seen them in awhile."

"Oh." The word seemed caught in my throat. I looked at the floor, the ceiling, over Jasper's shoulder at the wall, anywhere but at Jasper. "Okay then." I blinked at the strangled sound of my voice. I hoped Jasper didn't notice. I stepped away from him.

Jasper was silent. I could feel his eyes on me. He didn't speak to me until I finally gave in and met his gaze. "Edward, come on. You didn't have sex—or me, for that matter—for 90 years. You'll survive nine hours on your own. I just need time to work."

"Well, I have quite a backlog to work through," I pointed out.

Jasper raised an eyebrow.

"Fine," I huffed. "I said 'okay'." If he needed me to go, I'd go. I went to put on my shoes.

"Just for a few hours. I appreciate that," he said as I got ready to go.

"Right," I said curtly, heading to the door. He came over to kiss me goodbye, but I turned my head and let him kiss my cheek instead, still hurt that he had chosen his class over coitus.

He rolled his eyes at me. "I love you," he said.

I knew it was true. Seventeen pages with his signature at the end pretty much proved that beyond a reasonable doubt. I tried to smile. "How could you not? You're only human," I told him attempting a joke.

I could tell he appreciated my effort. "Have fun," he told me, heading back to his laptop. "Drive slow."

I shut and locked the door behind me and started to head down the hallway of the dorm on the way to my car when I heard Jasper call to me, just loud enough so that I could hear him through the walls.

"Hey, Edward?" I paused, but before I could decide to go back, he continued. "When you get back I think we should try the thing where you take me up against the wall."

I smirked. I wasn't gone 15 seconds and he already missed me and my cock.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

The rest of the family had already gathered when I arrived in Forks.

"What took you so long?" Rosalie asked. "We left after you and had a longer drive and still beat you by a half hour."

"Nice to see you too, Rosalie," I sighed. "And it's because Jasper doesn't like me to drive too fast."

Rosalie looked at me like I was crazy. "He's not with you."

I shrugged. "I know, but..." I trailed off.

"Dude, he's got you whipped," Emmett snorted.

Esme cocked her head and examined me for a moment before smiling widely. "I think it's sweet."

Rosalie rolled her eyes.

"I believe you have some paperwork for me?" Carlisle prompted me as we trooped into the house.

I nodded and handed over an envelope containing the contract Jasper had signed. Carlisle would file it away for safe-keeping.

"And things are going well then? Everyone is still...healthy?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes, Jasper's still human," I confirmed.

"And you have progressed in your intimacy?" Carlisle prodded.

I nodded, hoping he'd pry no further.

Carlisle nodded. "Well, if anyone could do it, it's you, Edward. I'm proud of you."

"Yeah, good job letting Jasper sign his life away then sit on you a few times," Rosalie muttered. "Well done."

"Rosalie, enough," Carlisle admonished her.

Alice looked puzzled though. "Why don't you turn him already? How long do you think this can last with him as a human?"

Carlisle shot her a warning glance, and I caught my sisters simultaneously rolling their eyes.

"C'mon Rosalie, let's have some girl time," Alice suggested.

Rosalie nodded and allowed Alice to lead her to her bedroom.

"Connect Four?" Emmett suggested.

I nodded and we headed into the family room. Emmett and I sat around our coffee table with the classic game, adapted for our use by fusing nine game boards together to allow for extended playing time.

Carlisle sat down nearby with the newspaper and Esme curled up next to him with a book.

It was quiet. Emmett hemmed and hawed a bit as he decided how to play his pieces, and books and newspaper pages were flipped periodically, but that was it. Definitely too quiet.

Which is why I definitely wasn't surprised when shortly thereafter, everyone started talking at once.

"Ass-fucking is fucking phenomenal, isn't it? Was I right or was I right? Oh, and dude, have you tried it yet in the reverse Dutch windmill position yet? That's where you hold Jasper upside down and..." I stopped listening to Emmett's explicit description after that. Esme was meanwhile inquiring about the depth of my love for Jasper, and Carlisle was fishing for details about how things were working in clinical terms.

"Okay, okay, stop!" I finally put my foot down. "Esme, I love him and he loves me. A lot. Even though he stayed home to write his paper, I still believe he would choose me over crumbling Babylonian stele if it really came down to it, and I don't want to hear any suggestions to the contrary."

I looked at Carlisle. "Carlisle, yes, as you imagine, I'm the one who has to top, so, yes, my penicular shaft has entered his rectal canal or whatever you were asking. It has done so repeatedly, in fact. And yes, I've located his prostate and despite the cold temperature of my flesh, it doesn't numb him as you suggest, but rather makes him scream my name. Also repeatedly. So I will continue to do both as often as Jasper lets me. So you can write that down in your journal for the good of scientists and physicians everywhere. Anything else?"

Carlisle had the decency to look chagrined, so I turned to Emmett. "Emmett, no we haven't tried that windmill position yet or the one where I hold Jasper around my waist and balance him against the wall while flexing my hips so that I can again, make him scream my name, but even if we had, I don't think it is necessary to tell you despite the fact that you donated condoms to our cause. Though if you have any others you want to contribute, just let me know because we're almost out."

I paused to breath before continuing to address the issues my sisters were discussing upstairs over nail polish. "Alice, I haven't turned him yet because I don't want to kill him, and besides that, his scent is fucking amazing and he's all warm, like the electric blanket you use, except that mine smells perfect, comes when I call, and _comes_ when I _call, _got it? And Rosalie, I'm sorry that you hate Jasper because he prefers me to you but he's gay and you don't have a penis, though you're certainly acting like a dick, so you're just going to have to deal with that because he's going to be with me for a long, long, long time."

I stood up from the floor where I'd been sitting with Emmett. "Emmett, I don't need to be a mind-reader to know that I'll win our game in six turns when you're inevitably trapped because you'll be unable to block the piece I'll place in the fifth column from the right, four spaces from the bottom, so I'm going to head out now because even if Jasper doesn't want to be with me, I can surely find something better to do then be grilled, hated, or frowned upon by my various family members."

I huffed and headed for the front door.

Esme beat me to the front door, blocking my path, but it was Rosalie who spoke first. "Edward, wait."

I turned to look at her coming down the stairs. "That's not why I hate Jasper," she said softly.

Esme led me back to the sofa, where I sat down next to her. "I think it's time we all talk," she suggested as Alice and Rosalie followed us and sat down nearby. "We aren't, as a species, good at change. But like it or not—and I personally love it—change has come to our family," Esme said, looking at us each in turn while she put a comforting hand on my arm. "And we take care of our family."

After receiving nods from each of us, Esme continued. "Good. Now, let's figure this out, because next time Edward's mate walks through our front door, I want each of us to be accepting, or even better, genuinely loving. Now, who wants to start?"

_

* * *

_

_A/N: This outtake was dreamed up with the help of friends many chapters ago, but I've had to wait until now to post. Oh, and dear god, I hope you don't mind a little crackfic. Wait, what am I saying? Of course you don't mind. You've read 20+ chapters of Said and Done... ;)_

_To give you a sense of when this occurred, this scene takes place the night after Jasper puts his finger _right there_, but the day before Jasper bit his lip for Edward._

Edward knew something was amiss before he even entered his dorm. Jasper was supposed to be studying at Edward's place until he arrived home after class. But Edward could sense it; Jasper wasn't doing homework. He could hear no turning of textbook pages, no scratch of pencil or highlighter upon paper. In fact, what it actually sounded like to Edward was...well, not studying, that's for sure.

Plus, there were other signs. Edward smelled that Jasper had finished off the last of the blueberry muffins; but that was fine, of course. That's who they were there for. But his senses told him that there were other things that had been moved or changed in his dorm room as well. In fact, it smelled an awful lot like... well, anyway, it was clear that Jasper was up to something, he realized. Edward hurried up to his room as fast as he dared.

Jasper didn't hear him coming, but then, he didn't need to. Edward was rarely late, so Jasper knew that his boyfriend would be home from class in about four minutes. And that was exactly the amount of time Jasper needed to finish gathering his supplies and strip down to surprise Edward.

What Jasper didn't take into account, however, was Edward's hurry to get home and figure out what he was up to. Which is why, when Edward burst into his suite only 2 minutes and 37 seconds later, Jasper was still seated on Edward's bed, surrounded by piles of what could only be referred to as a very thorough historical archive of hook and loop fasteners, or to put it simply, Edward's vast Velcro collection.

"I, uh, well..." Jasper looked up guiltily.

"I see you found my Velcro," Edward said rather flatly in response.

"Well, I was studying and I dropped my highlighter and it rolled under the bed," Jasper explained, sure he was in the right, but still uncomfortable under Edward's gaze. "So I went after it, and saw the box..."

"You mean the box labeled 'For Edward's eyes only'?" Edward asked.

"Uh, yeah, that one," Jasper admitted.

Edward humphed.

"Well, it's not like it is a big deal. It's just Velcro," Jasper pointed out.

"_Not_ a big deal?" Edward asked, dumbfounded. "_Just _Velcro_? _Do you have any _idea_ what you're holding? That cotton bit beneath your knee? That's a sample from the original prototype. And that strip you're sitting on? The one made of glass and acrylic? That's been _in space _thanks to a little deal I cut with NASA. In _outer space, _Jasper. I'm pretty sure none of the pieces in your baseball card collection have been to space."

Jasper stared at Edward dumbfounded and wondered if all vampires were so strangely attached to fasteners.

"I'm sorry..." Jasper trailed off, wondering how he could have gone so wrong, his visions for their afternoon activity fading fast. He started to put the items back in the box, which was boldly marked with the word "FRAGILE" on every side.

"It's fine," Edward huffed. "Just be careful with those orange pieces. Orange Velcro is _very_ rare."

Jasper nodded. "Okay. I just thought that... well..."

Edward raised an eyebrow.

"Well, if you have some that isn't quite so rare, perhaps we could... use it," he mumbled.

"Use it?" Edward scoffed. "Everyone uses it. But they never pay attention to it. It's a small miracle, deceiving in its simplicity, yet no one ever even notices..."

Jasper bit his lip and tried to keep a straight face. "I suppose that's true."

Edward, pleased by the fact that Jasper was respecting the 'cro, realized again, at this moment, that he had the best boyfriend in the history of human-vampire relations.

"So, how did you want to use it?" Edward asked eventually. "Did you need some for your shoes? Or perhaps you'd like me to modify your coat?"

"Uh, no, that isn't _exactly_ what I had in mind..." Jasper responded.

Edward raised an eyebrow.

"Do you trust me?" Jasper asked after a moment. "If so, I need several long pieces. The stronger the better."

It was only when Edward returned with the pieces and Jasper commanded him to strip and sit on the bed, that Edward started to realize exactly what Jasper had in mind.

Edward was completely hard by the time Jasper cuffed his right hand to the headboard with the Velcro strips. He was whimpering audibly by the time the left was also strapped in place.

"Now Edward, how many hooks are holding you in place?" Jasper asked, once he had finished.

"4,314" Edward answered promptly.

"Great. So, let's pretend that those four thousand hooks are enough to keep you bound to the bed, okay?" Jasper said, taking a moment to appreciate his handiwork.

Edward gulped and nodded.

Jasper, however, wasn't done. He had more than Velcro planned for his vampire. "I'll be right back," he said, heading to the kitchen. "_Don't_ move."

Meanwhile, Edward, unaccustomed to feeling out of control, squirmed as he lay on the bed with his hands immobilized above him.

But if poor Edward thought he was turned on by the feel of the Velcro binding his wrists, he practically turned inside out when Jasper returned with a jar of blueberry pie filling.

"Jasper, what are you doing?" Edward said—no, squeaked—at Jasper. Edward's voice, Jasper had long ago realized, often became higher in pitch when he was incredibly turned on. This was one of those times.

"What does it look like?" Jasper responded, waggling his eyebrows, as he peeled off his t-shirt, and then opened the jar.

The aroma of sweetened berries instantly filled the room.

After setting the lid on the nearby nightstand, Jasper slowly put one finger into the blueberry filling, then removed it and put on quite the show of licking it off for Edward. And he may or may not have purposely left a bit of the dark red fruit juice stain the corner of his mouth in the process.

It took everything Edward had not to tear himself free from the headboard and tackle Jasper in that moment; only his respect for the Velcro kept him in check.

Jasper, pleased with Edward's self-discipline, decided to reward him.

He climbed onto the bed with Edward. As sorry as he was to cover Edward's perfect cock, Jasper understood the need for safety, and so quickly put a condom on his boyfriend before proceeding further.

Further, of course, included dribbling bits of pie filling across Edward's chest and then licking it off. More than once. It also included pressing his berry-stained lip to Edward's neck and leaving beautiful red prints on his ivory skin. And it included painting on Edward's abdomen a large arrow pointing toward Edward's cock and then writing a sloppy rendition of the word "mine" beside it in the deep purple fruit. (Jasper dotted the "i" with a single berry.)

What it did not include was a kiss. While Edward panted and strained and groaned, Jasper just teased him further by not allowing Edward to taste his mouth.

When Jasper suddenly got up from the bed after removing all traces of Edward's arrow with his tongue, Edward could only assume Jasper was going to the kitchen to find some additional device with which to torture him. Jasper was not, however. He simply needed a drink of milk after licking all of the sweet pie filling off his vampire lover. (Jasper liked the term "vampire lover," thinking it terribly erotic.)

Upon his return, Jasper took one look at the desperation in Edward's eyes, and decided to have mercy on him. It was not a difficult decision for Jasper, as this meant a chance to sit on his lap with Edward's cock buried deep in his ass. No, not a difficult decision at all...

Edward swallowed heavily as he watched Jasper prepare himself for Edward with the lubricant he had picked up from Walgreen's. (He was still upset with CVS after the drugstore proved to have a less than adequate supply of gay vampire-friendly Valentine's Day cards.)

Once ready, Jasper climbed onto Edward and slowly sank down onto him. Once his body had acclimated, Jasper reached for the nightstand where he scooped up a bit of the blueberry filling from the jar he'd left there, and painted Edward's lips with it.

Only then did Jasper finally kiss Edward, allowing the blueberry filling to color their kisses and coat their tongues as their mouths pressed together hungrily.

The two began to rock together, Jasper moving over Edward in a rhythm that drove them both mad as they kissed, and sucked and nipped (well, Jasper nipped, anyway) at lips and jaws and shoulders.

It was the desperation in Edward's eyes that finally caused Jasper to finally give him permission to free himself. "Okay, Edward," he sighed. "Go ahead."

Edward gave a strangled cry as he instantly tore free from the Velcro binding. One hand went immediately to Jasper's cock, which he began stroking. The other,went to the small of Jasper's back, providing support and pulling him close. It was in this position that Jasper and Edward brought each other to their blueberry-tinted climaxes a few minutes later.

Afterward, Jasper would apologize for mashing blueberries into Edward's bedspread, and Edward would apologize for getting pie filling in Jasper's ear though of course neither of them were remotely sorry for the sticky sweet loving.

_P.S. Edward ordered additional Velcro off the Internet later that night to have on hand. You know, just in case..._


	23. Chapter 23: Risk vs Reward

**Said and done**

**Chapter 23: Risk vs. Reward**

_A/N: So, yes, there's been a delay since the last chapter. I apologize. Though I expect no additional delays before this story concludes, do know that if/when one is likely, I'll post a note on my profile. And I'm on Twitter as well, so you can always look me up there for updates. (I'm ICMezzo there too.)_

_I haven't been completely MIA for the last six weeks. I did post a SaD outtake "Said and Wept Not" for ArcadianMaggie's birthday. (If you haven't read her fic "I Wept Not," you should!) I also wrote a cracky little vampfic called "Observations of a Virginal Vampire," and a little Christmas one-shot, "Silent Night," which is also vamp-slash, but completely different in just about every other way. You can find the links to all of these stories under my profile. _

_In addition, I'm taking part in the slashy round robin fic, "Big Gay Story." Thirty slash authors will each be writing a chapter. Follow the story on The Slashtastics author profile (www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2632680/)._

_Now, welcome to all of my new readers, and to everyone who has been reading along for the past 20+ chapters, thank you so, so much for reading and reviewing and alerting and tweeting and reccing and favoriting and loving this story. Every single one of you make me smile and I wanna just hug you so damn hard and my heart gets all bursty-like. I know this isn't an important fic; it's not going to open minds or teach important truths about our world today. But I also believe that without the promise of a little laughter, I'm not sure I want to crawl out of bed in the morning to do all that important learning and growing and changing that needs to be done. Anyway, I have so much fun with these characters, and it pleases me to no end that you're all along for the ride. And yes; I am delighted to know that you'll never look at blueberries or Velcro the same way ever again._

_The song for this chapter is "Such Great Heights," by The Postal Service. It is available at: www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=hMOkfI7wCrI or just click the link in my profile._

_Many thanks to Theladyingrey42 and Yogagal for prereading this chapter for me and to TwilightMundi for betaing. And __I__ should thank all three of them for epic handholding._

_Stephenie Meyer owns everything you recognize. Rated M for mature themes and slash._

* * *

After spending the day with my family, I hurried back to Jasper as quickly as I could. I just hoped he had completed his paper in my absence. I was desperate to reconnect with him after our day apart and it would be less than satisfactory if his nose was buried in a book while I did so.

I drove as fast as I dared, faster than Jasper would have approved. The rotation of the tires over the rough highway created a rhythm that seemed to chant "wall sex, wall sex, wall sex" the entire way. By the time I arrived back on campus, I was more than a little worked up.

Luckily, when I arrived at his suite, his laptop was turned off—an excellent sign that his paper was indeed finished. But the frown on his face and crease on his forehead let me know that not all was well in his world.

"Hey, what's the matter?" I asked, when he looked up to greet me.

"Oh, nothing, I'm just studying and I'm having trouble memorizing the Mesopotamian rulers," he said, motioning toward his textbook, a frazzled look in his eye. "My exam isn't until Tuesday, but I really won't have much time to study tomorrow night."

"How can I help?" I asked, thinking. "I could help you write a song to remember them? That worked with the Persian dynasties."

"No," Jasper pouted. "No more songs. I'll just start confusing them."

I sat on the bed next to him, figuring that intimacy I'd been envisioning during my car trip was out of the question until I cheered him up. "How about a mnemonic device? As in, the early dynastic period could be..." I paused for a moment to think over the letters: GMEEUL.

"How about Gorgeous, Manly Edward Eats Unlucky Lions?" I suggested. "You'd just have to remember the E's are alphabetical."

He smiled. "That could work. And the third dynasty of Ur could be... um... USASI... um... Undead Sex And Sucking Is... um... I'm out of letters," he laughed.

"Well that makes sense. Because clearly, it's indescribable anyway," I offered, placing a quick kiss on the top of his head, as he chuckled.

"More like I've simply forgotten how to describe it accurately because it has been almost nine hours since we've done it," he grinned.

"Need a little reminder?" I offered.

"It might be time for a study break," he acknowledged.

I pulled off my shirt and stepped out of my shoes. "Perfect. Then, if you don't mind getting undressed, I'd like to introduce you to that wall over there."

"I think you should do it," he grinned, moving to the edge of the bed and lifting his hands over his head. "You need to work for it a little bit."

Instantly, I was beside him, peeling his shirt over his head, revealing the torso that made me wild.

I breathed in his scent. I knew it hadn't been long since I'd last been with Jasper—not even a full day—but it seemed like forever.

"I'm never ever going to get over the way you smell," I told him, the fragrance going straight to my groin.

He smiled. "Even if at some point I don't smell like blood any more?"

"Especially then," I replied, tucking my nose into his neck and breathing deeply, as he hummed in soft pleasure.

"You know what I'll never get over?" he asked me.

I shook my head, which was still tucked against his shoulder.

"The way you taste," he told me. "Better than blueberries," he winked.

I looked up and captured his mouth with mine.

"Your mouth, your skin, you, everywhere. Your taste makes me crazy," he said after a moment, punctuating his words with kisses along my shoulder and neck.

So Jasper liked the way I tasted. Interesting, I thought as I watched him tug on his jeans.

While he was otherwise engaged with his pants, I licked my lips to see what the fuss was about, but in my opinion, I didn't taste like anything much. Quickly, I brought my palm up to my mouth and licked it. Still nothing. I tried my shoulder, but that was nothing special either.

I looked back at Jasper, wondering if he felt like elaborating on exactly what I tasted like, but saw him watching me with a grin.

"Are you tasting yourself?" he laughed.

"No, I am... ugh, yes, fine. I was," I admitted, rolling my eyes. "But I don't get it. I don't taste anything special."

"Well, you sort of have weird ideas about what tastes good." He pretended to shudder. "Anyway, stop. That's my job."

I tried to bite back a smile as I unfastened my own pants and slid them to the floor.

"Lie down," I told Jasper, giving him a playful shove toward the bed, while I gathered the necessary supplies to protect and prepare him.

He did so, leaning back on his arms so he could watch me.

I climbed on the bed with him. I started by dragging my tongue up his leg, from his knee to his inner thigh. I repeated the journey on his other leg, pressing kisses along my path. When I reached his upper thigh, I saw him twitch and couldn't hold back a growl.

I was so hungry for him, I had trouble restraining myself. I hastened my way up to his cock. If there was a better destination, I couldn't think of one. I licked him quickly and watched him tremble, before taking him in my mouth.

Jasper hissed as I ran my tongue along his length, moving over him, sucking and licking him with a sort of desperation. I considered it a victory of sorts when his arms gave out soon after and he fell back onto the bed, his hands over his head. My human was gorgeous.

I licked him again and listened as he sucked in air, his heart beating wildly in his chest. I took him back in my mouth and swallowed around him until he was moaning beautifully for me.

As soon as I judged him ready, I prepared him until he was relaxed and waiting for me, then quickly donned a condom myself.

Once he was comfortable and I could move in him, I shifted him in my embrace until I could slowly stand up while supporting his weight in my arms.

Still connected, I carried him across the room until I could gently lean his back against the wall.

"Jasper, meet the wall. Wall, this is Jasper," I grinned. "I think the wall is enjoying the view."

But Jasper just shifted slightly in my arms. "Enough with the pleasantries? Will you fuck me now?"

Who was I to say no? Smirking, I started rolling my hips slightly.

"Yesss," he groaned. "Fuck."

I took that as confirmation I could increase my movements. I thrust harder into Jasper and was rewarded with a slew of perfect obscenities. Soon I was using his weight to move him against me.

Considering he felt light as a feather to me, I was certain that wall sex was definitely a nice addition to our repertoire.

Until he started laughing, anyway.

I froze at his unexpected reaction. "What?"

He laughed harder. "I just realized I'm caught between a vampire and a hard place."

I raised an eyebrow. "Are you kidding me? You're thinking of clichés right now?"

"What can I say? Clearly, you've fucked me stupid," he grinned.

"Clearly," I agreed, before I started to fuck him as hard as I dared, determined to erase any and all platitudes from his mind.

It was his last coherent sentence for a good long while.

**XXXXX**

"We've been invited to spend spring break at my parents'," I told Jasper as we curled up in his bed later that night. We'd have next week off, and I expected Jasper would want to get away from campus for a few days after the stress of midterms.

"Oh?" He craned his neck to look at me.

"We don't have to," I said quickly. "If you wanted to do something more exciting..."

I couldn't exactly dash off to any old beach with him. No amount of sunblock would keep me from sparkling like some sort of over-sized Christmas tree ornament, and I wasn't exactly eager to try to wear Alice's coverup again. But if Jasper wanted to take a trip, there were surely places we could go with a little more cloud cover.

"No, I don't need to go anywhere more exciting. In fact, your family will provide plenty of that, anyway. But...are you sure it's okay? Will anyone be there?" he asked.

"Everyone will be there, in fact. They want to get to know you," I replied, explaining that Emmett and Rose would also be home on their own spring break and that Alice had decided to take a long weekend to visit Forks as well so they could spend time with us.

"Rosalie wants to get to know me?" Jasper sounded skeptical.

"Yes," I answered truthfully. "She just doesn't understand us yet."

After the heated conversation amongst my family members earlier that afternoon, she'd agreed to at least try. She was still convinced that Jasper must be either stupid, crazy, or desperate for immortality, but she was willing to spend time with us. I was certain in doing so she'd see for herself he was simply willing to risk his life for love.

I stayed silent while Jasper mulled the offer over.

"And you're sure I won't be in the way?" he asked after a moment.

"Positive," I told him.

"Okay," he agreed. "I think that sounds nice."

"Good," I said, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

**XXXXX**

I was contemplating whether to invest in the company that sold Trojan condoms—I imagined our heavy usage of their product was at least partially responsible for the company's recent profit increases and rising stocks—when I heard Jasper come home one afternoon.

"Hey Jasper!" I called to the other room, where I heard him taking off his coat. "Guess what? I think our rising stocks are causing rising stocks!" I snickered.

But I quickly stopped when he came into the room and I saw that he had his cell phone pressed to his ear and was waving me off.

"I'll be off in two minutes," he mouthed.

I nodded and tried not to listen in. Well, I nodded anyway. But then, Jasper was longer than two minutes, so I felt it balanced out.

A full 14 minutes later, Jasper came back in the room.

"Who was that?" I asked, trying to sound casual. I hadn't recognized the voice.

"An old friend from back home in East Texas," he replied, starting to pull out gym clothes from his drawers.

"Oh?" I asked. "I see. Well. You were laughing an awful lot if it was just an old friend."

"Uh, well, I guess I was laughing. I haven't talked to him in awhile so it was good to catch up," he said, as he started to change. "I'm gonna go for a run, wanna come?"

I ignored his offer. "I see. Another man. A Texan. Great. Everything's bigger down there. So tell me, Jasper. Is_ he_ bigger down there?" I asked, mostly teasing.

Jasper looked up from where he was tying his sneakers. "Oh my god, Edward. I have no idea. He's just a friend. You're ridiculous. I swear, you're jealous of my coffee sometimes!"

"Well, it gets to warm you and touch your lips," I pouted.

Jasper came over and tilted my chin up to him so he could kiss me lightly on the lips. "You're crazy. I'm yours. I'm so, so, _so yours_."

"Sure. Then why'd you need to talk to Mr. Texas? Is he hot? Is it the cowboy thing? I can pretend to be a cowboy, if you want," I offered, only partially kidding. I was certain I could get a cowboy hat and maybe some chaps rush delivered from some online store. I was sure if I Googled it, I could find something. I'd have a little more trouble with the accent, but I'd figure something out.

I practiced mentally:_  
Y'all.  
__Y'all, darlin'.  
__Howdy darlin's, can I top off all y'all's sweet tea?_

Dammit, why hadn't I spent any time in Texas? I'd had a century, but noooo. Carlisle had to insist on cold, cloudy climates. Little good that did me. Jasper didn't have a thing for Eskimos.

"No, I promise. You being a gay vampire is plenty. I really don't need you to be a gay cowboy vampire," Jasper assured me, trying not to laugh. "Really, we were just catching up, I promise. I haven't seen him in years. He was telling me about his life, and what's he's been up to. He's a poet, actually. Writes erotic limericks. Anyway, I was telling him about you. I mean, not the vampire thing of course, but that I'd found you and that you make me happy. Besides, he's madly in love himself. Engaged and everything to his boyfriend. So really, please don't be jealous. It would be a waste of time."

"I don't exactly lack for time," I teased, mollified, as I followed him out of the bedroom toward the front door.

"Don't lock this," he reminded me as he opened it to leave. "I'm not taking my key."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you don't come back in an hour, I'm going to assume you've taken off for Texas and I'm going to start selling off your possessions on eBay," I told him, nodding. "Too bad I won't get much for those boring history books of yours..."

He laughed from the doorway. "Nice, Edward. Oh, and I hope you don't mind. We exchanged a few sex tips," he added, before winking and dashing out the door.

I gasped. "Jasper! You can't discuss sex with other men!"

I just heard him cackling in response as he headed off down the hallway.

**XXXXX**

Jasper sighed and shut his textbook. "Well, I'm as ready as I'll ever be."

I looked up at him from the book I was reading. "You're ready. You'll do fine."

"I hope so," he said getting up from his desk and shoving his books and notebooks into his backpack. His last midterm was the next day. The day after, we'd be heading to Forks for a week of vacation.

I watched and listened as he headed into the bathroom to brush his teeth and get ready for bed.

"What are you going to do while I'm taking my final tomorrow?" he asked when he returned to his bedroom.

"I'll probably practice a bit," I told him. "I have my graduate recital the week we get back."

"You don't practice a lot considering how close that is," Jasper commented.

I shrugged. "I have better things to do," I smirked. "Like you."

He rolled his eyes. "I mean it. I mean, it's your final recital. Don't you care?"

"Honestly, not really. I can go to school and give a graduate recital a hundred more times if I want to. I'd rather be with you," I told him honestly.

"School means so little to you," he mused as he started getting undressed for bed.

I frowned. Honestly, I'd have quit school entirely months ago if I hadn't thought I'd end up driving Jasper crazy hanging around all the time. Plus, I liked my on-campus apartment because it meant I was always close by. But it didn't seem Jasper would welcome this information. What he was studying was important to him. I'd forgotten how much so.

I tried to explain. "Jasper, it's your first time in graduate school, your first Master's degree, so it makes sense that it means a lot to you. But it's not for me. I don't think about it much, honestly. It's just something to do, like reading a book. Of course I want to give a good recital, but it isn't as though I need to work at memorizing music like humans do. As long as I run through the music once or twice it will be fine. Everything beyond that is just unnecessarily keeping me from spending time with you."

"It must be nice to not have to work at learning things or being perfect," he murmured.

I raised an eyebrow, quickly stripping off my own clothes and climbing under the covers. "It must be nice to be alive."

"Sure. But you have to admit, it has its drawbacks," he said with a smile.

"Oh?" I replied, curiously. "Do tell."

"Well, sex would be better. We wouldn't have to worry about your venom or strength," he said as he climbed into bed with me. "And I'd always be ready to go again and I'd never be too sore or tired."

I started to laugh. "You'd give up your humanity so we could have more sex?"

"Well, I'm mostly kidding, but you have to admit I'm holding us back," he replied with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

I pulled him to me. "Don't be ridiculous. You are everything I could ever need and far more than I deserve."

Jasper rested his chin on my chest. "So you say."

I kissed the top of his head and relaxed into the rhythm of Jasper's heartbeat.

After a few minutes, Jasper turned his head and started placing open-mouthed kisses up and down my chest.

"Jasper?" I said, interrupting him when I felt myself start to respond to his ministrations.

"Hmm?" he hummed in response, but continued tracing his lips along my skin.

"Don't," I told him.

"Don't?" he asked, looking up, confused.

I shook my head. "You have a test tomorrow, we shouldn't. You need your sleep."

He eyed me warily. "We do this every night and I've had midterms all week. What's up? You never turn down sex."

I averted my eyes. "I'm not in the mood."

Suddenly Jasper sat up in bed. "Spill. What's going on?"

I rolled over. As tempted as I was, I needed to think with my head and not my..._head. _

"Nothing. I just think you need your sleep," I told him.

"No, I need to have this conversation," he said to my back.

"Fine," I humphed, and turned back to face him. "School is important to you. I want you to graduate in a few weeks because it matters for you. I should have paid more attention to that. I don't want to do anything to take that away from you, to jeopardize it."

"Why would sex jeoardi—ooooh," he said, realizing what I meant. "Look, we're taking precautions, we're being safe. In fact, I think we're getting pretty damn good at it."

"No. It's too risky. I think..." I cringed and took a deep breath so I could spit out my next words. "I think...I think we shouldn't have any more sex until you graduate because that's the only way we can be sure and, I mean, I can maybe still give you very careful hand jobs, and perhaps a blow job on special occasions—like days that end in "y" for example—and maybe, just _maybe_ we could masturbate together in the same room if we were at least five feet apart, because I measured once, and I think that's as far as I can...um...shoot, but my penis has to be otherwise off limits until you and I graduate because I as much as I can't stand going more than 2.28 days without being buried in you, the thought of you not achieving your dreams because of me is more than I could live with and—"

Jasper clamped his hand over my mouth, and I tried not to whimper at my own suggestion.

"No. Fucking. Way." he said. "We're _going _to have sex many, _many _times prior to graduation. We'll be fine. In fact, my guess is we'll be a hell of a lot better than just 'fine'."

"But what if we're not?" I asked. "We've been ignoring how utterly dangerous it is. It would take so very little..."

"That's what the contract is for," Jasper said pointedly. "We've gone over this. If something happened, you would change me."

"Jasper, think about what you're saying. You don't want to become callous like me. I want you to enjoy all of your human experiences. Are you really ready to give up everything to be with me? Graduation is just the beginning. Are you ready to say goodbye to everyone you know? Cousins, aunts, classmates, professors, old friends from Texas... Because you're going to have to do so, and you'll never forget that pain. Are you ready to not care about anything besides ourselves and blood? Because that's what it is like."

"Bullshit," he said. "You care about your family. About music, when you let yourself. You have things you love to do, like composing and reading and spending time outside, and you get excited about things like Velcro—though, seriously, I'll never understand what that's all about. Your life is full, and mine will be too, whether I'm a human or a vampire."

I looked at him doubtfully.

"Seriously," he repeated. "You're right, I'm excited to finish off the semester and get my degree and move on to whatever is next in my life after that. But mostly, I want to be with you. And even if that means I have to change a little at some point, I'm okay with that. And I'll still be able to call and e-mail my friends for many, many years."

He kissed me and smiled. "Now, relax, okay? I'm not going to jump on you if you're not feeling it. We don't have to have sex tonight. But we are _not_ waiting until graduation to do so. That'd kill us both."

I nodded solemnly. "And that's saying a lot considering I'm already dead."

Jasper grinned, and lay back down, pulling the covers up around him. "Okay, Mr. Vampire. Kiss me goodnight, will you? I need my beauty sleep."

I chuckled and kissed his eyelids closed.

**XXXXX**

I fondly watched Jasper as he napped after his last mid-term. He was already asleep when I arrived at his place that afternoon, so I'd stripped to my underwear and climbed into bed with him without a word, content to observe him resting.

I was the luckiest man, the luckiest vampire, the luckiest anyone anywhere to have somehow gained the love of my Jasper. Nothing I could do would make me ever deserve him, though I'd never give up trying. I'd bake for him until the world ran out of blueberries if he'd let me.

I gazed at his sleeping form, and let his warmth wash over me. His cheeks were slightly flushed, his lips parted a touch and his hair was a complete mess against the pillow case. I was more than 98% certain I'd never seen him look more gorgeous.

I heard Jasper's breathing pattern change slightly, and knew he was waking up.

Sure enough, a minute later, I watched as he stretched his arms and legs and yawned slowly.

His eyes met mine and he blinked a few times. "Is this what it will be like?" His voice was colored by sleep, but he sounded relaxed and happy.

"Is this what _what _will be like?" I asked.

"When I'm like you, and don't care about things like studying and writing my thesis and exams. Will it feel like this? Relaxed and easy and as though we don't have a care in the world?" he said, with a lazy smile.

I laughed and brushed hair out of his eyes. I think I was going to like the spring break version of Jasper. "Well, you won't be waking up from many naps, I'll tell you that much. And as for everything else, it's not as easy as you seem to think, but in general, we do have more free time on our hands."

He hummed and wrapped himself around me. "More time on our hands, hmm?"

I felt his warm breath tease my flesh. "Yes," I murmured, pulling him tight against me. "Plenty of time for...whatever."

"Is that what the kids are calling it these days?" he teased, licking his lips.

"Don't ask me," I told him, trying to keep a straight face. "I'm 109."

He laughed. "You don't look a day over—"

I interrupted him with a hungry kiss.

He shifted and rolled himself so he was over top of me and ground his hips against me, making me groan at the contact.

"You like that, old man?" Jasper teased.

I growled and twisted my hands in his hair, pulling him toward me for another kiss. I couldn't think of a better way to quiet his teasing.

Jasper reached down between us to my rapidly hardening length, which he palmed through my boxer briefs.

But before I could gasp out a warning for him to be careful, he had already released me and shifted to reach over to the nightstand for supplies. Once he had what we needed in hand, he knelt beside me and slowly pulled off my underwear.

I reached to take the condom from him, but he shook his head. "I want to do it."

"Be care—" I started to say, but again, he shook his head, silencing me.

He quickly tore open the wrapper and grasped the base of my cock, handling me carefully until he had my length covered safely in latex. Once he had done so, he dribbled a bit of lubricant on his hand and started stroking me.

"Oh god!" I gasped as he began to move his fist around me. The heat of his flesh on my sensitive skin was alternatively completely overwhelming and then nowhere near enough.

He teased my head with his thumb, before stroking me faster.

"Ugh, Jasper, plea—"

The words hadn't even left my mouth and he'd already released me, deliciously increasing my torment simply because I knew what was to come.

I propped myself up on my elbows to watch as he peeled off his own underwear, but when I reached for his cock, he batted my hand away. Instead, he knelt next to me and started stroking himself with his hand. "Just watch," he whispered.

I could only whimper my acquiescence.

Hot, unbelievably hot. Fucking unbelievably, impossibly hot. I couldn't tear my eyes away as he pleasured himself. And then I watched as he prepared himself for me.

And just when I thought I would burst, he stopped and climbed on top of me, grasping my length and aligning it just so. I cried out as he sank down on me, eventually coming to rest against my hips. Then he bent down and gave me the kiss I didn't even know I needed.

Every inch, every thrust, every touch, each was perfect.

I watched the sweat glisten against his skin, and breathed in his deep fragrance. I reached for him, and held on as tightly as I dared to his hips as Jasper moved over me, taking his gaze off mine only when he threw his head back and moaned in heated pleasure.

And then Jasper stilled above me, breathing heavily.

"Tired?" I asked.

"No," he replied, looking at me. "But your eyes, I can see you still... want something more?"

I pulled him down so he rested his chest on mine. I wrapped my arms around him and felt his heartbeat pounding against my chest. "You've given me everything. What else could I want?"

"This. You wanted _this,_" he murmured, running his hand over my cheek. "I should have known. You always need to be touching as much as possible."

I mulled this over as Jasper climbed off me and sank to his knees. "Behind me."

As I scrambled to take my place, I realized he was right. He'd understood I wanted to feel his body against mine, to feel his heat, the press of his skin against mine as I took him.

I entered him again carefully from behind, both of us on our knees, and reached down to wrap my arms around him to embrace him from behind, pulling him up so his back was against my chest.

And then, as close as we could possibly be, I moved in him.

He clung to my arms wrapped tightly around him as I took everything he gave me, craning his head to capture my mouth with his.

When I felt myself getting close, I began stroking him as I chased our mutual orgasms.

Jasper came, trembling in my arms, and I followed soon after, clasped tightly to him, as though he was the only thing that could hold me to the earth.

And I knew that Jasper not only gave me everything—things I didn't even know I needed—but he was my everything. I'd gone a century not knowing I needed him. And I'd gone every day since never understanding the extent to which I did. I wondered if I'd ever fully comprehend the degree to which every frozen cell in my body found completion in his. And as improbable as it was, it seemed as though his flesh found the same in me. I was the luckiest fool in the world.

I felt like I should tell Jasper, or give him something to show him how important he was to me, I thought as I eventually got up and went to the bathroom to clean up.

I briefly wondered if Hallmark made a card expressing such a sentiment, but then as I was getting back to the bedroom, I reconsidered, seeing as I hadn't had very much luck in the past in terms of greeting cards. I guess I'd just have to give him a really good blowjob or two instead, I smirked. I could only assume he'd like that.

"When you're done gloating about how you just gave me a mind-blowing orgasm, would you mind coming back to bed?" Jasper asked.

"Mind blowing, huh?" I replied.

He rolled his eyes. "Please don't start in on your 'I think I'm a sex-god disguised as a vampire' theory again..."

I grinned. "Fine. Whatever. Even if Carlisle agrees with you that it's impossible, I still think there's enough evidence to clearly demonstrate—"

But I couldn't exactly finish my sentence with Jasper tackling me and shoving a pillow over my face.

* * *

_A/N: While I thought about describing exactly what Edward found online when he started Googling terms like "what do gay cowboys wear" and "Chaps for me and my gay boyfriend," I actually felt it was a bit more important to share a different scene with you instead. Sometimes I think it is easy for Jasper—and us readers—to forget about some of the more instinctual parts of Edward's existence. While this scene didn't quite fit into any of the existing chapters, I thought I'd include it here as an outtake to give you another glimpse into Edward and Jasper's current life together. _

Edward refused to meet Jasper's eyes. He would not give in to his begging. There was just no possible way Edward could see taking Jasper with him when he hunted.

"But, Edward!" Jasper whined.

"No. No, no, no." Edward stood firm. There was no way. "Absolutely not."

"Why not?" Jasper asked petulantly. Jasper felt he was missing out. After all, Edward got to watch him eat on a daily basis and judging by the number of hard-ons Edward got during mealtimes, it was a pleasant experience.

Meanwhile Edward studied Jasper, puzzled. Had Jasper not gotten enough sleep? Was his blood sugar low? Was his current crankiness due to a hormonal imbalance or perhaps because he hadn't taken his vitamins? Edward was certain everything seemed to be in order, but then, why was Jasper so whiny?

Giving up, Edward returned to the question at hand. "Because I said so," he replied, not wishing to go into details.

"But why? At least give me a good reason," Jasper pouted.

"Because I'll accidentally drink you, that's why," Edward said.

Edward gave this as a reason for almost anything new and different that Jasper proposed, from getting a pet turtle to having sex on Edward's kitchen counter, which is why Jasper brushed it off immediately. After all, Edward hadn't drunk him yet.

"Fine," Jasper said. "But we're not having sex again until I see you hunt."

Edward rolled his eyes. Jasper threatened to withhold sex as often as Edward threatened to drink him. Theirs was a healthy relationship.

"Look, logistically there's no way it would work even if safety weren't an issue," Edward explained. "I have to run extremely quickly to catch prey. How exactly are you going to keep up? And I can't exactly kill something to bring it back to you and then feed, because it'll get cold and start to congeal and quite frankly, vampires are all about hot and pulsing, okay?"

Jasper smirked. Yes, Edward was certainly all about hot and pulsing and...

But as much as Jasper loved to spend time with his mind in the gutter, he needed to think of a way to make a joint hunting expedition work. "Well, we could be quiet so you could sneak up on something so you wouldn't have to chase it?" Jasper suggested.

Edward scrunched up his nose in a way that would have been highly unattractive on just about anyone else. "I could sneak up, but you can't. They'll smell you coming."

Edward's mind also being prone to spending time in the gutter, the vampire was momentarily distracted by the thought of exactly how delicious Jasper smelled when coming. This gave Jasper additional time to think.

"What if you caught something but didn't kill it before you brought it back to me? Or you could carry me on your back as you chase the animal!" Jasper stepped behind Edward and ground against him. "I'll even do this as you run," he offered, attempting to sweeten the deal.

Edward whimpered. There was nothing like the thought of Jasper's delectable junk pressing against his ass to make him throw caution to the wind. He struggled to recall why this was such a bad idea.

Oh, right. Because he didn't want to kill Jasper. Dammit. That was a pretty compelling reason, he had to admit.

Edward sighed. He would have to turn down the offer to sprint with Jasper's hot, throbbing erection grinding mercilessly against his bare ass. He bit back a moan just thinking about it.

Admittedly, Edward wasn't sure when or why he lost his pants and underwear during the hunting trip he was currently imagining—that had only actually happened one time and unsurprisingly, Emmett had been involved. But sure enough, in the images flashing through Edward's mind, both he and Jasper were surprisingly naked considering the cold temperatures at the higher altitudes on Mt Rainier.

Edward felt Jasper's hot breath on the back of his neck, where Jasper stood pressed against him. Well, maybe they could try it, Edward thought. In fact, there had to be a way, he decided as Jasper licked and nibbled at his ear. There just had to be.

Edward was not particularly good at fending off Jasper when he wanted something, and Jasper knew it. It wasn't that Jasper was manipulative, it was just that he knew he could get Edward to open his mind a bit when his overachieving brain was at least partially focused on matters such as blow jobs or fucking. Well, actually, it was completely manipulative. But Jasper was okay with that.

So Jasper reached around Edward's torso from behind him so that he could press one hand against Edward's chest while with the other, he reached to stroke Edward through his pants.

"Well, I suppose I could capture an—oh god, Jasper, do that again—capture an animal but not kill it and then—Fucking hell, Jasper, more, please, more—bring it back to you and drink it there," Edward said.

"Excellent!" Jasper replied, removing his hands from Edward and heading across the room towards his desk. "Well, then, I should get my homework done so we can go before dark."

Edward gaped at Jasper and the sudden loss of contact. Had Jasper used sex to get what he wanted? (He had.)

After teasing Edward for a few seconds by pretending to study, Jasper looked up, grinned and motioned for Edward to come over to the desk. Jasper then made a great show of sweeping his arms across the surface of his desk to clear it of items (Edward caught his laptop before it hit the ground), stepping out of his jeans and boxers, and pulling off his t-shirt and tossing it to the wayside before sitting on top of the now empty workspace.

Edward, needing no further encouragement, tore off his own clothing and stepped between Jasper's legs, where, after Edward reaffirmed that they would indeed go hunting the next day, they made out and gave each other hand jobs until Jasper had to leave to meet with his thesis advisor.

For the record, Jasper's thesis advisor suggested Jasper take some Tylenol and perhaps a nap, because he was still so flushed during their appointment that Jasper's professor assumed he was running a high fever.

What Jasper's advisor did not suggest was a day trip to the cold frozen wilderness north of Seattle during which he would go hunting with a vampire. But of course, that's exactly what Jasper did bright and early the next morning.

When Jasper and Edward parked at the entrance to the national park, Jasper donned the backpack full of supplies Edward had prepared, and jumped on Edward's back for a piggyback ride deep into the forest.

Much to Edward's secret dismay, Jasper kept his pants on for the ride, though at least he was wearing track pants instead of jeans. And Jasper kept his promise and engaged in some moderate grinding against Edward's butt. But the situation also made Edward wish he'd also worn something a little less restrictive than denim himself, as running with a massive hard-on was more than a little uncomfortable.

Edward sighed. For a vampire, sometimes he really didn't think things through very well.

Once they were far out of range of the highway and any hikers and close to a herd of deer he had located, Edward put Jasper down and had him open up the backpack. Jasper squatted on the ground and started pulling out the items inside: a blanket in case Jasper got cold, some blueberry banana bread in case he got hungry, some tequila in case he couldn't handle the events of the day sober, some moist towelettes if he got dirty, and a small bottle of diet coke for Edward.

Yes, Edward_._

In fact, before Jasper had time to realize what was happening, Edward grabbed the soda, popped it open and splashed it all over Jasper's hands, arms, neck, and face...

Once finished, Edward looked at the sputtering Jasper, who was trying to wipe the fizzy drink out of his eyes. "It's for your own good," he said, shrugging. "At least I chose diet so you wouldn't get all sticky."

"Why the hell did you just do that?" Jasper demanded, trying to look menacing despite the Coke running down his cheek.

"So I don't drink you," Edward replied calmly as he prepared to chase down his prey by stretching out his hamstrings against a nearby tree. "It is for your protection."

Jasper reached for the disposable wash clothes to clean himself off, but Edward snagged the towelettes and tucked them into his pocket before he could do so, causing Jasper to glare intently at him.

"Look, a long time ago, I... I had to drink a Coke. It was _not _a pleasant experience," Edward explained, shuddering. "Just the smell of it..."

Edward worked to control his gag reflex as he recalled the experience. "I'm just hoping that if you smell a little like Coke, it'll be a little easier to not drink you. Anyway, this was all your idea, so if you don't want to wear soda, we can leave now?" Edward was still somewhat hopeful Jasper would call the whole thing off.

But Jasper just nodded and tried not to shiver. If this is what it took, he could live with some Coke in his hair. He grabbed the blanket, wrapped it around himself, and sat down on a nearby rock. "Well then, have at it," he urged Edward. "I hear the deer calling your name."

"Jasper, deer can't talk—" Edward started to tell him, as he checked that his shoes were securely velcroed.

"Go!" Jasper ordered, rolling his eyes.

Edward did.

Jasper wasn't sure how much time he'd have to wait until Edward returned, but he didn't have to wonder for very long. He hadn't waited more than two or three minutes when off in the distance he saw Edward peeking around the side of a large rock with an understandably horrified deer slung around his neck.

"Jasper?" Edward called out in a strangled voice, trying desperately to maintain control over his head in the presence of immediately available blood. "Don't make any sudden moves okay?"

Jasper gulped at the sound of Edward's strained request, wondering if this had been such a good idea after all. Jasper's pulse rose dramatically at the thought, which only made matters worse for the struggling Edward, who slowly approached with measured steps and rigid stance, both of which were in stark contrast with the wild look in his black eyes.

When Edward was about 50 feet away, he stopped. "Is this close enough? Can you see?" he asked.

He was relieved when Jasper's response was affirmative. Edward's instinct and his heart were at war and he worried that he would lose the battle if he had to move even a few more inches closer to Jasper.

Edward breathed in cautiously, the scent of the deer combining with that of Jasper and his Coke-covered flesh. He then carefully set the deer down in front of him and he held it in place.

Edward tried to ignore the flutter of the doe's heart while he gave himself a pep talk. He could do this.

For Jasper.

Edward's throat exploded in fire at the thought of his delectable human. He quickly recognized that it was best not to think of him and his delicious red blood cells...that sweet, hot blood, pulsing through his throbbing heart.

Best not to think of that at all, Edward realized.

Best not to.

The deer smelled completely unappetizing to Edward in such proximity to Jasper. Edward realized he no longer had any interest whatsoever in drinking it.

He wanted Jasper. He always wanted Jasper. He only wanted Jasper's blood, not some off-putting doe.

Edward had been a fool to think a little Diet Coke would help.

Edward looked back and forth between the terrified deer and a deliciously trembling Jasper.

What was a vampire to do?

Jasper sat on his rock unmoving as he watched Edward struggle. He was starting to wonder what he'd been thinking to put Edward in this position. The vampire looked completely tortured and it was all Jasper's fault.

And then Jasper realized he had to stop Edward's pain before it irreparably damaged both of them. He had to manipulate Edward into thinking about something other than blood.

Edward stood motionless as he watched Jasper climb off his rock and stand beside it. "What are you doing, Jasper?" he hissed. "I really need you to stop moving now."

Jasper responded by dropping the blanket at his feet. He then unzipped his coat and let that fall to the wayside. His Seahawks sweatshirt soon followed.

"Stop! What are you doing?" Edward cried, his torment reaching new unexpected heights.

Jasper didn't stop. He untucked his undershirt and peeled it off his skin. Goosebumps covered his flesh.

"Jasper, for the love of god, Jasper!" Edward cried. "Stop! You need to stop."

Jasper ignored him and slid his pants down to his ankles.

He then held Edward's gaze across the frozen earth as he slowly lowered his underwear. He prayed the lure of his body would be enough.

Jasper's body was cold and trembling, weak, soft, and pale. But Jasper was Edward's. Jasper understood his physical form wasn't much in that moment, but he had to hope it was enough to bring back his lover.

"Jasper..." Edward whispered across the space, shaking his head as though to clear it.

"Jasper, I can't..." Edward breathed. Edward couldn't drink the deer with Jasper so close. But nor could he drink the shivering human before him. He held tight to the knowledge that the naked body before him was his to protect and to love, not to feed off.

"I know, and that's okay," Jasper answered. He should never have made Edward do this. It was wrong of him to cause Edward such anguish to satisfy his curiosity.

"Why don't you let the deer go?" Jasper suggested as lightly as he could.

Edward glanced at the animal in his hands. "But...you wanted to see..."

"I know. I was wrong. Let her go," he said softly.

Edward mechanically released the deer, as Jasper requested. But...now there was nothing to drink but Jasper. Edward swallowed the venom pooling in his mouth, wetting his burning throat.

Meanwhile, Jasper stood trembling. "I love you," Jasper breathed.

Edward closed his eyes and breathed heavily, and slowly stalked in Jasper's direction.

"I love you," Jasper said again. "With my whole heart."

Edward hesitated slightly.

"I love you," Jasper spoke, louder this time. "Forever, I love you."

Edward watched him.

"I _love_ you," Jasper repeated. "I love you. I _love_ you, I love you, _I love you_."

Edward gave a strangled cry from his position a few feet from Jasper's beating heart.

"I love you," Jasper tried again. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked you to do this. It'll be okay though. We'll get through it. We always do. I love you. And you love me."

Edward squeezed his eyes shut. "I love you...your blood," he panted.

"What else?" Jasper prodded. "What else do you love about me?"

"I love your heart," Edward growled.

Jasper nodded.

"Your warmth. Your smell," Edward continued, his voice tight.

"And?" Jasper urged.

"I love your... skin. And your face and your feet and your hair and your calves and your eyes." Edward breathed, eager to keep going now that he was on a roll. "And your goosebumps and...your mind. I love your mind. And your chest and your...special parts."

Edward blinked, his mind coming back to him as the scent of the deer faded from his mind and the presence of his lover before him calmed him.

"I'm cold," Jasper said.

"I'm sorry," Edward replied.

"I'm sorry too," Jasper answered.

They stared at each other for a few moments. Eventually, Edward stepped toward Jasper, and knelt before him. Edward gently placed light kisses on Jasper's hip as he pulled Jasper's underwear back up over him and put his pants back on. He next located Jasper's t-shirt, which he pulled back over his head, his lips tracing down over Jasper's chest as the shirt fell over his torso. The sweatshirt came with kisses to Jasper's wrists, and once Edward put Jasper's coat back on him, he pressed his lips to Jasper's eyelids.

Edward reached down for the blanket at Jasper's feet, but as he was standing to wrap it around him, Jasper collapsed into Edward's arms, the stress and exhaustion and relief overwhelming his physical form. So the blanket was pulled around the two of them as Edward held Jasper in his arms, providing rock-solid support to the body that he treasured in many ways—not just for its perfect heart, though that was an excellent place to start.


	24. Chapter 24: Break

**Said and done**

**Chapter 24: Break**

_A/N: Happy New Year to you! _

_Thank you for all of your kind words, thoughts, and everything else you sent my way throughout the past few months as I've dealt with health issues. I am happy to report that treatment was successful, and barring any changes, by this time next month I'll be considered cured. While I sincerely wanted to kick/punch/maul people who informed me I was "lucky" to have had "a good kind" of cancer, I do recognize that I am lucky that treatment existed that could take care of things quickly and completely. _

_So join me in a toast, will you? A happy, healthy New Year to you and yours. Cheers!_

_Endless thanks and giant hugs to TwilightMundi for betaing, and to Theladyingrey42 and Missyfits for pre-reading. Thanks for going above and beyond, girls. 3_

_The song for this chapter is "Sun Hands," by Local Natives. It is available at: www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=pn8xjONVOUg or just click the link in my profile._

_Stephenie Meyer owns everything you recognize. Rated M for mature themes and slash._

_Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. _

* * *

Early Saturday morning, the first full day of our week-long spring break, Jasper and I pulled up in front of my family's house in Forks.

"And you're sure I won't be in the way? They _really _don't mind I've come with you? Even Rosalie?" Jasper asked before we got out of the car.

"Positive," I confirmed.

"And will they be okay with the fact that I want to spend most of my break with your lips around my cock?" he teased before giving me a quick peck on the cheek and hopping out of the car.

"Uh, Jasper, you might want to keep in mind that vampires have excellent hearing," I groaned as I heard several snickers and one loud guffaw emerge from the house.

Jasper grimaced. "They heard that?"

"They certainly did," I confirmed as we headed toward the front door with our bags.

Esme opened the front door and ushered us inside. "Welcome, Jasper," she smiled, and hugged him before hugging me as well.

Emmett appeared behind Esme. "Jasper, you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

But before I could jump in to save him, he shot back. "No, I kiss Edward though. Everywhere."

"Nice," Emmett grinned as I cringed.

"Sorry, Esme." I apologized, though I was a bit glad Jasper was willing to take on Emmett.

She laughed. "I'm just glad to know you're getting plenty of kisses, dear. Now, give me your coats. I think we're going to have a fun week."

After introducing Jasper to Rosalie and Alice, I dropped our bags off in my bedroom then showed Jasper around the house. He had reminded me during the car ride that it had been months since he'd visited, and the last time he hadn't made it past the living room. Once the tour was complete, we returned to my bedroom so Jasper could relax for a few minutes.

He plopped down on my brand new four-poster bed, which I examined for the first time since I'd picked it out via the Internet. Esme and Carlisle had assembled it so it would be ready for our arrival. Alice had helped choose the sheets and blankets, and the greens and grays she picked were both masculine and complimentary to Jasper's coloring, so they were more than fine with me. The wooden frame I'd chosen was made of pine, of course. I liked the idea of making love to Jasper with the hint of the scent of evergreen in the background.

"How does it feel? Do you like it?" I asked, sitting down next to him.

He collapsed backward and faked a few snores. "It's fantastic. I can't wait to break it in."

"My poor virginal bed, losing its innocence so soon," I shook my head solemnly.

Jasper shrugged. "So we'll start off on the floor. Or the desk. Or against the window."

"It's a good thing we have all week," I winked, before bending over to kiss him senseless.

**XXXXX**

Alice knocked on my door 23 minutes into our impromptu make-out session. "Uh, guys? Want to come downstairs? We wanna spend some time with you..."

I groaned and climbed off Jasper just as she barged in. "Now?"

"Yes, now," she replied.

I tore my gaze from Jasper's flushed cheeks and swollen lips to glance at Alice. "Five more minutes?"

"Two," she answered.

"Three," I haggled.

"Two minutes and fifteen seconds...and not a moment more," she said, turning to leave. "Oh, and Edward? Make sure Jasper is fully dressed when you come down?" She suggested with a pointed look towards Jasper's unzipped pants before she closed the door behind her.

**XXXXX**

Two minutes and thirteen seconds later, his winky safely tucked back into his pants, Jasper and I headed downstairs.

"So, what's the plan?" I asked as we entered. "Did you guys want to do something together?"

The problem seemed to be deciding what that might be. Emmett wanted to hike since it was a relatively nice day outside, but Rosalie wasn't thrilled at taking a walk at human speed, though she did seem to be warming up to Jasper in that she seemed legitimately concerned it might be too cold out for him. Of course, she followed that up by muttering something about Jasper obviously liking it cold if he hung out with vampires.

Esme suggested playing board games or watching a movie, but the general consensus was that those were better nighttime or rainy day activities.

Alice came up with the idea that seemed to have some merit. She'd played a number of icebreakers at one of her college orientations a few years back and thought a few of the games were funny, and since everyone seemed to want to get to know Jasper, it seemed like a reasonable activity. So Alice ran around and gathered a few supplies and herded us out into the family room.

Unfortunately, when she began handing out toilet paper rolls and expecting people to write personal information on each of the sheets, family members began to protest. And when I recognized that she'd distributed both of the rolls of toilet paper we kept in the house as props, I put a halt to the game.

"Human, remember?" I'd pointed to Jasper, who looked a bit embarrassed but gratefully snagged a roll and hugged it to his chest.

So eventually at Emmett's insistence, we settled on a good ol' fashioned game of "Truth or Dare."

It was...enlightening, I suppose. After all, I'd never known that Esme liked being a vampire because it meant she didn't have to shave her legs anymore or deal with blisters from high heels. And Emmett had never told me that he once sneaked into a Red Cross blood bank after hours to "see what all the fuss was about" and then couldn't get himself to leave until people started showing up for work the next morning. But I was less thrilled to learn Rosalie wasn't wearing any underwear, that Carlisle had no fewer than 236 patients grope him inappropriately over the years and then blame it on painkillers, and that Jasper had previously gone to third base with a girl.

As for the dares, they were just silly. I had no interest in swallowing 12 cotton balls, or witnessing Carlisle wearing Esme's wrap dress, or watching Emmett push a penny around a toilet seat with his tongue. And I was especially furious when Jasper was dared to kiss each person to see who the best and worst kissers were. Luckily, he convinced Emmett to let him pick truth instead... Suddenly confessing that his favorite movie was actually "Aladdin" didn't seem so bad. He even sang "A Whole New World" with Alice for my family.

The game ended when Alice asked Jasper why he wanted to become a vampire and Jasper calmly explained in the most beautiful words I'd ever heard that it wasn't that he wanted to be a vampire, but that he wanted to be with me and that he loved me enough that he was willing to deal with everything that came with it. I knew then that whatever came our way, we would be together, and it would be more than I ever dared to hope for.

Though I had eyes only for Jasper, I couldn't help but notice all of the other couples looking at each other with sweet smiles as he responded. After that, my family members were eager to end the game and couple off. Though Alice decided to catch up on some projects for her classes.

I held Jasper's hand as we left the family room and went up the stairs, held his lips once we got to my bedroom, and his beautiful cock as we made love beneath the blankets. I knew my constant touch would drive Jasper crazy soon enough, but as long as he would let me, I never wanted to let go.

_**XXXXX**_

After a quick dinner for Jasper in the kitchen, and a quick hand job for me in the bedroom, Jasper and I changed into comfortable clothes before settling in to watch a movie with my family.

We wore our favorite pajamas: lounge pants—green for me, gray for Jasper—and the t-shirts Jasper originally had printed for us as a joke, but we'd worn them so frequently around the house and under other clothes that they'd become perfectly soft and broken in. Mine boldly proclaimed, "Vampires do it in the dark. All. Night. Long."

His read, "Archaeologists like it dirty." However, I have to say that while I'd used his shirt's message in multiple attempts to get him to fool around while we were out running, he didn't seem to believe that a slogan and my desire to get laid was reason enough for him to get covered in mud. Liking it dirty, indeed.

Once Jasper topped his ensemble with a hoodie, we trooped downstairs, snagged the loveseat before any other family members could and snuggled up under a blanket. Soon enough everyone else joined us.

Emmett started the movie once everyone had gathered. He said he chose it because a full 71% of us watching would appreciate the eye candy.

I groaned when I realized what he'd picked. _300_.

117 minutes of abs, abs, and more abs. Between Jasper curled up on my lap and all the scantily clad men proudly brandishing their spears, I wondered if it was even possible I could make it through the end of the film without taking Jasper in the middle of the living room floor.

Jasper, however, actually clapped when he realized what we were watching. Period pieces with historical costumes and plots even loosely based on actual events were his favorite junk food. It made me wonder if he might one day appreciate it if I dressed up in a little loincloth and chased him around the woods. I'd have to see if I could find a good shield and helmet I could order off the Internet one day soon. Maybe for Jasper's birthday.

Or mine. Just the thought of tracking him through the forest, capturing him, and having my way with him made me shift in my seat. I gulped and tried to calm myself down.

Jasper, unaware of my problem, turned and whispered in my ear, "This is Sparta!" before nibbling on my earlobe and then giggling in excitement. But between his teeth and his breath washing over me, I was only marginally successful in biting back a groan.

"Teenagers," Carlisle rolled his eyes. "Do you boys need to be excused?"

Wide eyed, Jasper shook his head and bit his lip and settled back into my lap, his ass now firmly pressed to my erection.

This was going to be the longest two hours of my long life. Then again, it wouldn't be the worst either, I realized happily as Gerard Butler's muscles showed up on the screen for the first time.

After the flick, I was so worked up, I scooped up Jasper and ran back to my room with him in my arms. We were naked and buried beneath the covers before the credits finished rolling.

**XXXXX**

The next morning, after Jasper was fed and watered, it was time that I took care of a little thirst-quenching myself; it had been a little longer than I was comfortable with, but I'd been holding out until I could return to Forks, preferring the more diverse wildlife available there to the limited supply available in Seattle and it's immediate environs.

Emmett eagerly offered to accompany me on my trip, though the rest of my family was content to remain at home. As I pulled on my favorite running shoes, I heard Esme gathering everyone else together for some card games. She'd even managed to coax Jasper into playing, even though he'd originally said he'd be happy to simply read for a few hours in my room.

Once he convinced me he'd be fine, and I made sure my family remembered to keep coffee and snacks flowing for him, I kissed him goodbye and Emmett and I took off, running deep into the nearby forest.

After we'd run a few miles, Emmett finally spoke. "So...Jasper seems nice."

"Yes, I think I'll keep him," I smirked. Nice. What an understatement.

Emmett nodded but didn't say anything else for another mile or so. As we were rounding the top of a small hill, he cleared his throat. "I...uh...I had a question for you."

"Sure...What's up?" I asked.

"Well, this is purely hypothetical," he finally said after some hesitation.

"Okaaaaay," I prodded.

"Well, let's say...hypothetically...that I had a friend... that had a girlfriend..."

"Emmett, just spit it out," I suggested.

He took a deep breath. "You know what, never mind. There are some deer to the north. We can talk later."

I raised an eyebrow. "You hate deer. Let's keep going. I could deal with a nice mountain lion and I'm sure we can find some nice bear for you."

"Right, sure, okay..." he agreed and we picked up our pace and headed to the south.

Seventeen minutes later, Emmett broke the silence that had settled upon us. "So, hypothetically, let's say I had a girlfriend who um, wanted to, um, try something."

"Like what?" I asked, puzzled.

"Well, let's say she wanted to um...use...um...well, a...um...a strap on," he mumbled. "Hypothetically."

"Oh! You mean the one that arrived via Fed Ex overnight air earlier this morning?" I asked.

He gaped at me.

"Someone had to sign for it, and you and Rosalie were still in your room. Plus, I recognized the return address as your favorite toy store... I hope they give you discounts with the amount you order. And then I may have shaken the box a few times to try to guess what you'd purchased," I explained.

He narrowed his eyes. "You could tell from shaking the box?"

"No, I asked Rosalie while you were in the shower. She said you had been begging her to try it, so she had a steel one specially made," I admitted. "Hypothetically."

"Oh, right." He coughed.

"So... you had a question?" I grinned, more than a little pleased that Emmett was asking _me_ for sex advice. My, my, my, how the tides had turned. Beautiful irony, it was. Simply beautiful.

"Oh, wipe that stupidass smirk off your face," Emmett said after glancing at me.

I laughed. "So, what can I do for you, Emmett?"

"Well, I was just wondering... if we were going to try it...because, you know, Rosalie wanted to, well how exactly do you uh...I mean...fuck. Isn't it gonna hurt?"

"Oh, Emmett. You have so very much to learn," I grinned and started to explain all that Jasper and I had learned. Hypothetically.

**XXXXX**

"Well, your family isn't _so_ bad," Jasper commented as he sat on my lap later that afternoon in the privacy of my bedroom.

I quirked an eyebrow. "Yes, they are," I replied, pulling him to me so he could get comfortable.

Jasper grinned. "Okay, they're a bit much. But in a really good way."

"I know." I smiled and started walking my fingers up the leg of Jasper's jeans.

He groaned. "You're insatiable."

"Yup," I confirmed, as my hand continued to explore his outer thigh. "A regular monster."

"_My_ monster," he murmured, tilting my head up for a kiss.

"So it went okay this morning?" I asked.

"Yeah, actually, it was fine. We played Uno for a while," he said. "And other than Rosalie slapping me with every possible 'Draw four' she could get her hands on, it was civil. Fun even. And then afterward Carlisle showed me some of his old maps and some other historical records he had stored up in his office, which made for some excellent reading material."

I laughed. "Just something light to read over spring break, huh? You're absolutely amazing. I love you," I whispered, dragging my hand to his inner thigh.

"I love you more," he replied, shifting deliciously on my lap. "More than I ever imagined possib—"

But Jasper was interrupted by the sound of Emmett pretending to vomit repeatedly on the other side of my closed door.

I sighed. "If you don't want to listen, Emmett, don't stand outside the door."

"Dude, I was sent up here to tell you we're all heading out for a while because none of us can stand listening to you two go at it again," Emmett explained once he stopped his faux retching. "Jasper's _loud_. And you, brother dearest, are even louder."

Jasper gaped at me. "They've heard us?"

"Well, yes. But don't let that bother you. I've had to listen to them for decades," I replied.

"Yeah, sorry, Jasper. Impossible not to. Especially with the way your loverboy, or should I say monster, carries on," Emmett called from the hallway before raising his voice an octave and proceeding with what had to be the worst impression ever. "Oh, Jasper, just like that, Jasper, oh, Jasper! You're so warm, Jasper, oh! Oh! Oh! Jasper you're even better than Velcro! Oh Jasper, oh! You're so tight! Oh, yes, Jasper! Oh, Jasper, that was amazing, can we do it again? Oh, Jasper!"

"Emmett! Unless you plan on joining them for a threeway, I'd suggest you get your ass down here so we can leave!" Rosalie yelled from downstairs.

"Sorry, boys, gotta go. My woman calls! We'll be back later!" Emmett called as he headed off toward the stairs.

I listened for the front door to slam closed behind them as they headed off into the forest. Of course, it was hard to hear with Jasper laughing.

"What?" I huffed.

"Nothin'. Emmett's just funny," he said between cackles.

I humphed and tried to keep a straight face as he turned all red and continued laughing, which caused him to wiggle more than little in my lap. "Well, you should hear yourself, with your 'Oh, fuck yeah, more, fuck, oh yes! Yes!' "

Jasper stopped laughing and looked at me. "That's kinda hot actually."

I sighed. "Yeah, it's totally hot when you do it, too."

He laughed and climbed off me and sauntered over to my no-longer-virginal bed. He wiggled his butt at me as he did so.

I sighed. And stared. And developed a sudden craving to bite his ass, even though it was nowhere near a large artery.

It didn't help when Jasper bent over to untie his shoes.

I whimpered, of course, as I was wont to do when Jasper teased me mercilessly by doing things like removing footwear or picking up a dropped pencil.

Jasper stood up and peeked over his shoulder. "Like that? You should see this," he teased, before waggling his eyebrows and starting to imitate the soundtrack to a low-quality mid-1990s pornographic film while slowly removing his sweater.

"Bah-dah-dah-dah dah. Uh-uh-uh, uh-uh-uh, uh-uh-uh. Bah-dah-dah dah..."

He clung to my bedpost as he undressed, eventually pausing shirtless to grind against the post.

After spending a few moments in this position, he spun around the post once, before pressing against it from a different angle. And that's when he gave up with his song and began over-enunciating typical adult film star utterances, including, but not limited to, "I want you to fuck me with your thick, hard, sparkly cock."

I snorted when he broke character with the last adjective, but otherwise, it was hard not to be increasingly turned on as he dry-humped the wooden bedpost. After all, I knew from experience just how good it felt to grind against some nice pine.

Jasper then stepped away to unzip his jeans and let them fall low on his hips. He started singing again, punctuating his downbeats with pelvic thrusts and throwing in a bit of syncopated ass-shaking.

He then hooked his thumbs through his belt loops and teasingly shimmied them down to the floor before stepping out of them and then carefully folding them and his sweater into a perfectly tidy little pile lined up with the corner of my dresser.

"Cuz if it's not a right angle, it's a wrong angle, right Edward?" he winked.

"Fuck, yes." I groaned. God, he was hot.

He then resumed his erotic show, naked but for a lovely pair of navy underwear. As Jasper became more caught up in his act, in between time spent grinding against the post, his moves became increasingly athletic. He stood with one hand on the pole while bending backwards so he could place his other hand on the floor and slide up and down slightly by arching his hips.

Jasper was in rare form.

Eventually he hoisted himself up and slowly peeled off his underwear before dancing over to within a few feet of me. But he darted back when I reached out to him. __

"Not yet," he scolded. "I'm having too much fun with your _pole_."

I moaned shamelessly as he turned to climb on the bed. He stood on the corner closest to me, braced himself on the bedpost with one hand and dragged his other down his body until he reached his erection, which he started lazily stroking.

And then he gave me permission to do more than stare.

"Wanna help?" he smirked.

I nodded vigorously in response.

"You'd better come here then," he replied, hanging off the straining bedpost to curl his finger toward me.

Without further thought, I hurtled myself toward the bed to tackle Jasper.

As I did so, he swung back a bit on the pole, so I naturally changed direction to accommodate for his shift. But my leap was ever so slightly off-balance due to the late change. Perhaps it was the fault of the lusty haze that had fogged up my brain, or the weight of my supremely engorged member that threw me off. It was hard to tell, because all I could be concerned about was the fact that Jasper was tossed into the air when I smashed into the bedpost, which splintered and cracked and fell uselessly to the floor.

I caught Jasper just before he landed on the carpet, cushioning his fall in my arms.

He looked slightly dazed while I gently placed him on the bed after scanning the duvet for splinters, but after a few seconds he just started cracking up.

If I hadn't caught him myself, I would have been certain he'd hit his head.

I was checking him over when he sat up and surveyed the damage. "Oh, Edward, we broke your pole!" he exclaimed between fits of laughter.

"It doesn't matter." I rolled my eyes. "But how is yours? That's the only one that's precious to me. Are you okay?"

He nodded. "I'm completely fine," he said still chuckling.

"Really?" I asked skeptically.

"Yup," he confirmed.

I took his word for it and quickly tossed the broken post into the corner of the room, and smoothed out the rough edges of the wood where it had broken off the bed frame before joining him again on the bed.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"Don't be sorry," he replied, pulling me toward him for a kiss. "I got carried away."

"Cause I never get carried away," I said, raising an eyebrow. "So you're really okay?" I asked again.

"Definitely," he smiled. "Good catch."

"Well, I know you _say_ you're fine, but I think I'd better check you over. I know just where to start," I pronounced solemnly, before taking his cock in my hand and examining it carefully.

"Hmm, looks alright, everything seems to be functioning normally," I murmured as he hardened again under my gaze. "I'd just better check one more thing..."

I licked him quickly. "Perfect," I hummed. "I think you'll live."

"Well, as long as I taste okay..." he chuckled.

"I could check again, just to be really, really sure?" I suggested hopefully.

"That sounds like an excellent idea," he confirmed.

I took him in my mouth without delay. He didn't need to give me permission twice to suck his penis.

Bobbing up and down, I fisted the base of his cock when I focused my efforts on top. I slurped my tongue around his head, luxuriating in his taste.

"You know, I was pretty sure we'd break the bed, but that's definitely not how I expected it would happen." I paused a moment to point this out before diving back down, but I'm pretty sure Jasper never even heard me because he never stopped his moaning, and responded only by thrusting his hips up toward me.

I smiled as best as I could with Jasper in my mouth.

After working my way back down his shaft, I replaced my mouth with my hand so I could lightly lick and suck on his balls. They were my newest discovery and Jasper got quite a rise out of it himself. I traced them with my nose before tonguing them, all the while listening to Jasper pant and hiss in response to my efforts.

Standing up, I quickly shed my shirt and pants, and grabbed the lube and a condom from my overnight bag, then rejoined Jasper on my bed.

I lay down atop him, careful of my weight, but eager to press the length of my body to his. He responded by arching his hips up into mine as he kissed me hungrily.

Jasper dragged his teeth along my jawline and pulled me toward him. "I want you."

I nodded and shifted so I could work my way down his body and prepare him. After a brief detour, that involved putting a good deal of Jasper's cock in my mouth, I licked from his ass up to the head of his cock.

"Your finger," he commanded. "Please!"

"Oh, you want a little digital love?" I asked, wiggling my fingers at him before teasing his ass with my fingertip.

"Fuck, yes!" he groaned.

Grabbing the lube, I applied it as necessary with my fingers, and got him ready.

Then it was my turn. In a single move I may have practiced a few times while bored one Thursday evening in late March, I tore off my underwear with one hand, ripped open the foil packet of the condom with the other and had it placed over my cock before the last shreds of the material that had previously served as my undergarment hit the ground. Damn, I was good.

Unfortunately, Jasper missed my little performance because his eyes were shut as he lay breathing deeply with his mouth hanging open on the bed. And I hadn't even fucked him yet.

I wiped the smirk off my face before he opened his eyes, and returned to the bed, where I kissed Jasper's inner thighs and stroked him a few times.

"Ready?" I asked, as I knelt between his bent knees.

Even after he confirmed that he was, I had to pause to gather myself. It always took a moment to prepare mentally and emotionally for the act of joining with Jasper.

He was so vulnerable, so open. Warm and wanting. All flesh and sinew. So easily broken. But he trusted me and he needed me physically, just as I needed him.

I took a deep breath. I hoped I could always fulfill Jasper's every need. I would certainly try, though I knew Jasper well enough to be entirely certain he'd teach me when I screwed up.

Grabbing Jasper's side to ground myself, I guided myself into him slowly, amazed as always at the sight of his body accepting mine.

"Edward," he gasped as I stilled in him.

He bit his lip and reached for me, so I bent over him and wrapped him in my arms, kissing his lips, his cheek, his chin.

Once he relaxed enough, I began to move, gently at first, but quickly giving into the incredible hunger we both felt. Bracing myself on the bed over him, my hips found their rhythm as I thrust into him again and again, his hands pulling me, urging me for more, always more, always closer, always deeper as I angled my body to bring him as much pleasure as possible.

And kissing. Tongues and lips and teeth and always, always, kissing.

If there was an award for best kissing, we'd win it by a landslide. I considered whether it would be worth engaging Emmett and Rosalie in a formal contest. But before I could ask Jasper if he was interested, he started shifting below me and I realized his intent to change positions.

Caging Jasper in my arms, I turned us, rolling him atop me. He sat astride my hips, moaning as I entered him again. His hands planted on my chest, he began to move over me, sinking down repeatedly.

"Fuck!" I cried as his movements sent me spinning. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!"

I wondered if Jasper was close, because I personally wasn't going to be able to hold out much longer.

I reached for his cock and started stroking him as he rode me, rolling his hips, his body exquisitely enveloping mine.

Waves of pleasure washed over me as I felt my muscles begin to tense.

"Fuck, Edward, yes!" Jasper cried as I worked over his cock.

And then it was too much and I couldn't hold back any longer. I grasped his hips and held him to me so that I was buried as deeply as possible in him as I started coming. Feeding off my own reactions, Jasper followed mere moments after I did.

But I didn't have time to celebrate our achievement of the elusive mutual orgasm.

Because even while Jasper was still clenched around me, I knew there was a problem.

He must have known too, because the last words he panted before he began screaming in agony were "I love you. Forever."

My greatest fear realized, I cradled him in my arms, dry sobs wracking my body.

The condom had broken.

The damage was done; he would burn for our pleasure, change for our future. There was nothing I could do to take away his pain or save his human life.

But I could speed up the process.

"I love you," I whispered, placing my teeth against his neck. "Forever."

I kissed his throat and bit.

* * *

_A/N: Thank you so much for accompanying Edward, Jasper, and me on this journey. Epilogue to follow._


	25. Chapter 25: Epilogue

**Said and done**

**Chapter 25: Epilogue**

_A/N: Whew! I posted the very first chapter of Said and Done just over one year ago. It has been an unbelievable ride._

_So, this is the end of my story, but as you'll read below, it is not the end of theirs. There are some wonderfully ridiculous outtakes I have planned, but if you want to see something in particular, feel free to send me a message or find me on Twitter (there's a link on my profile page). I'll post outtakes as a separate story, so watch my profile or put me on author's alert if you want to receive an e-mail when they post. The first outtake, which I'll post in just a few days, is the much-requested tale of how Edward accidentally made Jasper cry over a banana in the supermarket, which was first referenced in chapter 21. So, that'll be up shortly. Fun times. :)_

_I have to say that I loved the diversity of your reviews from the last chapter. Some of you were stunned, others saw events coming a mile away. (Can't say Edward didn't warn you repeatedly that it was possible!) Some readers loved it, other readers...well, maybe not so much. I know many of you liked Jasper as a human. Nothing wrong with that; Edward really liked human Jasper too. :) But I do hope you could see that the boys were as prepared as they could be to face this possible outcome._

_Also, a more than a few reviewers were simply excited this meant Jasper would finally get to top, which I find absolutely hilarious. I mean, isn't what Jasper and Edward do in bed *their* business? __Yeah, I'm totally screwing with you. It's soooo our business. ;) _

_The song for this chapter is "Baptized by Fire," by Spinnerette. It is available at: www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=IKcS1_f9M5w or just click the link in my profile._

_Stephenie Meyer owns everything you recognize. Rated M for mature themes and slash._

* * *

_Jasper's toes.  
__Jasper's feet.  
__Jasper's ankles.  
__Jasper's calves.  
__Jasper's knees.  
__Jasper's thighs._

I skipped over the parts covered by the gym shorts I'd slipped onto Jasper for modesty's sake.

_Jasper's navel.  
__Jasper's abdomen.  
__Jasper's chest.  
__Jasper's heart.  
__Jasper's shoulders.  
__Jasper's arms.  
__Jasper's hands.  
__Jasper's neck.  
__Jasper's mouth.  
__Jasper's nose.  
__Jasper's eyes.  
__Jasper's hair._

Once I reached the very top of him, I reversed direction.

_Jasper's hair.  
__Jasper's eyes.  
__Jasper's nose.  
__Jasper's mouth.  
__Jasper's neck.  
__Jasper's shoulders.  
__Jasper's arms.  
__Jasper's hands._

I didn't dare tear my eyes away. I watched Jasper's flesh as it slowly became paler, and stared as, degree by degree, his body became more angular.

_Jasper's heart.  
__Jasper's chest.  
__Jasper's abdomen.  
__Jasper's navel._

Now the beginning of the third day, my eyes had made this journey 179,213 times as I sat with him, listening to his heart, holding his hand. Family members came and went from the room, as did regrets and fears. But also present was hope. And longing. And most of all, love.

_Jasper's thighs.  
__Jasper's knees.  
__Jasper's calves.  
__Jasper's feet.  
__Jasper's toes._

As I began again, I wondered what changes I'd see this time, the 179,214th time I'd scan his body.

All I knew is that each time, in ways almost imperceptible, he became even more beautiful.

_Jasper's toes.  
__Jasper's feet.  
__Jasper's calves.  
__Jasper's knees... ... ... _

**XXXXX**

I listened as Jasper's heart beat for the last time.

Suddenly, there was nothing but silence as Jasper lay motionless before me, his eyes shut tight, his hand still in mine.

Moments passed.

Nothing.

More nothing.

Seconds ticked by.

Nothing, nothing, oh my god, noth—

"Dude!" Jasper suddenly sat straight up and opened his eyes. "I bet that's what the people in Pompeii felt like when Vesuvius erupted and they were burned alive back in 79 CE!"

And thus, vampire Jasper was born.

**XXXXX**

Jasper looked up at the tall pine tree and raised an eyebrow. "Really?" he asked. "That's your fantasy? To have sex in a tree?"

I nodded. It was actually to do so in this particular tree, but he didn't need to know that. It had grown considerably since the last time I'd visited, but it was definitely the right one.

"Well then, off we go," he said, as he started to climb. I followed closely behind him to take advantage of the view. As he climbed, I heard him singing.

"Edward and Jasper, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes cum, then comes changing from vamp venom..."

I rolled my eyes. "Careful of that branch to the left, it's almost completely broken," I interrupted him. Having been responsible for that damage myself, I knew to avoid it.

"This okay?" Jasper asked, as he stopped a few branches higher and looked around. "Hey! You can see into the bedrooms of the house from up here. In fact, there's almost a perfect view of the bedroom I stayed in that last winter I was human."

He looked down at me and raised an eyebrow. "But I'm guessing you knew that?"

I shrugged. "Maybe."

He smirked. "What did you see?"

"Well, um...I watched you one night. You Googled me. And you were only wearing your underwear at the time," I admitted. "But I only did it once, I promise. Are you mad?"

Jasper laughed. "Nah. But I'll tell you what, most nights I did more than Googling when I was thinking of you. Too bad; it's kinda hot to think you might have been watching."

"Well, um, that guest bedroom you stayed in is vacant right now," I pointed out. "And what good is being a vampire if you can't sneak into people's homes to masturbate next to an open window so your vampire lover can get off on it once in awhile?"

He chuckled. "I thought you wanted to bend me over a branch and take me high up in a pine tree?"

I thought for a second. "We can save that for another day. We have plenty of time."

He thought for a moment. "What the hell? Why not?"

He grinned, and started to head back down the tree. "Enjoy the show," he winked as he jumped the rest of the way to the ground and took off toward the house.

I wondered if, four years later, the pillow still smelled like my human Jasper.

**XXXXX**

I clapped like crazy when Jasper's name was called. He rolled his eyes at me, but smiled as he walked across the stage to accept his diploma.

Even though he'd wanted to skip the ceremony altogether, I insisted we attend. I had taken one graduation ceremony away from him when he was turned and couldn't return to classes right away. I never wanted him to miss another.

Though he'd gotten several other degrees since his change, this was only his second doctorate, and I knew he was proud of it. The novelty would probably wear off for him eventually, as it had for the rest of us. But for now, if degrees made him happy, I'd support him 98.4%.

The other, more selfish 1.6% of my mind simply hoped he'd want to do nothing but have incredibly amazing sex repeatedly for the rest of time.

**XXXXX**

Emmett looked up from his magazine. "Don't you just love it when Jasper sucks on your balls?"

I looked up from my book in alarm and realized he was serious. "You're reading _Sports Illustrated_ magazine and thinking about what Jasper and I do in bed?"

Carlisle coughed behind his newspaper. "Not just in bed."

I winced. That one time Carlisle had stumbled upon us out in the backyard had been a bit awkward.

"No," Emmett said, oblivious, as he flipped the page of his magazine's special swimsuit issue. "I'm thinking about how fucking amazing it is when Rosalie does it. But I figured Jasper must do it too."

"Oh, well, it's none of your business," I replied. "So go back to reading about balls because I don't feel like talking about them with you."

"Never mind then. I just thought maybe we could compare notes," Emmett shrugged and turned back to his magazine.

But then Carlisle spoke up. "Well, I thoroughly enjoy it. It makes sense, if you think about it; there are tons of nerves down there. The posterior scrotal nerves, for example—"

"I can't do this," I announced, getting up from my spot on the floor, suddenly wishing I'd accompanied Esme, Rosalie, Alice, and Jasper to BestBuy instead of staying behind.

"You don't want to learn about the nervous structure in the male genital system?" Carlisle asked.

"I really, really don't," I told him, heading for the stairs to my bedroom.

But once I got to my room, I immediately booted up my laptop, of course. Just because I didn't want to talk about testicles with Carlisle, didn't mean I was going to turn down any information that might help me bring Jasper to greater heights of pleasure.

I was opening up my Internet browser when Carlisle called to me from downstairs. "Make sure you Google 'perineal nerve'. You'll get better results."

I sighed and closed my laptop. Was nothing sacred?

**XXXXX**

We lay together, cuddling after a particularly satisfying bout of sex, during which Jasper had literally fucked me so hard, I'd accidentally cracked the headboard with my elbow. At least now it sort of matched the one at the foot of the bed, which Jasper had dented last week.

Physically sated, my mind was safe to wander as I rested within Jasper's arms.

There was Esme's birthday to think of. Long gone were my solo piano works composed in her honor. Now she delighted in the duets she received at every holiday.

Years ago it had become tradition for Jasper and me to write something together for her. Usually the duets included Jasper singing and playing the guitar, whereas I'd join in on the piano and sing harmony only if absolutely necessary. Jasper, however, was no longer allowed to write the lyrics, the prohibition coming not long after he'd penned the lines "Naked on the beach of Esme's Isle, Rolling in the sand with daddy Carlisle, Making love to the tune of the waves and the wind, Celebrating each other as you kissed, sucked, and sinned," which he'd sung while playing the ukulele for her anniversary.

Apparently, while I loved Jasper's clever rhymes and delicious innuendo, Esme was not as much of a fan.

And then, of course, there was the matter of location. It would soon be time to move on yet again, as we'd been in Ithaca for several years now. Carlisle had suggested moving to Alaska, but Emmett and Rosalie had indicated they might live off by themselves for a year or two near Mt. Washington. Jasper and I had never lived separately from my family. I wondered what he thought of the option.

"Hey Jasper?" I asked, twisting to look at him. "Do you want to go to Alaska with Esme and Carlisle?"

He buried his nose in my neck. "I was just thinking about that."

"And?" I prompted.

He hesitated for a moment. "Well, I was kinda thinking it might be fun to travel a bit."

"Did you have somewhere specific in mind?" I asked.

"Well, I was thinking maybe Turkey? I'd love to spend some time at some of the archaeological sites, and there are a few ancient cities that are now underwater, so I was thinking those would be cool to investigate now that I don't need oxygen, ya know? And you might be interested in studying the local music?" he said.

I narrowed my eyes. "You just want to sit in the Turkish baths with all the mostly naked men, don't you?"

He laughed and kissed my shoulder. "You never change."

I sighed. "Alright. Turkey it is. It's pretty sunny there though. We might have to spend a lot of time inside," I pointed out.

"I don't think that will be a problem," he said in a low voice, running his finger up my spine. "I can think of plenty of ways to keep occupied."

I shivered a bit under his skilled touch. "In that case, how soon can you be packed?" I asked, suddenly looking forward to our next adventure.

**XXXXX**

Jasper and I were running through the woods, hunting along the Allagash River in northern Maine late one autumn afternoon.

"Moose and squirrel?" I teased.

Jasper scrunched up his nose. He hated moose. "Let's head south further and see what we find?"

I easily agreed. Hunting with Jasper wasn't exactly a chore, and we'd already fed once, which had taken the edge off.

In fact, as I watched Jasper running, flushed from the recently consumed blood and simultaneously graceful and powerful in his eternal form, I wondered if he was dead set on having another drink, or if he might consider a different sort of dessert.

I ran to catch up with Jasper, but stopped just short of doing so.

"You're so fucking hot when you run," I whispered from my place right behind him. "I want to rip your clothes off and take you right here on the forest floor."

I tucked a strand of his hair behind his ear and nipped at the lobe.

"That sounds nice," he said after pretending to think it over for a few seconds. "But you'll have to catch me first."

And with that he raced off full speed through the untamed forest, skirting the river's edge as it veered west.

Of course, I had no choice but to follow him as he ran off into the sunset.

I'd never had a choice when it came to Jasper.

* * *

_A/N: __There was an interesting discussion on Twitter recently about whether Twilight was primarily the story of a girl and a boy falling in love or the story of a human and a vampire falling in love. I guess I don't necessarily feel the need to decide, but with "Said and Done," I hope I wrote both (well, a boy and a boy, and a human and a vampire) for you—and maybe we had a few giggles along the way. _

_Before we wrap this up, I do have a few people I want to acknowledge. _

_So, to start, I really do think that the greatest gift a person can give is his or her time. We only have so much of it, you know? And so I really want to take just a moment to thank those who gave of their time and talents to this fic. I'm honored and grateful for every minute._

_First of all, sincere thanks to each of you who read what largely amounts to 25 chapters of pure silliness. If I could, I'd send each of you a snippet of Velcro to remember Edward and Jasper by, as one reviewer suggested._

_And speaking of reviews, thanks all of you who reviewed, recced, and loved this fic. Some of you reviewed every single chapter. That's just... awesome. I can't tell you how many of your reviews made me laugh like crazy. You are an amazing bunch of readers. So, really, thank you. I can't say it enough. And to those of you who spread the word via Twitter and forums and blog posts, I'm so grateful that you found this worthy of sharing. If you saw how hard I grinned every time I spotted one of you pimping SaD, you'd probably pee your pants laughing. _

_Special thanks to ArcadianMaggie and MistyHaze420 for "finding" me when this story was just starting out, and to others whose support early on made more of a impact than they could ever know, including OnTheTurningAway who left the very first ever review for SaD and Manyafandom who hosted it as a #readalong story. And thanks to VampthenewBlack and Beautifulfigment for making banners and avis for these boys. I mean, who else has banners featuring blueberries and pine trees and Velcro? _

_Thanks to Laura Cullen, my Twilighted validation beta, for taking the time to vet each and every chapter. And many, many, many thanks to those who pre-read chapters at one time or another along the way, including Bookjunkie1975, Yogagal, Missyfits, and especially theladyingrey42. Your honest feedback was invaluable to me and made this giant pile of crazy so much better than it otherwise could have been._

_And finally, to the person who spent endless hours correcting commas, fixing verbs, offering suggestions, and providing encouragement: Thank you, TwilightMundi. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You're amazing and I love you._

_So, just a few final words of advice: __Always, always eat your blueberries. Don't be afraid to hump a little pine when the occasion warrants. Always use a condom. And a__bove all, respect the 'cro._

_Thanks for reading. :)_


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